Family, Sunshine, New Fun, Old friends….


Gosh! I have had the most AMAZING family weekend EVER, this weekend and BOY have I enjoyed this delicious dose of sunshine. I’ve laughed, shopped, relaxed, and lunched with the babies. Junior chose to lawn mow with Grandma today (boys and their toys,) whereas Ruby wanted me to take her for jasmin tea and fried seaweed pancakes.

After lunch, we all settled at my Mum’s for love, garden times, cocktails, food and sunbathing, I don’t think the babies have been this happy in AGES, neither have I and i’m a pretty happy human. There was a moment today when i watched my Mum and dad just ‘be’ under a giant pink garden parasol, with generations of Wunna’s around them that they created. They looked so in love..and it made me smile, as it gave me hope. my parents have been together forever and every day I am grateful for them, their love, their support and the fact that I have the most beautiful family and children. It doesn’t really matter when you find your ‘Prince’ as long as in the end you do and i only say that because i’m not a girl who wants to be sixty years old, with no life companion..who’s seen me through the best times, the tough times and looks at me like i’m his world, his rock, his baby. 🙂

Sunbathing was amazing!

The downside to living in the UK is that you don’t get that constant LA sunshine 24/7. I mean, I never took that sunshine for granted when I lived there…but i’m the palest i’ve ever been, and STILL more tanned than most around these parts! Lol.

I love living in Yorkshire, even though i moan about it sometimes. In fact i’m a chick that would make the most of anywhere that I chose to live. But i did think that I was maybe residing on the wrong continent earlier…as when the boys in Ponte go for a casual beer…they don’t look like this..

…just regular guys in LA, en route for a drink in the sun. It is LITERALLY LIKE THAT everywhere in LA! Hotness always!

But then i got over the ‘suns out, guns out’ brigade and whipped off my top to enrich my garden tan. I love being Yorkshire…and the weird thing is, that the boys in LA ADORE a ‘Yorkshire’ gal. I guess, you always desire something different as it seems so much more exotic? I’m a lot more popular with the boys in Hollywood than I am over here in England…and i kinda feel popular with the boys here. 🙂 Just sayin’ lol (Shut up…i do!)

The whole weekend has been amazing. I’ve kinda just kept myself to myself, and my family…aside from yesterday when I met up with Tony…a really great and good guy friend of mine who i adore. I love Tony, because he’s one of these really good guys, who isn’t ‘beige’ nor is he dull..he’s fun and vibrant…in the same way as I am, as he’s not weird, or edgy, or too much. He’s just fun. He enjoys the finer things in life…and well we both enjoy the same sorts of things. To be honest, before i dated Ben, when we were all friends, I actually got along better with Tony than I did Ben. 🙂 And everyone knew that. Hahaha.

He’s a great guy…such a good balance of fun and normal aceness.

Anyway, the other good thing that we as friends have in common, is that fact that we are BOTH PARENTS. I like that! People who aren’t actual parents aren’t exactly the same… as people who are real parents. Don’t get me wrong, there are great step parents…lots of great step parents. But you completely understand the lifestyle change, if you’re a proper parent, right? Do you get it?

Bottom line, great to see him, great to hang out with him, like we used to…great to chat to him about out shit love lives…and most of all, great to have a sit down and be able to do as OUR LITTLE GIRLS, played in luxury cloth play homes and sand pits and made us pretend food, whilst munching on cookies and sausage rolls. I bought them ‘tea parties in a tin’ and Tony planted pumpkin seeds with them, with Dave the Minion.

That’s what’s good about Tony…AND the fact that when we’re out..we both know how to be the MOST FUN ever! 🙂 I enjoy him! Lots! Yet the only rubbish thing about him is that we’re in the same circle of ‘Ben’s’ friends…which puts ‘awkward’ on it all…until we discussed it all, laughed and went with ‘fuck it.’

I mean, GOD, life is so short…people can do whatever they want, when they want…I’m single.. It’s great!

But yes, as our little girls played and we treated them…we chatted about everything…like we do. He’s also like a guy best friend…but he’s good because he’s not in ‘friend zone’ at all because he has this ‘spunk’ to him. He chatted about our love lives. He was on a date that night. WE laughed about our singledom..and just had a really good time. He ha this great way of putting me on a pedastal (like boys do)…without deliberately putting me on a pedastal…as he’s not mushy with me at all. It’s all friendly, yet NOT boring boy banter. He doesn’t even hit on me, or come at me like that…just does this thing where i know i’m attracted and I know he thinks i am…lol…YET, if he did, the advantage that he has over other boys, is the fact that he knows… me pretty well already….Like it’s just a text, ‘let’s hang out’ and because he’s already close friend, it’s a ‘Yeah sure, when?’ And he’s in….But he doesn’t come at me like that…

(Ewww…Junior’s just handed me a fresh bogie.)

Anyway, our Mother’s made an entrance, his by text, my via real life show ups..and like us, our little girls went home happy.

It was great!

I’m gonna do drinks with Tony. He’s uplifting. He’s great fun and actually by accident gave me great advice…we see things the same way.


I’ve had some really great times with Tony…he’s awesome. It’s been awful to feel like we couldn’t hang out because of the ‘Ben thing,’ but i’m glad we’ve gone with ‘fuck it.’ It means we’re grown ups! 🙂

Life is good!







Girl Gods, Changes, Suits & Guys…


Happy Weekend you little puddings! I haven’t had an entire weekend off in what feels like ages, so right now i couldn’t be happier…

I get to spend extra ‘much needed’ time with the bambinos and I get to wake up on a Saturday morning and just chill for a bit, before we all get out and about…as i’m naturally an ‘out and abouter.’ I’m a kitten who prefers to do things, than do nothing at all, unless i’m shattered or hungover. It’s important to make the most of your 100 years on the planet. It’s not necessarily about ‘doing things,’ (i’ve done a lot of ‘things’ but only because it’s what I chose to do) and more about keeping yourself happy, chipper, smiling…I mean, God, you could chill all day, every day and if that makes you glisten…then that’s all that matters. Often people forget to remember that all folk are different and I know that sounds fundamental…yet i hate it when others try and mould beings or label beings…instead of embracing their differences…and looking for the sliver lining. It happens a lot in relationships right? I moaned (yet was secretly delighted) that one of my good, good LA guy friends woke up in Japan two days ago and then Bali this morning…yet it’s only because i’m a ‘doer’ and it makes me feel excitedly jealous, but proud of him for doing life! I mean, he loves his life…yet can’t wait to settle down, be married, do forever love, have a million children live and stabley ever after. I guess, it’s all about balance.

I can tell i’m getting nervous for all the changes that i’m about to go through. I’m secretly getting stressed and i know that as i’m finding more and more things to stress about, instead of staying calm. I cant just chill in these moments, i always do the worst and try and challenge myself with ‘lots more to do’ to try and ‘victory’ it. It’s scary, but exciting all at the same time. New chapter. Great chapter. But you can’t get ahead in life, if you don’t constantly change or develop…and enjoy it.

I just feel like i have sooo much to do, so much to organize and no time to organize it in. I’m just stressing and using stress because i’m nervous. I should have a morning mojito. I’m sure they do that somewhere in the world? I enjoy how Jennn and I had to perform a  ‘canned alcohol’ compromise at the Ackworth Co op, yesterday after work. The day before she bought ALL the Desperados! All of them. Lol. This time, we went together and we negotiated our booze in a can buys.

‘Right, i’ll buy two of these, and you can buy two of those.’

‘Ooooh, they’ve stocked them up!’  Lol

It’s always the little moments that i remember…they make up life..don’t they? I’m gonna miss Jen, but i’m spending great little chatty moments with her at work…as from the end of next week…*Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa* Wunna moves it along. (Money making machine. Lol.)

Lee, my favourite policeman and almost guy bestie is still in Barbados…being a brand new hubby. It looks so happy on his pics, which makes me smile. Guys always try to palm off how they really feel about a girl…but you can look in a guys eyes, when he’s on a picture with a girl and tell if he actually fancies her. He’s in love and it’s alive. I like that! But i miss Wunna/Policeman banter and i won’t even get that now…so i’m having a Princess huff. He’s great in these moments when i’m stress. He’s like a giant stress reliever…and knows how to take it from me and frisbee it. Just so you know guys..THAT IS A EXTREMELY WONDERFUL quality, that ALL men should have. Girls want to feel that you have their back, you support them, you KNOW how to make everything right again, you can take away their stress and you know how to make her smile. It is a very important guy quality…that lots of males don’t have! In my last relationship, i got zero support when i needed it the most…because that being (Ben) was too busy throwing his teddy out of his cot and having his own little pity party/stubborn war. It made me dump him because he put his own negativity… before the ‘right thing to do’ morally. And yeah, he’s done the apologizing for all that…and i’ve forgiven him…Yet it doesn’t make me like him as a human and because I would DIE before i did that to someone…as would Lee, as would any of my friends, as would ANY normal human being…and i did tell him that..because I would,  wouldn’t I…But you can’t make excuses, instead of taking responsibility…as that’s girly. Women don’t find that attractive.

So yes, i’m having a family day today, at the same time as doing a whole bunch of paperwork for my next chapter.

I was chatting to ‘suited and booted’ Cloughey for a bit yesterday evening after work. I love Cloughey, he’s just awesome. I can’t help but *heart* him…because he has this addicted personality that you can’t stop being hooked on. He’s funny..but swanky with it.

Guys always look like the more sophisticated version of themselves in a suit, don’t they. I like it. I lot. Again, I did tell him that. He’s a great guy…we did ‘making each other smile.’ It’s a good habit to have. I openly perved on him, in it. But like i said…a girl’s godda doo….

Then i got a message from a guy who asked to take me out, just so he could be on the blog. I’d actually do that and simply because i feel it’s very brave of the guy. Very honest of the guy. I mean, He must be pretty confident with his ‘ooh laa’…as i’d write out exactly what happened…how it happened. He’s not remotely terrified. But I don’t know him at all. Is that part of the adventure…or just silly? (Victoria?)

Just so you know, I’ve made Girl God Victoria burst my bubble whenever she has to! I get lost in swirls and she knows how to keep it real through being much wiser than I! Hahah. Although direct, sassy and fun…she’s also polite, so sometimes doesn’t like to bubble burst. Last night…i demanded she POP IT…whenever necessary. 🙂

(Junior is currently bushing m weave as we chat..well as I blog.)

Chris from Happn sent me a message. He’s impressed with my blog. I like boys who like the blog. He’s actually extremely lovely…because out of all the Happn guys ever, he’s just so honest and easy to chat to…like i said, happy…normal…London and great! Lol. I like that!! He did say that i’m ‘out of the leagues of most guys, i date.. including himself,’ and that is really polite and very flattering. Thank you, Chris!! But am I? I’m just a chick, looking for love, who’ll one day find it, like billions of others..which unfortunately makes me pretty regular! *Weeps.* But i like Chris from Happn. I don’t know why i keep hearing ‘out of my league.’ And i don’t mean it egotistically, as i promise that i hear it a lot…it’s like going to a job interview and they tell you that you’re over qualified. It’s not fun. Or men are less confident? I don’t know? But very sweet nonetheless.

Daz still gave an ‘Oi.’ More than an ‘Oi’, but i had already gone to bed. Lol.

Then another gent sent me a message, who i don’t know at all…and have probably only reply messaged…once? And that was with a ‘Thank you,’ because he said something lovely to me. Very kind. Yet it was really bizarre, as he seems to think that he’s ‘Cloughey’ in my blog?? And I mean it in the sense that he believes that I’m using the nickname ‘Cloughey’ for HIM? I’m so confused? Lol. I do use nicknames for people…for fun, to hide their identity or just because I want toooo. Yet, surely each person i talk about (even i they are under a guise) would know that it was them or not, due to the chatter or experiences that they’ve directly shared with me, right? I’m soooooooo confused??? Haha.

But incase you’re not from Pontefract and wouldn’t know…everyone i’m talking about is a REAL PERSON, yes. It is a true like documentation of my life and not a fabricated blog. I refer to Cloughey….as ‘Cloughey’ because that’s what everyone calls him..and his last name is ‘Clough.’ Lol. (I can’t believe i’m having to explain this? Lol. So odd. ) He’s a real life human and everything…that has crossed paths with Wunna land, via recent forest banter. (I knew OF him before that.)

So just to get the glitzy record straight…I’ll usually refer to a being…in a manner that will make sense to me, or them..or any experiences that we have shared. OR it could just be their actual name. Lol.

Glad to get that sorted! I’m gonna need that mojito now.

Have an awesome Saturday!

(Oh and thank you to everyone reading the blog, as it’s still read on every single continent…in 187 different countries of the world and translated into 40 different languages daily…Cheers! *Wiggle, wink*)










Hatfield Dental Care


I’m sooo incredibly excited because this time next week I will be travelling to Doncaster to visit the most amazing dental care specialist Afsar Hussain for a delicious round of first class teeth whitening and my first EVER shot at botox. (I’m getting old and i can see it, i can feel it. I’m Hollywood raised, so my vanity gets the better of me. Yes, Victoria..I know.. Lol.)

Anyway, I already went for my consultation (remember) and Afsar couldn’t be more delightful. There’s this calming, yet dynamic dash to him and for someone as vain as moi, these procedures are a BIG DEAL, meaning that I would ONLY ever go to a specialist who i KNEW offered the finest quality of care and was one of THE BEST at what he does…and he is!


I immediately felt looked after, I can’t wait to see him next Friday and well i just KNOW that i’ll walk out of his practice feeling over the moon! 🙂 I mean, in my mind you have to be really careful as to who you choose to do your botox, fillers, teeth whitening… there are a lot of ‘not properly qualified’ darlings out there, who will botch it up and have you end up in Princess tears or living under a bridge like a hibble hobble witch. 🙂

You need to trust your specialist…hence why i’m letting you know about mine! He is AMAZING and i’ve lived and experienced all kinds of procedures everywhere, all across the lands…even LA…I even come from a medical family, so when it comes to health safety, something that is vital to me, I know where to look and Afsar at Hatfield Dental care is literally THE BEST!

His practice is modern, swanky and of course exquisitely clean, he is my first choice or dental care and cosmetic enhancements…and I cannot WAIT to take you on my journey, as your invited to see the whole thing happen! Lucky you!! Honestly, he offers the most professional service…AND let’s you take selfies! 🙂 Hahaha. Take a look at his website…follow Hatfield Dental care on Twitter, ‘Like’ them on facebook. Go for it!

This time next week! 🙂 I’ll look ten years younger! He’s a great guy really knowledgeable, honest, reliable and calming, he is utterly professional and so incredibly intelligent and creative! I’ve known Afsar since he was very young…I went to school with him…as did Pete, Ruby’s Dad…So it is amazing to see him do so well and support him massively in his career life choice!) Where else would you go!

Friday Feelings and Boy options..


Hey, my delightful licks of deliciousness! How’s ya Friday feeling?? Can you smell the weekend seducing you? Is it tickling at your toes? Or are you already in a beer garden, making people at work (like moi) very jealous! 🙂 *Hair toss, hip bump.*

Y’know, when you need 2 nights of early nights…that’s what I need. I’m soooooooooooooooooo tired. Lol. I just want a holiday and to be out in the forest, the luxury of woodland hot tubbing, with a champers and in ultimate peace! And even though i’m having a ‘fat day’ (i do feel chubby and old today,) I’m wistfully craving the finer things in life….which as we know is something that I ADORE. There’s nothing like a touch of class, a dazzle of luxury…a bit of ‘ooh laa.’

Anyway, y’know how i told you that my inbox decided to be quiet and the world was at one again…IT GOT BUSY…and really late, so my little kitten eyes couldn’t handle it. I’m tired. Now, i’m not sure if it was because all guys decided to be up late last night, or because they had seen my ‘cocktail in a can’ picture…but again…they went for it!

I spoke to Cloughey…he’s always lovely and has just got back from drinks by a local river, after a day of suit buying. (I told him that i had stalked his pictures…and I had. 🙂 I mean, t’s what we all do…you’re not human, if you’re not stalking people’s photos.. 🙂 Unfortunately, i’m stupid enough to tell him. *Cringe.*

My old school friend and Mayfair ‘hangerouter’ popped by my cyberland space to say ‘hello,’ as he can’t possibly believe that i haven’t found a man to take care of me and my little ones. ‘Ponte Daz’…went for it. Now, he’s been going for it for the last week…and opposite to most…he has taking the very brave and very forward approach. He’s not terrified of me at all. He’s juiced! However…his forwardness did infact terrify me at first…Lol…well not terrify me, it just made me think that all he wanted was to bone me and that was it, his agenda, his hoopla! It seems now…that underneath all that and if I look passed the ‘show’ and the bravado…he actually likes me…and would potentially wish for more. (Yet, in m mind, i’m just very aware that he’s just suffered a heartbreak..and i think he needs to heal from that before he bedsurfs…but on the whole great guy. Funny. Not funny like Cloughey, as Cloughey’s a bit more intricate. But more ‘clown like’ slapstick…’high fiving’ funny. Did that make sense?

There were other boys, but i was really too tired to reply. I was ready for bed by then and i couldn’t deal with normal chitter. A guy that i know from years back when i was married to Keiran, who i bump into all the time after work at the supermarket…a couple of others i didn’t know and then Chris from London, who sent me a ‘charm’ on Happn. He’s from London but works back and forth with a client in Leeds…so he’s in and out of Yorkshire…on….trains. He’s newly stepped in to say ‘hi’…and when i say ‘new,’ I mean fresh into Wunna land…by hours! But he’s lovely and NORMAL. Yipppeee! He did think i was an escort at first, which is alarming. Lol. (I am the opposite…you’d ask for a refund.) However, after finding my blog, reading my blog, he labelled me a ‘genius.’

You see, guys can find my blog and read all about me, learn all about me and come at me, with their ‘love game.’ They get revision notes and everything. I don’t get to do that…so it’s totally unfair. *Princess paddy here.* Hahaha. Its much easier not knowing, as i can just be myself. Lol. However, i will say that if a guy hasn’t got to know me personally, or doesn’t know me personally, it puts them at a disadvantage…as they will organize their approach simply on what they are reading…and yes it is ME…it’s all about me…Yet i get to control what you read and what you don’t. 🙂 And not only am i clever (Lol..had to get that in there) but there is a lot more too me that my little bloggy ‘tipper tapper.’

Happy Friday to gorgeous beasts!




Guys, Inboxes & Positive Outlooks

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Morning!! Y’know, my wee kitten body still HURTS from my night out with Danielle last weekend. My calves still kill, i’m that old. I could literally sunbathe or stay in bed for approximately 2.3 weeks. I’m having to drink cocktails in cans, with umbrellas jabbed into them simply to take my *ouchy* mind off the ‘no being cares to massage me’ body.

(Yes, i’m snapchatting. I’m chrissiewunna1. I have no clue who the other ‘Chrissie Wunnas’ are? )

Today, i’m going to attempt to fill my world with silly, yet at the same time be THE BEST version of ME that I can be. Which will just be loud, sarcastic, sassy and shit. I’ll think i’m funny, but i won’t be will I! I’ll just come across as abusive. 🙂 But i’ll get away with, as my charm is immense.

It’s odd how we as human’s always complicate simple things and get defeated by life so quickly… like losers. 🙂 I’ve always been a sexy, ambitious type…and i usually win. 😉 Yet today isn’t about winning…it’s about living, loving and just cutting myself some slack…enjoying…and boy can I do that! I can almost feel the weekend approaching. It is touching distance away. I’m not doing anything crazy this weekend, as i’m saving myself for next weekend and well if anything, i want to spend all my time with my babies. I love nothing more in this entire world, than being ‘Mama.’I have never in my entire life, dated a guy who has been great enough to just let me be ‘Mama,’ so i’ve had to slog my guts out and work like a champion…which i don’t mind. It’s good for you. The time i have with Ruby and Junior is so special to me…they utterly complete my world. I adore my weekends with i never get a full weekend due to work. Plus, Pete (Ruby’s dad) is currently flying to Germany to go on Loretto’s stag do. So, i’m in a way extra lucky. So many Stag do’s this weekend. Cloughey’s on one too.

I’m on a countdown…I only have four more goes and then i’m done and dusted at my current work place. It’s flown by, but time does without you realizing. AND work is much harder when the sun is out. Lol. It takes hardcore discipline, when the ‘off workers’ post as many ‘i’m in a beer garden’ selfies as possible, just to kill you that little more.

Things are pretty calm on the boy front right now…as in my ‘inbox’ isn’t chittering  nonsense or total sense at me. Lol.  That’s not bad, as it’s quality over quantity. I’d rather have good guy, who sweeps me off my feet and let’s me know, that he cares…than hundreds of dick pics and messages from boys who don’t know me, but like boobies, littering my messenger. (Again, i’m flattered. But ‘flattered’ doesn’t mean a date. Lol.)

I’m positive…and on my way up. I’m feeling awesome. I’m keeping my heart open, but head sensible, and my eyes peeled. I’m listening. I’m watching. I’m a chick who concentrates on both action and words. I’m not a game player, so i don’t like things to come too easy or be too hard…just normal and merry is the key. a good pointer. I’m not a puzzle to figure out, just a chick…who’ll adore you, if you’re right and if i’m right for you, it’ll work. Innit.

I’ve finally got a gardener! I need to book a photoshoot. I have an awesome car mechanic..and i’m about to tell you about my AMAZING new dental care and botox specialist! (All in the next blog…)




Dating, Perv Thursday and Love


When your day begins with you standing by Dvd’s of the £2.99 range, whilst looking at your friend Jenna, who is firstly utterly oblivious that you’re looking at her… all tanned, hair tied back, blond and chick like, waiting in a kiosk queue to buy a Lucozade and she doesn’t AT ALL know that there is a BEAST OF A HOT MAN literally stood 4 feet from her…all studly, tall, dark, heroic, muscular and handsome. However then….like i had some kind of slutty ‘Cupid’s arrow,’ she slowly turns her head around and SPIES, the HOT, STUDLY, BEAST OF A MAN…has a good look…has more of a good look…then slowly turns her head back to form…her face notices me on the way (lol) and she pulls a girl face at me…which would suggest that here is a giant, studly, hot beast of a man, 4 foot away from her…Before she has even finished her ‘face pulling,’ I have ALREADY, mimed the words, ‘I KNOOOW’ at her, with utter excitement. And that Ladies and Gentleman, is what we call…’Perv Thursday!’ Boom! Join us! (Boys can do it, so we can tooo!) I appreciate eye candy in general…just to look at. To date…obviously there needs to be a dash of sex appeal, a good heart, a promising  soul, an interesting vibe, a good job… and well…my list in endless…but the main thing…for me…is the connection. That’s not what ‘Perv Thursday’ is about. ‘Perv Thursday’ is about peeking, appreciating and fun! (It’s kinda what guys to to me…instead of realizing that i might be of some actual substance. Lol.) Do know that ‘Perv Wednesday’ also occurred. Lol. Finding a bit of eye candy is a treat for any girl or guy who lives in Pontefract, as is doesn’t happen often. It is NOT LIKE HOLLYWOOD, where everyone is literally GORGEOUS! We treasure those moments of ‘eye candy’ and then listen to Victoria who tells me to move back to LA and find a husband, as i wouldn’t find a good match here, nor would i find a guy ho understood me or loved me the way i want him too. Hahaha. (I love Vic.)

I feel like i’m really busy right now? I’m working a lot, but i do anyway…. It just feels really busy, like i have no time to fit everything in..when really I have more time than usual? I work a great deal and i’m in a transitional period, where i’m changing chapters, jobs and all sorts. It’s scary, but i think i’m just trying to enjoy what i have going on and around me right now…as soon it will all be gone and plonked into a mental memory box. I’m really lucky…and get to wear pinstripes. I actaully had lots of ‘end of the day’ fun with Jenna today, we laughed and joked and moaned about everything, by grass covered bunnies, seeds, giant Connect Four games, and garden furniture. I even bought TWO, not one, BUT TWO flamingo watering cans, because i’m ace.


But even though i’m gonna miss her…it’s great because NEXT WEEKEND, i have my leaving drinks! Nothing is better than wiggling into your next chapter with good hearts, good friends and a cocktail. Things were easy today to be honest…i’m in a weird limbo phase, I found myself glaring at my new friend Chloe’s face as she told me about a guy named ‘Colin’ (I don’t know why that makes me laugh,) who has a massive forehead. Colin, with the massive forehead, wants to take her out on a date…bowling…She hates bowling…It’s not a sexy date is it? It’s not a fun ‘touchy’ romance date is it? It’s a Justin Bieber, early pop video, type of date isn’t it! HAHAH. But not with sexy Justin and instead with ‘Massive Forehead’ Colin. No wonder she wants to buy a sloth and misses her dog, even though it’s viscous?

What’s going on in my love life….Physically…nothing. My sex life is lie a Ferrari..I don’t have one. But i don’t mind it. Lol. I’d rather be safe than sorry. I can’t be arsed wallowing in heartbreak. Even if it’s glamourous. I friend zoned the Doctor, the Sailor…the computer guy…the random Newcastle boy, who i don’t remember? All sorts! I’m a pretty happy being and yes open to a great relationship. I love, love..when it’s the good kind. I love a good person. I mean, a weird thing happened today as i had thought about this sixty something year old, lovely, giant man, who i used to bump into, just on my daily travels. I hadn’t seen him in MONTHS. Last year even. I just remember him being so kind to everyone around him…so generous. Like if he was 20 years younger, he’d be MINE. Anyway, out of the blue, he came into my mind 2 days ago, as i hadn’t seen him in yonks…today…I SAW HIM, like magic…and it was lovely. Gosh, he even gave me a fiver for just being kind! Lol. Yay! AND because i’m kind also…i shared it. 🙂

Anyway, i got diverted…boys, dating, Summer…

My theory, as we all know is that guys don’t settle settle down in Summer…as Summer is about flings, freedom and fun. When it turns to Autumn, they cool it down, their tans get less red, their testosterone levels reduce.. and they start looking for cuddles, warm dinners, good loving and commitment. 🙂

PLUS, guys are terrified of me…and i never ever now why? I’m sure I should have it easy! Lol. I want to be in a swirl of love.



My ‘Brum Brum’ got wheels

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If you’ve been following my Facebook and blog, you’ll know that my car tyre *popped* 2 days ago, whilst i was at the petrol station and hero ‘James from Autoserve’ in Ackworth saved the day, by staying open a little later and sorting my car out for me. I ended up buying two new front tyres and when you’re a girl, you begrudge spending dosh on things like tyres. Well..if you’re a Glamour puss. I mean, GOD, i want to spend that dough on lipgloss, hair extensions or a hotel night at The Crazy Bear, rather than rubber. But i did it…and now i’m all save and wheeled up. James can never do enough for me. I’m sort of an Ackworth girl…everyone in the village knows one another…and James knows that i’m a Bimbo when it comes to shit like tyres.

Walked down to the garage after work…almost with a canned mojito and cocktail umbrella in my hand, until I remembered that i was actually going to pick up my CAR, to DRIVE IT. Hahah. The weather was getting the better of me.

Got there. Paid. Got the car. Then all the staff looked terrified at me, as they knew that i had to reverse my car out of a ‘tricky’ spot…(tricky for ME spot, lol.)

Two guys immediately offered to reverse it for me. HAHAHA. That’s a bad sign. Once guy said, he’d watch and laugh and then so it for me. Lol. But fuck you, i did it! HAHAHA. Yes, i did! I prefer other people to do it for me. Just so you know. There’s a girl role and a boys role and people should stick to their strengths?

However, DO KNOW, that in order for me to achieve this ‘do it,’ I had two humans guide me, another male LIFT AN ENTIRE CHILDREN’S MOTORIZED, POUND A GO, POSTMAN PAT RIDE, up and out the way…a pump was moved, a few tyre mountains..and maybe people! HAHAHA.

But i did it. 🙂 And i didn’t even need a mojito! 🙂

Then i went home to snapchat and do selfies with Ruby…



Everything’s NEW

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Morning!! The sun is out. The sky is blue! We’re all a little sun kisses and it’s certainly a time to enjoy being perky! We’re happy right? Yeah? If not, get to it, as Summer is about fun! An no being wants to have fun with the hermit, who’s pulling glum faces in the dark. Whop out that tanning lotion, get that wink in our strut and enjoy! Life’s too short.

I’m having a blast right now…obviously…you can tell. Work is great. I’m on doss mode, but enjoying my last few days, as i’m going to miss everyone so madly…I don’t even know how i’m going to cope. Y’know, life sometimes replaces you amongst wonderful people, who are there to guide you, love you, or even hurt you…and we’re there to learn from those placements.The same with situations also. And right now, over the last few weeks, i’m in a great place, where my life has been reshuffled and not only have new characters been strutted into my world, to do life by my side…but the old ones have been left by the wayside…if their path no longer is in tune with mine, OR have stuck with me forever..because they made such impact on my last year on this planet. That’s what I have in my current work place…the forever type of beings, who i’ll honestly adore for life, because we’re like a family.

I am switching chapters and it is both happy and sad, yet moving forward and being brave is what matters, if it’s for the best. ‘m great with new chapters, as I ace them with air kisses and struts. But on a personal level, GREAT NEW people have been walked into Wunna land, who i am absolutely adoring and utterly thankful for. I mean, gosh…Victoria…she’s this sassy, sexy, girl god! I don’t know how i’d BE without her laughter and advice. Same with Lisa! She’s nurturing, honest and beautiful…(and loves a prosecco Lol.) Keiran’s walked back in with a whole heart of warmth. (I like there being no fighting. It makes co parenting amazing.) I have GREAT friends..ones that I can not only be honest with, but have my back completely! My LA friends (who i miss madly) are all chatting to me on a daily basis to make sure that i’m okay! (I want to move back there and will do eventually..just not yet. My babies are too little to be Hollywood bratts! 🙂 ) It’s Cinco De Mayo there today…which is awesome but annoying at the same time, as i’m going to miss being Mexican for the day. Any excuse to have a strawberry daiquiri. I’m missing them more and more…but again, we lives so much during that time in my 20s. I mean, GOD Cloughey was trying to make me explain it to him last night and I just didn’t even know where to begin… was like being a little girl from Pontefract…who had just got done studying at the Quaker school…who woke up one Hollywood, married to a soon to be movie star, auditioning for these crazy popular TV shows, (like going to Paramount or Warner Bros studios…and bumping into Jennifer Aniston en route to film friends…was Monday,) doing drinks with Leonardo Di Caprio, snogging Matt Dillion, laughing, crying…working and being plonked in boobie magazines, being hailed as this awesome blogger/model and of course along with excessive partying…just not getting m love life right. I have some CRAZY stories to tell you, but i don’t even know where to begin. It was HONESTLY one big glittery swirl. I’ve been naughty. i was really naughty growing up, as i lived by ‘devil may care.’ But i’m home now and it couldn’t feel better! When I first got home it was all still the same, as i found myself living in a telly box with Paris Hilton and still modelling…the madness never stopped…then out popped RUBY! (And far enough that was still televised by ITV2../ Lol../but i’m an attention whore and to be fair..GOOD AT IT. 🙂 )

Ruby saved my life and i then found balance. Found myself real people, with real love…and began enjoying a really normal, LOVELY existence. I adore my life right now, because it feels as though it’s only just beginning…again! 🙂

I have no clue how Lee the Policeman is doing! Looking at his pics, he’s adoring married life…and i really miss having his big brotherly banter around me…even his disapproving head shakes. *Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa* I wish he would quit being married and just focus on brothering me. LOL. Barbados, my arse! (Hope you’re reading this. 🙂 Weddings are great! I’ve had three…let’s get back to banter with Wunna, Lee!

And Cloughey…I adore Cloughey with every inch of my being right now. Like I said, a really great discovery…we’re chatting and getting along so well…we’re different…but I think he’s funny, sarcastic, sweet natured and smart and although he tip toes round Wunna land nervously…will eventually have a shot, relax and ‘go with it.’ You said you were going with it!! HAHAH. Really wonderful new addition. I love chatting to him…and well it’s great because we can tell each other anything…we’ll have two conversations going on at once…the open Facebook status comment stream…and then the actual ‘messenger’ chitter. We get to live a double banter, as our Facebook comment stream, is all ‘sarcastic bits of doo daa,’ and our messenger chitter is how we really are feeling at the time. Magnificent new addition to my playpen. Everyone i’ve mentioned is!

Anyway, i’m off to wake Ruby up. She has school in an hour and is still in bed.


Last Night, Respect & Boys


Worked all  day, which was fun but oddly difficult, seen as I’m on this utter and complete mode of ‘I only have to do this 7 more times’ doss! I’m silly by nature. Naughty by nature…for humour and innocent, playful kicks…not for the bad of mankind. I’m far too lazy to be evil. It’s takes too much squinting and really…as we know, it totally gives you wrinkles. I’m actually a pretty decent gal, which again shocks people magnificently. LOL. (The package is good. A guy once described me as that, in Hollywood, whilst we were sat in some black car.) However, yes…when it comes to work and when it comes to bowing out gracefully from one chapter and strutting through that glass revolving door, into a new chapter, in pinstripes…your fingers crossed and an excited, yet sassy smile in your eyes…you’ve just got to let your bun out and have some fun for the last few pages. (My boobs are feeling funny? It’s Tuesday night. I’m sat blogging braless on my sofa…and i’m definitely needing a boob top me up. They’ve gone normal after babies.)

Simple day. Fun banter with Chloe about boys. Still have hurting calves from wearing heels all Saturday, meant to be planning a leaving do and thanking God for this Mojito in a can. I’m feeling like i want to prank people, but i can’t. I NEED A MASSAGE. I mean GOD, everyone wants to fly me out to Bermuda and all sorts…but no one wants to treat me to a fricking rub down. Lol. I would literally let anyone, even your pervy Uncle, rub me down at this point. Massages are a Godsend and i used to have them every week. The reason why i find them so sexy is not simply because they are therapeutic…y’know and they keep your blood circulating. BUT when a guy…a guy? Lol. A someone…anyone…(apart from that evil Chinese woman in Camden, London, who broke every bone in my body to calming pan pipe music lol..bitch)…yes…anyway…when a being touches your skin and beings to massage an area of your body, ALL the nerve endings in your body, directly under the palm that is massaging you, come ALIVE! Hoe sexy is that! Hoe? HOW!! You can tell i’m sexually frustrated!! HAHA. I find that exhilarating.

I need that….now.

So yeah, pay for a video message from me, a this, a that, a flight to Bermuda…or just don’t and instead massage me…pronto…and bring a skinny cappuccino with you ‘bitch.’ 🙂 (Private joke.)

It’s life simple pleasures that I enjoy…and diamonds. 😉 I enjoy simple with extravagant luxury. LOl. It’s  tough one.

Got new nails, they’re amazing. Life is good! I spent the evening chatting to Cloughey the evening before last. (I don’t know why people are in a huff about that, as surely we as humans can chitter to anyone we choose? Lol. Well i can anyway. I’m a swine for doing what i think is right for me. But shouldn’t everyone!!! I’m good at listening. But good at taking advice…when i respect the person. If i don’t respect you…i’ll just do my thang…but still politely listen, nod and smile. 🙂 Quite rude actually. HAHAH. That’s how Ben, Keiran…all of them lost their fight with me…when i stopped respecting them….even though i totally respect Keiran now. Yet years have passed. We’re tight now!)

All was well and we were about to plonk cherries on it all..then I drove to the local car garage, Autoserve in Ackworth, (Love James) to get air pumped into my tyre. (He gets that i’m a bimbo when it comes to car knowledge. He respects me for that, with a ‘you’re just a girl’s girl,’ and he gets on with fixing my car. There’s no point in him telling me the car jargon, as i’ll just blank stare him and he knows it.) Anyway, he pumped air into my tyres…I booked to buy two new ones for tomorrow. I realized that i had run out of petrol. I drive to the nearest petrol pump and ‘BOOM,’ with a ‘WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT,’ from a guy.. stood pumping fuel on the other side of life 😉 …my tyre burst!

I ended up having to make Autoserve come get it, love it, nurture it and do me new wheels tomorrow whilst i’m at work…and drop it off. I went to The Angle to have a wine, as I waited for my Mum to pick me up. The Angel’s lovely. I haven’t been there in ages. I must go lunch there sometime. I’m such an ‘Ego’ whore. (As in the restaurant…and not my massive head.)

All my LA friends are making me jealous, as they’re snapchatting their lives at me. They all also have no clue as to why i’m even single? I’m on little news comments, blogs, feeds and radio stations…because i’m single. At least they don’t get why and are blaming it on the UK boys. 🙂 HAHAH. Could be worse!

I know exactly what i’m looking for in a guy and i know when i’ve found it and when i haven’t. And i also believe in not changing a human to fit your ways and letting them be them…you’d love them regardless, right?

Guys are now offering to pay me to take me out on dates? I have an ‘i’m ignoring them’ inbox full. Save your dosh. If i don’t fancy you, i won’t go on one. If i do..then i’ll chat to you about everything and meet up with you when i should. I’m too lazy to chat to a hundred boys at a time. I can’t be arsed. I need a connection and i think i’ve found one? Plus, even though you’re not doing it rudely…i’m not escorty at all. I want to find the man of my dreams here…Innit! You’re meant o come striding in with all Knight like and romantic…not with a boner and a wallet. (Does help though. HAHAA.)

I have the whole weekend off and i can’t wait.

Right, back to bed with the babies…They’re both in mine, after the ‘double bangs’ last night. They’re terrified. I have great kids. Ruby’s a mini me. She’s a tough cookie, but filled with love. Junior’s the playful version of me…he’s soooo kind and filled with laughter. For example, the other day when both Dads brought them into my work…Ruby said, ‘Look at all this stuff that I got Daddy to buy me!!!’ Junior saw me carrying a bunch of breakable things at once and said, ‘Daddy, let’s help her carry them.’ 🙂

Single mummying rocks!







Muffy The Vampire Slayer, Boys, Danielles & Them Macca Bangs


Gosh! I still feel all run down from my Saturday night out with Danielle! Lol. I haven’t been *out, out* like that in what feels like ages. My back kills, i’m tired, my body aches, just from wearing heels. I’m for to old for ‘the party’ now. I’m a veteran. I want peace. I want a massage. I want to lull in a happy calm of delight. I spent my entire Sunday in bed and laid on the sofa, dying….after being sick. But nonetheless, it was sooo great to see Danielle again…I hadn’t seen her in ages. We got far too drunk and ruined everything! Yay! HAHAHA. I even fell down in ‘Biggies’…and when that happens, it’s time to go home. PLUS, we were having such a good old wine time, at The Bridge, chatting about life, boys, how she’s young and living old, how i’m single, old, but being young. How I am definitely ‘Muffy’ the Vampire Slayer…and then I messaged Cloughey.

Danielle had come up with this awful plan to hook me up with her boyfriends friend! I knew I wouldn’t like him before i even met him. Lol. She kept telling me to focus on his eyes…I met him..i didn’t like him. He tried too hard and kept calling me ‘ugly’ and trying to comedy abuse me verbally, like he was a school boy, who went to the gym too much, whilst following up with, ‘i’m just joking…i just know you must not hear it all the time.’ Lol. That doesn’t make you more interesting…it makes me scan the room for other options. HAHAH. 🙂 Danielle’s fault. Lol. I’m not an easy pull anyhow. I’m tricky. Poor sod. It is completely me. (See, how i took the blame now.)

But on the whole…especially after he was aggressively dancing around me…I didn’t go for it.Bless him. HAHA He told Danielle that he was ‘punching above his weight,’ but you know what..i’m sure he’s a lovely guy…in fact, I know he is…but i just do something to boys and they panic..and as a result, end up throwing their own personality out the window and going for what they think will impress me? BIG MISTAKE!!

That night was great. I bumped into Dodge and started crying. We talked about my current boy situation…then Danielle got into a barney with boys…we went home, got home and lived to see another day!

I’ve got work in an hour! (I best get snappy.)

Right now, the Ponte boys are going for it. Everyone’s single…or seems single…and they’re going for it. Which i don’t mind. But I don’t really know these boys that well…so i get nervous, as remember i have this persona that proceeds me. I daren’t even peek at my inbox now for Ponte boy winks. But i’m flattered. I’m talking to one boy right now…and as I always say that boy knows who he is.


I need to get to the forest. I’m dying here. I need peace. I’m trying to book it for the same time that Cloughey goes. It’ll terrorize his peace, but that’s what I do. We’re getting on really well right now.) I loved my bank holiday weekend with the babies. We did E’d Easy diner. Adored each other and lived. I’ve seen both Daddies, with both babies separately…and it was lovely. Might seem odd to on lookers..but it was lovely to be a weird family. I got to hold Victoria marathon medal. I’ve never done that before so it felt amazing…like i had run the goddamn marathon myself. LEE my favourite policeman…has finally tied the knot…he’s in Barbados right now, with his brand new wife, sunning it up….having little policeman babies..whilst WE HERE IN YORKSHIRE ARE HEARING THESE MASSIVE GIANT BANGS, THAT FOR A MOMENT, YESTERDAY EVENING TERRIFIED US ALL!

It’s funny because we were all going about our business…whether you were quietly enjoying a wine, watching porn, tucking the babies back into bed, chilling with friends, on a night out, on a date. Just dong our own thing….away from any other human…and not really feeling too connected to life. THEN IN THAT MOMENT…when the B’BANGS, went and scared us all…every little Yorkshire being, hit *pause* all did the same ‘what the fuck was that. face, or shout…an as one completely and utterly CONNECTED!!!

Then we all went on Facebook…:)

But like I said, I had screaming children during that time, who thought monsters were coming…so i was being all brave. Yet, i figured is that was it, the end of the world…’ah well..’ at least I lived. 🙂

So yeah, regardless, remember to stay connected to people, even when there are no big bangs! 🙂