Dancing Boys in Bras Bitches

Morning My Treats! I’m in a bit of a ‘tiz’ this morning trying to organize all kinds of rubbish. I feel grubby (organizing does that to me, makes me feel dirty) and whilst i’m trying to write this blog, i have a Lady (i’m choosing to call her ‘Fatty’) who’s pulling, tugging, back combing and yanking at my hair, in order to make it look like ‘bed head.’ At the moment my hair is extremely large, extremely glamour puss and well i’m wondering who ON THIS EARTH actually wakes up in the morning and has hair like this, after a one night stand?? I’m about to do a shoot…where i’m supposed to have just woken up in a man’s white work shirt (you get the idea.) I have almost perfectly bouncy glamour puss locks, my face has not a single smudge and i smell like a bunch of the most deliciously sweet roses.

Not being funny or anything, but that’s not how i wake up on a morning after a one night bedroom shuffle!!!  I’d probably be naked, a bit gungey in all the right places, one eyelash would be hanging off my eyelid, my hair would be all over the place, my pillow would have last nights face and glitter smeared all over it, (like a gay butchers apron) and i’d have the largest ache in my head, banging it’s way through my being. Then to top it all off, the lucky male in question (who i’d be wishing would go away) would probably be rubbing his penis up against my leg (like you all do) in dying hope for an early rise round of the ‘goodies.’ Right now… i look too good to be touched. But i am sipping a cuppa tea, with rollers in my hair and pink fluffy slippers on my tootsies, in a mans shirt and underwear whilst i wait. If Kimora lee Simmons and Nora Batty had a baby…i’d be it right now. GREATNESS!!

I bought bras yesterday because my boobies are of great importance to me. If they ever go saggy, please just tie them around my neck and kill me. They are like children to me. I’m a bit of a shit Mother to them, but we’re doing the best we can! (‘Ooh laaa!’) Whilst i was searching through an array of candy coloured, polka dotted, lacy, cutesy bolder holders…Out of nowhere, pops this 5 year old blond boy, who’s wearing 4 Easter coloured bars over his t-shirt. He jumps out, in order to scare me, points at his imaginary boobies (all smiles ans light) and starts doing this little ‘wiggly bum’ dance. Hahahaha! He wouldn’t stop! It went on for ages!! At first i was pissing myself with laughter…as he really was quite good. I see ‘Drag Queen’ in his future. Yet after 10 solid minutes of this hilarious behaviour, it was no longer as hilarious. Infact it got a bit awkward really and i started searching for his Mother with my eyes. He just wouldn’t stop…EVER! I started trying to scoot away from him, to the shoe section, but he followed me pointing at his nipples and dancing in his bras. I swear, i tried on about 40 pairs of shoes, and right by my side like the darling that he was..now shouting ‘look at my boobies’ was this little boy. Luckily i kept getting stopped by teenage girls who wanted their picture with me, so i’d pose, smile and then ask them if they could see him too?? (At one point he could’ve been a figment of my imagination.) To this day i have no idea who his Mother is or where she went?? I sort of passed him off to the shoe sales girl and glided off in the other direction when he wasn’t looking. I mean i would’ve taken a picture of him to show you. Yet to be honest, it would be a bit dodgey photographing a 5 yr old, in bras, suggestively dancing. Knowing my luck, his Mother would’ve made an appearance right at that point.

I’ve godda go. I’ve got to work!

7 thoughts on “Dancing Boys in Bras Bitches”

  1. good luck with the shoot babe i bet u look choong and u will knock the camera man bandi babe. that lil tin pot sounds well funny

    Reply

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.