Cue Beyonce

Okay, so my M.I.L.F/Daughter ‘show her the world’ day began with a trip to Meadowhall. (What? I needed nail polish and a burrito and Ruby was all kinds of up for the attention, the magical Disney store lights, my GREAT singing 🙂 all the way there and a bit of an adventure in pink.) Therefore armed with my Mum, dad, Brother and ego, we wiggled and giggled our way through the stores showing her exactly how to work the frilly socks and exactly how to buy the correct footwear for disco dancing.

We’ve all had a marvellous day and i’ve never seen my little girl happier. Maybe because she’s away from all the drama that has been caused over the last couple evenings? Each Wunna has nothing but funny faces and cleverly formed rap rountines that incorporate the word ‘Ruby’ in them, meaning that the loss of her Daddy, hasn’t really been too bad. was the best day of her life and she smiled at my through it, like yeah….I was doing okay.

I kinda wanted to get through my day, without having to really think about the ‘drama,’ in order to clear my head. Yet ofcourse I wasn’t granted that. I wrongly sent a text to his sister this morning, stating that i had no respect for a boy who throws out a glamour puss and his baby. It turned into a voicemail, more text messages, more drama and all because she wanted to say her piece. Right now, i’m not bothered about what was said. What bothers me is the result of what has happened, due to that phone call. I made it clear that i didn’t want to really talk to her, as surely the resolution of this situation should be between Pete and I. I don’t have to talk to anyone if i don’t want to. Text, works for Me. It’s how I roll. I’m just tired of the ‘yadda yadda.’ Infact, it actually really put me off Pete. I’d be marrying into an everyday of THAT and I just want nothing to do with any of them really.

I will say, that I did mention that Pete was an awful dad for not once calling or texting to check in on his bambino and within 10 minutes i recieved a text from Pete reading ‘When can i see Ruby?’ (When you need to prompt a boy…we’ll you know where i’m going with this.)

Long story short, i’m shopping and enjoying my retail therapy. Hot pink and golden heels really did make me feel better today. I bought and bought and bought and i horrificially began to miss him, but only because I didn’t know whether he actually cared for us?

An hour later, I called. (Don’t worry.) He picked up, let it deliberately ring 4 times, answered the call like he hadn’t been waiting for it and said ‘You can come back.’

Ruby and I aren’t toys! This yo’yo’s broken sir. Try again please! Therefore, I replied with a ‘yeah i am coming back later…to pick up the rest of my things. I’ll bring Ruby so you can hang out with her during the time i grab a bag.’ He was not only upset, but shocked. Yet i don’t care…don’t THROW us out!! Dickhead! I mean imagine if I had nowhere to go!!! I don’t care that he didn’t mean it. He let go of his baby in order to what?? Pretend to stick up for his family!! *Yawn.* He really actually thought i’d be coming back today and well his game of ‘no call’ backfired. Why would I want to be with a boy that daren’t express!?! We’ve left. We’re single and with PINK shoes and everything.

Our ‘best day ever’ finally came to an end, and it was home time. Yet i’m now knowing that he loves us. He began his phone conversation all about Ruby and how he missed her and then crept in with an ‘and I miss you too.’ I told him that I’m not ready to be with him and don’t at all want to be with him right now. He panicked. I hung up.

We get home and Ruby and I play-play-play and like our jolly lives depended on it. Those moments are precious to me…she accidentally cheer today whilst we were lost in playtime on our bed. It’s magical. We rubbed noses and as she giggled with ‘ooh’ faces, in my arms, in a way she was propping me up. That was my favourite part of the day.

At around 7pm we get to Pete’s appartment and after the *buzz* and the steady walk up the flights of stairs. (I had Ruby in my arms.) We swung open the door, expected me to fall into his arms with an ‘i love you.’ But then i reminded him that i was here to PICK UP stuff and not love him anymore. I got right to it and let him play with Ruby as I did. I was happy, but emotion-less and pretty much did what i went there to do, with no drama and no fuss, as he told me that he loved me, wanted us back, didn’t mean anything he said, looked like he was about to cry and admitted to playing a game.

I packed and when I had done told him that i couldn’t be with him, he THREW Me and my Baby out and that’s not something ‘okayed’ with a ‘oops i’m sorry.’ I also told him that his sisters phone call caused the breakdown of my little girls well being and therefore it would never work because like I said, i want NOTHING to do with his family. I’m here for MY CHILD and his family’s bit of stroppiness shook her stability.

He looked at me with eyes of love and desperation. He tried to assure me that it WOULD work because I would never have to associate with them. He just wanted us back. After a bit more bickering. I got up, grabbed my bags and packed myself, baby Ruby and my future into the black Mercedes. The left hand door was open because he just couldn’t swing it shutl he held onto it with tears in his eyes praying that we would stay.

I looked at him. Politely told him to close the door, then Ruby and I were driven off and back home to do life, with love and hope. I’ll will actually let you in on a little trick of mine. When Ruby and I went to see Pete, I made sure we looked new. New clothes, new nails, new hair, new everything. For the first time ever, it wasn’t out of vanity, yet to plant in his mind a vision that ‘so much has changed and we had moved on’ without him. It really did work. I had never seen him so panicked. He is frightened that we’ll never come back and terrified that i’ll be with someone else. (Then don’t throw us out!!!!!! )

I’ve stuck to my guns and he WILL learn that to toy with the people who you’re meant to love has awfully horrific circumstances.

I begin a whole new work week tomorrow…a very busy, busy one and for the first time in a year and a bit….i’ll be doing it as a single girly! *Cue Beyonce.*

1 thought on “Cue Beyonce”

  1. Chrissie,

    Sometimes life doesn’t go according to plan. I know this myself all too well as I am going through hell in my own right now. The good thing for you though is that you are safe and so is your baby girl. That is all that matters in the end, that you are both safe, but most importantly, your baby girl is happy.

    My best to you and I hope that you find your solid footing again soon.


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