Hey, Hey, Sailor


So, stuff with the Spanish Doctor is not going well right now. Yesterday was the first day from the first time he met me, that he hasn’t sent me a message, to tell me that he cared. Lol. On my part, the connection because of work and being busy just seems to have dimmed a little..and because of the sex thing…(don’t make a me feel like a piece of butter smeared meat, and like you haven’t had ‘ooh arr’ in a long long time…and charm doesn’t work on me…i’m the best at it) and even though i still give him the benefit of the doubt…9I’d talk to him etc etc…) he’s busy, I’m busy… We couldn’t be arsed to see each other…and he’s going through a few things right now…He also has a dodgy past relationship that really sort of terrified him. So yeah, the light has dimmed  on that..So many changes, good changes are going on…that i’m excited . I’m on a good energy right now. So anybody that i chat to, must be on that energy too!  Yet i’m happy because we still talk in dribs and drabs, he’d make a good friend. But if a connection isn’t right, you just know…and when you know, you need to whop out your mini scissors and snip it. Yet i adore the experience of it. So i’m thankful for that and the fact that it served it’s purpose. I needed that to get back on to feeling appreciated after my last relationship. So, I thank life! Ta! (If you’re not from Yorkshire…it just means ‘Thank you.’)

So, i’m happy being a single pringle. It’s not too bad when you’re..well..me! Hahaha. I love that i just said that! But honestly it’s not. Hahaha. And like i said, i’m being dangled all sorts of love by an inbox of strangers and it’s very flattering, if nothing else. Keeps my ego massive. Keeps me smiling. Keeps me happy. Lol. But i never reply.

Soooooooooooooo, on that note. There’s this guy that i have massively and deliberately neglected over, I’d say about a year and a half, maybe 2? I’ve kinda been in and out of relationships and when i’m taken, i’m taken. But i didn’t ignore this guy because of that, I just get a lot of inboxes and well, he was really persistent, i noticed his message every day..I never messaged back because he lived far away…IN BERMUDA, so i figured it wouldn’t be worth my while…unless things changed…I’m honest to a fault, so i don’t lead people on. If I tell you i like you…i like you. If i don’t…you’ll know. I won’t make the best out of a bad bargain with boys.

But yeah this guy, is 10 years younger than me…. blond and wanting settle down. Again works really hard…makes more financially than the Doctor..(i know, right, look at that work ethic..) every single day for about 2 years, this guy regardless of me being so rude and shunning him, has messaged me, offering a chat, to get to know me, be with me and fly me out to Bermuda for a DATE! I know!! Lol.

Every day… for two years.

Last night, for the first time, i didn’t ignore him and i got the most amazing surprise ever. (I love discoveries.) He’s actually so persistent, adores me, waited all this time for me to just notice him, wants to settle down, alright looking, works hard, wants to spoil me…is aware that we have an age gap, is out in Bermuda making as much money as he can to move back home eventually with ‘pockets full’…He said he’d definitely move here …and after my sort of ‘i just don’t think…’ (and i’ve never taken him seriously until last night) he finally persuaded me to chat to him..

He sent me a message saying,

‘Look, I want to settle down, I’m doing really well, i’m maturer than most, I want you…so are you willing to at least just give it a go? x’

And with that, i decided to get to know him…He sails yachts. A sailing director. He does well…he’s easy on the eye, who am I to be so foolish. Or so picky. He’s actually my Facebook friend, and that is how he found me.

But like i said..we’re began to chat…(However, I do like the fact that he tries to be romantic, does the ‘I want to spoil you and take you out on romantic boat trips.’ He’s young, but he’s trying. I agreed to   Skype with him, when i was free. He’s brave to offer to do a Skype. Unless he’s scared that i’m not a real person, or actually Chrissie Wunna…and needs confirmation.

I don’t have a cerebral connection with this guy…it already doesn’t feel right.


(I’m on Thursday. I don’t know what day you’re on? But yeah..enjoy!)



Sailor boys, Jake, Yorkshire & Sand pits


Good day! Great day! Officially hate sand pits. No being that I will ever decide to ‘tango’ with, will EVER own a sand pit. Awful fricking things! I’ve never cleaning one up again! (JENNA!!!)

Bought sight, laughed hard, felt pretty rebellious today and when i’m rebellious i’m at my finest. I’m silly by nature. Code for ‘foolish.’ It’s a fun way of decorating the word ‘foolish.’ Yet at the same time, sharp as nail. That’s what’s good about me, i’m a dolly bit of everything, in one  jiggly box of magic tricks.

Like I said, I’m on a count down…it’s all getting both exciting and ‘happy/sad’ to be leaving a place, as time seems to be flying. I’m going to be a chipper emotional wreck, but i heart being filled with love and excitement right now, as i strut into a new chapter. Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction, ends up being the biggest step of your life. That’s what i’m going through right now. It’s crazy…but right. It’s scary too!

That ‘Sailor boy’ is showing his age by messaging me almost every ten minutes, about things that someone ten years younger would message me about. I don’t mind ‘all the time,’ it’s the content that makes a difference. The gesture is nice, and i like that he is obviously very attentive. But i don’t know him at all…and even though i’m one to love any guy who is not afraid to take the initiative, grow a pair and ‘Cupid arrow’ at his hearts desire. His age is showing…Lol. I’ve had to tell him off and guide him twice today. But just like that, be immediately took note and went with it.

Incase, you’ve lost track. This is the Yatch sailing, ten years younger, money guy, who wants to fly me to Bermuda for a first date. He’s innocent like a puppy. The Doctor was more mature, but with a his loins on fire. (Evens out to be the same thing really.) I’ve refused to fly to Bermuda for a first date. I’m working. I’m busy. I have the children. I don’t know him well enough at all. He’s persistent..and has been for two years! So, in order to make sure that he has this in the bag and that i KNOW that he’s interested he asked me today if he could fly out to Yorkshire, to go on a first date WITH ME. Yeah…all the way from Bermuda. He’s not even joking. He wouldn’t be back in the UK until September, by then he believes that i may have a boyfriend by then. He doesn’t want to risk it…today he asked if he could fly out here, to go on a date with me.

I mean, I like that he’d do that…and show that he’s willing to put in all the effort he can to have ‘Wunna’ on his arm. I get it. But, it sort of makes me feel bad, as what if he does that and i don’t like him as much as he wants me too??? Well….It’s a big deal. I mean, we’d get along as friends anyway…as i get long with anyone really, even if they’re a plonker. We’d have a great time and i’d make sure he felt comfortable and had a wonderful experience. Yet that’s a very big thing to do, right? Yes, I’m flattered…but i’m not in a *swirl?* But he scores points regardless. I’m not head over heels, as I simply don’t know the guy! But if he does do the above… then i’m impressed…and i like to be impressed don’t i! It makes my eyes *smirk* with sexy and I smile like i’ve won all the prizes in all the land. I’m just a girly girl, so i like to feel impressed by a boy. It makes me blush!

Infact, I once had a guy do that for me before…Jake, in LA, who came to see me from Palm Springs. Let me see if i can find a picture? Wait…

Anyway, I’d been talking to him, om Myspace at the time. Lol. Shows how old i am. I met up with him because he had decided to come to LA to go on a date with me and when he got into the cab, the first thing he said to me, many..many moons ago, was ‘God! You’re even more prettier in person.’ Aww! 🙂 We hung out for a bit and i even went to palm springs. We never dated, but i’m still good friends with Jake to this day. He’s a really great guy and i love good people. I probably should’ve dated Jake  in my 20’s, as he would’ve stabilized me a bit more. But he made HUGE amounts of effort to make sure I knew that he cared. So, this time, i’m not shunning any boy who makes any form of effort. (Provided I fancy them, of course. 🙂 )

I love how i’ve gotten away with so much, amongst the Hollywood boys. I’ve been missing LA so much and wanting to move back. All i’ve done over the past few days is wallow in nostalgia. However, i always say that when you do that, it’s because you don’t have anything ‘going on’ in your present. But i’m over it now. I feel really ‘Yorkshire’ today and i’m loving it. As if a boy once let me set a pitbull on him and smash all this plant pots. Lol. Another let me sell him for a stick of gum to one of Janet Jackson’s backing dancers. Another…well you get my drift. Good times…fond memories…the LA Guys are less sensitive though. They can take an emotional *crack.* I’m still REALLY good friends with them all. It’s hilarious. But like I said, we were in our 20’s back then. Now we’re all nearly 40. Time is a great healer.

Anyway, enough about all that! Work was amazing today! I watched Jenna (who i’m adoring on my last couple weeks, days or whatever,) ‘Boss’ a giant green umbrella with deers on, in the rain! LOL. I actually thought she looked cute with it. But i would wouldn’t. I’m dangerous territory when it comes to taste. Yet she rocked it. I’m gonna miss her. I can’t even talk about all that right now as it makes me ‘totes emosh.’

Again, this is a pre written blog, as i’m waiting for the website to ‘air.’ So i’m on April 28th right now. It’s a Thursday. It’s almost the weekend and it’s Cloughey’s birthday tomorrow.





New Countdowns….


I’m back on a ‘countdown. Not only have I just championed a down count of 10, but I seem to have given myself a few merry days of *Wahoo* and then put myself on another countdown..yet this time it’s the count down into a new chapter and i have 14 more experiences! Deadlines are scary for most, yet sexy for me, as i’ll only work well when i have a deadline, a scare, a rush, or a bit of pressure placed upon me. It’s when i feel like my strongest because i’m sick, mentally ill, dynamic or filed with ‘ooh laa.’ It keeps it’s exciting doesn’t it. Lol. If i love anything, i adore excitement.

Okay, again this is a pre written blog, as so much is happening to me in such a tight space…that you’re missing it all. You’re currently on a delay and i’m swirling madly in a spin of delight! Yet it’s a quick rush, not a calm, slow motion flourish.

Bumped into my gorgeous Girl God Victoria yesterday, at the local supermarket. I literally meet everyone at the supermarket and I only go to the Co Op in Ackworth. Lol. Men, women, friends, everyone. She spotted me and dashed towards to me to fill me on her achievements! I just looked at her, smiled (because she always makes me smile) and laughed out loud because firstly I couldn’t believe that she RAN AN ACTUAL ENTIRE MARATHON at the weekend…(I just drank budget cocktails out of cans) and Secondly, not only did she look really great, she looks SO great for her age…not even for her age….just great…but she offered to show me her medal, that she hadn’t brought to the supermarket, was desperate to know when my blog was back up (ME TOO, I told her that i was being starved of attention,) I chatted to her gorgeous daughter Estelle, who looked at Vicky like she was her idol, (I loved that,) I actually stuttered when i talked to her Estelle, simply because i’m not very censored and we were chatting about my blog and whether she had read it, (‘Erm..yeah, yeah,it’s aaab about my life…’) Lol..meaning that I kept having to swallow all the naughty bits, before they flew out of my mouth at! HAHAH. But most of all, she looked happy and had wine in her basket. Only the good mums, like moi, have booze in their basket. Gimme! Gimme! Made my day! We’ve accidentally created this really great bond! Yay!

Whatelse? So, at work..what i call ‘the little ones’ (the teens) will always chat to me about their love life…mainly boys. Chloe works with me a lot, so i hear it all, and it makes me giggle at how little teen boys are exactly the same as grown up 30 something guys. Lol. Chloe’s really direct and forward with what she thinks, what she says, she’s cheeky..like me and i’m trying my hardest not to corrupt her, but obviously it’s hard. Especially when i’m on a ‘countdown’ and my inner rebel wants to play fool and be a dickhead for fun!

Anyway, I was leaving yesterday and as I threw a bundle of bin bags at a skip…hate bin bags, it’s like a cluster of all the life trash…however the god thing about it is that I find it relieving…y’know the ‘chuck out.’ ‘Baby Nathan’ poked his charming little head around some cage gates, whilst i launched bin bags and said, ‘You’ll only have to do that 14 more times.’ Lol. He does it every day and i love it. He’s literally one of the most wonderful boys! I heart him!

Then i venture inside, as i’m about to leave and ‘Sassy Natalie’ does a ‘Okay then bye..’ at me, for show, lol…followed by a very quick ‘Pssst…Chrissie, I have a problem.’ Now, if you have a problem, i think that you’re going to tell me that you’re pregnant or dying, or you’ve done something horrific that only ‘The Wunna’ wouldn’t judge you for…And I can’t at all tell you what she said, but in that moment, I adored her. I adored her because she was so funny and innocent and beautiful and well…I adored her because she thought of Me, when she needed to whisper some news or find a solution to a..well…can I say ‘boy dilema?’ HAHAHAH. Everyone comes to me for boy advice and i find it funny, as I’m shit at advice, but bundled with loads of boy experience.

14 days left to my new ‘count down. Honestly everything is changing all at once. TENFOLD. It’s crazy that i can’t keep up, so i need my blog more than anything right now.

I’ve booked a shoot, i can’t do anything in nails…i’ve just made scrambled egg and i need to head to work. I’m out this weekend with Danielle, who i’ve missed madly. I can’t wait to see her…as i really do need some fun, drunken girl time.

I don’t want a ‘bubbly’ & souls


It’s important that we never stop doing the little things for people, as sometimes is just the little things that occupy the biggest part of their hearts. That’s what i’m living by today…and intending to ‘do good’ all over the land…I keep getting all these lovely messages from people who say that i’ve inspired them or i’ve done something that has uplifted them, made their life a little better or just made them smile…and that makes me smile. If i enjoy anything it’s making other’s happier. This is also a major fault of mine…as like i said everything is about BALANCE. I’m an entertainer, aren’t I… and even though my persona proceeds me, it’s more about moving another being emotionally…than it is about ME. (But some things are still all about ME. 🙂 All things are all about me. Lol.)

Anyway, the other ‘ME, ME, ME evening, I was chatting to a guy who is a beautiful soul and he messaged me this…..’You’re really kind, i’m glad you see those traits. You made me inhale quite deeply then whilst smiling. xxx’

How lovely is that! He made my eyes smile. It sort of moves me that, from my little kitten sofa, adorning my ‘big hair, don’t care’…in a whirl of glittery magic, I touched another beings soul…(and i always say soul inside of heart..as the word ‘heart’ makes me feel as though things are anatomical..your soul is the magic,) anyway, yes, i touched another being, who was quietly resting across the way, in their own little world of safeness, so different to me, so near but far from me…but thanks to the Gods of technology and the times of change…was inboxing me with a smile.

Anyway away from that. I’m feeling NEW today. I haven’t got long before everything changes so i’m enjoying the transition and *can can* kicking with life. 🙂 I have a ‘new’ on the cards and well i’m so excited for the new, because it plonks me in a better position and yet again another walk of life. I’ve seen many, lived many and the good thing about my life i that is full of worlds, chapters and experience. Might sound simple, but some people aren’t out of their first chapter yet and i’m on Chapter 420. 🙂

But just because i’m looking forward to new, doesn’t mean that i’m not going to miss the old, as the people and my experience there has been invaluable. Just AMAZING. I’m just looking at a text that Jenna sent me that reads,

‘Anyway after watching Life on the Dole, i’ve decided that i’m gonna get to 27 stone, have loads of health issues, go on the dole, get my house paid for and get around£20,000 a year for it! Boom. Life sorted! Time to get fat and ill.’ HAHAHA. Followed by emoji’s of burgers and stuff!

Just so you know Jenna and I are the OPPOSITE to that…we couldn’t work harder if we tried. We work too hard that she doesn’t have time for fun and i don’t have time to be a Gold digger. Lol. I’m going to miss her MADLY.

The Spanish Doctor is still sending me a brief message daily, however he just has a lot going on right now…and things that he needs to get on with and sort out…emotionally and within work. I’ve apparently stirred in these feelings that he didn’t know that he could have? It’s messed him up. Lol. I’m good like that. So, like i said, i’ll hang out with him when we’re both free, but i’m single, and yeah i’m just going to enjoy it! 🙂 What better time to! And i don’t mean share sheets with every male on the planet. I’m too old, i’d put my back out. Plus, it’s not my nature. Remember i have a one track mind. I might get a lot of attention…an inbox full of ‘hey’s’ and a pavement walk of stares…but i’m usually always just talking to ONE guy or NO guy at all..and when that happens that guy always knows who he is.

I’m a really direct person. I dont’ spread myself thininly. I’m a great archer and i’ll pin point what I want..and know. I’m balanced out with a kitten speed. I’m slow, but that’s my inner intellect negotiating it all within me. But at the same time i’m forward moving…In fact so forward moving that if boys don’t sort of *shake* themselves, wake and turn up their treadmill speed up to a more appropriate level, they miss the boat, without even realizing, because in a swirl..i’m gone. That’s what happened with the last one..Unless, you are a fully functioning male, confident, decent human, bold..and all the rest of it….and you have held my attention, you have it right there…and i respect you, fancy you and…you get what i’m saying…then *swoosh* life takes me with it and i’m gone.

Shit, i’ve got to get to work and i wanted to tell you all about Chloe’s stories and the fact that he she keeps offering me ‘bubbly gum?’ HAHAH. I’m not 7. I don’t need a bubbly gum, to get through life, I need a goddamn tequila shot and a glitzy pink stabbing sword.  Lol. Fucking bubbly gum….





Happn Fears & What I want from a Guy


‘Happn,’ is driving me nuts. I’m already having to maybe delete it  and it’s the only dating site that i’m flipping on!! I’m doomed. If you don’t know what it is, it’s a dating site that finds the people that you’ve immediately crossed paths with, helping you to find singles within a 200m radius! In Pontefract, there really are rubbish options. Firstly not that many are really bothered about ‘Happn’ as it’s more of a big city bustly thing. In Doncaster there’s better choices, yet i’m always near a train station, so my suitors are usually from somewhere else but about to board the next train to London or something? I can’t love for them running off.

The terrifying thing about it this particular site, is the fact that if someone, a guy, a girl.. likes you they will send you a charm. That’s nice if you like them, but if you don’t you better have your running shoes on, and start legging it, as they could literally be right next to you in the queue, the next store, on the same train as you…I’m too much of a ‘Puss’ to run. I’m in heels.  (I just wanted to take this moment to say WELL DONE TO MY GIRL GOD VICTORIA for running the London Marathon! Her selfies after that run were amazing! No one looks that good after running that far!! She’s hot! And even got her lashes and tan done for the run! HAHAHA. I adore her! What an achievement. I can’t even run away from strangers from a dating site and look good…let alone in booty shorts and on a televised running show.)

But yes, Happn is not being good to me. It’s like my inbox…a Willy Wonka factory of Boners. I mean there’s even TEENAGERS ON THERE and i’m flipping a hundred years old. I don’t date teenagers….on Wednesdays! Or unless i’m drunk at Biggies! Please!

I mean GOD, even Tony (who’s my friend anyway) was on my list of suitors..shirtless!!! Lol. He’s everywhere…on every site going…he’s currently on the *prowl* …even Tinder has run out of ‘girls in his area’ for him to swipe…HAHAHA. It’s actually a shame as he’s a really great guy… I love Tony, but for me, when he’s your best Pontefract suitor…and you know him already….you’re fucked. And I hate to say it, as it will inflate his ego tenfold…but out of my area options…he was actually the best looking one.


Victoria did tell me that I wasn’t going to find the man of my dreams here. Awesome! *Weeps.* Lol.  So like i said, i’m sitting pretty and letting ‘the flow’ of life happen naturally. I’m happy and i’m positiive that happy people find all sorts goodies, treasure…no…that’s pirates and thieves? Anyway, I can’t wait until she gets married..I’ve told her to strut all the way down the isle…and when she gets to the top of the walkway, instead of looking at Guy, (her hubby to be,) she has to pull out her iphone and take a Selfie! HAHAHAHAHA. But on a serious note, she gives me hope! 🙂 🙂 They both do! Would i get married again…to the right guy…YES.

I know what i’m looking for in a man. I say it all the time and it’s funny how boys approach me. I don’t know if they read the blog, or just guess, then act upon what they think i’ll like, instead of just being themselves…but either way….I’ll feel it immediately. (The connection…not goolies.) But it’s about being mentally stimulated and physically attracted to them all at the same time for me. They need to know how to treat the girl that they desire… really well. They need to have loved, not be afraid to love and know what they’re doing! I want them to be sexy, i want them to be smart. I want them to be openly romantic. I want them to work hard. Be a decent human morally and be a great father. And that’s just to list a few bits and bobs…

Right now, i’m just enjoying the present and not fretting about the future. I’m planning for it…but not stressing about it. (I remember telling Lydia to do that…and she didn’t listen. LOL.)

Other than that, Ruby let a strange man ‘window cleaning’ man into the home whilst i was in the kitchen, and asked the Takeway guy to date me. Grannies are currently sat next to me, talking abut periods. Grannies don’t have periods do they??? I need to do foot rubs with Lisa…I love it whenever Lisa comes into my work with her hubby. She’s one of my favourites…and i need to do Prosecco with her. I’ve had a rude looking burger. Look!

And to help you believe in romance…here’s a throwback picture for you…It of the time when i was married to Keiran…and we were on our annual family holiday in the woods….he made an ‘I love you’ sign out of Giant Jenga in the woods, whilst i was 8 months pregnant, hormonal and moody. Then he climbed up an enormous tree to take a photograph of it, so that i could see it later. We’re separated now and we’re both happy…but it’s just a nice memory to have…and it’s the GOOD memories that you need to remember and treasure..as that’s all you’ll have when you’re on your last few year, doing ya knitting on your rocking chair..

Let the Knight Venture…


Feeling sassy today! I’m on my last day of my four days off (remember that I wrote this earlier) and i’ve made sure (after doing such a work stretch) that I pampered myself appropriately. I’ve done babies, boys  and pretty much all sorts. So now it’s me time. I always say that we as people (mainly women) tend to forget to treat ourselves, once in a while. We should do it weekly. Especially Mums. Today, I’ve shopped for dresses, scheduled two nights out, one for this weekend, one for 2 weeks after, I booked myself hair extensions that I have just got done at ‘Talking Heads’ Doncaster and whilst i’m enjoying a quick coffee, whilst I blog, I’ve managed to book in to get my nails done at 2pm. (All before a school run and in a different town to where I live…meaning it’s more of an adventure.)

I was talking about ‘adventure’ with Cloughey last night. I told you, we’ve been chatting lots and like i said, he’s a decent discovery as although we’re quite different, we get along surprisingly well. People’s paths cross at different times deliberately, ( a reason, a season, a lifetime) so for some reason, right now…we’re meant to be chatting about life with one another. We’re both quite good at seeing the ‘good’ in any situation…we’re both open about everything…honest….and that’s all much easier via ‘inbox’, yet the only thing that’s different is the fact that i’m the Queen of ‘skin to the wind’ adventure and he’s very…well as he would say ‘terra firma.’ Lol. I’ll venture off to hotel nights, lavish do daa’s, other worlds countries, beds..all sorts…Lol…at a more than likely at  a moments notice…as he enjoys the comfort and safeness of his own home. I want to be stabilized. He wants to dip his toe into the pool of adventure. And there you have it. He actually said that you sort of ‘create your own prison’ when you aren’t adventurous. See! I enjoy how he words things. Yet, I stated that all madness needed to be punctuated, in order to make sense. This was after I compared him to Mary Poppins and he called referred to me as ‘dark.’ (‘No ones’ ever related me to Poppins before.’ )

Everything’s changing in my world right now and everything’s new. It’s like living a whole new chapter, but actually feeling it. It’s strange, having your world turn completely the other way around for the better, or for a different *peek* at existence, yet i’m used to it and love it. I can shimmie it off with a wink and champion it with a ‘Hooray.’

The babies are doing well. They’re excited for my new beginnings (oh i have a new line of work coming up) as it gives me more time with them…and well last night was gorgeous as both children, separately came up to me before bed…kissed me and well Junior gave me a red heart that he made out of Playdoh and told me that he loved me….then Ruby gave me a bundle of bluebells that she had picked for me, after sticking a ‘smiley face’ sticker over my heart to make sure i was happy. It’s moments like that, even though they fight and tantrum…that let me know that i’m doing a good job. They are the most loving babies ever. So if i haven’t taught them much, i’ve taught them all about the art of love, being loved and showing love. BINGO! (Oh and how to ADORE Mummy, appropriately! 😉 ) I’m good like that with other beings. Whether you like or loathed me…you know to treat me, because i have given you that memo.

Other than all that… i’ve had a big clean out at home and enjoyed it. I kept the children. 😉 Yet, I also kept finding neckties all over my bedroom floor? I have no clue? I really don’t know? There was a grey one, a black one, a blue one??? And I’m not that lucky in love to have had so many ‘suits’ pass it. Lol. Lord knows who’s been in there? As the can’t be Ben’s? He was always in his hoodie. 🙂 But i’m giving them away, after i’ve shot in them for lifestyle pictures.

I’m feeling happy to be single today. My inbox is full of boys just trying to chatter. I’m being offered love, sex, friendships, willies, kindness, even plane tickets to Bermuda (I know.)   It kinda makes me feel empowered…even though i don’t really chat back, unless i know them. It’s important to enjoy being single, even though you, believe in love. I’m just currently sitting confidentially knowing that he’ll find me. He’ll come get me…I’m not one to complicate love like others…i enjoy the simplicity of it. If a guy truly desires you…he’ll find a way to make you his. If he doesn’t…he’s not that bothered. It’s how they are made.

(The Doctor hasn’t messaged me today…On Friday he was offering me massages to relax me…today, and after caving for the weekend…nothing. Even the ‘The Bachelor’ was rubbish last night and i’m a huge Juan Pablo fan. All it was, was a Latino boning chicks in a ‘Fantasy Suite’ yet refusing to commit. Lol)

I’m back to working hard soon and well…the good thing about me when it comes to finding Mr.Right, is that I know what I want. It’s all about the connection, yet the other things matter to me also, as i’m not a teen or a lost 20 something anymore…I’m fully grown. It is weird that I haven’t managed to find a ‘match’ in so long…yet like i said…he’ll come…I can feel it.


The Spanish Doc, Sex & Dating Sites


I’m on this crazy blog catch up and it’s killing me! Not having a cyber home to dilly dally my life out onto, means that I’ve bundled up all these juicy life events and emotions, that I know i’m going to have to report and well want to report, yet of course…i’ve not been able to. So bare with me. All i’ve done is keep note, write notes…which if you know how disorganized i am means that all i’ve done is jotted down ‘one words’ here and there, on random bits of anything…even the top wrists of strangers, that will remind me of the event and hopefully *trigger* me back to a moment…the moment. A great deal is actually happening or has happened to me…that now i have an overload of ‘notes’ that I NEED TO SHIMMIE OUT, like luscious greedy eyed…belly dancers…. immediately. *Smash plates here, just because you’re mad. Air kiss afterward.*

I rushed to a coffee shop, armed with a seed parfait, (and of course a couple of dresses that i picked up along the way from Topshop because they were divine and on sale…I even did a backwards run to buy them…a girls goddaa do, what a girls godda do *giggles,*) but yes…I was going mental, but honestly it’s fine. I’ve been writing out my thoughts ready… for the big old blog to get set back up.



(I’m actually knackered right now, because i spent the entire evening not sleeping and instead Googling Shakespeare quotes about flowers and love. Lol. Makes a change from Googling the words ‘leopard print’ or ‘Chrissie Wunna.’ But yes…Bloom and Wild my most favourite flower delivery service in the entire world, and simply because they’re modern yet romantic. You should all be doing it. I mean, what is better than fresh cut flowers that you can arrange yourself!!! It beats the normal, yet still thoughtful bouquet…but yes, they were looking for a quote for their new packaging, so i went online to try and find a delicious one…but i got distracted, randomly obsessed with who i used to call ‘Shake a speare, Sister’ I have no clue why? However, anyway, I then Googled star signs for about an hour. I’m into that, if you didn’t know. I shouldn’t be…but i am. ‘Simple Ben’ used to tell me that it was all a load of pants…Yet, I adore the art of believing that the stars you were born under, may somewhat signify a joyous bundle of personality traits that you, as a delightful sexy human…are made up of. I am like a Dec 19th, Sagittarian Female.)

Anyway, today in my world it’s Sunday April 24th. (That is when i wrote this.) By the time this goes out it probably won’t be at all April. So, ill try and catch you up…

I’ve been chatting to a boy…the ‘new addition’ that has pretty much has placed himself in my mind…constantly. Remember, I have a one track mind, so when i’m focused, I’m focused. I’m not a wishy washy kinda gal, even though i play ‘wishy washy, often. Anyway, I’m amazed by him and find myself messaging him literally every moment that I can, that i have spare that I can find! I even get excited when i see those three ‘message dots’ in a bubble wiggling, which tells me that he’s replying to me. *I KNOW, I KNOW, I’M TRAGIC.* He’s funny, he’s smart…he’s lots of things and has pulled me in. I even told I’m that I owe him a ‘gold star’ simply for being ‘sooooo clever.’ 😉 I’ve definitely romanticized/ glamourised it all in my head…i know this… and i have told him that…HAHA. Yet i can’t help it. I’m like that aren’t I! I’m feisty, i’m sassy, but a chick who wishes upon  stars and dreams of the fairytale. I don’t have it yet..but I WILL once day. To be honest, I think that i’ve managed to adapt myself appropriately to the life that i have lived, the experiences that I’ve had and the way that folk have treated me, the good with the bad. I do it well…and i’m happy, I’m fierce. I’m laughing at life! However, i’ve also noticed that i’m living in some crazy modern day age of dating, which is driving me NUTS. Jesus!

Obviously, It’s a Tinder, Plenty of Fish, world out there, be you 17 or 73 and it’s sooo frustrating.And yeah, i get it, people are busy or don’t get out much to meet others…I’m a busy girl, i work hard…but boys, men, all sorts DO still tinker my path, regardless. I hate online dating, and the stereotypical ‘i’m on a site’ chitter chatter. I’m not on any site but ‘Happn’ and i chose to be on that because I enjoyed the IDEA of the app alerting you when a guy you may like is LITERALLY  crossing life paths with you,…in that exact moment. Some weirdo sent me a charm and i didn’t reply. I sent a Doctor a charm..and he didn’t reply. Lol. (This was yonks ago…it’s not that Doctor.) And well i just don’t go online like that to date, like the rest of my chick friends. Plus, i’m in a different position to them. It all just ends in ‘i’ve blocked you’ or the handsome has ‘signed off,’ anyway. Well that’s what my chick friends tell me. 🙂 What’s sexy about that???  I’m literally stuck in a weird time of ‘dating.’ Nothing seems raw, or romantic or like the fairytale i hope it to be?? I’m panicking a bit. I want to be wooed, cherished, respected and loved. I don’t want someone to send me a cyber charm or score me out of 10, then show me a picture of their willy. *Weeps here.* I’m too old for this shit. HAHA. Just a normal, works hard, amazing, loyal guy, who adores me will do…no ‘charms’…no ‘likes’ no ‘bitch i’ve blocked you.’

As we’re on about dating…

I haven’t talked to the Spanish Doctor in what seems like ages…I came off my 10 days and he came off his busy work week, had family stress and all sorts. I was meant to schedule a date, well a second meet up for the four days that I was off…yet during those days…he had already scheduled himself away to go caving in Wales, with his brother. I got this message..(Wait, let me find it on Whatsapp…?)

Me: ‘So what was it you said you’re doing this weekend?’

Doc: ‘Extreme caving underground in old mines, zip lining and climbing, with falls and jumps, on ropes at 1800ft on Sunday. Then i’m downhill biking on Saturday in North Wales. Wish u were in my arms now. I want to undress you as I kiss ur lips.’

All i did was chill with my babies all weekend, and drink inferior cocktails from a can. (The Pimms one is shit.)  And even though, i internally decided that i’m going to see him again, the initial ‘flush’ of the connection seems to have dimmed a bit for me and i don’t know if it’s because of work and we both haven’t had time, or i’ve gone off him a little…as he seems more insecure about himself now. Lovely being,..but i like brave…or no that’s not what i mean, i enjoy truth…so if you’re not brave…you shouldn’t pretend to be and vice versa.  He’s definitely not as attentive and I’m shattered i wanted time with my children this weekend and go it, so i’m please. However, because i gave him my word.. i was still prepared to see him, regardless..He’s busy and during his free time he wants to feel free and at one with nature. I get that he needs escapism. Yet he’s closed about things now. I mean he still tells me how much he likes me, how beautiful I am and how much he had thought of me daily..without fail and has asked that i see him one evening next week if i’m free. So, i know that he likes me. And when we meet we get on swimmingly. Yet we hardly get to meet, meaning the connection dims and i’m not a little girl like that, they don’t need to be on my doorstep and with me 24/7 by any means. I believe people need freedom to be happy. Yet if you actually liked someone with every inch of your being…the excitement you have for them, doesn’t dim, right? …And i hate saying that, as i adore the *swirl.* And i’m sure that if i visited him again…and I will…i’ll feel the swirl once more. Yet. that ‘swirl’ should remain regardless.

PLUS now, i’m kinda concerned about the ‘sexy’ aspect of it all. Lol. He’s very forward in the sexual department, I don’t know if he pushes it to hide behind, or he’s just a hornball and is excited by me…I’m certainly no prude…we know that. I’m sensual by nature and very in tune with that side of womanhood.Yet,  i’ve got to ‘chemistry’ with someone more before i decide i want to (I was gonna say ‘bone them’ then, HAHA) well have sex with them. I mean God, if i had sex with every boy that told me they were captivated by me, i’d be………well just a dingle, dangle, dirty…. slag. HAHAH. (One boy messaged me yesterday rambling on about me being so fake, nasty and boring because i never replied to him. It started off by him asking me out…I said nothing, he had an entire conversation with himself…lol..got mad with himself and them BLOCKED ME. HAHAHAH. It was a charm to watch. I enjoy the madness of people, it’s literally so interesting to witness all sorts of reactions, when you do absolutely nothing at all. People are hard on themselves and without that guy actually knowing, he sort of accidentally  showed me all his insecurities in one fail swoop. Still didn’t fall for it though. Prick. 🙂 )

But yeah, I don’t know what to do about the Spanish Doctor now? I’ll see him again and i know it’ll be lovely. I’m just not ready to share sheets with him…and i get that he’s hot blooded, I get the Latin temperament. I was married to a Mexican. Lol. (Once.) And i get that he’s clever and knows how to try to seduce me…but so am I…and it doesn’t work. (I’m getting a flash back now of when he *rolled his eyes* because I wanted to talk and he just wanted to snog me, to try and get in my pants. Lol.) I’m much more on the ball than others believe… yet  i’m also schooled in the art of boys and dating. A department that he lacks experience in. So yes, i’ll see him and we’ll have amazing time…but i’m not putting out…and we’ll see how he reacts, as i think with busy’ness and everything else, like a mild distance…issues and all sorts…it’d end up being some kind of relationship where i’d meet him, he’d bone me and then i’d go home. And nothing is so snazzy about that. Wooing me is only good, if you potentially hope to love me…and never works if you’re ONLY trying to get into my frillies. I’m too clever for that. I’ll bite you. But remember he’s not a bad guy…he’s just been through a tough time with a alternate girl previously. I can smell it…







And we’re back up and running! YeeeEEEEeeeeah Baby! *Cocktail chinks here…Conga Lines….Air Kisses…and Pelvic trusts!*

I cannot even tell you how bizarre it’s actually been coming home after a busy work day, or waking up early before the babies have wiggled out of bed and NOT HAVING a blog to write. It’s been awful. Murder, I tells ya! I’ve felt disconnected. Almost burdened with so much Wunna info that I was unable to spew out. I’ve been drinking more, sleeping less and and twiddling my thumbs to the merry sound of life. It’s got me down. (The Queen had a birthday. Prince is died…my Beiber obsession turned mental…all sorts.) I’ve literally been lost without my blog and mainly because i’m a massive attention whore, I enjoy routine, i have this eternal need to express or inspire, my blog is my therapy, it’s kinda the emotionally ’empty out’ as I put it 😉 …babies are made that way also incase you needed a little help…and well…I sort of just enjoy to write. So yeah, having no little piece of rented cyber space, that has my name whopped upon it, has nearly killed me. I did the try to make like Buddha and be patient thing, with it being a virtue n’all… and succeeded to a point, right? 🙂 Yet in the end, I made the executive decision to go berserk, with a ‘fuck it,’ a moan and an ‘i cant handle this.’ But i’m BACK! MwaHaha. ‘LOOK AT ME. READ ABOUT ME. BE ME. ADORE ME. ANYTHING…MEEEEEEEEEEE!’ *Throws you an eyeliner to draw slanty eyes on your face and a bit of old weave.*

I don’t even know where to start? Lots has happened.

I did my 10 day work stretch. Knew I would champion it. I always do. On Day 2, i felt like shit. But by Day 9…even though it was stressful and busy, i just got on with it and did it with a smile on my face, fun with Chloe (who honestly tells me the most strangest stories that have no beginning, middle or end Lol)  and victory ‘karate chopped’ life. I’m unscathed. Untouched. Just Fabulous! In fact now that I’ve diddled the 10 days, it wasn’t so bad. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I enjoyed it, as it was pretty much equivalent to banging my head between a rock and a hard place most of the time…with a stress rash…and a Bimbo smile…Oh and tits. But i did it and in Wunna land, feeling some sense of achievement makes everything all rosy. I have four whole days of NEW, NEW, NEW…FRESH, FRESH, FRESH. I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!!! (But i have news on that, as remember that these are back dated blogs.)

Where to begin?? Okay? Erm..? Keiran and I are getting on well. We’re parenting Junior like pro’s now, even though he told me that he couldn’t pick Junior up from nursery, then picked Junior up from nursery meaning we bumped into each other. I had a rush face. He was all tanned and in short shorts…and we babied Junior in the middle of a car park, as all he wanted was cuddles and kisses from us both. It was actually lovely and it’s great to be getting on with Keiran again. He’s still doing those ‘healing eyes’ at me, which tells me his heart still loves (which is essential for co parenting perfectly, his eyes watched me this time, properly) and well during this time, Keiran was stating that I should probably refrain from dating anyone…like ever. His exact words. I just looked at him and said, ‘I can’t stay single forever!!!’ But he just looked at me like i could and I should lol…then finished off by saying ‘Who says you’re going to be single forever?’ (I think it’s because i made him a sandwich the other day.) Then as he nearly got run over by a girl named ‘Emily,’ (he has that affect on women,) Junior made us stretch an entire industrial (one of those metal spring back ones? Fuck knows? I’m a chick!! Lol) But yeah, Junior made us stretch an entire tape measure across the car park, as far as it would go…as he watched in awe and amazement. So there we were five years on, stood in the middle of a parking lot, in the six o clock evening Summer sunshine…with the full length of a tape measure pulled between us…just because we created a human that we both share and love more than anything in this world. That’s what we have in common. (He still feels for me me. I can tell.)

Then I started talking to ‘Cloughey.’ He’s the new current addition in Wunna land. I’ve been chatting to him lots recently. I never really knew him before so it’s been good to sort of discover him and feel intrigued by him. I am MASSIVELY hooked on Cloughey right now. There’s something about him that’s magnetic…I just find him interesting and I love interesting people. It’s my ‘thang.’ We’ve actually chatted lots and for ages…as i haven’t been sleeping (DON’T TAKE MY BLOG AWAY AGAIN WAZ) and he’s been working nights. So in those moments where it’s not really day, but not really still classed as night…we’ve been chatting and about all sorts…and with this weird honesty and *winks.* He’s been impressing me. Not deliberately. Maybe deliberately? Lol. But nonetheless…the same result has occurred. Interesting guy. I’m intrigued. He’s both ‘global’ and just ‘going with it.’ The fact that he’s shocked that I might bother to have a conversation with him, somewhat worries me, as my persona gets the better of me most for the time. I’m not evil, nor am I the sweetest berry in the pie. I’m fun, sassy, but kind. I’m the kindest sasserilla you’ll ever meet. But I enjoy this boy because he’s positive and open about previously being negative. He’s creative. He writes. He’s clever. He’s smart. Lots of things. But one of our convo’s basically stated that know matter what life decides to throw at you, it’s important to be able to catch it, remold it to your benefit and be able to live….happily…in the most positive way you can…regardless. There is more on him….it is a space that I am watching…He’s a mind Wizard, who wants champagne in the woods. Interesting… Interesting..*works overtime*… Interesting..

Then Lee, my favourite Policeman’s came into my work to see me. He’s all worried now (as am I)  because it’ll be ages now before he gets his almost daily Wunna fix and having no blog to refer to, has moderately disturbed him and a bundle of humans across the globe. I have an inbox full of people asking me what i’m doing, and when i’m going to report it all? I obviously love that! It’s my juice, isn’t it! 😉 I saw him Friday, as i worked and the next time i’ll see him he’ll be married (‘cold feet’ much…hahaha, but for guys it’s much harder to jolly on to the merry sound of ‘COMMITMENT & FOREVER,’ isn’t it? LOL.) We get on really well I told you. He’s like my guy best friend. A watchful, overprotective big brother. A GREAT GUY. A soft soul. We tell each other EVERYTHING. He enjoys making fun of the Spanish Doctor and I enjoy telling him to concentrate on his own life of ‘soon to be’ marital bliss. 🙂 Worked out for Me…EVERY TIME. 🙂 Haha. He’ll come back with a wedding ring itching his finger Lol…the poorest timing and a tshirt tan from Barbados….and might even have made little Policemen babies?

Y’know, Lee’s always been really kind to me. I’ll never forget the whole hospital magazine ting. Ting? Thing! Hold up, I obviously believe i’m in the Carribean!!!  Haha. I heart good people, or people who make an effort to care. Our rapport is good. I’ll miss him loads. Plus, he’s the guy that would protect me from bad things a happening….I like that! He sees it as a guys role naturally and there’s nothing worse to me than a weedy guy who daren’t protect a chick, and i don’t just mean physically. I’m a girl and I may be outspoken and brave…but i’m non confrontational, I don’t make fuss out of nothing either…yet if someone was talking or doing rubbishy things to someone i actually cared about, i’d immediately step in and sort it!!! If anything, i’ve found a really great friend in Lee. Nice surprise life! Cheers! I think i’m just a girl who needs a guy who serves a different purpose in every corner…just in case.

(I’m in Starbucks. The one in Doncaster. It used to be my favourite, as I swear they only used ot hire young, hot, model boys. Now it’s full of girls. Lol. And i’ve just had to clean around the toilet in the ‘LADIES.’ WHAT WOMAN WEES ON THE FUCKING SEAT!!! STOP IT. IT’S MUCKY! {Plus, I have better things to do than tissue up your urine, simply so i can take part in my own piddle. There am I , in my full ‘big hair, don’t care’ and lippy, all over eyelashesd and pouty…wiping up some other ladies wee, privately in a coffee shop loo. Life at thirty five.)