Rushed home…drank 3 cans of gin and tonic, whilst i got ready at the speed of light…literally hair pieces flying everywhere, dress choices being thrown across m bed, gin swigs, tan smears, mirror poses, eyeliner thrusts and social media selfie madness occurred. It was MAD! Then i hit *pause* or a second to admire my mirror image and slowly sip my gin and tonic…AND the madness occured again, until Chloe sent me a text, asking if i was ready, ‘Heeeyyy, are you nearly ready?’ Then i called cab…and strutted out of my home to pick up along the way and get to our leaving do drinks!
It only took minutes and we both looked so glam. I wore ‘House of CB,’ she got ‘Chrissie Wunna’ eyelashed in THEO, in the back of a moving taxi! Lol.
I kept poking her in the eye and her lash kept going wonky, so the taxi driver pulled over, by the Brown Cow, just so i could glue eyelashes on her perfectly! HAHAH. What a great guy! I tipped him for it! (I will get my lash site back up and running soon…i just haven’t had time due to everything being new and changey. It’ll be back shortly.)
We arrived at the The Carleton…Jenna, Lorraine and Florence all arrived at the exact same time, like the party Gods had blessed our timing…there were lots of ‘hi’s’…’you look greats’ and drinking excitement and then we all went to the bar, where i was forced to buy a bottle of wine, instead of a glass…and it all went downhill from there…and downhill in a good way…as I still got gifts, Jenna found a table and I was having the best drunken time of leaving ever…
We chatted, we laughed, we abused each other (well just Danielle who wasn’t even there, it wouldn’t be my leaving do, if we didn’t Bully Dan) and then we DRANK…I even bought four pitchers of cocktails because we couldn’t be arsed to stand up and walk to the bar. I don’t know how i got tipsy, but i did…and i turned from fun to super fun…we all did our own thing, but still chatted amongst. Lydia and Chloe went on the pull, as the place was FULL of male candy. Lydia actually stopped me to ask for advice…and think i just told her to look good, ‘green light’ him and then before i finished my sentence she said, ‘AND GO FOR IT GIRL.’ HAHAHAHA. She’s so well trained.
THEN WE ALL GOT REALLY REALLY DRUNK, GOT TOLD OFF, BUT AT THE SAME TIME i GOT TOLD THAT I WAS A REALLY GOOD CUSTOMER AND THEN WE WERE KINDLY ASKED TO LEAVE AND HAD TO TAXI TO ANOTHER BAR…HAHAH.
We went to Malones! That we still keep calling ‘The Frog & Moose’ and just got more drunk….I don’t even know what happened…but there was lots of smiles, snapchatting, boy talk, Desperado’s and me making everyone play ‘pass the gin.’ No one liked it because they were weird. Then Chloe decided she was off to meet a boy, Lydia decided she was walking her there to hug the boy and then go home. It was already late and others had work in the morning…and the rest of us…went into town. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
We pretty much sang in Brett’s car all the way there…I sat next to Nat and selfie’d with her, as Amy sis being fun and drunk in the front. Got into town…did drinks…did dancing…did drinks…then as people headed off home, Ben’s friend ‘Wiggy’ found me on some cobbles, kidnapped me and forced me to go to The Blacky with him…(I don’t like ‘The Blacky’ it’s shit. It’s a hell hole. But ‘Wiggy’s’ fun and super lovely to me..so i went anyway..he would’ve thrown me in if i didn’t, I think he man handled me into the joint… forcefully, whlist trying to put his beanie on my weave.
Then as all my work friends disappeared…or I disappeared…there I was, in a completely different world of folk…People I knew or knew of…but whoa did the tone of the evening change. It was less bubbly and more grey and real. Lol. I was the glitter in that place…and as soon as i walked in, BOOM, Daz (who’s been messaging me quite a lot, because he fancies his chances with ‘the glamour puss’) found me and became my accidental, but great company for the evening.
The thing about Daz is that he’s actually a really great guy. Yet he plays it to me, like he’s not. We’ve actually accidentally become quite good friends because I saw through his ‘ willy silliness’…and well…even though i don’t like him in the way that he wishes me too because he has too much going on emotionally right now and i don’t do one night stands, as i’m far too old and grumpy for them Lol…I actually think that he’s awesome. He makes me laugh…He can tell me anything, he’s really honest, he’s actually quick witty and like I said, really different to Cloughey, as Daz is a ‘damsel in distress’ and all heart broken…so he’s a new good friend! I can help him!! 🙂 He actually found me in The Blacky and we chatted for hours, in person…by accident. We’d talk and talk and then he’d ask me to go home with him..HAHAHA. Then he’d forget and talk and talk…and then remember…and try again. It was funny. AND we were weirdly really popular because we were sat on our own and people kept coming up to him to chat (I didn’t know who they exactly were…but they said ‘Hi Chrissie’ so I must have??’) I wasn’t in the mood for thinking. But yes…lots of people…as Daz put it…’sniffing around me.’
So we’re having fun, just sat down really and chatting…but about everything. Lots of people were out…but we were just on our own nattering away..then out of nowhere Karl (as in ‘Ward’, you won’t know what i’m talking about, if you’re not from Pontefract, I don’t even really know him well..just of him…) anyway, he saunters up…asks me if i’m talking to Cloughey, and I give him the old ‘Chrissie Wunna…yeah, yeah spiel.’ When I don’t know someone well…I just do this weird giddy, showbizzy ‘Wunna spiel.’ I tell him that Cloughey’s a great and been lovely to me and straight away, with a scowl, under his baseball cap, and a look that tells me that I shouldn’t be bothered with such an idiot, he bangs out with a ‘i’ve known Cloughey for years, he’s flipping cheated on every single girlfriend he’s ever had. You don’t know him. He’s a dick.’ Then rambles on for a bit about how much of a bastard he is, before he rambles off to ‘Biggies’…as i’m sat with Daz. Lol.
Now, Cloughey and i aren’t together, we’re not sexing each other up on lonely Tuesday evenings or dating……we’ve just chatted lots…and because we tell each other a great deal, we’ve become close..we’ve built a good rapport..so I actually hold him in my highest regard. I adore him. To me, he’s an amazing guy and we’re so well connected. So, Daz and I were laughing at the fact that Karl would find it upon himself to saunter over, with is ‘swiggedy’ and ‘Biggies’ crew at the ready, just to make sure that i knew Cloughey was a cunt..Hahaa…and specifically with chicks….It was bizarre and douchey, because they’re close, they’ve known each other for ‘donkies.’ But boys are boys…and often they’re like chicks and do dickheady things to each other for…well I don’t know what his reason was? I just thought that they had fallen out. I mean, it’s not like I talk to Karl or even really know him, so it is so weird that he’d be a bastard about me chatting to Clough. Lol. Even Daz laughed and said ‘did he just do that to have something to say to you, or because he just gets off on shit like that to make friends?’
We then just got on with the night…(But I told Cloughey…who text Karl..who just didn’t reply…He didn’t ‘recall it.’ I don’t like disloyalty or douches. Infact, Clough and I have chatted more because of it. I even tried to prank call Clough, but couldn’t because I firstly told him that I was calling back, so he knew…and then spoke immediately as soon as he answered the phone.Lol) Bottom line..don’t be a dickhead…everyone will think you are a dickhead, because of your dickheadary. Don’t make rubbish up for kicks…it makes people not like you…The concept isn’t that wacky.
Anyway, long story short, Daz and I were still sat down, lots of people sauntering up to us, we’re now having a blast, he’s making fun of himself, we’re making fun of each other…and he basically he stated whilst laughing, that I was ‘the worst one night stand ever’ because I kept saying ‘no’ and that I ‘i’m not putting out Daz,’ But he found it funny. I was laughing…but i wasn’t going to…and i didn’t. Lol. HAHAHA.
We both came to the executive decision that I was ‘shit at being a slag’ (my persona is nothing like the real deal…i’m all traditional and want to find the man of dreams…settle down and do forever) and that he was ‘shite at being a player’ because all he wants is to do find true love….with his ex. HAHA. We pissed ourselves laughing.
Daz: ‘This isn’t going to plan?’
Me: ‘Daz, you need to pull yourself together! You’re a mess. No one’s gonna date you, like this. Lol. I couldn’t date you, look at you…you’re pretending to be a player, whilst pining for your ex girlfriend, and crying with a toy meerkat in your arms, because you want to give it to her! You need to sort it out or move forward!!’ HAHAHAHA
Then he nearly cried…showed me how romantic he was by nature…and He IS! I feel really bad for him and i want him to be okay. I think he’s this awesome guy, he’s not my ‘forever guy’ but he’s got his AWESOME personality…that beams through him. He’s funny. I’ve found a really great friend. But yes, he’s is NOT in the right place to date anyone right now.
‘God! Chrissie! I’m sat here with a model and all you’re doing is giving me therapy and deciding if i gay or not?’ HAHAHAH.
We laughed so much. He’s so honest…I like him. Good fun!
Then I got home..and all the old chapter and leaving do bonanza was over…Life turned new.. It was Sunday…the day before i started the next chapter…and i forgot to buy SHOES!