Come here and kiss me May 9, 2010 by Chrissie WHY DO I KEEP SEEING ONE FUCKING MAGPIE!!! ONE!! Every morning now! We all know the rhyme…ONE for sorrow, one for joy…blah blah bloody blah. I keep seeing just one! UGH!!! I have done over the last four days. God knows what touble i’m gonna end up getting into, for life to serve me up a side of ‘sorrow.’ (Hopefully that’s simply the name of some random hot shirtless boy, who i’ll accidentally meet down a dark alley.) I officially hate magpies. I mean, as if you’re gonna wait until i totter out, all cheery and giggly, then send just ONE of you, to flap by me! I’m having to keep my eyes closed…which is quite difficult when trying to function. Just so you know, i have PMT…a delicious dollop of it, so i’m on a very short fuse…which i do find hilarious. Anyone can pretty much say anything to me right now, and i’ll find a reason to yell at them. Mid-yell i stop, then crack up and my idiocracy. I love being all hormones and boobies. I’m lethal. I think i’m gonna commit to being mental and sexually sassy ALL day. Plus, I wonder whether Wazza is over fancying girls who look like they are almost 11 years old and again..i wonder when i’m going to be handed my trophy for yet again failing to fall pregnant after the second go. Right now, all i need is to be pulled through a bush backwards in order to top the day off really. But anyway, i might be moody, but i actually look sizzle hot! You can’t win them all..but that box…i ticked bitches! *Cue fanfare.* Anyway, along with being exhausted to the point where i’ve had to take 2 days off in order to fill back up, life is great. I’ve been invited to go to Cannes tomorrow, but i can’t due to work commitments, plus i just need a rest. I’ve lost my voice from shouting ‘You cheeky liddle heeel own wheels’ with Drunk Rosie at a middle aged man from Florida. I don’t sound like a tranny yet, but it will get there. My voice is currently in the ‘ call 0800-hot-sex’ stage. It’s all a huskeroo, therefore today i can’t play Barbie, i have to play Vixen. I’ve just looked at the time. I’m meant to taxi-ing it to Loverboys pad, in 20 minutes. We’re gonna have a bit of a chillax, a cuddle, i’m going to be a sasserilla, and then later on in the evening we might go to a thai restuarant. I fancy a bit of ‘rumpy’ right now. Having a boyfriend, does come in handy for that! Thank God he’s sexy much, otherwise i’d have to take my contacts out to blur the view. He’s delicious. I feel lucky…and like i’ve broken every bone in my body. This dancing malarky at 29, really does do a number on you. I’ve been bent into all kinds of uncompromising positions, and well i really have done my back in. It’s hilarious! I feel flirty today, and a bit frisky. I might try it out on my little Petey. I won’t really have to try to hard, coz he’s quite up for it most of the time. I want a kiss..a magical one. One where my boobies grow 22 inches larger and my pants accidentally slip down, just from the heat of the moment. I really do wish my body would stop acheing. It’s turned my *wiggle-wink* into a *Hobble off, ungracefully-but still hair tossing.* Just so you know, i do actually *hair toss* in really life…really life? I mean Real life! Oh and i do it ALL the time. I’m a girl, and one of the Glamour Puss variety…..it’s what we do. Try it…you might like it! *Wink* Why am i surrounded by eggs? If i see one magpie AGAIN (and i already have today, i’m having it for dinner, or stuffing it in a place where only i will be pleasured!) God having PMT rocks. It’s sexy. My boobs are all swelly. If i sneeze, i’m sure they’ll explode. Luckily only glitter would spurt out…you’re all safe, don’t worry.