Bum Bags, Boobs & Adoration

Totally rocked the ‘Preggo pinny’ today. I was bump and boobs galore and couldn’t see a bastard thing under my eyelashes. I was a marvel, i tells ya! I’m feeling really excited now, for the big old ‘squeeze out.’ I’m going to be a  yummy mummy and although i am yet to name my darling Glamour Puss to be…(i mean, it’s got to be Wunna worthy and dipped in ‘flooze,’) I actually think i’m going to more than dandy at the old ‘Being a mum’ thang. Mmmkay! *Throws diamonds at you.*

Loverboy’s really getting into the spirit of ‘Daddyhood‘ now. He’s spent a lot of time at home, whilst i’ve been a working little kitty cat. He’s gonna make an excellent ‘House wife.’ In his spare time, he looked at homes that he could imagine being our home today. He found an appartment and a house. When i asked him ‘How Much?’ He replied with a bashful…‘Well the appartment is 25…..MILLION.’ Hahaha. Definitely a man after my own heart. We make a delicious combination of utter luxurious mumbo jumbo. It works for me. Give me glamour, chandeliers, great lighting, pink and gold. I want to be spritz, partied and enjoyed! Once the bambino is out and i’m down to a size 6. We weill teach her our tragci ways and create a beautiful monster…with a wiggle.

Now, i’m anm honest girl. But today, i’ve really managed to put my foot it in a million times over. When i think something. It immediately flies out of my mouth, before an editing process occurs. I’ll say something quite candid, then decorate it, with a *smile.* Today, i met a girl who is both a cleaner and a doorman in one. I’ve never met a girl of that sort before. Therefore being the Glamour puss that i am. I seemed to sarcastically mention how ‘nice’ that kinda sounded, followed by ‘Well yeah…it’s not really a very feminine choice now is it.’ I’m not even judgemental. I’m in no position to be really. (Hello Orgy.) Therefore i don’t know why i said it? I think it’s because i’m a fatty now. I’m hating on people and wearing too big for my slanted eyes, eyelashes, in order to make myself feel better. As I get tubbier, the tan gets more orange, the boobs get more wonderbra’d and the eyes get whore lashed.

I actually have a lot of work on right now and i’m enjoying it, because it’s keeping my mind off the whole baby nerves. Gay Adam i currently Facebook messaging me, wanting me to accept him on my BBM. I have a new phone. I haven’t got my BBM a going yet. Yet no matter what…i LOVE what he wrote to me:

‘I dont care for your words. I care for my not being accepted in your life
my people fought long and hard for acceptance
so that you would put me on your slaggy little phone
and this is how you piss on their glittery graves’
 
Hilarious!! I love my gays, we all know this. Don’t worry. YOU WILL ALL…(well not all 🙂 ) be accepted on my delicious BBM, when i get it a going. I’m preggo for crying out loud. I can’t bbm, whilst i’m fat and have a bambino stuck in my uterus. I’m far to lovable right now, for my usual dry bitchy BBM humour and pure abuse. I do love him for reminding me about my past of fun though. he went to ‘G-A-Y’ the other night. (Where i’ve been thrown out of) and looked around wishing i was there. I really miss the guy i labelled the ‘1-2-3-4’ guy. Fun and south african. We named him that when drunk and because before he perfomed a really drunken dance move, he’d always stand infront of me and shout ‘1-2-3-4!!!‘ I loved it. Then his wallet got stolen…and he fucked off in a huff. Life. (Pete is also now showing me a 9 bedroom house for 3 MILLION pounds, that he thinks we should have. Hmmm…? That’s a whole lot of winking and waving..in nipple tassles mister!!)
Other than all that. The world is being beautiful to me. I feel truely blessed and i hope you do too. A casting director i know in LA..who i always say ‘discovered’ me…has spare tickets to the Oscars. Pete & I can’t go, due to me having to ‘do labour’ around that time. (And i don’t mean *bonk* men in red ties. I mean be a mummy….then *bonk* men in red ties. 🙂 ) I’ve missed a lot of events due to me being pregnant and a lot of work. (Don’t forget i have my book to finish.) But right now all that is important to me is the having of my baby. It’s a miracle and it’s the most magical thing i’ll ever do! I joke about it ofcourse. (I love that Neil, took one look at my *bump* today and said ‘You’re meant to wear your bum bag on the outside!’ 🙂 ) But know that really on the inside, i’m quitely all…i can’t even describe it. It’s jus the kind of unexplainable ‘happy.’ I still take moments alone and look at me and my *bump* in full length mirrors and quietly *smile.* (Apart from that one day, when i made her be Beyonce.)
I love that i’m having fun, putting my foot in everything, love that all my Hollywood friends cannot BELIEVE that i’m actually settling down with a boy, let alone having a baby with him. All my LA exes can’t believe that i’m going to raise the baby WITH him. They thought that i would for sure, make him impregnate me and then totter off with my ‘Now go away and let me raise it’ hand. I’m that indepedant. But i’ve really grown up and i feel really lucky, to not only have a great career, great family, friends, hope for the future, a colourful past, a little girl on the way, a very loving boyfriend, the ability to actually stay with him an more than anything…i’ve actually grown UP! My *bump’s* lucky, because everyone adores her already.  I mean, men aren’t scared away by her. They’re actually quite eager to boot Pete out the way and take his spot of ‘Daddy.’There you go, she’s ALREADY vixen! I LOVE IT!
I’m gonna go now and get my dolly rest. I’m working for the rest of the week and working ‘it’ at the weekend. Incase you’re all wondering…here’s Loverboy…my ‘Handsome.’ We love him and simply because he has excellent taste in women. *Wink-Pout.* (Infact, i’ve just noticed. For a kitten who always goes on about how ‘together ‘ she feels, i sure as hell ask him if he loves me rather much. I must ask him almost 42 times a day. he believes it has nothing to do with me being insecure, because i really am, quite the opposite. I’m extremely confindent and only ‘play’ insecure if it matches my outfit. Apparently, i’m just the kinda girl, who likes to constantly HEAR it. Lucky you. 🙂 #nutjobalert
 
  
Meet Loverboy. Aka ‘Peter Wattis.‘ My Baby ‘D‘ for Daddio! Now tell me that we’re not going to have the most ETHNIC baby in town. 🙂

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