Just got back from an eyetest at
Specsand a wee bit of last minute (code for : avers ‘I’m bored’) shopping in Pontefract town centre. The ultimate height of shopping destinations. *Does sarcastic face.* But whatever, i came back with a cream bun, a box of sight, sausage rolls, Paracetemols, hair bobbles and waterproof eyeliner. Glamourous i know! Everyone kept glaring at me like they’d prefer it if i didn’t really exist too near them. 🙂 I don’t know if it’s ‘becoz i iz black,’ in too much bronzer, faar too pregnant to be carrying 5 supermarket shopping bags, or just too beautiful to even believe that i would be infront of their eyes, in a faux fur. 🙂 I’m gonna go with the ethnic thing. *Takes a bite out of cream bun.*
Specs avers were actually decent to me today! I got there early and the optician who looked like a chipper Dick Van Dyke, when he has white hair, in that mdeical murder mystery series. He told me to attempt to read the ‘bottom line,’ a line that simply looks like ants to me, even at the best of times. WEIRDLY! Now get this…i simply reeled off a confident ‘F.Z.N.L.’ Then i paused in confusion in sheer shock that i could actually see it? He told me to chance another line of ‘bottom’ and AGAIN…i got them ALL right! WTF!?! Twilight zone much.
Apparently because i’m pregnant, my eye sight has briefly got a great deal better. My child has superpowers? I mean, i usually can’t even see under my eyelashes, let alone READ things?? But whatever, i can now see and all that jazz. Then we got to the good bit, where he turns the lights out, makes you rest your chin on the machiney thing and makes your eyes ‘follow the light.’ (‘Look up. Look Down. Look to the side. Now the other side..’) I find that part really comforting. I could do it for hours. It’s all cozy and warm. Infact, I kept seeing blue light balls of disco. Like the ones you get when you’ve gone a bit dizzy, after moving too fast or getting up from a backbend, when you’re not at all fit. Then the lights went on and i left with marvellous vision. @ Specsavers even Tweeted me with a ‘ @chrissiewunna how did your visit go in the end? We hope your fears were unfounded! :)’ I likey very much! They were probably just lying to me & i’m actually blind as a bat. Like a definite lost cause of Kitty cat, therefore they figured they might aswell tell Me I can see in order to shut me up, so they never have to deal with me again.
Moving on…because the Good Lord had decided to bless me with sight, I decided that I should purchase liquid eyeliner in celebration. Nothing like underlining your decent pair of vision balls (my eyes) with liner. Might aswell. Bitches, i can see!!! I actually really only bought it because i needed a new waterproof version to the liquid eyeliner that I already use. I believe a great deal of weeping will take place on my big old day of ‘labour.’ The BBC will be there filming and i can’t think of anything worse than looking at the camera in my *ouchie*vaginal pain and having black marks streaming down my face like i’m a heroin addict, or ‘gutter left’ prozzie or something?
Loverboy has left me ALL alone today, whilst he works. 🙁 It feels really lonely. I mean, i know how he must feel now. I work ALL of the time, meaning we only get to enjoy a few precious hours with one another. The girl at Claire’s Accessories in Ponty was sweet to me. I was trying to buy a headband to keep my weave out of my face during the old *push-push.* 14 months ago, she went through the exact same thing and was therefore kindly answering ALL of my typical ‘about to give birth’ questions, that i keep tragically running through people, if they tell me they’ve had a baby. You kinda just get obsessed with it all. I’m trying to stop myself from being terrified. But anyway she was LOVELY and thought the Ponty midwives were rubbish. 🙂 (‘Make sure you don’t at all listen to them. Go with your gut instinct. They told me to not bother going into the hospital yet, at the exact time that I called. I was already 9cm dilated and I had the baby.’) 😮
Anyway, because i’m at home nesting, bored and working from home. I’ve decided to live vicariously through you. I have a friend who’s going to ‘woo’ the male object of his desire, via the fine art of marshmellows. (Love you @EddClay. *Retweet*) Harriet’s decided to wind her ‘ Handsome’ up, by ONLY replying to his emails with Britney Spears lyrics. (This is why I am happy! I have ACE friends.) When I asked ‘Karl Pearce’ what he’d be doing for Valentine’s Day, he simply typed the word HAHAHAHAHA! And everyone else i believe has hurt themselves or has a loved one that’s hurt themselves, so will be chilling in a hospital for the days to come. Oh and my Mum’s frolocking around the jungles of Burma. I Love it! ‘valentines.’
I’m right now kinda fancying aValentine’s baby. Yet Pete om the other hand ( i hate ‘the other hand’) believes it will RUIN the day of love for both us and our little bambino? We’re actually a really romantic couple. All kissy and a cuddly. All ‘i’ll love you til the day i die.’ But i’m all for a Valentine’s baby to mark our love, before it runs out. Lol. He would much prefer a weekend baby. Like Saturday..because Feb12th has a certain I think it’s really because he wants presents on Valentines Day and therefore needs the day to go along as normal, in order to still beable to recieve gifts. If I have her before that day, all i’m gonna do is get the baby gift wrapped and hand it to him with a card. I’ve carried her for 9 months. I need champagne and romance. Infact, maybe he is right after all? ‘ring to it?’ Erm…?
Sam & I performing ‘The Robot.’