Disco granny a go go

So there was an ‘almost 97’ disco granny, on a maroon wheely motorised thing, dressed in the largest leopard print coat, my eyes could ever gaze upon, two pairs of sunglasses on, at the same time (one perched upon her lovely orange hair, the other was red, plastic and love hearts over her eyes, she had a hot pink furry hat on, no teeth, drag queen makeup on,..and then my Mother, whilst making sure we had enough fine earned pences in the bank to spend, had the audacity to look, point, and say, ‘..That’s going to be you when you’re older!!’ Then carry on like she never uttered those merry words. That was a poor, yet memorable beginning to my pretty decent day.

Pontefract for ONCE, (and this never happens, ) was full of HOT-ish boys, who actually dressed like they belonged in LA…FINALLY!! They were actually HOT (from certain angles), and must have been from somewhere else?? Yes, the temperature of the boys, in good old Ponty has risen, and thank the Good Lord!! Rejoice!!! I’m not sure what happened, but my friend after calling me a jolly ‘stupid bitch’ assured me, it had nothing to do with Ponty’s new found sex appeal, and more to do with the fact that it’s PAY DAY. They were actually out, young, buying things, dressed in Ed Hardy T-shirts, (instead of their usual minium wage do up) and unfortunately following me. I met the same 3 boys every single place i went. Even at the hospital?? I’m sure it was purely coincidental, however my other friend, i’ll call her ‘ too young to be that miserable,’ claimed i should know that it’s stalking when they actually shout ‘Chrissie..’ and play with their imaginary boobs! Ah well?

Although i get stared at a lot, for being bizarrely inappropriate. I’ve noticed that, it’s the people who just so happen to be escorting me through my day, my bitches, my darlings, my company, my (can’t think of anything else,) that actually get enraged, infuriated, proper narked…to the point of explosion, by it. I’m not sure why this is?? The glares really don’t bother me, as the glorious onlookers, feed my attention whoreness. Yet it’s ‘ pee ya pants’ HILARIOUS, to watch my friends, relatives or shag pieces go ‘ i’ll kill you with my rusty spoon,’ insane… during the ‘glares’. They get their knickers all up and twisted, and even start giving the poor onlookers a good stern talking too!! (hahahaha) It’s GREATNESS! I don’t get it??

Other than that i don’t have anything to report, due to the sincere feeling of starvation and evening telly. This Princess needs food, and i can smell me some red meat a somewhere?? So i’m going on an adventure to find it….like now!!! ‘You’re the bitch that God sends in to break a solid studs heart..,’ was said to me via a random admirer, at about 11.42 am today. Not sure whether thats good or bad, but either way He loses, right??

1 thought on “Disco granny a go go”

  1. sceptics drees like mugs chrissie, i am funing how shit were england toinght i feel like goig on a killing spree im that fuming the over paid cunts. i wear ed hardy shitts but i dont want to dress like im from la im a romford boy and pround of it im enlish till idie babe. i cam understand your geezers getting annoyed by onlookers and trandom fridges saying something u would want ot cut em doing that to a bird u are with or at least smash a glasss in there face. im sorry if im sounding violant im probley still vexxed after that shoer from england


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