Chipper little Chicken Much

Oh my gosh, my pretty little things of ‘coochie.’ How delicious is the weather today!!! I mean, Springtime is definitely upon us and well if the ‘breezey warm’ continues, Spring could end up being my favourite season. It kinda makes everyone bizarrely cheery, and want to make out with people, in the sun at afternoon ‘on the patio’ bars, with a margarita, or a fruity umbrella drink, with a *wink,* a drapage of pastel colours (I’m in lemon today) and that Wunna fancy free, ‘aah fuck it’ attitude. As you can tell i’m feeling wonderful today. I’m happy and enjoying life and i think i’m about to go frolocking in the garden with my boobies, a *giggle,* a kitten and pint of gin. 🙂 I’m gonna make a really great Mother one day. lol. (‘Honey you’re angles are all wrong in that outfit….gin makes you thin!’) Whenever it’s warm in Yorkshire, it reminds me of Hollywood and brings the ‘Dolly’ out in me. I was a GREAT ‘being’ in the land of tinsel, and we all know i was a champion Hollywood wife. 🙂 (‘Babe..do my heels go with this dishwasher?‘)

To be honest i am feeling a tad bit superficial bimbo today, (incase you hadn’t noticed) but it’s all in good fun…i’m feeling playful. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with tthe art of Bimbo. It’s something that gets slated quite a lot. Yet, i LOVE playing it…as there’s no other time where you feel like the Ultimate girly girl of gooey. Like you can get away with the craziest of shit..and well i’m a clever girl. I’ll work whatever i can…to *shimmie* an array of ticks on my ‘to do in life’ list. *Wiggle-wink-pulls panties out of butt crack*

I’m having to nurse a baby kitten, who completely has the actual kitten flu, (aww)…all it wants to do is cling onto my right boobie and *sneeze* on it all day. I love it…it’s all helpless and looks a bit tipsy. Yet, i keep getting it tangled into my weave…which really is quite unfortunate.

On the boy front, I guess things are going well with the boy i went on a date with. He has one of those jobs where he has to work all day. (Eww.) I have one where i shoot for 4 hours, and i’m done. But, i like him. He’s cute and perfect for Springtime. I’m glad i met him. He’s one of those good men, that we as girls often take for granted. Therefore i’ve been warned by Wazza not to ‘fuck it up,‘ because i guess good men rarely come around, infact, i know they don’t. Therefore when Cupid decides to cut you some slack and delivers a ‘goody’ across your drunken pathway, it’s important you hold onto them and cherish. I mean i wish i did with Mikey my ex-hubby…and yeah it can be boring at times, but i’m getting older now, and i can feel it..(on all levels of the phrase) so i’m not so foolish anymore. I know what’s right for me, i know whats wrong for me. I’ve dated a gzillion Handsome men (and a couple not so handsome..but fuck it i was either drunk or lonely) and out of them ALL only one and that was the one i married…was a decent man. This new one…is the same…so we’ll see what happens. (I hate it when i say things like this, because i jina…jina? I mean JINX it and something always goes wrong! Plus when boys date me, they change.)

I’ve woken up in Springtime in London, Asia, Los Angeles, New York and Miami…this year i woke up in Yorkshire, and i’ve never felt so ‘ooh laa.’ Don’t make your life harder than it needs to be. I’m good at Life, because i don’t take it too seriously…i have fun with it and love it with a tender ‘coochie coo.’ When you do…it rewards. I currently know so many people who are in the same world as me, but they’re feeling so dark, grey and lost. The only way you can get out of that ‘dark’…is to snap out of it. It takes 21 days to get over anything. If you don’t like something in your life…change it! I’m really happy…and when you are, to really can make every dream come fucking true! *hair toss.*

The girl that i told you about who talked to me on Facebook, about her anorexia the other day…(who some girl, with no decency called ‘jenna’ decided to comment and claim my whole life was made up…because she doesn’t know how to enjoy her own life) actually messaged me yesterday, telling me that after our talk, she immediately signed up to a therapist and is on her way to rehab! AMAZING!

I’m noticing that without me even realizing i’m affecting peoples lives. Jonny actually told me that the other week. He’s been quite down recently and well…i hope he finds his footing in this world. I feel like in a way, i was kinda holding him up…and i’ve let go of him. I let go…because i put ME first. We’re still close close friends…i mean we always will be, but he needs to find his way and he can only do that on his own. I never had human stabilizers growing up. I ventured to Hollywood and wobble and winked my way to victory, picking my floozey self up all the way…and i would’nt have it any other way. I’ve been terrible. But i’ve been GREAT. I learnt life fast. All worlds. The best and the worst. And the fact that i’m still here smiling, means any of you bitches can do it tooo!!!

The suns out…be naughty, have fun. In the words of 90210…

 ‘When the going gets tough, the tough get into bikinis!’