Dear Diary….

Y’know, despite the ‘ups, downs & sticky life roundabouts,’ the time that Ruby, Junior and I have spent together this Summer has been wonderful. The time that we’ve shared has been beautiful. It’s been so good, it’s ‘juicy.’ Almost ‘freshly squeezed,’ like it’s been rolled in excitement and sprinkled with true love.

I always say it….but I feel really lucky!

The babies are beaming and even though the Summer Holidays are wrapping up & coming to an end, i’ll always remember the Summer of 2019.

We’ve shopped, we’ve lunched, we’ve played, we have a new pet (there’s a whole blog on ‘Boris’ shortly) and we’ve even actually worked. (They’re loving doing their Youtube videos. Hopefully some of you or YOUR little ones, have watched a couple.) As little bits of money is a trickling in, (I have an YT app, where they can watch their progress, & they can’t even believe it. They get so giddy. It’s cute.)

Ruby: ‘How can people make money just for having fun? It’s sooo good! I can’t believe it?’

Me: ‘That’s the whole point Ru. You’re meant to do something that you love. That way it never feels like work & ALWAYS feels like fun. It makes you happy!’

I guess, I should teach them that ‘work is work’ & ‘play is play,’ but I’m not going to. I always want them to choose their HAPPIEST option because to me you should always be doing BOTH and both should certainly come ‘hand in hand.’

Every time I’ve separated the two, my soul’s felt grey, still and like I’m in the wrong place, in the only time I have left on this Earth ball. It’s always been a stressful feeling. That’s not something that I want to teach on. I don’t want them to ever sacrifice their happiness. Anything in life that they feel they can’t handle, I’m here to step in, love, guide and support.

The wonderful thing about their videos is that because they’re only 8 & 6, they’re never ever thinking about money making & ONLY thinking about having ‘doing fun’ and living…I’ll capture their moments & lots of times without them even realising. I’m loving making memories…

Oh! Hang on…Someones calling me…

[An hour later…]

Sorry. I got distracted. I’ve been worried about Junior and all the drama that he’s going through. Something’s not right? It’s almost as if he’s trying to tell me something, but can’t? Everything seemed fine & just like that his peace, trust and confidence seems shattered, within a moment, at times?

I don’t know what’s going on?

I actually knew something like this would maybe happen. It was something i’d been cautious about.

I never let on, to Junior. I tried to be positive & supportive. Then just as predicted….I noticed a change. I noticed a change because it’s a change I’ve been through myself and a change in his manner.

Long story short….It’s like he’s been okay on the surface, yet quite emotional. In fact, he’s been calm but extremely emotional over the smallest things. He’s not like that. He even wet the bed last night? He hasn’t done that in years.

Something’s not right? I know my baby. His mind is on something, but I don’t know what?

I don’t like the feeling of it?

Annnnnnd breathe…..

However, I’m feeling strong and well I know that when Ruby, Junior and I are together, we’re unbreakable. Add my Mum ( & the rest of my family) to the equation…and there’s just so much love, that no hate could ever triumph up over it.

We can get through anything!!!

I went out of my way to make Junior happy from that point. My mum went out of her way to make ME happy, because she thought that I might be a little shaken under a glittery service of ‘I’m fine.’ (I WAS fine. In a situation like this, when it comes to making the people I love happy, I’m strong.)

Anyway….( I must be just letting it all out. I’ll quit rambling. You guys are great therapy! Haha)

My duty was to smile, shake off the drama and make other people smile again. Make people know they were appreciated. I shifted the grey cloud away with that traditional Wunna Land *wink.*

But that’s what’s great… The solution WE ALL reached for was to ‘move on’ and do the ‘make everyone we loved & are responsible for happy, again’ thing. That’s a good bunch of humans!!! That’s true Wunna style.

Everyone stayed over that night. My entire family, after we all kinda felt a little shaken by a sudden shock that intruded our privacy. It was creepy.

When I woke up, I woke everyone else up immediately, with excitement. ( That was probably annoying.) I don’t know why I was excited? My ‘bounce back ability’ must just be on point! But I felt good!

Mum: ‘Oh gosh? What’s happened now?’

Me: ‘Nothing. Haha. Everyone get up and get dressed. I’ll wake the babies up! Let’s all just go have some fun!! Like a massive family ‘out & about’ thing.’

Mum: ‘Yep. Good idea. I’m in.’

She looked at me with a beam in her eyes. She looked at me like she couldn’t be prouder.

Whenever Junior gets back from having to be away to ‘bond,’ the worrying thing is that he’s always odd and emotionally traumatised at first. The good thing is, we adore him, he snaps out of it and then he’s always dying to have so much fun!!! I mean just getting back and realising he had a tortoise was just an utter peak for him. He couldn’t believe it!

We’ve done so much since, but that moment alone made him so happy. He actually cried his first tears of joy. Aww!!

Me: ‘What d’ya want to do today Ju?’

Junior: ‘LEEDS!!!!!! Ruby & I really want to do LEEDS!!! We want to play, buy toys and have a really yummy lunch!!!!!’

Ruby: ‘Can we Mum?’

(The reason why they love a Leeds City Centre day is because it’s one of their ‘happy places.’ They see it as an adventure, a good time, because of the first surprise ‘Staycation’ they had earlier in the year. The city centre is filled with great memories and excitement for them! They it love so much, they beg me to buy a city centre apartment every month! Haha)

‘Yeah, of course….put ya shoes on. Let’s go!!!!’

And just like that…. We were off! Take a peek…

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