Okay so i’m being weirdly inundated with messages galore, from beautiful beings all over this fine ‘dandy’ who are wanting to know about the ‘ins and outs’ of my darling love life, because you all believe there is ‘Trouble in Paradise.’ All i’m gonna say is thankyou very much for your concern, (You nosey little swines) but everything is fine, fine, perfectly fine! I’m all good. I’m still very much in love and he’s doing dandily. I only really listen to myself. I’ve always been rubbish like that. But at least i have the balls to beg…lol
Oh and that whole ‘Men are Awful’ status on facebook, was just a bit of lovely banter, because i had been reading a few bits and bobs and yeah i found some really interesting stuff…Men are cunts, and have been since back in the day. I believe that it’s common knowledge though. Spread the joy!! It’s so much fun being hurt by centuries of boys! I love being a Girl. So much better…
Other than that I heard that my friend Harriet was domestically violated by her soon to be hubby ‘Dan,’ by a drop kicked cushion to the body, in a moment of anger..which would have hurt more if he had attached a goat to it. (lol.) Actual quote there..!!! She told him she would drop kick a cushion at him with a ‘Wunna’ attached to it. I love their fights…it’s the very best love. I love how i’m the same as a ‘goat’ and immediately come to mind, mid being domestically violated! ( I didn’t do it. He got that scratch mark himself!!)
Then the other day i was walking down the street in Camden listenning to a ‘Jonny’ tell me that if we were ‘Romeo and Julliet’ (who’s love wasn’t that good, cos they fucking died) he’d make me take the poison first. Promise me he’d do it after. Watch me shoot it, then politely tell me (mid-DYING) that he really couldn’t do it and is gonna run off with some blond slag instead. (Lol) I actually forgot that happened! Hilarious! That actually makes me wan to call him right this second…
Love makes you do silly things. But great silly things. I mean there’s this dude on Facebook called ‘Darshana’ Infact he could actually be a chick..(who i don’t remotely know) who every morning begs me to love him (or her). He’ll type’ Love me..’ Then i’ll politely type ‘NO!’ (hahaha.) He’ll try again and i’ll still type ,‘NO!!’ This goes on and on…that it almost nearly humours me. (But doesn’t really at all.) I also have girlfriends of my guy friends being insecure and asking me to stalk their ‘ever so trusted’ other halves. No can do…i can’t even sort out my own jiggery pokery. And i dont like to get invovled in the mess of others. It ruins by hair. Plus, i’m an awful stalker…the last time i stalked someone (haha..this already sounds healthy) he stopped his car, turned around, called my cell phone and said, ‘Christina I can see u following me.‘ (Then pissed himself laughing.) I guess i’m mentally ill, but charming with it. He then bought me pasta.
Boys are also currently killing me with kindness and it’s creeping me out. Why are you all being so nice?? I don’t get it? It’s spooking me?? I’ve had some say ‘Just incase i’m not okay…they’re there for me’ (I AM okay goddamit!!! no ‘pity party’ neccessary.) I’ve also had some try to ‘over’ nice me. (You really don’t need too.) And then others tell me that they are really really ‘good’ guys. (Code for: ‘want in my pants.’) You can’t ‘good’ your way into my pants! Ask ‘Wiley,’ he called me a frigid lesbian. My pants aren’t for ‘good’ things. They’re for all things naughty! (Baaad girl. Down girl. Spank, spank wink.)
All is well in Wunnaland…Don’t get it twisted! I’m book writing today, Back to Energy drink meetings and already shot my shoot. Been up since 6!!!