Twister, Handcuffs & Total Love Refuels

I’ve had the most wonderful Christmas, filled with family, Christmas telly, cocktail sticked sausages & those juicy endless wine pours. The good kinda love..where your heart never gets broken & you’re only a ‘safety net’ away.

I’ve lived in my comfies. I’ve wiggled with my babies. I’ve laughed out loud with the folks and joked with my baby brother.
I’ve been lucky enough to cut away from all the ‘nipple tassled’ swung ‘hoo haa,’ to just FEEL ALIVE, keep shit simple and enjoy being me.
I’ve felt wonderful! It’s really helped me refuel, giggle and find my focus.

It’s been all about the kids and my hearts been filled with utter indescribable joy, just being a part of their ‘Santa’ excitement!! (I was wrapping presents for them, with my Mum at 2am, on Christmas Eve, whilst downing bottles of Corona & sprinkling fucking talc footprints around the house!! Haha!)

YIPPEEE

I’ve loved it. I’m ready. I have a spanking new outlook on life. I’m filled with ‘the happy’ and I’m kinda relieved to say that I’M BACK! (Even though I can’t type for shit on this phone!! Haha!)

I’ll ‘rug sweep’ the fact that I casually got handcuffed to a snack table, by a bin bag, fell over twice, forgot to go on a diet, didn’t find the love of my life, wrapped up in a Mankini, under my tree and decided to be a hermit,!
All that doesn’t matter because I had everything have I needed. I was surrounded by love!

We all all have different versions of Christmas don’t we…and it was really good to have an ‘out of the tinsel’ Insta chat with @bodybagnall. He spent part of Christmas wine drunk, needing attention, and laid on the floor, after building a ‘flat packed’bench and saying goodbye to Unilad. (Where he used to work.)
Me: ‘This is so Dawson’s Creek. Do you even know what that is!?!’

He discussed ‘Ocean drops’ as I watched ‘Torvill & Dean’s’ True story thing, on ITV!
(If I could Ice Skate, I’d be the happiest human alive. But I can’t. So that’s shit!)
I spent the rest of last night moaning at my mum because I wasn’t an Olympic, ice skating champion!! Haha! I’m laughing…but I was actually genuinely pissed off!!)

Me: ‘You’d be prouder of me if I won the olympics!!’
Mum: ‘Haha. Some people birth Olympians, others birth glamour pusses. Pour me a Fanta!’

But yeah, i’ll QUIT rambling! Today’s been great. I feel really lucky. I have an exciting Jan, filled with photo shoots. I’m kinda worried because I have a test shoot on Jan 3rd and I seem to have a beer belly…which is somewhat alarming. I’m not sure how I’m gonna get rid of it in a week…so I can wave that ‘shot’ out the window! Lol FFS!

I love this time of year because you get to clean slate things. I’m gonna be really focused this year and enjoy it. I’m feeling hoood! I mean, GOOD! Haha!
I’m shaking off old cobwebs that I wasted far too much attention on. It’s a lesson, I can’t stop learning…and because of that, this year, you’ll hopefully watch me fly!

Let’s keep everything crossed, just in case!

Oh and don’t play Bikini Twister and try to Insta Pic it. It’s shit! Im a glamour puss! I’m just not a ‘right foot plonking, on a green spot,’ kinda girl.

Hapoy Boxing Day!
Chrissie x

Rummy Shit…

It’s a rum ting! Yanno! How ARE you!

*Slurps bottle drizzle.*

I’ve done all my Christmas shopping. Im proud as punch! I’m shimming to the merry sounds of victory! And that is MY CHRISTMAS sorted!!!

I’m not naturally someone who does anything advance. Lol. I’m shit like that. I enjoy pressure and giddy last minute *bursts* of excitement. I’ve smashed it. I’ve nailed it! I’ve had a Taco Bell. (A ‘Faj’ burrito, according to my receipt, to be prescise! 😜 Haha! ) And let me tell you, life feels Wunnaful and I haven’t even had a fucking Baileys over ice yet!

*Winks*

I love Christmas!!!

I’ve panic bought, but I like to leave the kid’s MAIN presents until last, because they seem to have this magical tendency, to change their minds, at a moments notice.

So, with a ‘hair toss, hip bump & wiggle,’ I ordered the ‘Kids electric, Range Rover Evoque’ and 2 Luvabella dolls, on Thursday. I got them Friday! Today, I bought the rest of the shit, that Santa will take all the credit for and OH MY GOD, like a child, I CANNOT WAIT to see them open their gifts!!

I’m an incredibly EXCITABLE by nature. I can’t help it! I’m gushy! I’m like an over excited, Asian popping candy ball!

Raising kids, as a single mum is always really difficult. Yet having kids, as a single mum at Christmas…IS THE MOST AMAZING FEELING!! It’s so fulfilling!!

(I’m not tryna say ‘Kids are just for Christmas!’ Lol I’m just tryna say, it’s much easier, for me…during Crimbo…I love to make people happy. I live for it!! However, I don’t seem to do it often. Haha. At Christmas, when it comes to Ruby & Junior! I smash it!)

Right! Anyway! What am I talking about?

Happy December 22nd! I’m receiving an absolute TON of messages and I’m really grateful! I love them. They keep me going!

Everyone is so utterly shocked that I’m single?? I don’t get why? I’m just shit at love, that’s all! Haha. But you don’t need to worry for me. I’m not worried at all! I’m happy!

Yet, I very much appreciate your thoughts and tweets of lurve…So I thank you. Thank you deeply!

I’ve had so many messages on the lines of…

‘You should have guys lining up..I’m so confused???’

‘It’s because you’re such a catch. You’ve become a conquest to a guy!’

I’m very flattered. It’s is very sweet! But yeah. It’s just how it is right know! It’s not bad! It’s just life! But fuck it, let’s pour a rum and nibble gravied sprouts.

What I’m saying is…I’m a good! 😉

I’m enjoying the Christmas break! I love a chill, after such a busy year! I will say that, in a way, at the same time as enjoying ‘the chill,’ I’m kinda MISSING working! (I’m such a loser! Lol) I’m having to keep occupied! But I’m doing well. I’m focused.

Everyone’s asking me what happens I’m the New Year in Wunna Land…

SHOOTS!!!

I’ve been dying to get back into it all and I’m excited to bring my own sexy back! I don’t care what anyone thinks! I’m ‘YOLO.’ I’ve got this!

I am FULLY booked out on Glamour shoot, after Glamour shoot in the new year and I’m so happy about that, because if I love anything…it’s that. It comes so easy to me! I live and breathe it. I love it and I’m gonna own it!

I kinda let others define who I was supposed to be, for a little while. But why? That’s shit! It confused me? I didn’t know what the right thing to do was. Then I decide that the right thing to do was whatever made me happy! Whatever made me feel alive. Whatever made me feel of purpose!

People can be whoever they want..and they should! They should stand proud, regardless!! You can do it all. You can have it all! Don’t let anyone mould your journey, to fit their fears!

In a way, I think it’s kinda ace that I can still ‘sexy shoot’ at 38! I mean WTF! Haha! On my grave stone it’ll say…

‘I still Goddit!’

(Can you tell I’ve had rum?)

I had this conversation with the powers above…the other day..and it went like this…

Them: ‘Chrissie! When choosing a direction, you can’t do the sexy model thing, but have that insane, funny northern personality. You’re either the unobtainable, but sweet, sex symbol or the loud, funny northern chick.’

Me: ‘Oh? I thought I could just be me?? Haha!’

I kinda fought it. But then I kinda realised that they were right, as we watched the movement of my ‘audience,’ meander.

We experimented.

I was both at the same time (which is me.) That’s who I am! Then I played each version of my personality separately.

And the ‘THEM’ ended up being right!!!

But, how crazy is that! It’s bad how the majority of people STILL put things and humans into specific categories…Y’know, ‘boxes’ that their minds and judgements, tape up.

I’m breaking the seal. I’m setting myself free! And you should too!!!

Can we start a rummy rebellion, please?

Anyway, I’m off now! I can’t be bothered to finish this blog! Lol. I’ve chatted enough!! Haha!

Really do relax and enjoy your pre-Christmas weekend!!!

Chrissie x

No love for me?

I’ve had a birthday. I’ve waved the glittery flag of happiness. I’ve so far survived 2018, which was certainly a new chapter…and even though i’ll certainly have to go on a beautiful fad diet, after filling my love humps with tequila, wine and any ale that would have me… I’m doing okay. I’m a year older. Probably not wiser. But that doesn’t really bother me. I’m quite the ‘together’ chick anyway, aside from when it comes to my love life. I’m really excited for Christmas. I’m loving being a Mama. And I have so much ahead of me, as I confidentially try and sail into 2019.

This year was the first year, i decided to do nothing but home & family fur my birthday. It was bliss. It was everything I wanted, after such a pushy year of ‘da hustle.’ I tried my best. I won. I lost. I loved. I enjoyed. I drank too much. I laughed. I cried. I did it all.

I’m ever so grateful for every single venue who had asked me to come play ‘birthday’ with them/ for them and I can’t wait to see you in the New Year. But I just needed me time, family time, time with the kids…and to regroup. Not because I felt lost. But because I felt happy. I wanted to celebrate quietly and without it being a ‘hoo haa’ for a little paycheck. I spent my Year influencing all sorts, so it meant so much to me to just put on my comfies and relax!

I hope you all have the wildest Mad Friday. I’m DEFINITELY chilling because I can’t be arsed with being felt up by drunks, who’ve been ‘bottled’ or punched up, in giant taxi queues. Lol Yet please do, have the most glorious time.

My birthday month is when I feel at my most ‘ooh laa.’ I hope you do too, it’s a time where you should just enjoy being YOU and not give a ‘narnas’ about what anyone thinks or says about you. Their doing THEIR life. You embrace your version of living and loving.

I’m feeling strong right now, because I’m calm. I’m focussed. I’m chilled. I’m like a rock…with tits. Lol

Push me and YOU’LL fall down. But then i’ll Smile and help you back up. I’m in a good place! I just feel filled with love and I want it share it… I have my friends & family…But I certainly don’t have anyone to kiss under the mistletoe.

Every year, I kind of achieve everything i want. Or I at least take those little essential steps forward. I tinker. I take confident baby steps. I become braver. I’m always filled with that ‘win/lose’ courage aren’t I! I learn…always! That’s for suuuuure!

But OH my GOD!!

Each year I graduate, I never ever manage to find the man OF MY DREAMS!!!

I’m still all single, excited and doughy eyed!

I just don’t get it? Why am I so unlucky in love? Especially when I seem to have all this attention! And I’ve heard all year… from guys who express their actual *terror* of daring to even ask me out. But I find that weird?

It actually makes me feel like no one really fancies me, when I’m apparently ‘one of the most fanciable’ girls?

AND even the guys that did ask me out on dates, or who I chatted to…didn’t follow through…They just left it, like ‘blah.’ Haha!!

What is flipping wrong with me!?! Haha!

So right now, I’m doing me and voting for being happy, sexy, sassy and Wunnaful! I’m a hopeless romantic. I love, love. But I have faith that it’ll find me.

If I’m forever single, I’m forever single. If I’m not…then lucky me.

Whatever will be, will be! I’ll just through it up to the stars & see what magic happens!

Again, I’m filled with excitement and I SO grateful for all your support so far! You’ve made me feel like the luckiest girl alive!

I hope you all have the merriest Christmas. I love you. I love you a lot more than you even realise. To everyone that’s found their way here, may your beautiful world be blessed with shimmies, life and success.

Thank you so much for everything!

Happy Dec 21st!

I really need a rum now…

Love, Life, Stress & Booze UPs

Hi, my little tinsel wrapped Chucky eggs! I’m writing this on my phone with my thumbs, after refusing a morning Guinness, to instead turn on the fairy lights and allow in a little merriment, in my own way. (You’re gonna have to bare with me. I’m shit with thumb tappering. You can’t even sip your pina colada.)

I’ve had SUCH a busy time, following the First Dates thing. I’ve kinda had no rest! Mainly because I’ve had a whole bunch of other stuff lined up..that I’ve had to smash, get in the can, shoot, write, learn, influence, visit or read…and all before Christmas!

I’ve been on every train. I’ve lost both sets of car keys. I’ve won. I’ve lost. I’ve been hit on no end. However, by boys who don’t wanna take me on an actual date..They just wanna ‘bone’ me like I’m a prize…not like I’m human.

But it doesn’t bother me, cos I know exactly what I’m looking for…Boys can’t mess with me. Plus every time some guy, tries to fly in with a boner…who has no intention of anything more, but the merry art of ‘boning’..it’s reconfirms the ‘what I need’ more and more. It does this by showing me what I don’t need….with gin bells on.

That alone makes me happy. I don’t sell myself short  anymore. I’m grown! Being all wise, makes me feel sexy!

Pats in the back for me!!

I’m loving meeting you all. It’s been great to have met so many of you, who have been filled with ‘First Dates’ love for me. It’s weird because it was only a little date in the telly. But I’ve just had so much love from so many people…in bars, in shopping centres, down wine isles, in playgrounds, all over! I’ve had hugs, love and every human, being human. Y’know sending me blessings for the future..because Cupid is a bastard. 😂

I have time for absolutely everyone. So it makes me really happy, when you stop me for a banter or a selfie. So many people still believe in true love!

Being a romantic! I love that, with all my heart!

I’ve felt lost through the whole of last week. Ruby, Junior and I, ALL have! I’ve been filled with a  jolly jiggle on absolute anxiety! It’s been stressful. The kids have been my world through it. I mean little Ruby even read me poems before bed, so I’d sleep.

Chick friend: ‘You kinda have this way of acting like you’re over the moon and fine, when you’re scared or nervous.’

Very true! I’m a pro at it. I have the heart of a true entertainer! Lol

My mum, who’s my life line, tinkered on holiday for 2 weeks. (How Dare She!!) And the timing of it was shit. Y’see whenever a bit of ‘look at me’ occurs, in my life & I’m dipped in a 5 second ‘light of lime,’ I always need her more than ever. I need her more than ever!!

But she was GONE!!

It was good for me though, because you can’t  live in a comfort zone. I’ve got quite good at having the rug pulled, yet still being able to stand and sip my wine!

Now, i’m an independent girl, aren’t I! I’ve travelled the world, with work, on my own since being 19, to dream chase! I was juicy! I still am! But as I’m growing older, my priorities have changed…I’m a sassy bit of ‘family girl’ now. I’m happy, when I’m around the people who I love…because they too care about me the most!

They protect me.. My world is filled with love!

Mum: ‘Chrissie, you can’t be in entertainment and get anxious when people stop, to be lovely to you..It’s your job. They’re supporting you! They want a pic because they’ve loved watching you do, you’re do. Don’t be frightened.’

Me: ‘I’m not frightened. I love it. I love THEM! I do all that well. Sometimes it makes me feel more insecure?’

I guess, when you gave the mist around you, it’s wonderful. However after a bit, it  starts to ‘Circus’ a little…(in fact, it’s not always wonderful, because cyberland will sometimes hate on me. Haha!)

When it starts to ‘Circus,’ that’s when I need my Mama!

Mum: ‘I love you. But you need to rely on your own strength. You need to feel rocky to get strong. When you were a little girl, you were filled with this irrepressible STRENGTH. Now that life has bashed you about a bit..you rely on me or shut away & you can’t, because I’m not gonna be here forever!’

Anyway…

I’ve just got back from London! I had a shoot, 2 meetings and I then did drinks at the Great Northern Bar.

It was cold and chucking it down. But inside where the wine was flowing..it was warm! It was cosy!

Bartender: ‘You’re an attractive girl! Where are you headed tonight?’

Me: ‘I’m just doing life… 😉 I need a large white wine please…with ice in.’

Then after phone calls I was greeted by the most beautiful girl named Lexie and her gay friend from Manchester! (Who didnt sound northern at all!) They were great. So much fun! We did First Date selfies and basically got trashed.

Then these dudes from East London (who’d been trying to get our attention via the fine art of dance routines, under chandeliers) joined us…They were In Christmas jumpers, cheeky and wild! The manager kept having to come over and tell us all to ‘keep the noise down.’

It all went a bit mental then!

Every single person strutting up to the bar had just watched my episode of ‘First Dates!’ It was so strange but ace?? So many people love the show. It felt great!

Then the cheeky East London boys (who ALL had wives and girlfriends…) decided to take a shot at trying to see if they could get me to have sex with them.

Rolls Eyes!

This is my life!

Sometimes I think that maybe I’m just made for ‘entertainment’ and not real life true love.

Why can’t I have real life true love??

Me: ‘No thanks. You need to be thinking about your girlfriend mate!’

Staff: ‘Are you alright, Chrissie?’

Guy: ‘You only live once. My mum passed away. It taught me that! I’ve got a girlfriend, yeah. But I’m obviously not gonna miss out on an opportunity to be with you! If you want that!  You’re beautiful!’

Me: ‘What!!! No thanks. Your girlfriends beautiful. You should call her!’

Everyone was just getting glamourously Christmas drunk! But you need a blow out at times, don’t you!

I ended up puking! Sleeping in my dress. Waking up in my hotel feeling awful, with an untouched Macdonalds by my side…

It took me 3 hours to get out of bed..but as soon as I did..I walked to Kings Cross station, feeling the most hungover I’ve ever felt in my entire life…

I could’ve died. Nothing is worse than being at a train station…waiting…when rough! Plus, I was in heels because I forgot to pack flats. Plus, I had to through my extensions in the bin because they had sick on. Lol

Then fucking Liam calls me (who was currently filming a tv show) with a…

’I need a favour…’

So in my most hungover state at kings cross..I end up having to do his show!!

It was so much fun! But I couldn’t wait to get back to the babies!

An hour and a half later… I was thankfully back on northern soil!!

 

 

 

I’m Back & I’m Single, Boo….

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Hiya! It’s me. What a week! I’ve been an entire juicy mixture of utter happiness, shattered, thrilled, rushed, angry, filled with a bit of anxiety and calm…all at the same time. But i’ve felt confident. I’ve felt like i’ve been bursting with ‘ooh laa.’

How you feel is everything, isn’t it?

Once you find your ‘ooh laa,’ you feel as though you can conquer any fear, like you can bash down any wall…like you can actually be the hero of your own glitzy story.

Don’t let others get you down… Let them get on with their own version of life….

This is THE FIRST TIME, in that week, where I’ve actually been able to just sit at my laptop and ‘diary’ out my story. I’ve missed being able to ‘diary.’ But i’ve been really busy and i’ve also had to let dust settle a little, until I could get to back to normal.

My blog is my therapy, without writing a diary, i’m lost. 

I cannot even believe how manic my last week, has been. I’ve had so much support and love. I’ve enjoyed hugging you all in shopping centres and clinking cocktails with you in bars.

I wanted to thank Yorkshire. You have been HUGE over the last week for me. Thank you so much for all the support I received. All your messages, all your tweets have made me BEAM.

Any bit of ‘hate’ that cyber land flew my way, was cut short by a ‘cyber flat cap,’ who jumped down their throat and told them to hush a little. Well it was more like ‘shut the fuck up.’ Hahaha.

Yorkshire is ace!

My work load and schedule seems to have filled 40 more Santa’s sacks… 😉 Any company that has anything to do with dating have seen to have knocked on Wunna Lands door. Every cocktail bar/hotel has sent me a ‘come to see us’ wink.  All the dudes are like toy soldiers and now asking me on dates…

Yippppppppppeeeeee!

Jonny who? lol

I’ve had accidental beef with @bodybagnell aka ‘Unilad’ who i’m shortly going to play ‘Giant Kenya’ with, after mistaking him for ‘Prince William’ when he’s really a gangsta. Hahah. (He cracks me up. He is such banter!!)

BB: ‘As if you’ve just started public beef with me…My nephew and I are gonna  **** you & your daughter up! Haha.’ 

Me: ‘As if! We would’ve stolen your wallets before you even started to banter. Haha.’ 

I forgot that the general public weren’t actually part of our conversation and just posted ‘beef’ like they were!! Hahaha.’

What? An Insta Story post is all I know!!! 

I also can’t wait to meet JJ…who helped a sista out when in need. He’s just been a Godsend…and when people do stuff like, you appreciate their existence so so dearly.

Anyway….

(Back to what you all want to hear about…)

I had the most wonderful time at the First Dates restaurant and I honestly feel so grateful to have been given the opportunity to have a shot at love, under the watchful eye of sexy Fred Siriex.

It was the most magical and somewhat surreal experience ever…and I thank my lucky stars to have made such an unbelievable memory. That was the first blind date, that I had ever been on in my life and Jonny couldn’t have been a better date . Being a lover of life and adventure, I’m so glad that I got to do it in the First Dates restaurant.

There are no words that could ever describe my experience….and as you know…I am NEVER LOST FOR WORDS.

Fair enough, it played as a match…as their matching team actually smashed it. It was a good combo of banter and life. They delivered exactly what I asked for personality wise. He was ace on the date.

Now, I look back…under a regular, no pressure, no cocktaily circumstance, I don’t reckon, I would’ve fancied Jonny. I need more than salesman ‘taking care of you’ for show. He would’ve just been a best buddy. Yet his personality ON THE DATE and on our drinks afterward was great! He’s fun! He is someone that would probably really look after me….yet he’s not reliable enough for me when it comes to love.

Bit on the up, anytime, you end up on Shoreditch, with a bundle of Asian chicks taking selfies with to you.. in a cue, and you skid on the floor, after falling on your back on the dance floor, to ‘Gold Digger’ by Kanye…. you know you had a good time.

That’s where our taxi took us…upon request. 

But it’s so easy to get lost in the magic of the restaurant. It’s so nerve wrecking. Your heart beats through your chest. Your palms get a little sweaty and you kinda lose ya head for a second. It’s a mixture of both giddy excitement and the fear of the unknown.

But that’s what life is about! I adore moments like that!

I had the best time. I feel so lucky.

And even though I had all this initial cyber ‘hate,’ (well my voice did,)  the amount of LOVE I received over weighed that by far! The enjoyment I had on the date overweighed THAT, for sure.  Then the fact that I’d made SO MANY PEOPLE FEEL…made me smile! It’s almost like I accidentally inspired and that’s all I want to do.

Everyone wants to know what’s going on with me now…

I’m single.

Obviously, it didn’t work out with Jonny. We have a similar sense of humour and dodgy past stories. (Lol.) BUT we’re really different people. If you didn’t see the OK Mag thing, (which I actually loved, because no one should ever feel afraid to stand up for themselves and tell their truth. Especially in a moment of disregard.)

WAIT!! GO TO THIS…

Don’t let other people who live by a different moral standing to you, try to control your happy. I’m a hopeless romantic. A LOYAL love bunny. I’m dashed in fun and cheeky northern banter…and i’m proud of that. I don’t live a lie. I am ME…and it’s wonderful. I like to keep things simple and keeps things ‘love.’

From what I know….Jonny’s more complicated than that….and it’s unfortunate for no one other than HIMSELF. 

He’s one of the first people that i’m glad i’m not…and I don’t actually mean that angrily, I mean that honestly…because in my mind, he has so much more developing to get through, when it comes to love….and whilst he hates me right now, he’ll look back upon this time and be thankful, that he bumped into me….Until he apologises fur screaming at me, i’ll not peak to him again.

I may be giddy, northern and silly…but i’m swag and i’m grown. I’m not wishy washy. I know what I want. I know what is right for me. I know where I am and i’m proud of who I am and what I stand for as a woman…and as a human being! 

I’m not a push over. I’m not someone who backs away from my truth. I’m not someone who suffers fools well, either. AND…I’m not someone you shout at….

EVER.

I’m not a toddler. I’m not waddling through life in my diaper, banging into walls. I’m ‘swag.’ I got life down. We’re bessies. I did learning. I came out the other end ‘canon ball’ style, in a confetti shower, with flying colours.

Preach over. Haha. ‘kin’ ell.

So yes, I’m proud of who am I…even when i’m in nipple tassles. I’m someone who stands up for every single person, who daren’t speak their mind or their truth. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I have a good picture of the big picture of life. None of the little bits that most people ‘sweat’ matter at all.

JUST LIVE AND LOVE IT.

Y’know, the moment you get caught up in the stress of ‘da little things,’ you’ve lost. You can no longer see the big picture. That’s how unhappiness starts.

This is Wunna Land. It’s real life. It’s Wunnaful! 😉 Find YOUR INNER WUNNA.

The experience was invaluable. First Dates delivered. They gave me actually what I asked for.  NOW, I know exactly what I want…

I was gonna tell you all about it. But you’ll just have to search for it, which won’t actually work because I use an alias for everything to prevent that! So you’ll only know, if you know a date of occurrence. Lol. It’s like CSI, but with Pina Coladas, glitter and lazier.

But It’s done now. It’s packaged, parceled and fluttered away to memory lane, by the gin fairies. YIPPPPEEE!

I filmed the date over a year ago. It’s been such a long time. So this lil’ kitten is a moving it along….

Right now,

I’M SINGLE…and i’m looking for love. I’m interested in someone. After First Dates airing, i feel like they wouldn’t be interested in me.

OH THE ANXIETY. Haha. I’m pathetic. Lol.

Right now, I feel like the HAPPIEST and the LUCKIEST kitten in all of the land. When chicks are happy, we beam. It’s beautiful. It’s magical.

I’m still brimming with life. I’m still swirling  with excitement and confidence. It’s Christmas, my favourite time of year!

And It’s my birthday is 8 days!!

EEEK!!!!

 

Life right now though!!! EEek!

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Happy Friday! I hope you’ve jiggled your feeling into place! I obviously have a lot going on right now, but i’m dandy. I might have accumulated a stress rash, (ooh delicious..) but let’s face it, right now, life could be worse.

My inbox is rammed. I had THE SINGLE MOST AMAZING PHONE CALL this morning. You know when you’re just a massive fan of people and they call you. That’s what happened to me, this morning!

It’s Insane!

My life is surreal right now and it almost feels like it hasn’t even started?

I’m about to shimmie into the ‘First Dates’ restaurant, to have a flirt with our Fred. I’m so grateful to be given a shot at love.

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My date with Jonny, is already being called one of ‘First Dates’ most SEXUALLY CHARGED DATES, in FIRST DATES’ HISTORY. 

Haha.

( I enjoy that i’ve managed to tinker onto the most romantic show and ruin it., by being sexually charged. Lol)

Mum: ‘Ugh, you haven’t gone and ruined my favourite show have you! Lol’

I lived the date, but haven’t watched the date, and I certainly enjoyed a tipple or two hundred…Hurrah!

I dread to think what I’ve said or done!

Yet, i’m so happy. I’m so excited. I’m busy as hell. I’ve just signed to new management.

(They represent Idris Elba, the ‘Sexiest Man Alive.’ I know!!!!)

There’s been tons of Wunna Land support and I can’t wait to just kick back and tune in…I’ll be tuning in like the rest f you,…

I have family time tomorrow with Ruby & Junior. Then I shoot off to Manchester on Sunday.

MONDAY MORNING, I’m on CAPITAL YORKSHIRE!!!

I KNOW!!!

AS ‘ACTUAL’ IF!!!

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Smear me in Nandos ‘Peri Peri’ gravy! 

I’m talking all things ‘First Dates’ with Adam & Jo Jo...and it’s CRAZY, because I live for their show!!!! stalk them. I copy them. I want to be them!! Haha

I literally tune in every morning and wee myself a little with Northern delight!

I can’t actually believe that I’m on their show!!!

I hear Monday night’s First Dates, is said to be a ‘tricky one,‘ as a bombshell is dropped…There’s a revelation.

Y’know what…I’m just enjoying my time…

I HAVE A LOT TO TELL YOU…

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED, SINCE!!

However, it’s Friday and I need wine…So follow all my ‘socials’ and stay tuned for the Wunna ‘Magic’ on First DatesMonday, 10pm, Channel 4.

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Next Time On First Dates….

Afternoony, my little trickles of glistening, tinsel torn, kitty wrap. (I don’t know what that means either? Just go with it.)  How are you? I’m great. But knackered. Family airport runs, kicked me in the ‘girl parts.’ I can’t open my eyes. At least if I had ‘goolies,’ it would cushion the blow. Infact, if I had ‘goolies,’ I wouldn’t WANT to open my eyes. I’m too awkward for ‘goolies.’

I love calling balls, ‘goolies…’ like the ‘Juicy’ velour joggers…I want to bring it back! 

I’m currently blogging from Ackworth Garden, by Baby Jesus and the 3 Wisemen. Hopefully some of their wisdom *rubs* off on me, (it’s usually other things that dudes try to rub off on me.)  But i’m feeling lucky!

I’m not too bothered about Baby Jesus, though? He’s been strapped down, by a beautiful chica named ‘Leoni’ who bakes reindeer buns and he now looks a little ‘bondage.’ If I glued studs onto him, he’d be winning at life.

Why am I trying to ruin Baby Jesus? He’s done nothing wrong? Can I get into trouble for that? I reckon i’ve done pretty well to not have already BURST INTO FLAMES, simply by being near ‘Godly’ looking characters.

UGH! I’m so tired!!

(And I’m already getting trolled by keyboard warriors. It’s only 17 minutes past noon. Gimme a break.) 

Okay. I’m gonna cut the crap.

*Slurps Americano.*

Last night, I stayed up to watch ‘First Dates,’ on Channel 4, because next MONDAY, 10pm, I’m on it and they always do the..

‘Next time on First Dates…’ thing, don’t they!

I actually love, that bit….Of course as well as the show! (It’s a great show because it combines, raw and real, surprise moments, with positive banter, dates and love.)

However, when it’s YOU, on the ‘Next time on First Dates…’ bit, it’s kinda surreal????

I haven’t been on telly, on a big show… in a really long time. In fact, it was almost 10 years. Time has flown!! As if it has been nearly 10 ENTIRE years, since I tried to be Paris Hiltons Bestie?? I must’ve got so old, without realizing.

They say that happens….

BUT, luckily,  i’ve managed to fit  a lot into that time. I’ve wiggled out two babies, had a marriage, a divorce, created a sex toy range, been on numerous dates, had a rubix cube of career changes, started a business and done everything in between.

It may not seem like it, but i’ve done alright. But more importantly, i’ve enjoyed it and also met so many wonderful people along the way.

I’ve  also ‘diaried’ it all out. ‘ALMOST’ every day. 😉 I’ve been hungover, busy, tired, scared or lazy, on the days that I skipped.

At least i’m still cocktailing….

You can’t win’em all…

But yeah, I’m much older. (37.) I’m much wiser. (NOT.) Yet, still just as annoying on the telly!! How can this BE!!!! At 20 something, I didn’t realize how annoying I was!!!??!!!  I thought I was ACE!?! Now, i’m like ‘WT *ACTUAL* F!!’

I’m going to take a ‘troll festival’ of online battering….

I usually never ever watch myself back, because like most people, I find myself SO CRINGE. I look different. I sound different But only to me and no one else?? Haha.

However, I can tell you this time, I couldn’t be more giddy, to watch life in the First Dates restaurant, as I strut in and try my hand at love, next Monday.

There’s just something about that place, that fills your heart with ‘ooh laa.’

There’s a magic in the air and it’s filled with goodness, life excitement and hope.

UGH! I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU, BUT I CAN’T!!!

Here’s the clip I saw, last night…

Me: ‘Why have you not told me that I have an annoying voice!?!’

Firmonnell (Chick Bestie) : ‘It’s not annoying. I love it. No one will be surprised by your voice, but YOU! Haha.’

Brett: ‘Your laugh definitely needs a bit of work..Lol…BUT your voice is just YOU!’

Sal: ‘She doesn’t have t tell you….Everyone else will have their cyber go at telling you…Lol’ 

Me: ‘No wonder men thing i’m weird!!!’

Firmonnell: ‘It’s not your voice…’

Me: ‘Can we blame my voice please…K’thanx..’

You need bits of banter to survive it…

(Your friends will have ya back, always! They’ll give you a good roasting, yet won’t let anyone else talk shit about you! Hahaha. The masses who might give ‘trolling’ a go, didn’t go through the what I did, what I have…Some of them, won’t ever have the opportunity to treasure such a moment…and a moment only has to last a second. That’s why it’s important to celebrate all that you are and all that you do…regardless!)

Anyway…

…even though i’m dashed with the ‘oh my goodness…’ reliving the moment will be nothing short of an absolute joy.

I mean that with all of my heart…

I’m the luckiest girl. ..and I love moments like this because you also get to actually SEE part of my life journey, in real life…instead of just in written word.

I mean, I talk about love, dating and all sorts, on a daily. You ask me questions about love, dating and all sorts on a daily, on my Insta Story.

That’s why it’s great to let you BE THERE AND SEE for yourselves, this time. Y’know, hear (Lord help you) and feel with me….It’s almost like letting a ‘book’ come alive! Letting words dance off a page…

If you follow this blog, you’ll get it. You will know how much LOVE means to me. It makes my heart flutter, my eyes glisten and my world go around in a ‘swirl.’

I’m never scared of hearing my heart break, because it’s broken and crunched so many times before, that it’s a trooper…It didn’t matter if I was here in the UK or in West Hollywood, my heart filled with glee and ‘ouchied,’ just as many times. 

But i’m still here smiling! I’ve always given love a go, whenever my heart tells me to, because I know how important it is. 

‘A life without love, is like a song without melody…’

What I’ve learnt about love, over the years is to take chances and that no matter what, your heart will always heal. Even if it takes years! It will always glue it’s pretty self back together and help you feel magic once more, BUT ONLY IF YOU LET IT. ONLY if you also LEARN from the bad times and stick at it. 

When i’m in love, I’m alive.  We all are….Even when we pretend we’re not! Even when we pretend we don’t need it. Sometimes, we fool ourselves….

(Wait! I just need to check to see how Baby Jesus is doing?)

I wish I had more sleep?

I wish I could tell you everything, now! But no can do! I have weeks of blog stories!!!

Why do I look like I rolled around in a pig sty of bronzer, whenever i’m on the telly… ? I look like an Asian Miss.Piggy! But I weirdly love it! It’s me. I’m me. I mean, fuck it, i’ve done it now, haven’t I!

Anyway,

My Inbox is now FULL of guys, asking me out on Dates?  It’s mental. It’s like a spaghetti junction of lost penis.

One guy’s sent me this…

‘Let me take you on a date next week…Lunch and then a random activity.x’

Random Activity?? Hahaha. I’m terrified!  Isn’t that just the same as ‘Netflix and Chill?’ 😉

Code for:

‘Hey Baby, let me give you snacks, then bone you…’

I will tell you that my friends are filled with utter glee, by the simple fact that i’ve actually gone this far to find love….Hahaha..

‘I can’t believe you’re actually on it!!!’

‘I cannot believe you’re doing a First Dates!!’

‘I feel so sorry for your date!! Haha.’

‘I am so excited, because there is no actual way, that you don’t make a dick of yourself! Haha!!’

‘As if, you went on a blind fucking date on the telly! Lol!!’

‘I love this!!!’

‘Can’t wait for this! So low key of you! Haha’

‘Your annoying voice, has just filled my living room.’

‘There’s no way, he’s asked for a girl like you.. Haha.’

So yeah….

Monday, 10 pm, Channel 4….You get to watch me, strut into the ‘First Dates’ restaurant in hope to find true love…..

Wish me luck…

Chrissie, x

ps/ A guy has just sent me this message…

‘So, what ya saying babe…3 pics of ya tits, 2 of ya ass and i’ll transfer £400 to you…’

THEN sent me a screenshot of a bank transfer to a girl who had said ‘yes’ and agreed..

Where have all the good men gone?? 

 

Tiki Bars, Exes, Massage Chairs & Anal Thumping…

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I keep having this recurring dream, where i’m in a Tiki bar (lol..ofcourse,) with the same faces, that I don’t know in REAL life, but know like best friends in ‘dream land.’ (Hahah. Don’t ask!) In this Tiki Bar, there are really exotically, lavish looking cocktails. The one I always see in my dream, is the one that comes in a ceramic,sort of zombie, hula dancer’talldrinky cup…and it ‘moonwalks‘ backwards, around the rim of peoples wooden Tiki tables, as they *wink* at strangers and I watch on.

That’s all normal.

(In my world.)

But last night, I dreamt that Mike, my first husband was there (in this Tiki Bar..He’d hate that) and we were falling back in love, but sexily. (I don’t love him, don’t worry. My dream just wanted me to.) We kept feeling it each other up lovingly and cuddling all the time? It was almost as if he was the ‘key’ to all my life happiness.

Then we went back to a dark hotel and had ‘dream land’ sex. But it felt like we were in New York, high in the sky. I remember looking out of a window that looked over the city. 

I got zapped out of that! I *blinked* and everything had disappeared. 

Then…

…all of a sudden ‘Boyband Jonny,’ who I used to date years ago, straight after the Hilton Show, *popped* up in my dream. He’s Gay now. In fact, he was Gay, all along. He just didn’t realize it, at the time, when he dated me. He mixed up fancying me, for simply finding me fabulous. I’m probably the only girl, he’s ever had ‘half sex’ with. He said, I broke his heart. I didn’t though. I was simply ‘key’ to him discovering himself.

I like Jonny, he’s cool. He was actually a great boyfriend. He wrote me a love letter, when I left in a taxi. I am extremely happy, that HE is happy now, he’s found himself and utter true love. 

I don’t mind an unfortunate bit of ‘heart break,’ if it’s helpful. 

HOWEVER…

I do hate it when my exes hijack my dreams!!! Especially,when i’m at a Tiki Bar, (do they not have dream land’ manners.) A Tiki bar, by the way, is my favourite kind of bar in the whole wide world. (If i could own one, I would. Yet, not for profit, just for kicks.)

I want to be able to have my heart broken, storm into my Tiki, BE pissed off, put on my hula skirt, and sip rum out of a flaming fired coconut, with a cocktail umbrella in my hair, as I  pull faces and cry.

I’d have to own it, simply because I wouldn’t want to get my ‘sorry, hula, ass’ up and pay my tab , whilst crying. I’d need Tiki minions for that.

It’d make ‘hearkbreak’ much easier.

I just can’t get away from being haunted by my exes. Why??

STUPID CUPID, you’re A REAL MEAN, guy.

I’m even getting tattoos shortly, to both celebrate and at the same time REMIND ME of things that happened to me this year…

AGAIN, I’ve had a big year of change and I need to remember it. I want to remember it. So I’m going to Tattoo it.

Ofcourse…Lol

(I haven’t had a tattoo in a million years.)

I was telling Ruby, in bed, last night…and even SHE *paused,* laughed and said..

‘Oh my GOD! Don’t get THAT ONE!!!’

She’s SEVEN! Hahaha. She looked at me like I was ‘whacked.’

Hurrah! Flaming Coconut Drinks for everyone!

Yesterday, I was doing bits of Christmas shopping, at The Frenchgate Centre, in Doncaster, and I decided to go on the ‘Put £1 in it’ massage chairs.

I love a massage.

I love a moment, where you can just hit *pause* and relax for a second, during the bustle. That’s why I used to love Prosecco Pit Stop. (Which no longer exists.)

Woe is me….

BUT, OH MY GOODNESS!

I haven’t actually been on a massage chair in YEARS. Let me tell you. They HAVE IMPROVED!!

I’m sat there, slightly awkward, slightly in public, slightly okay with it though. I’m used to winging an awkward situation and making it look glam. (Hilton taught me well.)

The money goes in the slot and HOLY SHIT, that CHAIR, MADE LOVE TO ME.

It caressed and moaned and rubbed and loved. It oozed. It cared. It romanced and it danced.

THEN…OUT OF NOWHERE…

THE massage chair STARTS ******* BATTERING ME. It starts PUNCHING MY BACK with glee. Then BASHING MY HEAD, FROM SIDE TO SIDE. (Haha.) It starts SQUEEZING THE LIFE, out of my little Asian ribs …and WORST OF ALLEMBEDDED IN THE CHAIR, MUST HAVE BEEN AN ANAL THUMPER…

HAHAHA…

SOMETHING KEPT RISING UP, IN THE CHAIR AND THUMPING ME UP THE BUM, BUM….

..REPEATEDLY!!!!!

HAHAHA.

I couldn’t make it stop and I kept having to pretend, everything was lovely, because I was in public and my daughter was stood next to me. LOL

Do I just have this affect on everything!?! Nothing can just LOVE ME FOREVER, without aggressively Anal thumping me? It started so ‘steadily.’ It loved me. IT DID!!! Then just went MAD and started being hateful or horny????

THEN, when the abused had finished, the chair went on to *SQUEEZE* by legs to death (and my legs are pathetic like Bambi…But luckily, it all suddenly *stopped.*

BUT my legs had got TRAPPED!!! (Hahaha)

WHAT THE ******* IS MY LIFE!!!

I thought the deal was that I only had to ‘suffer’ through the LOVE part of my existence…NOT the ACTUAL other bits of actual LIFE TOO!

ANAL THUMPING!

I put FIFTY SHADES TO SHAME.

Who needs, a RED ROOM? In fact, who needs a fucking husband!?!

I want another go!!!

Ruby was there trying to free my legs, but laughing so hard, she was in tears. MY MUM KNEW, bad stuff was going to happen to me, so instead of protecting me, she decided to FILM the horror.

I’m sure she’s secretly like, ‘I paid shit loads of money to put you through school, you WILL become a STAR, even if I have to FORCE IT, film it and get the insta likes FOR YOU!!’

Then I get home, needing 72 wines, a bit of calm and a spot of telly and all that’s on is a ‘Come Dine With Me’ episode with a Farmer, who has made everyone horny with BEETROOT, by fireworks and an ex body building Geordie, in a purple towel, who’s baked a pie?

I LOVE ‘COME DINE WITH ME.’ (I once got asked to go on the show, but didn’t go on it, because I didn’t want to cook for everyone…which obviously is the whole point. Haha.)

I don’t even cook for my own children, let alone strangers. (Ruby at 7, could probably be a fine dining, food critic, she’s eaten out THAT much.)

Bottom line, I was passing time before ‘X Factor,’ followed by a dose of ‘I’m a Celeb.’

After the massage chair, I wasn’t in the mood for watching pies being made…I either needed a documentary on GOD, TO heal my broken soul, like a prayer. OR just go the other way and find something on the lines of ‘Debbie Does Dallas.’

This time next week, I’m on FIRST DATES!!! 

I’M ON FIRST DATES, NEXT MONDAY!!!

I actually can’t wait to watch tonight’s episode. It’s almost like a starter, for my ‘next week’ main! 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fights, Sulking & True Love…

I had such a stressy night. All was well. All was wonderful. The Babies and I were a delight. All was sound, as we gathered in our *comfies* and watched telly, by the Christmas tree, with snacks.

Junior got the ‘Special Mention’ at school, so was filled with happiness. Ruby was overjoyed that it was finally the weekend, so she could relax. They had survived their consecutive day, ‘School Accident Form’ doo/dah and life was simply BLISS. (Junior was cute because when passing, he heard teachers talking about Ruby in the office. She had just had a fall. He stopped and asked if he could go see her in her classroom. Once granted, he went in and hugged her, to make sure she was okay. Aww! Lol)

Bliss! Delight! Let’s Call Disney & Tell Them To Make A Movie!

THEN…

…my Mum pops around, we have a massive fight, and everything turns to shit. We’re both really strong headed, so it’s annoying, when we bicker. The thing about my Mum is that, she’s about to go on Holiday for 2 weeks. Even though she loves a holiday, (don’t we all,) every single INCH of HER worries about the babies and I, during her absence. She a proper family woman. A great mum. But she’s nuts.

After the sharp bicker, that played almost like a swift, yet verbal knife throw, I got so bored of sitting there awkwardly, (y’know when you just sit there, being silent and pulling faces, so everyone in the room KNOWS your mad, Lol) that I did the only thing I knew how to do, as a daughter.

That was stand up, storm out of the room, perform a giant, angry hair toss, fling my glitter shoes at a wall and strut upstairs, stomping on every step. Haha. I then wet wiped all my face OFF, took off all my clothes OFF and with a *HUFF* went OFF to bed!!

All. Lights.Out.

The art of ‘SULKING’ is exhausting. I hate it. I tossed and turned all night.

I’m such a Sasserilla, when I think i’m right, that my opponent has NO CHANCE.

Then I had this dream that I was high in the sky, amongst the clouds , but falling out of a plane, tied to Talique from ‘I’m a Celebrity.’ I’m not sure if it was a ‘losing control’ kinda dream or a sexy one? I can’t quite decide? Haha. But yes, I’ve woken up fine, but stressed…even though everything’s kinda gone back to normal. It’s made me feel unbalanced.

We do this, The Wunna’s….We have these ‘Blow Outs’ and then everything goes back to normal, straight away…and mainly because if not, I WILL SULK FOREVER. 😉 I’m a proper grudge holder, until I hear a sincere apology.

Honestly, I’m awful for a ‘sulk sesh.’ I’m not really good at it, but I FULLY COMMIT to it. I’m loyal and brimming with pride. I’m also vain, so I like to look good when I sulk. Haha. It’s great when you’re sulking, after a fight with a guy who’s attracted to you, because their willies kick into action and you always win the war.

I think there’s a problem with me because there’s no grey area. There’s no fuzzy, static channel. It’s all swift flying emotion, or nothing at all. That’s with BOTH happiness & despair. I’d sort it, if I could be bothered.  But there’s cocktails to sip and I kinda like who I am.

Anyway…

(I currently have ‘Thanku, Next’ playing in the background. How is Ariana Grande’s voice so beautiful? She literally sounds like a dream. She can take any song and swirl it with a sound of smooth, angelic empowerment. I wish I could sing. I wish I could ice skate.)

So, I got this strange Snapchat message, yesterday evening. No. It wasn’t strange. It was actually lovely. Really lovely. The kind of message that I adore.

‘You’re so beautiful. X’

I’m classing it as ‘strange’ simply because I didn’t expect it to pop up, (I had to double take) and then I couldn’t decide if it was friendly, suggestive, by accident, all of the above, or even correct of him? I already know the guy closely. I just didn’t expect it, because he’s not in the correct ‘relationship status’ box.

That’s not cool.

However, I understand what he’ll be going through right now, because i’m going through the exact same thing…So he could’ve just had a couple of gins and let a mixture of his memories, his heart and his ‘really big’ willy take the lead.

I saved the conversation on purpose to terrify him…Boys sometimes need to feel terrified. They can’t have their cake and eat it. Even if they think they can…

I’m fine with the message though. I’ve done the ‘ginned up’ message numerous times, through life. So, I get it. My messages are always tragic though, because I don’t have a willy. (I might grow one, for kicks though.)

I wish I could just *blink* and be having fun in a Leeds cocktail bar right now.

Why am I so grumpy today???

I’m missing ‘The Swirl.’

 

 

A Little Bit Of Inspiration & Dudes

‘Did *what’s his face* message you?’

‘He doesn’t as much now. He DM’d me the other day, but it was mucky, so I ignored it.’

‘What about the Naughty Swede? Hahaha.’

‘Yeah. He sent me voice notes at the weekend and on Tuesday, saying he has time of work. Hopes to see me sometime. Hopes i’m well..’

‘What did you say?’

‘I just wished him well. What can I say??’

The Swede is always lovely when he voice notes. Yet, it’s strange how other guys can only seem brave enough to talk ‘sexy’ to me. I don’t know whether it’s because they just see me as ‘sex.’ (Which I don’t like. I’m a lot more than a pulsing vagina, whether they like it or not.)

I don’t know whether it’s because THEY THINK, that’s how I’d like a guy to be, after seeing a couple of big boobied pics? I don’t whether it’s because they feel more comfortable emotionally with that approach? I just don’t get it? I just don’t know?

But right now, it’s not a priority. So I don’t seem to care. I don’t have time to aimlessly amuse a guy and ‘tickle his fancy’ on lonely nights. I have better things to do.

In this phase of my life, I would only have time for a guy, who made an actual effort.

Everyone else gets chucked in ‘fuck it’ bucket. Cya!

Sacha Not Fierce: ‘You’re such a DIVA!! Haha.’

I had my opening conversation via Whatsapp on my phone, during a foggy school run, this morning. I was strutting through a playground, in glitter heels, my specs and with a bag of shin pads in my hand. Oh! And I also had a little half Asian Baby attached to my leg…Luckily it was mine, which kinda saved any awkward situations.

(I was once in Camden and someone else’s child had got lost and accidentally attached itself to my leopard print faux fur. I hadn’t even had Ruby yet, so I remember looking down in terror. Then I realized it was a small child. So I smiled and said, ‘Life isn’t going to be better with me, Lovely! Let’s find your Mum.’)

 Big Kisses! Big Kisses! See you at 3.30pm!!! At 3.30, it’s the weekend, Babies!!!

Junior: ‘I love you MUM.’

Ruby: ‘When i’m older, i’m gonna be rich, just so I can have assistants.’

I’ve got so much going on right now, that i’m kinda just focusing on ME!! It may seem like I do that quite a lot. However, I actually really don’t. I get distracted by things easily. I put other things first. I sometimes give ‘distractions’ unnecessary priority.

But, at the end of the day, I’m a boobied Glamour Puss, not a Sergeant Major. That’ll happen. Yet, it shouldn’t happen ALL the time. I was INCREDIBLY motivated when I was a 20 something. You could see a ‘fire’ in my little Asian eyes. Now you see a ‘giggle.’ But the ‘fire’ is coming back.

It needs to come back, pronto. I think i’ve left under a bed sheet somewhere?

Sasha Not Fierce: ‘I don’t think you get distracted. I think you get bored and when you’re bored, you *hobby* boys, things, drama….anything, just to occupy your brain.’

‘Well, i’m not bored right now, i’m busy….’

Sasha:  ‘EXACTLY!’ And that’s why your focus is on YOU, Sassy Pants.’

Me: ‘I think I need botox?’

Old School Friend & School Mum (As i’m running back to my car):

‘CHRISSIE WUNNA!! I was having my cuppa tea this morning and WHO popped onto my screen!?! I nearly I died! I choked on it! Haha. I couldn’t even believe it. I was like OH MY GOD!! It’s…’

Me: ‘Haha. I know. It’s shocked everyone. But yeah, it’s on Dec 3rd…’

‘Well, I’ll DEFINITELY be watching!!! Good luck! Haha.’

Monday, December 3rd, 10pm, Channel 4. ‘First Dates.’ Set ya tellies!

‘I’ve been thinking about ‘The Swirl’ aka ‘T Bone’ a lot. He’s in my head. But he’s in my head because I miss him and i’m inspired by him. I need inspiration right now. He’s someone that’s really GOOD at focusing on what matters to him and balancing it all appropriately.

He sees the big picture and gives everything his all.  Now, I look back. I get it…because i’ve kinda found myself in the exact same position as he was in. I hope I see him in the near future….But I kinda probably won’t.

I’m also inspired by Toby, we know I am. He’s a life soldier. He’s a fighter. He’ll smash the upcoming Winter Olympics and again he’s someone who seems to stay very focused, without letting the art of ‘tango’ or ‘distraction’ get the better of him.

I’m glad that I briefly crossed paths with him, because he reminded me to take life and opportunity into my own hands. Like I used to!

It must be one of the keys to success. Both guys are sportsmen though. Maybe they’re taught that mentality, every day…

You’re a product of your environment right?

Saying that, Mike wasn’t at all a sportsmen? My first husband. (My Little Mikey Ray.) I’d already  had a few  dreams come true, so I knew that anything could happen. MY parents taught me that anything could happen if I tried, because they made THEIR OWN dreams come true. Mum came over here with only £17 in her pocket and built an entire EMPIRE by herself…

As did my Father, who trundled to the UK with his fingers crossed. He ended up being a bone surgeon and building his surgeries, across the lands.

Mum: ‘Yeah, then we had you. We thought we had it all sorted and you turned around and said you wanted to be a MODEL!! Hahaha! I was like, GOD!! RAY! What are we gonna do?? We know nothing about entertainment!!!??!!!’

(But i’m sure that can’t be true because my dad ABSOLUTELY bought The Sun Newspapers ‘Page 3’ Calendar every year and put it up in the living room. Haha. It didn’t even bother my Mum because she’s cool. Maybe HE inspired me! Lol. )

Whilst he did that, my mum took me around to every single dance class, agent, performing arts school, competition, audition, acting class, ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

You name it…I was there, from being about 7 years old onwards…and this was at the same time as doing school. I went to a Private Boarding School. I had a wonderful time at school. But you kinda had to smash it academically and perform. It wasn’t like you could toss it off and play ‘absent.’ It was competitive. But I liked that, because there was still a warmth!

Plus, all the kids there WANTED to do well. There wasn’t a single pupil there would ever turn around and say, ‘I can’t be arsed to be here.’

We LOVED being at school. It was like a resort, a well protected bubble.

There was no ‘hanging out by the bike sheds, sipping cider.’ It was all. ‘Have you signed up to golf, or pony trekking? I’m bored, do you want a quick round of tennis before tea? ’ Lol.

I remember getting pulled out of class, during my G.C.S.E years, to go shoot a campaign, or audition for a pop band..(lol) Everywhere I went as a child, to compete during this time…Sheridan Smith (who is huge now) was there, with her mum. Doing the exact same thing.

Everything must have been so hectic for my Mum. Yet to me it seemed busy, but it was just so fun and easy. However, I’m now only GOOD at working under pressure. I can only be productive when I have A LOT GOING ON. Otherwise, I get bored…and when i’m bored, you’ll know about it.

Meghan: ‘You’re never home! You’re always out and about.’

I still came out the other ‘G.C.S.E’ end, with 9 A’s, a couple A *’s and a B (for Maths!) I am RUBBISH AT SUMS. I can’t be bothered to add.

Miss. Liddle: ‘Did you see my SEESAW post!!! I’ve found what Junior’s good at! I tested him on his timetables. I put them in front of him, didn’t help him at all…and he got them all right! I was like YES!!!! Look in his bag!’

FINALLY!!!! BLISS! I COULD’VE CRIED! (But really! I could’ve cried!)

So, I have one child that’s a glamour puss and loves poetry, reading, success and beauty. Then another who loves maths, building, codes and logic.

Wait! I’ve got distracted again!

SHIT! I was meant to be talking about how I watched Mike’s dreams come true!!! Haha!

So yes…Forget all that. It must be all lies, because I seem to be good at making everything about ME, most of the time! 😉

BACK TO DREAMS COME TRUE…

Nothing is impossible if you want it bad enough…SOME dreams come true, but I reckon,  they come true because people work HARD, and succeed on purpose. They put everything in place, so that one day, when an opportunity for ‘dreams come true’ comes their way…THEY’RE READY!!

That’s all you have to do, right? Put yourself in a good place and the right place. The rest you leave to life magic and keep your fingers crossed. There’s always an element, a force beyond your control.

I WATCHED Mike’s dreams come true, with my very eyes. I watched him go, from wondering how he was going to  afford a Burger King, to doing a scene with Tom Cruise, in a movie, as I sat in a cinema.

I watched us never go out, because we had auditions the next day. I watched us once having to run out of The Saddle Ranch without paying our tab, to then a year later being sat at a five star restaurant, at dinner, on Valentine’s Day, next to Tom Hanks and his wife.

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN! AT ANY POINT.

That’s why I hate it when people give up, because they stop believing. They run out of ‘fight.’

I mean, there are always moments where I sit with my head in my hands, thinking ‘FOR THE LOVE OF ABSOLUTE GOD!!’

But every time, I just take a deep breath, swig a wine and get on with it.

Don’t run out of hope. Don’t run out of ‘fight.’ Keep karma on your side, always, because HOLY SHIT, it can be a BITCH.

Love. Live.

Try not to doubt yourself. Focus on how far you’ve come. It’ll impress you.  It’ll stretch you that little bit further over the line, to get you where you want to be.

Don’t compare yourself to others. It’s depressing. Be inspired by them. But don’t compare your life chapter, to theirs. You don’t know what they’re going through behind an Instagram Pic.

Don’t let other people get you down. It’s your version of life, not theirs. Celebrate YOUR story. I’ve never had anyone ‘hate’ on me, who’s actually doing better than me. 😉 Use any ‘hate’ to motivate you.

I call it ‘Operation: Watch Me Now, Boo.’

Make the right choices FOR YOU. After years of sometimes making really bad choices and failing miserably, over and over again, I will actually tell you that it made me smarter. It made me stronger. Made me wiser.

HOWEVER, some of those opportunities were opportunities that really only come around ONCE in a LIFETIME. Lol.  I properly fucked them up because I was distracted. I had to find another tunnel and dig my way to the light. Save yourself some time. Haha.

Stay focused.

I would’ve preferred to have made the right decision in the first place.

I hear a lot of wise people advising others to ‘fail as much as possible.’ And I get that. It’s true. It makes you mighty in the end. You shouldn’t be scared to’ get back up when you fail,’ I guess is the message. Yet, DO KNOW that whenever i’ve made a GOOD DECISION (yes, that HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED BEFORE) and done something right the FIRST TIME ROUND…. It hasn’t felt bad AT ALL. It’s actually felt WONDERFUL!! Haha.

I feel like Dr.Phil. Wait! No I don’t because i’m about to shoot topless on a space hopper, with a martini glass in my hand, for my birthday Insta pics.

We all have different lives. Do yours well!

I wonder what ‘Fairytale, ‘Hustle Barbie, Mel, Firmonnell and Double B are all doing? I haven’t caught up with them in ages.

I’m getting a Flash back of a time when Double B, Fairytale and I were all sat ON THE PAVEMENT, outside some building in Leeds, after a night out, waiting for Prince Jonny, at around 2am, some morning. Double B had her shoes off and some drunk Ginger guy thought we were homeless and threw change at us!

Hahah….