Can anyone smell Egyptians?

Christmas shopping exhausted me. Yeah…i’d say it can be filed under the good kind of exhaustion. Y’know…when you’re tired, yet deliciously satisfied! *Licks lips-Kicks back-Does horrific shocked faced at a diminishing bank balance.* Being preggo is lovely. Really lovely and i’m going to be an amazing mum. Nothing is more special than creating a life with the man that you love. I’m gonna have a little face of girlie-girl, glaring up at me in amazement, calling me ‘Mummy‘ and expecting me to teach her all about the Wunna Wisdom and the ways in which we *wiggle,* with her little mixed raced bunches in her hair and a smile that suggests pure love. Aww….! I just can’t WAIT!!! Gimme! Gimme! However, saying that she has done nothing but army her way around the insides of my belly. All the way through the X-Factor…she karate chopped away and tango’ed away, until i fed my system fried noodles! Only 2 months to go now. Then Motherhood…here i *strut.*

I’m home tonight because Loverboy’s still ill, bless him. He’s not actually that moaney when he’s ill…which i like. I get bored when looking after him. (It’s kinda like guarding a dead body. But patting it every now and again to give it a Paracetamol and some sympathy.)  Therefore, I’ve left him alone to recover at his place, as i’m cuddling up to myself and my kittens at home, infront of the most magical fireplace of utter warmth. I’m rubbish at sympathy. All my friends KNOW not to come to me for it. Lol. I act all fake and like i agree with them wallowing in self pity. Then i can’t help but give them an abusive lecture on how they really should just dust themselves off and get on with it. Yet Pete’s case is not like that. He’s my bundle of ‘cuddly’ and i very much care that he gets better! There’s gonna HAVE to be TWO of us reining in anything that ventures into the world via my vagina! He can’t try and kill himself off, with the flu, to get out of it all. NICE TRY! I’ll bring him back to life with donkies, Priests and life guards if i have to! I asked him if he needed anything and all he asked for was ‘sparkling water?’ They are NOT the words of a life soldier who wants to get better. RUM or pills is always the correct answer. He can sparkling water my arse!!!

ANYWAY! I’ve indulged in a gorgeously soothing bubble bath, enjoyed a good telly night and i’m currently spending tremendous quality time with my Mother. (Who is stroking ‘Bruce Lee’ my eldest kitten, who i think might be gay or just horny?) I love that she’s in a purple velour tracksuit, with GIANT diamond studs in her ears, at 60 years old, by a bowl of noodles and a Febreeze room spray, that apparently smells like ‘Egyptians.’ I always thought Egyptians would smell like delicious, caramel appled, loin cloths. But they don’t…they smell like flowers, lanterns, candy and chicken.

Anyway, right now i should be at my work Christmas do. I didn’t end up going, due to my preggo exhaustion from shopping. I know..quite a lame ass, Glamour pussy excuse. I just got home, looked at my hung up dress, dried off from my bubble bath, realized The X-factor semi final was on, found myself slipping into really comfy pyjamas, then found a ginormous bag of Minstrels and there you have it…the dress got thrown back into my boudoir closet and i was giggling away to my own darling self, infront of the telly. (Plus, i had a lot of online work to do. Even though i have days off from my normal job. They are filled with ‘showbizzy‘ work, appointments and things that this kitty needs to conquer and WILL. Business, life and love are going purrfectly. The next Wunna stampage is my book. I can’t wait for it. Yet Me being Me, i’m gonna be splurting out a baby at the same time. 🙂 Nice and complicated. How very predictable of me.) Infact, i might add a confetti shower…and condoms!

I’m gonna get an early night in tonight. I’m fully stuffed, i’m feeling content, i’m thoroughly christmasy and laughing at the odd bunch of negative people that aren’t enjoying mulled wine, tinsel and Cliff Richard tracks. Lol. Everyone thinks it’s cool to not enjoy Christmas these days. Not me! I LOVE myself a bit of Crimbo! I mean people will celebrate pancake day like their life depends on it. (‘Ooh i’ve got to have pancakes for tea tonight!!’) Yet when it comes to a time of complete loving and giving, where we have days OFF and everything. They’re all frowny and grumbly with a side of  ‘Turn that Christmas music off.’  Bizarre? I am one who adores Christmas. Any kind of Christmas! I make the most of any time of celebration. (Well apart from NOT going to the work Christmas do. But i do have a late morning shoot and discos at Castleford INN’s are far too ‘Baby Jesus’ for me. 🙂 )

Did i tell you that i got my first birthday prezzie today…even though it’s not until the 19th? I did! I did! I’m also opening a P.O Box for you all to send your fan mail and GIFT

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