Friday Feelings and Boy options..


Hey, my delightful licks of deliciousness! How’s ya Friday feeling?? Can you smell the weekend seducing you? Is it tickling at your toes? Or are you already in a beer garden, making people at work (like moi) very jealous! 🙂 *Hair toss, hip bump.*

Y’know, when you need 2 nights of early nights…that’s what I need. I’m soooooooooooooooooo tired. Lol. I just want a holiday and to be out in the forest, the luxury of woodland hot tubbing, with a champers and in ultimate peace! And even though i’m having a ‘fat day’ (i do feel chubby and old today,) I’m wistfully craving the finer things in life….which as we know is something that I ADORE. There’s nothing like a touch of class, a dazzle of luxury…a bit of ‘ooh laa.’

Anyway, y’know how i told you that my inbox decided to be quiet and the world was at one again…IT GOT BUSY…and really late, so my little kitten eyes couldn’t handle it. I’m tired. Now, i’m not sure if it was because all guys decided to be up late last night, or because they had seen my ‘cocktail in a can’ picture…but again…they went for it!

I spoke to Cloughey…he’s always lovely and has just got back from drinks by a local river, after a day of suit buying. (I told him that i had stalked his pictures…and I had. 🙂 I mean, t’s what we all do…you’re not human, if you’re not stalking people’s photos.. 🙂 Unfortunately, i’m stupid enough to tell him. *Cringe.*

My old school friend and Mayfair ‘hangerouter’ popped by my cyberland space to say ‘hello,’ as he can’t possibly believe that i haven’t found a man to take care of me and my little ones. ‘Ponte Daz’…went for it. Now, he’s been going for it for the last week…and opposite to most…he has taking the very brave and very forward approach. He’s not terrified of me at all. He’s juiced! However…his forwardness did infact terrify me at first…Lol…well not terrify me, it just made me think that all he wanted was to bone me and that was it, his agenda, his hoopla! It seems now…that underneath all that and if I look passed the ‘show’ and the bravado…he actually likes me…and would potentially wish for more. (Yet, in m mind, i’m just very aware that he’s just suffered a heartbreak..and i think he needs to heal from that before he bedsurfs…but on the whole great guy. Funny. Not funny like Cloughey, as Cloughey’s a bit more intricate. But more ‘clown like’ slapstick…’high fiving’ funny. Did that make sense?

There were other boys, but i was really too tired to reply. I was ready for bed by then and i couldn’t deal with normal chitter. A guy that i know from years back when i was married to Keiran, who i bump into all the time after work at the supermarket…a couple of others i didn’t know and then Chris from London, who sent me a ‘charm’ on Happn. He’s from London but works back and forth with a client in Leeds…so he’s in and out of Yorkshire…on….trains. He’s newly stepped in to say ‘hi’…and when i say ‘new,’ I mean fresh into Wunna land…by hours! But he’s lovely and NORMAL. Yipppeee! He did think i was an escort at first, which is alarming. Lol. (I am the opposite…you’d ask for a refund.) However, after finding my blog, reading my blog, he labelled me a ‘genius.’

You see, guys can find my blog and read all about me, learn all about me and come at me, with their ‘love game.’ They get revision notes and everything. I don’t get to do that…so it’s totally unfair. *Princess paddy here.* Hahaha. Its much easier not knowing, as i can just be myself. Lol. However, i will say that if a guy hasn’t got to know me personally, or doesn’t know me personally, it puts them at a disadvantage…as they will organize their approach simply on what they are reading…and yes it is ME…it’s all about me…Yet i get to control what you read and what you don’t. 🙂 And not only am i clever (Lol..had to get that in there) but there is a lot more too me that my little bloggy ‘tipper tapper.’

Happy Friday to gorgeous beasts!




Guys, Inboxes & Positive Outlooks

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Morning!! Y’know, my wee kitten body still HURTS from my night out with Danielle last weekend. My calves still kill, i’m that old. I could literally sunbathe or stay in bed for approximately 2.3 weeks. I’m having to drink cocktails in cans, with umbrellas jabbed into them simply to take my *ouchy* mind off the ‘no being cares to massage me’ body.

(Yes, i’m snapchatting. I’m chrissiewunna1. I have no clue who the other ‘Chrissie Wunnas’ are? )

Today, i’m going to attempt to fill my world with silly, yet at the same time be THE BEST version of ME that I can be. Which will just be loud, sarcastic, sassy and shit. I’ll think i’m funny, but i won’t be will I! I’ll just come across as abusive. 🙂 But i’ll get away with, as my charm is immense.

It’s odd how we as human’s always complicate simple things and get defeated by life so quickly… like losers. 🙂 I’ve always been a sexy, ambitious type…and i usually win. 😉 Yet today isn’t about winning…it’s about living, loving and just cutting myself some slack…enjoying…and boy can I do that! I can almost feel the weekend approaching. It is touching distance away. I’m not doing anything crazy this weekend, as i’m saving myself for next weekend and well if anything, i want to spend all my time with my babies. I love nothing more in this entire world, than being ‘Mama.’I have never in my entire life, dated a guy who has been great enough to just let me be ‘Mama,’ so i’ve had to slog my guts out and work like a champion…which i don’t mind. It’s good for you. The time i have with Ruby and Junior is so special to me…they utterly complete my world. I adore my weekends with i never get a full weekend due to work. Plus, Pete (Ruby’s dad) is currently flying to Germany to go on Loretto’s stag do. So, i’m in a way extra lucky. So many Stag do’s this weekend. Cloughey’s on one too.

I’m on a countdown…I only have four more goes and then i’m done and dusted at my current work place. It’s flown by, but time does without you realizing. AND work is much harder when the sun is out. Lol. It takes hardcore discipline, when the ‘off workers’ post as many ‘i’m in a beer garden’ selfies as possible, just to kill you that little more.

Things are pretty calm on the boy front right now…as in my ‘inbox’ isn’t chittering  nonsense or total sense at me. Lol.  That’s not bad, as it’s quality over quantity. I’d rather have good guy, who sweeps me off my feet and let’s me know, that he cares…than hundreds of dick pics and messages from boys who don’t know me, but like boobies, littering my messenger. (Again, i’m flattered. But ‘flattered’ doesn’t mean a date. Lol.)

I’m positive…and on my way up. I’m feeling awesome. I’m keeping my heart open, but head sensible, and my eyes peeled. I’m listening. I’m watching. I’m a chick who concentrates on both action and words. I’m not a game player, so i don’t like things to come too easy or be too hard…just normal and merry is the key. a good pointer. I’m not a puzzle to figure out, just a chick…who’ll adore you, if you’re right and if i’m right for you, it’ll work. Innit.

I’ve finally got a gardener! I need to book a photoshoot. I have an awesome car mechanic..and i’m about to tell you about my AMAZING new dental care and botox specialist! (All in the next blog…)




Dating, Perv Thursday and Love


When your day begins with you standing by Dvd’s of the £2.99 range, whilst looking at your friend Jenna, who is firstly utterly oblivious that you’re looking at her… all tanned, hair tied back, blond and chick like, waiting in a kiosk queue to buy a Lucozade and she doesn’t AT ALL know that there is a BEAST OF A HOT MAN literally stood 4 feet from her…all studly, tall, dark, heroic, muscular and handsome. However then….like i had some kind of slutty ‘Cupid’s arrow,’ she slowly turns her head around and SPIES, the HOT, STUDLY, BEAST OF A MAN…has a good look…has more of a good look…then slowly turns her head back to form…her face notices me on the way (lol) and she pulls a girl face at me…which would suggest that here is a giant, studly, hot beast of a man, 4 foot away from her…Before she has even finished her ‘face pulling,’ I have ALREADY, mimed the words, ‘I KNOOOW’ at her, with utter excitement. And that Ladies and Gentleman, is what we call…’Perv Thursday!’ Boom! Join us! (Boys can do it, so we can tooo!) I appreciate eye candy in general…just to look at. To date…obviously there needs to be a dash of sex appeal, a good heart, a promising  soul, an interesting vibe, a good job… and well…my list in endless…but the main thing…for me…is the connection. That’s not what ‘Perv Thursday’ is about. ‘Perv Thursday’ is about peeking, appreciating and fun! (It’s kinda what guys to to me…instead of realizing that i might be of some actual substance. Lol.) Do know that ‘Perv Wednesday’ also occurred. Lol. Finding a bit of eye candy is a treat for any girl or guy who lives in Pontefract, as is doesn’t happen often. It is NOT LIKE HOLLYWOOD, where everyone is literally GORGEOUS! We treasure those moments of ‘eye candy’ and then listen to Victoria who tells me to move back to LA and find a husband, as i wouldn’t find a good match here, nor would i find a guy ho understood me or loved me the way i want him too. Hahaha. (I love Vic.)

I feel like i’m really busy right now? I’m working a lot, but i do anyway…. It just feels really busy, like i have no time to fit everything in..when really I have more time than usual? I work a great deal and i’m in a transitional period, where i’m changing chapters, jobs and all sorts. It’s scary, but i think i’m just trying to enjoy what i have going on and around me right now…as soon it will all be gone and plonked into a mental memory box. I’m really lucky…and get to wear pinstripes. I actaully had lots of ‘end of the day’ fun with Jenna today, we laughed and joked and moaned about everything, by grass covered bunnies, seeds, giant Connect Four games, and garden furniture. I even bought TWO, not one, BUT TWO flamingo watering cans, because i’m ace.


But even though i’m gonna miss her…it’s great because NEXT WEEKEND, i have my leaving drinks! Nothing is better than wiggling into your next chapter with good hearts, good friends and a cocktail. Things were easy today to be honest…i’m in a weird limbo phase, I found myself glaring at my new friend Chloe’s face as she told me about a guy named ‘Colin’ (I don’t know why that makes me laugh,) who has a massive forehead. Colin, with the massive forehead, wants to take her out on a date…bowling…She hates bowling…It’s not a sexy date is it? It’s not a fun ‘touchy’ romance date is it? It’s a Justin Bieber, early pop video, type of date isn’t it! HAHAH. But not with sexy Justin and instead with ‘Massive Forehead’ Colin. No wonder she wants to buy a sloth and misses her dog, even though it’s viscous?

What’s going on in my love life….Physically…nothing. My sex life is lie a Ferrari..I don’t have one. But i don’t mind it. Lol. I’d rather be safe than sorry. I can’t be arsed wallowing in heartbreak. Even if it’s glamourous. I friend zoned the Doctor, the Sailor…the computer guy…the random Newcastle boy, who i don’t remember? All sorts! I’m a pretty happy being and yes open to a great relationship. I love, love..when it’s the good kind. I love a good person. I mean, a weird thing happened today as i had thought about this sixty something year old, lovely, giant man, who i used to bump into, just on my daily travels. I hadn’t seen him in MONTHS. Last year even. I just remember him being so kind to everyone around him…so generous. Like if he was 20 years younger, he’d be MINE. Anyway, out of the blue, he came into my mind 2 days ago, as i hadn’t seen him in yonks…today…I SAW HIM, like magic…and it was lovely. Gosh, he even gave me a fiver for just being kind! Lol. Yay! AND because i’m kind also…i shared it. 🙂

Anyway, i got diverted…boys, dating, Summer…

My theory, as we all know is that guys don’t settle settle down in Summer…as Summer is about flings, freedom and fun. When it turns to Autumn, they cool it down, their tans get less red, their testosterone levels reduce.. and they start looking for cuddles, warm dinners, good loving and commitment. 🙂

PLUS, guys are terrified of me…and i never ever now why? I’m sure I should have it easy! Lol. I want to be in a swirl of love.



My ‘Brum Brum’ got wheels

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If you’ve been following my Facebook and blog, you’ll know that my car tyre *popped* 2 days ago, whilst i was at the petrol station and hero ‘James from Autoserve’ in Ackworth saved the day, by staying open a little later and sorting my car out for me. I ended up buying two new front tyres and when you’re a girl, you begrudge spending dosh on things like tyres. Well..if you’re a Glamour puss. I mean, GOD, i want to spend that dough on lipgloss, hair extensions or a hotel night at The Crazy Bear, rather than rubber. But i did it…and now i’m all save and wheeled up. James can never do enough for me. I’m sort of an Ackworth girl…everyone in the village knows one another…and James knows that i’m a Bimbo when it comes to shit like tyres.

Walked down to the garage after work…almost with a canned mojito and cocktail umbrella in my hand, until I remembered that i was actually going to pick up my CAR, to DRIVE IT. Hahah. The weather was getting the better of me.

Got there. Paid. Got the car. Then all the staff looked terrified at me, as they knew that i had to reverse my car out of a ‘tricky’ spot…(tricky for ME spot, lol.)

Two guys immediately offered to reverse it for me. HAHAHA. That’s a bad sign. Once guy said, he’d watch and laugh and then so it for me. Lol. But fuck you, i did it! HAHAHA. Yes, i did! I prefer other people to do it for me. Just so you know. There’s a girl role and a boys role and people should stick to their strengths?

However, DO KNOW, that in order for me to achieve this ‘do it,’ I had two humans guide me, another male LIFT AN ENTIRE CHILDREN’S MOTORIZED, POUND A GO, POSTMAN PAT RIDE, up and out the way…a pump was moved, a few tyre mountains..and maybe people! HAHAHA.

But i did it. 🙂 And i didn’t even need a mojito! 🙂

Then i went home to snapchat and do selfies with Ruby…



Everything’s NEW

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Morning!! The sun is out. The sky is blue! We’re all a little sun kisses and it’s certainly a time to enjoy being perky! We’re happy right? Yeah? If not, get to it, as Summer is about fun! An no being wants to have fun with the hermit, who’s pulling glum faces in the dark. Whop out that tanning lotion, get that wink in our strut and enjoy! Life’s too short.

I’m having a blast right now…obviously…you can tell. Work is great. I’m on doss mode, but enjoying my last few days, as i’m going to miss everyone so madly…I don’t even know how i’m going to cope. Y’know, life sometimes replaces you amongst wonderful people, who are there to guide you, love you, or even hurt you…and we’re there to learn from those placements.The same with situations also. And right now, over the last few weeks, i’m in a great place, where my life has been reshuffled and not only have new characters been strutted into my world, to do life by my side…but the old ones have been left by the wayside…if their path no longer is in tune with mine, OR have stuck with me forever..because they made such impact on my last year on this planet. That’s what I have in my current work place…the forever type of beings, who i’ll honestly adore for life, because we’re like a family.

I am switching chapters and it is both happy and sad, yet moving forward and being brave is what matters, if it’s for the best. ‘m great with new chapters, as I ace them with air kisses and struts. But on a personal level, GREAT NEW people have been walked into Wunna land, who i am absolutely adoring and utterly thankful for. I mean, gosh…Victoria…she’s this sassy, sexy, girl god! I don’t know how i’d BE without her laughter and advice. Same with Lisa! She’s nurturing, honest and beautiful…(and loves a prosecco Lol.) Keiran’s walked back in with a whole heart of warmth. (I like there being no fighting. It makes co parenting amazing.) I have GREAT friends..ones that I can not only be honest with, but have my back completely! My LA friends (who i miss madly) are all chatting to me on a daily basis to make sure that i’m okay! (I want to move back there and will do eventually..just not yet. My babies are too little to be Hollywood bratts! 🙂 ) It’s Cinco De Mayo there today…which is awesome but annoying at the same time, as i’m going to miss being Mexican for the day. Any excuse to have a strawberry daiquiri. I’m missing them more and more…but again, we lives so much during that time in my 20s. I mean, GOD Cloughey was trying to make me explain it to him last night and I just didn’t even know where to begin… was like being a little girl from Pontefract…who had just got done studying at the Quaker school…who woke up one Hollywood, married to a soon to be movie star, auditioning for these crazy popular TV shows, (like going to Paramount or Warner Bros studios…and bumping into Jennifer Aniston en route to film friends…was Monday,) doing drinks with Leonardo Di Caprio, snogging Matt Dillion, laughing, crying…working and being plonked in boobie magazines, being hailed as this awesome blogger/model and of course along with excessive partying…just not getting m love life right. I have some CRAZY stories to tell you, but i don’t even know where to begin. It was HONESTLY one big glittery swirl. I’ve been naughty. i was really naughty growing up, as i lived by ‘devil may care.’ But i’m home now and it couldn’t feel better! When I first got home it was all still the same, as i found myself living in a telly box with Paris Hilton and still modelling…the madness never stopped…then out popped RUBY! (And far enough that was still televised by ITV2../ Lol../but i’m an attention whore and to be fair..GOOD AT IT. 🙂 )

Ruby saved my life and i then found balance. Found myself real people, with real love…and began enjoying a really normal, LOVELY existence. I adore my life right now, because it feels as though it’s only just beginning…again! 🙂

I have no clue how Lee the Policeman is doing! Looking at his pics, he’s adoring married life…and i really miss having his big brotherly banter around me…even his disapproving head shakes. *Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa* I wish he would quit being married and just focus on brothering me. LOL. Barbados, my arse! (Hope you’re reading this. 🙂 Weddings are great! I’ve had three…let’s get back to banter with Wunna, Lee!

And Cloughey…I adore Cloughey with every inch of my being right now. Like I said, a really great discovery…we’re chatting and getting along so well…we’re different…but I think he’s funny, sarcastic, sweet natured and smart and although he tip toes round Wunna land nervously…will eventually have a shot, relax and ‘go with it.’ You said you were going with it!! HAHAH. Really wonderful new addition. I love chatting to him…and well it’s great because we can tell each other anything…we’ll have two conversations going on at once…the open Facebook status comment stream…and then the actual ‘messenger’ chitter. We get to live a double banter, as our Facebook comment stream, is all ‘sarcastic bits of doo daa,’ and our messenger chitter is how we really are feeling at the time. Magnificent new addition to my playpen. Everyone i’ve mentioned is!

Anyway, i’m off to wake Ruby up. She has school in an hour and is still in bed.


Last Night, Respect & Boys


Worked all  day, which was fun but oddly difficult, seen as I’m on this utter and complete mode of ‘I only have to do this 7 more times’ doss! I’m silly by nature. Naughty by nature…for humour and innocent, playful kicks…not for the bad of mankind. I’m far too lazy to be evil. It’s takes too much squinting and really…as we know, it totally gives you wrinkles. I’m actually a pretty decent gal, which again shocks people magnificently. LOL. (The package is good. A guy once described me as that, in Hollywood, whilst we were sat in some black car.) However, yes…when it comes to work and when it comes to bowing out gracefully from one chapter and strutting through that glass revolving door, into a new chapter, in pinstripes…your fingers crossed and an excited, yet sassy smile in your eyes…you’ve just got to let your bun out and have some fun for the last few pages. (My boobs are feeling funny? It’s Tuesday night. I’m sat blogging braless on my sofa…and i’m definitely needing a boob top me up. They’ve gone normal after babies.)

Simple day. Fun banter with Chloe about boys. Still have hurting calves from wearing heels all Saturday, meant to be planning a leaving do and thanking God for this Mojito in a can. I’m feeling like i want to prank people, but i can’t. I NEED A MASSAGE. I mean GOD, everyone wants to fly me out to Bermuda and all sorts…but no one wants to treat me to a fricking rub down. Lol. I would literally let anyone, even your pervy Uncle, rub me down at this point. Massages are a Godsend and i used to have them every week. The reason why i find them so sexy is not simply because they are therapeutic…y’know and they keep your blood circulating. BUT when a guy…a guy? Lol. A someone…anyone…(apart from that evil Chinese woman in Camden, London, who broke every bone in my body to calming pan pipe music lol..bitch)…yes…anyway…when a being touches your skin and beings to massage an area of your body, ALL the nerve endings in your body, directly under the palm that is massaging you, come ALIVE! Hoe sexy is that! Hoe? HOW!! You can tell i’m sexually frustrated!! HAHA. I find that exhilarating.

I need that….now.

So yeah, pay for a video message from me, a this, a that, a flight to Bermuda…or just don’t and instead massage me…pronto…and bring a skinny cappuccino with you ‘bitch.’ 🙂 (Private joke.)

It’s life simple pleasures that I enjoy…and diamonds. 😉 I enjoy simple with extravagant luxury. LOl. It’s  tough one.

Got new nails, they’re amazing. Life is good! I spent the evening chatting to Cloughey the evening before last. (I don’t know why people are in a huff about that, as surely we as humans can chitter to anyone we choose? Lol. Well i can anyway. I’m a swine for doing what i think is right for me. But shouldn’t everyone!!! I’m good at listening. But good at taking advice…when i respect the person. If i don’t respect you…i’ll just do my thang…but still politely listen, nod and smile. 🙂 Quite rude actually. HAHAH. That’s how Ben, Keiran…all of them lost their fight with me…when i stopped respecting them….even though i totally respect Keiran now. Yet years have passed. We’re tight now!)

All was well and we were about to plonk cherries on it all..then I drove to the local car garage, Autoserve in Ackworth, (Love James) to get air pumped into my tyre. (He gets that i’m a bimbo when it comes to car knowledge. He respects me for that, with a ‘you’re just a girl’s girl,’ and he gets on with fixing my car. There’s no point in him telling me the car jargon, as i’ll just blank stare him and he knows it.) Anyway, he pumped air into my tyres…I booked to buy two new ones for tomorrow. I realized that i had run out of petrol. I drive to the nearest petrol pump and ‘BOOM,’ with a ‘WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT,’ from a guy.. stood pumping fuel on the other side of life 😉 …my tyre burst!

I ended up having to make Autoserve come get it, love it, nurture it and do me new wheels tomorrow whilst i’m at work…and drop it off. I went to The Angle to have a wine, as I waited for my Mum to pick me up. The Angel’s lovely. I haven’t been there in ages. I must go lunch there sometime. I’m such an ‘Ego’ whore. (As in the restaurant…and not my massive head.)

All my LA friends are making me jealous, as they’re snapchatting their lives at me. They all also have no clue as to why i’m even single? I’m on little news comments, blogs, feeds and radio stations…because i’m single. At least they don’t get why and are blaming it on the UK boys. 🙂 HAHAH. Could be worse!

I know exactly what i’m looking for in a guy and i know when i’ve found it and when i haven’t. And i also believe in not changing a human to fit your ways and letting them be them…you’d love them regardless, right?

Guys are now offering to pay me to take me out on dates? I have an ‘i’m ignoring them’ inbox full. Save your dosh. If i don’t fancy you, i won’t go on one. If i do..then i’ll chat to you about everything and meet up with you when i should. I’m too lazy to chat to a hundred boys at a time. I can’t be arsed. I need a connection and i think i’ve found one? Plus, even though you’re not doing it rudely…i’m not escorty at all. I want to find the man of my dreams here…Innit! You’re meant o come striding in with all Knight like and romantic…not with a boner and a wallet. (Does help though. HAHAA.)

I have the whole weekend off and i can’t wait.

Right, back to bed with the babies…They’re both in mine, after the ‘double bangs’ last night. They’re terrified. I have great kids. Ruby’s a mini me. She’s a tough cookie, but filled with love. Junior’s the playful version of me…he’s soooo kind and filled with laughter. For example, the other day when both Dads brought them into my work…Ruby said, ‘Look at all this stuff that I got Daddy to buy me!!!’ Junior saw me carrying a bunch of breakable things at once and said, ‘Daddy, let’s help her carry them.’ 🙂

Single mummying rocks!







Muffy The Vampire Slayer, Boys, Danielles & Them Macca Bangs


Gosh! I still feel all run down from my Saturday night out with Danielle! Lol. I haven’t been *out, out* like that in what feels like ages. My back kills, i’m tired, my body aches, just from wearing heels. I’m for to old for ‘the party’ now. I’m a veteran. I want peace. I want a massage. I want to lull in a happy calm of delight. I spent my entire Sunday in bed and laid on the sofa, dying….after being sick. But nonetheless, it was sooo great to see Danielle again…I hadn’t seen her in ages. We got far too drunk and ruined everything! Yay! HAHAHA. I even fell down in ‘Biggies’…and when that happens, it’s time to go home. PLUS, we were having such a good old wine time, at The Bridge, chatting about life, boys, how she’s young and living old, how i’m single, old, but being young. How I am definitely ‘Muffy’ the Vampire Slayer…and then I messaged Cloughey.

Danielle had come up with this awful plan to hook me up with her boyfriends friend! I knew I wouldn’t like him before i even met him. Lol. She kept telling me to focus on his eyes…I met him..i didn’t like him. He tried too hard and kept calling me ‘ugly’ and trying to comedy abuse me verbally, like he was a school boy, who went to the gym too much, whilst following up with, ‘i’m just joking…i just know you must not hear it all the time.’ Lol. That doesn’t make you more interesting…it makes me scan the room for other options. HAHAH. 🙂 Danielle’s fault. Lol. I’m not an easy pull anyhow. I’m tricky. Poor sod. It is completely me. (See, how i took the blame now.)

But on the whole…especially after he was aggressively dancing around me…I didn’t go for it.Bless him. HAHA He told Danielle that he was ‘punching above his weight,’ but you know what..i’m sure he’s a lovely guy…in fact, I know he is…but i just do something to boys and they panic..and as a result, end up throwing their own personality out the window and going for what they think will impress me? BIG MISTAKE!!

That night was great. I bumped into Dodge and started crying. We talked about my current boy situation…then Danielle got into a barney with boys…we went home, got home and lived to see another day!

I’ve got work in an hour! (I best get snappy.)

Right now, the Ponte boys are going for it. Everyone’s single…or seems single…and they’re going for it. Which i don’t mind. But I don’t really know these boys that well…so i get nervous, as remember i have this persona that proceeds me. I daren’t even peek at my inbox now for Ponte boy winks. But i’m flattered. I’m talking to one boy right now…and as I always say that boy knows who he is.


I need to get to the forest. I’m dying here. I need peace. I’m trying to book it for the same time that Cloughey goes. It’ll terrorize his peace, but that’s what I do. We’re getting on really well right now.) I loved my bank holiday weekend with the babies. We did E’d Easy diner. Adored each other and lived. I’ve seen both Daddies, with both babies separately…and it was lovely. Might seem odd to on lookers..but it was lovely to be a weird family. I got to hold Victoria marathon medal. I’ve never done that before so it felt amazing…like i had run the goddamn marathon myself. LEE my favourite policeman…has finally tied the knot…he’s in Barbados right now, with his brand new wife, sunning it up….having little policeman babies..whilst WE HERE IN YORKSHIRE ARE HEARING THESE MASSIVE GIANT BANGS, THAT FOR A MOMENT, YESTERDAY EVENING TERRIFIED US ALL!

It’s funny because we were all going about our business…whether you were quietly enjoying a wine, watching porn, tucking the babies back into bed, chilling with friends, on a night out, on a date. Just dong our own thing….away from any other human…and not really feeling too connected to life. THEN IN THAT MOMENT…when the B’BANGS, went and scared us all…every little Yorkshire being, hit *pause* all did the same ‘what the fuck was that. face, or shout…an as one completely and utterly CONNECTED!!!

Then we all went on Facebook…:)

But like I said, I had screaming children during that time, who thought monsters were coming…so i was being all brave. Yet, i figured is that was it, the end of the world…’ah well..’ at least I lived. 🙂

So yeah, regardless, remember to stay connected to people, even when there are no big bangs! 🙂


Hey, Hey, Sailor


So, stuff with the Spanish Doctor is not going well right now. Yesterday was the first day from the first time he met me, that he hasn’t sent me a message, to tell me that he cared. Lol. On my part, the connection because of work and being busy just seems to have dimmed a little..and because of the sex thing…(don’t make a me feel like a piece of butter smeared meat, and like you haven’t had ‘ooh arr’ in a long long time…and charm doesn’t work on me…i’m the best at it) and even though i still give him the benefit of the doubt…9I’d talk to him etc etc…) he’s busy, I’m busy… We couldn’t be arsed to see each other…and he’s going through a few things right now…He also has a dodgy past relationship that really sort of terrified him. So yeah, the light has dimmed  on that..So many changes, good changes are going on…that i’m excited . I’m on a good energy right now. So anybody that i chat to, must be on that energy too!  Yet i’m happy because we still talk in dribs and drabs, he’d make a good friend. But if a connection isn’t right, you just know…and when you know, you need to whop out your mini scissors and snip it. Yet i adore the experience of it. So i’m thankful for that and the fact that it served it’s purpose. I needed that to get back on to feeling appreciated after my last relationship. So, I thank life! Ta! (If you’re not from Yorkshire…it just means ‘Thank you.’)

So, i’m happy being a single pringle. It’s not too bad when you’! Hahaha. I love that i just said that! But honestly it’s not. Hahaha. And like i said, i’m being dangled all sorts of love by an inbox of strangers and it’s very flattering, if nothing else. Keeps my ego massive. Keeps me smiling. Keeps me happy. Lol. But i never reply.

Soooooooooooooo, on that note. There’s this guy that i have massively and deliberately neglected over, I’d say about a year and a half, maybe 2? I’ve kinda been in and out of relationships and when i’m taken, i’m taken. But i didn’t ignore this guy because of that, I just get a lot of inboxes and well, he was really persistent, i noticed his message every day..I never messaged back because he lived far away…IN BERMUDA, so i figured it wouldn’t be worth my while…unless things changed…I’m honest to a fault, so i don’t lead people on. If I tell you i like you…i like you. If i don’t…you’ll know. I won’t make the best out of a bad bargain with boys.

But yeah this guy, is 10 years younger than me…. blond and wanting settle down. Again works really hard…makes more financially than the Doctor..(i know, right, look at that work ethic..) every single day for about 2 years, this guy regardless of me being so rude and shunning him, has messaged me, offering a chat, to get to know me, be with me and fly me out to Bermuda for a DATE! I know!! Lol.

Every day… for two years.

Last night, for the first time, i didn’t ignore him and i got the most amazing surprise ever. (I love discoveries.) He’s actually so persistent, adores me, waited all this time for me to just notice him, wants to settle down, alright looking, works hard, wants to spoil me…is aware that we have an age gap, is out in Bermuda making as much money as he can to move back home eventually with ‘pockets full’…He said he’d definitely move here …and after my sort of ‘i just don’t think…’ (and i’ve never taken him seriously until last night) he finally persuaded me to chat to him..

He sent me a message saying,

‘Look, I want to settle down, I’m doing really well, i’m maturer than most, I want you…so are you willing to at least just give it a go? x’

And with that, i decided to get to know him…He sails yachts. A sailing director. He does well…he’s easy on the eye, who am I to be so foolish. Or so picky. He’s actually my Facebook friend, and that is how he found me.

But like i said..we’re began to chat…(However, I do like the fact that he tries to be romantic, does the ‘I want to spoil you and take you out on romantic boat trips.’ He’s young, but he’s trying. I agreed to   Skype with him, when i was free. He’s brave to offer to do a Skype. Unless he’s scared that i’m not a real person, or actually Chrissie Wunna…and needs confirmation.

I don’t have a cerebral connection with this guy…it already doesn’t feel right.


(I’m on Thursday. I don’t know what day you’re on? But yeah..enjoy!)



Sailor boys, Jake, Yorkshire & Sand pits


Good day! Great day! Officially hate sand pits. No being that I will ever decide to ‘tango’ with, will EVER own a sand pit. Awful fricking things! I’ve never cleaning one up again! (JENNA!!!)

Bought sight, laughed hard, felt pretty rebellious today and when i’m rebellious i’m at my finest. I’m silly by nature. Code for ‘foolish.’ It’s a fun way of decorating the word ‘foolish.’ Yet at the same time, sharp as nail. That’s what’s good about me, i’m a dolly bit of everything, in one  jiggly box of magic tricks.

Like I said, I’m on a count down…it’s all getting both exciting and ‘happy/sad’ to be leaving a place, as time seems to be flying. I’m going to be a chipper emotional wreck, but i heart being filled with love and excitement right now, as i strut into a new chapter. Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction, ends up being the biggest step of your life. That’s what i’m going through right now. It’s crazy…but right. It’s scary too!

That ‘Sailor boy’ is showing his age by messaging me almost every ten minutes, about things that someone ten years younger would message me about. I don’t mind ‘all the time,’ it’s the content that makes a difference. The gesture is nice, and i like that he is obviously very attentive. But i don’t know him at all…and even though i’m one to love any guy who is not afraid to take the initiative, grow a pair and ‘Cupid arrow’ at his hearts desire. His age is showing…Lol. I’ve had to tell him off and guide him twice today. But just like that, be immediately took note and went with it.

Incase, you’ve lost track. This is the Yatch sailing, ten years younger, money guy, who wants to fly me to Bermuda for a first date. He’s innocent like a puppy. The Doctor was more mature, but with a his loins on fire. (Evens out to be the same thing really.) I’ve refused to fly to Bermuda for a first date. I’m working. I’m busy. I have the children. I don’t know him well enough at all. He’s persistent..and has been for two years! So, in order to make sure that he has this in the bag and that i KNOW that he’s interested he asked me today if he could fly out to Yorkshire, to go on a first date WITH ME. Yeah…all the way from Bermuda. He’s not even joking. He wouldn’t be back in the UK until September, by then he believes that i may have a boyfriend by then. He doesn’t want to risk it…today he asked if he could fly out here, to go on a date with me.

I mean, I like that he’d do that…and show that he’s willing to put in all the effort he can to have ‘Wunna’ on his arm. I get it. But, it sort of makes me feel bad, as what if he does that and i don’t like him as much as he wants me too??? Well….It’s a big deal. I mean, we’d get along as friends anyway…as i get long with anyone really, even if they’re a plonker. We’d have a great time and i’d make sure he felt comfortable and had a wonderful experience. Yet that’s a very big thing to do, right? Yes, I’m flattered…but i’m not in a *swirl?* But he scores points regardless. I’m not head over heels, as I simply don’t know the guy! But if he does do the above… then i’m impressed…and i like to be impressed don’t i! It makes my eyes *smirk* with sexy and I smile like i’ve won all the prizes in all the land. I’m just a girly girl, so i like to feel impressed by a boy. It makes me blush!

Infact, I once had a guy do that for me before…Jake, in LA, who came to see me from Palm Springs. Let me see if i can find a picture? Wait…

Anyway, I’d been talking to him, om Myspace at the time. Lol. Shows how old i am. I met up with him because he had decided to come to LA to go on a date with me and when he got into the cab, the first thing he said to me, many..many moons ago, was ‘God! You’re even more prettier in person.’ Aww! 🙂 We hung out for a bit and i even went to palm springs. We never dated, but i’m still good friends with Jake to this day. He’s a really great guy and i love good people. I probably should’ve dated Jake  in my 20’s, as he would’ve stabilized me a bit more. But he made HUGE amounts of effort to make sure I knew that he cared. So, this time, i’m not shunning any boy who makes any form of effort. (Provided I fancy them, of course. 🙂 )

I love how i’ve gotten away with so much, amongst the Hollywood boys. I’ve been missing LA so much and wanting to move back. All i’ve done over the past few days is wallow in nostalgia. However, i always say that when you do that, it’s because you don’t have anything ‘going on’ in your present. But i’m over it now. I feel really ‘Yorkshire’ today and i’m loving it. As if a boy once let me set a pitbull on him and smash all this plant pots. Lol. Another let me sell him for a stick of gum to one of Janet Jackson’s backing dancers. Another…well you get my drift. Good times…fond memories…the LA Guys are less sensitive though. They can take an emotional *crack.* I’m still REALLY good friends with them all. It’s hilarious. But like I said, we were in our 20’s back then. Now we’re all nearly 40. Time is a great healer.

Anyway, enough about all that! Work was amazing today! I watched Jenna (who i’m adoring on my last couple weeks, days or whatever,) ‘Boss’ a giant green umbrella with deers on, in the rain! LOL. I actually thought she looked cute with it. But i would wouldn’t. I’m dangerous territory when it comes to taste. Yet she rocked it. I’m gonna miss her. I can’t even talk about all that right now as it makes me ‘totes emosh.’

Again, this is a pre written blog, as i’m waiting for the website to ‘air.’ So i’m on April 28th right now. It’s a Thursday. It’s almost the weekend and it’s Cloughey’s birthday tomorrow.





New Countdowns….


I’m back on a ‘countdown. Not only have I just championed a down count of 10, but I seem to have given myself a few merry days of *Wahoo* and then put myself on another countdown..yet this time it’s the count down into a new chapter and i have 14 more experiences! Deadlines are scary for most, yet sexy for me, as i’ll only work well when i have a deadline, a scare, a rush, or a bit of pressure placed upon me. It’s when i feel like my strongest because i’m sick, mentally ill, dynamic or filed with ‘ooh laa.’ It keeps it’s exciting doesn’t it. Lol. If i love anything, i adore excitement.

Okay, again this is a pre written blog, as so much is happening to me in such a tight space…that you’re missing it all. You’re currently on a delay and i’m swirling madly in a spin of delight! Yet it’s a quick rush, not a calm, slow motion flourish.

Bumped into my gorgeous Girl God Victoria yesterday, at the local supermarket. I literally meet everyone at the supermarket and I only go to the Co Op in Ackworth. Lol. Men, women, friends, everyone. She spotted me and dashed towards to me to fill me on her achievements! I just looked at her, smiled (because she always makes me smile) and laughed out loud because firstly I couldn’t believe that she RAN AN ACTUAL ENTIRE MARATHON at the weekend…(I just drank budget cocktails out of cans) and Secondly, not only did she look really great, she looks SO great for her age…not even for her age….just great…but she offered to show me her medal, that she hadn’t brought to the supermarket, was desperate to know when my blog was back up (ME TOO, I told her that i was being starved of attention,) I chatted to her gorgeous daughter Estelle, who looked at Vicky like she was her idol, (I loved that,) I actually stuttered when i talked to her Estelle, simply because i’m not very censored and we were chatting about my blog and whether she had read it, (‘Erm..yeah, yeah,it’s aaab about my life…’) Lol..meaning that I kept having to swallow all the naughty bits, before they flew out of my mouth at! HAHAH. But most of all, she looked happy and had wine in her basket. Only the good mums, like moi, have booze in their basket. Gimme! Gimme! Made my day! We’ve accidentally created this really great bond! Yay!

Whatelse? So, at work..what i call ‘the little ones’ (the teens) will always chat to me about their love life…mainly boys. Chloe works with me a lot, so i hear it all, and it makes me giggle at how little teen boys are exactly the same as grown up 30 something guys. Lol. Chloe’s really direct and forward with what she thinks, what she says, she’s me and i’m trying my hardest not to corrupt her, but obviously it’s hard. Especially when i’m on a ‘countdown’ and my inner rebel wants to play fool and be a dickhead for fun!

Anyway, I was leaving yesterday and as I threw a bundle of bin bags at a skip…hate bin bags, it’s like a cluster of all the life trash…however the god thing about it is that I find it relieving…y’know the ‘chuck out.’ ‘Baby Nathan’ poked his charming little head around some cage gates, whilst i launched bin bags and said, ‘You’ll only have to do that 14 more times.’ Lol. He does it every day and i love it. He’s literally one of the most wonderful boys! I heart him!

Then i venture inside, as i’m about to leave and ‘Sassy Natalie’ does a ‘Okay then bye..’ at me, for show, lol…followed by a very quick ‘Pssst…Chrissie, I have a problem.’ Now, if you have a problem, i think that you’re going to tell me that you’re pregnant or dying, or you’ve done something horrific that only ‘The Wunna’ wouldn’t judge you for…And I can’t at all tell you what she said, but in that moment, I adored her. I adored her because she was so funny and innocent and beautiful and well…I adored her because she thought of Me, when she needed to whisper some news or find a solution to a..well…can I say ‘boy dilema?’ HAHAHAH. Everyone comes to me for boy advice and i find it funny, as I’m shit at advice, but bundled with loads of boy experience.

14 days left to my new ‘count down. Honestly everything is changing all at once. TENFOLD. It’s crazy that i can’t keep up, so i need my blog more than anything right now.

I’ve booked a shoot, i can’t do anything in nails…i’ve just made scrambled egg and i need to head to work. I’m out this weekend with Danielle, who i’ve missed madly. I can’t wait to see her…as i really do need some fun, drunken girl time.