‘D’ is for Drama March 22, 2011 by Chrissie So Loverboy and I are fighting and when I say ‘fighting,’ I simply mean bickering. I mean i’ve indulged in many a fight with a ‘handsome.’ A few of them of the comedic variety. I few of them ‘DIVA’. A jolly trifle of the hurtful and shouty and one of them quite lovingly…violent. 🙂 Now, Loverboy and I hardly ever get into ‘bickersville’ and when we do, it’s never as bad as the above. (*Flashback* of me actually karate chopping a Mexican boy in a living room. LOL. THEN hitting him with a candle holder, that was cleverly ‘bent ironed’ into a tree. It’s funny NOW. But he did punch me and try to extinguish me with a fire extinguisher. ) Anyway, yeah. We’ll not tango down the ever so delightful ‘Hollywood drama’ and well why would we, when I have so much drama going on right here…in Pontefract. Lets just say the strain and stress that I have been feeling under over the last few dayscertainly hasn’t done our ‘love nest’ any favours. I’ll describe our fighting as the moment when you’re trying to pass a random lovely in the street. Yet they end up being in your way and you find yourself in that weird ‘side step’ dance of doom. Where you both keep stepping the same way and yet nobody is getting anywhere fast. It’s annoying and we’re annoying each other. (Well more he’s annoying me and mainly because he attempted to be all ‘cockerilla’ with me and I don’t mean that his willy decided to get all ‘gorilla-anger’ much on me. I mean, his attitude and due to him doing a bit well in life for once..stank.) Give a man a gold star and he’ll think he’s the bomb diggy and then some. I’m usually quite the cheerleader, but believe me i’ve ripped that star off him and trod on it in stilettos. My ‘Va Voom’ alone has dissolved any male ego that he tried to bitch slap my way. I’m not having it AT ALL. Today i frightened him emotionally, to give him a taste of my feist. He’s already fallen to pieces. I’m not a force to be reckonned with and especially not now that i’ve lost all my baby weight and it’s sunny. Heeelllooo skinny bitch in booty shorts. *Work sunglasses here. * This Doll has been on salad, not sumo meat. Anyway, before i get into all the drama, the what, why and where? I’ll take you back in time to a day before, when Wazza & Hannah entered Wunnaland and luckily with gifts. Yep. Good old Wazza & Hannah muscled over for a wee little visit, to see my delicious Baby Ruby for cuddles. I adore Baby Ruby and love that there has been sooo much love for her from all over the entire world. It makes me happy knowing that her wiggle onto this earth, has been truely celebrated by warm hearted hotties and heels. Wazza & Hannah bought Rubes her first ever pair of tiny girl Adidas baby trainers. Well i call them ‘kicks’ and OMG i am obsessed. He apparently was going to buy her a pair of real life baby high heels. Yet went against the idea when he realized that i’m stupid enough to actually put her in them and parade her around town, whilst people throw heavy rocks and swear words at me. Pete put her ‘too big for her’ baby trainers over her babygrow and passed her to Wazza. In return my daughter *trumped* on him, then wanted Hannah to be her NEW mum, during a cuddle. I mean Hannah (who’s amazing with babies) held Baby Rubes and my ‘half asleep’ TRAITOR daughter of Judas, peeked one eye open, saw a whole new mum, sighed with relief that she’d finally managed to ditch me…then gave Hannah her comedy Elvis ‘lip curl’ that she used to only do for me, in order to impress her, with a ‘KEEP MEEE. KEEEP ME!’ I think we made jokes about Quakers then and then I decided that i wanted Ruby to be a teenager already, so i could saunter in at that part of her life, after ‘going missing’ through the initial part of it and enter with a ‘Yo! I’m ya mum! Yes I AM off the telly.’ (I actually got stopped at Marks and Spencers today by the cashier and asked if I was the girl from ‘OMG.’ It would’ve been great if i didn’t have a trout easing its way up the conveyer belt. I happily said ‘Yes’……we all know I adore these moments….Then she asked me about my baby, as the trout and WINE trundled their way up to the cashier. I never want anyone to mistake me for a ‘boozy’ mum. I mean I can only just handle the dramatics of my life whilst sober…let alone sauced up in heels. Plus, people have more sympathy for me when i don’t drink. They think i’m a good person and everything. 🙂 ) Anyway back to Loverboy and I. Our relationship has been highly strained and falling apart by the seams by the day. I want more from Pete help wise and he wants to get his life in order and have me to worship him like an old mother ‘dote-fest.’ We’ve been argueing a lot and pretty much since I went back to work. I’ve got a lot on may plate with the book, no help, my newborn, a boyfriend, all the childcare, money, a showbizzy job and a day job..all in one. Right now, I’ve been handling it really well…no matter how it’s made me feel. I mean, next week i have to go back to work FULL time and i’ve hardly ever get to spend time with my newborn. Pete doesn’t get how much that might eat away at me emotionally and because i’m a ‘get the job done’ kinda girl. I’m not moaning, it’s not my style. I’m simply ‘doing’ and doing everything well-ish. What i need from him is a mild bit of cheerleading and not words of a ‘Bitter Betty.’ I’m on my last legs. But i’m fine!! I’m gonna make it through the storm, because i’ve been through much worse. Pete just to be more selfless. Today i’ve not only taught him a lesson, by breaking our bond temporarily in order to find air. But i’ve given him a day in the life of Me. He hasn’t found it easy. This morning was awful. I was talking about leaving him and he was taling about putting us on ‘a break.’ It was one of those bickers, where you don’t mean anything you’re saying, but you’re saying it anyway! He tried to be all cocky. It back-fired on him. If you challenge me and i’m not happy….you’re fucked. Now, don’t worry. We’re not going our separate ways or knotting up fresh rope. We’re just fighting right now, due to stress and figuring out our immediate life change. I mean we have new homes and weddings coming up next. I’m trying to do the right thing and trying to figure out if too much work is bad thing? Am I doing the right thing by committing full time? I never want Ruby to go without. Yet more than anything i want to be with her for every moment of her early existance. It’s soo difficult to get your head around emotionally, but i’m going to do it anyway and see. The more I work. The happier her future. I often want Pete’s mind to guide me, in these situations. But it never does. He rants on like bitter old housewife, who isn’t even hoochie. 🙂 This is the problem you get, if you date a younger boy. They never the same amount of life experience or knowledge as you. I need someone i can talk to about life and decisions. I’m like a 2nd mum to Pete. But I need an extra bit of mind to aid me through the journey of life when things pile upon me. On the whole i’m happy. I am. I mean, i’ve been a bitch all day to Loverboy. But I know that i’m just under stress. I feel as though he doesn’t want to make many ‘new daddy’ sacrifices, where I have naturally made soooo many. My mums coming over to jolly me up and pull me back together. I need a spritzer. Ih ave work tomorrow and my book needs to email it’s way over slowly but surely to my agent. I need to contact ‘Latin Lover.’ The weather is fricking gorgeous and on a funnier note…I showed Pete a picture of what he thought was a girl in lingerie and asked him if he thought she was ‘hot.‘ He opened mouth declared his undying love for her…and it was my gay friend ‘Deeva’ dressed as a girl. 🙂 I LOVE IT!!! Loverboy got all embarrassed and weirdly suggested ‘smacking me in my big mouth.’ Lol. Aww…Gay Adam is texting me telling me i’m his IDOL, after CELINE DION. HAHA. I knew I loved him. Anyway must go. Loverboy’s at work. I work tomorrow. Baby Ruby needs cuddles and well my world is currently a rollercoaster. I think i’m not used to sharing my life with a boy. I’m an independant chica. The ‘Handsomes’ in my life have never been this permanent before. I’m having to get used to it and well I just like to do my things, my way and usually solo. I don’t mind sacrificing for Ruby, she’ s my life..mydaughter. But I just can’t get my head around sacrificing for a boy. As they say…somethings got to give.