Bring in the Death Threats

Morning Lovers! I’ve just woken up and well regretting my little one night stand with a champagne bottle. (It’s a saucy little bugger.) Luckily, i’m adored by my Mother…yes the woman who squeezed me out of her fadge 28 years ago, so she tended to my ‘wake up’ by presenting me with a silver trayed breakfast in bed, a mimosa, some fresh leafy tea, a bouquet of flowers, a new baby sized laptop to take on my travels (the ideal thing to buy a blogger..hint hint, fans) yet no actual food??? There was no breakfast, with my silver trayed breakfast in bed. It was absolutely brilliant!! Then she said, whilst floundering and littering my perfectly pink boudoir, ‘Go pray to buddha!!‘ I just flicked my hair, then went back to sleep.

I’ve had a lot of highly supportive messaged from ‘all youz’…who i’m going to stop calling ‘fans’ because as the end of the day, you’re peoples just like moi, (i’ve only just noticed) and more importantly the people that keep me employed..therefore in a sick twisted’re kind like my BOSS. (Noooooo!!) But then again, in the wonderful world of ‘Wunna’ things aren’t always so dandy, are they? So here are some of my favourite messages of just recent (last night to be exact)… They’re really quite loving, so you might need to grab you’re favourite love song, dildo, or bunch of pansies to frolick around in fields with. I however, refer to them as very loving  ‘DEATH THREATS:’

‘Chrissie i hate you. I wish you were FUCKING dead. I hate your voice and i hate how you think you’re better than EVERYONE else. You are so ugly. Get over yourself!’ (No….NEVER!! R u asking me out on a date?)

‘U are a disgusting BITCH and not even hot. (ho-hum) U are horrible and i don’t know why people even like you…. (because i’m so smart that i’ve managed to fool them into it. Muahaha!) This world is better off without yu.’ (That’s not how you spell ‘you.’ The word ‘Yu’ is referring to some poor oriental rent boy, and surely he doesn’t deserve to die just yet.)

‘Chrissie you’re a slag. (-gamuffin) DIE! So glad u GOT voted off.’ (Love how the word ‘GOT’ was in block capitals???)

‘You are horrible. You are soo ugly. I can’t believe you’re even a glamour model. You look like an ugly HORSE.’ (But it’s better than looking like the inside of Nora Batty’s Vagina, or a burmese tranny and i’ve been called both.)

Oopsie! People now on March 13th 2009…want me DEAD, (I’ve come a long way…in an evening) and not because i’ve felt up a minor, or drunk drove into someones son, or stolen all the drugs in all of the land, then made little girls whore themselves to strangers for kicks, (Note: i haven’t done any of the above..but i consider them the usual kinda reasons people want other people to be dead , right?) Nope! They want me dead for being  ‘ugly, horrible and looking like a horse.’ Well i didn’t predict this much of a circus! It must mean i’m a Star!! (hahah) I’ve finally reached the lofty heights of people wanting me to keel over and DIE! There’s a thin line between love and hate…therefore i (being the ego maniac that i am) simply believe they have tremendous lesbian feelings towards me. (Bagsy being the ‘lipstick.’) I accept all your advances, with smiles, strap ons and bus tokens. Takes a lot more than that to get this bitch down. The eyes of Hollywood have seen circulated Chrissie Wunna blow job pictures. A little ‘Die Bitch’ from an English Council estate…isn’t really gonna dent this bodywork. (Insert an Alex from Big Brothers ‘ …member i sed dat!’)

All from Women too! Each one from England. I stand tall (well not that tall…i’m only 5ft 4)  for young, strong, ballsy women. And you know what? It’s shit mongers like you…that make other ‘bags of hoe’ want to fuck us over!! I’m doing the best i can out of a bad fucking job and i’m doing it pretty damn well. Don’t make it any harder. Sit down, have a cuppa tea, pull ya fist out ya cunt and get over YOURself. (She cracks the whip!)

Other than that, two people found my website today by Google searching the words ‘Paki Boobs.’ Hilarious! I need food.

Chrissie Wunna

14 thoughts on “Bring in the Death Threats”

  1. Reading this made me laugh to think people are so small minded and such bloody haters… it takes time and effort to message u the fact people actually have time… what wont break you will only make u stronger…
    haters are just the small miniority or people boosting ur name.. which is only making u more known than your..


    chrisse i wish u all the luck and success now your off the show!!!

    take care

  2. aww thats so bad chrissie i cant believe how people are well u know what they say jealousy is evil so what goes comes back around on them lets hope they lose all their friends and i think u should name and shame them .. u have so many fans and people who do that are just freaks and wannabees …they wanna be a wunna …
    well i love ya anyway no matter what people say and as for the horse there must be alot of good looking horses out there with big boobs….

  3. Levi- HAHAH. Thankyou Lovely. You’ll go a long way. I adore you. It’s hilarious. Like a stiletto to the heart!! (she weeps) LOL

    Seany- LOL. I love my boobs! REJOICE! ‘Wanna be a Wunna’ Love that! I love you darling. Thanx for all the support. xx

  4. People are soo perfectic!!! death threats for being ugly i almost guarentee the dont show a picture of themselves when they posted that… only an ugly person would do such a sad shitty thing!

    i like the fact u say bring on the death threats
    With out struggle theres no progress theses people are only helping u by makin u a stronger person than u already are!!

    I <3 you!!!! x

  5. Levi- Hahah. I just think it’s funny. Which is actually quite bad of me, as i should be a lot more ‘huffy puffy.’ I’ve been through a lot more than that. Comes with the territory. I’m as strong as they come. I can handle a death threat…just don’t steal my Grey Goose. lol…then i’m be INSANE!!

    Love you too sexy!

  6. what a bunch of divs chrissei forget about em u are doing the right thing and laughing about it. not everyone is gonna like everyone are they babe havea blinding poets day trouble

  7. i adore u and all chrissie i think u are on the level and your voice aint annoying i think it is quite cute babe u out on the piss tonight? i am staying in this weekend saving me doe for the hatton fight and going back out to vegas on the 30th of april

  8. Racism
    Comments on looks
    Comments on personality
    Death wishes

    Wow – and these nice people think they have a right to judge?
    Good job you can laugh at it. Wonder how someone like Kat or Carrie would cope…

  9. Hey, that’s hilarious….just to say I was pretty pissed off that you got voted off because now (except for Samuel) it’s full of sniveling wet blankets with the personality of an amoeba. Oh and not forgetting the mildly emotionally unbalanced Kat, so basically, I’d rather actually do my uni work than watch it since your departure. I think it’s awesome that you didn’t spend the whole time crying professing that Paris is you’re only friend. Baah, at least I have discovered your blog, which is actually hilarious. So much for reality contestants being pikeys, inbreds and chavtastic china white rejects. Go you!

    PS: Some Burmese trannies are actually damn fierce…bet the methadone riddled, flea infested dole mongering Kerry Katona wannabes who are hating on you couldn’t compete with a bit of of Burma’s finest sausage tucking!

  10. Joanne- I have just woken up (saturday morn) read your comment and pissed myself laughing, to the point of tea spillage. You need to write my blog for me! ‘..pikey, inbred, chavtastic, china white rejects…’ Muahaha. GENIUS!!! I worship you.

    Yeah u have great taste in BBf’s, and therefore i agree…theres simply no need to watch the show anymore…i’m boycotting it and watching ER.

    Samuel I love. Kats evil in it….but i quite enjoy a bit of that (ooh-er) and well Emma and Carrie are like….bookends. Y’know things you use to prop heavy objects up.

    Burmese sausage tucking! I AM OBSESSED WITH YOU hahahahahahahaha


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