But she ain’t messing with no….

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Hey Lovers! I’ve just got done from the funnest day ever. Hahaha. Like i’m literally weeing myself slightly, at the sheer hilarity of people that this world possesses. Yes, i’m a lucky girl. But really, if you aren’t returning home from a day/night on the ‘tipple’ without a ‘party bruise’ a stain, or anything inflatable then you really didn’t have that great a time at all…you just thought you did.

 I am, now the proud owner of an inflatable parrot, that we aptly named ‘Dickhead’  that i managed to tape onto my shoulder and perform ridiculous ‘shapes and combinations’ with. Even to this moment i swear it actually spoke to me. However, the dear folk of this world believe it’s all in my head. (And what a jolly place for anything to be anyhow, right?)

I’ve had alot of people tell me how i am, or how i should be, just recently and i think i’m gonna file it under ‘Me no likey!’ As i know who i am, i know what i’m doing and well the survey says,’ Ding! Ding! Ding! Yeah baby.’ I’m loving writing my blog. I suggest you all guys start one. It’s a good way to cleanse the soul of sinning and do it with a viscious ‘va voom.’ Someone called me ‘sad’ for doing it the other day. (lol) But i don’t think it’s sad for anyone to attempt to document their life. I might not do it well…but i’m a sexy dandy of a ‘ooh laa’ and therefore loving it. (I’m soooo gonna have wine now and am currently typing this with 3 cocktail umbrellas attached to my ‘do.’)

OMG! I actually almost dyed my hair Playboy Blond today. I’ve done it before, but i almost nearly ‘fucked myself up’ … again. Luckily i got stopped mid- thought by the hair gods and a moment of sobriety. Plus i love the word ‘almost’ because if you almost did something…you actually NEVER did it. Then my Mother began to ramble on about how i needed to ‘be better’ because Hollywood had destroyed her ‘innocent’ little girl. Her method was to recite the words of MJ’s ‘Heal the World’ at me, repeatedly. (Lol.) I just kind of stood there pissing myself…no wonder i’m a tea bag short of a full brew. Remind me to do that to my child…if i ever decide to have one in the looooooong distant future. (Bought a mucky handful of Russell Brand DVD’s today. He is my ‘IDOL.’ I do actually worship him.’) I really want to meet a Sumo Wrestler…like a real life one that i can have as a loyal pet and i’m currently addicted to that Pitbull ‘I know you want me song.’ It fools me into believing i’m sexy. Oh and just because there’s a bunch of  hot girls dancing and having a good time at a club at their own table…it doesn’t mean they are slags boys!! (Notice how it’s always the ‘not too yummy’ boys that say that.)

Anyway, i hope ya’ll had a decent night AND day infact. Remember it’s not where you go, it’s who you go with. Live life, have fun, love most and put that back INTO IT bitch…

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