Boys, Fans and Merriment

Afternoon, my devils of dare! I slacked all of yesterday off, (these days i’m totally allowed slack off days, because i have a DIVA growing inside me.) You’d think i’d want to cyberland twag and revel in outrageous merriement, with me being forever the Kitty party queen of night time foolery. But no. I sat in bed, for most of the day..eating plums.

I ate so many plums, that i managed to get myself a pretty little headache. That was when i luckily got saved by the ‘handsome’ of my dreams, who dragged me away from the manic plum eating, (which i actually never knew could be so exhilarating..at least these plums didn’t end in a ‘ Thankyou! I love you-but i’ll never call.’ ) I’m saying i slacked the day off, but i didn’t really because i did tend to a lovely bunch of media questions posed to me by journalist, for my upcoming book. It was actually a great deal more difficult than i expected. I’m particularly great at answering specific questions, but these were way more opened ended and extremely personal. I do enjoy personal, yet these days my ‘end,’ stays shut. *Giggles behind hand* Not sure why i found it so hard? Maybe because a lot of it was about my former marriage and not about my blog. Who knows? I was plum eating! (Shit, i forgot to call the photographers! UGH)

Other than all that, I’ve been poked at by Facebook gents all day. It’s quite exhausting, when they’re not so polite. Yet again something I am rather used to now. Men are still guessing what i’m like, instead of actually trying to know who i truely am. They don’t read the blog and just look at the pictures. They then tell me this information, like i’m supposed to be impressed, because they dwell on buttering me up with a *smooth over* of ‘your sexy.’ I know i’m sexy. I just prefer the men, who actually read the words toooo!! The small print in life, is never to be overlooked!

So yeah, to give you an example. I’ll be Facebook chatting to one of my real friends, or a yummy little fan. Then as the boxes begin to pop up and i mean, as the pervs begin their cyber meander…my bottom row of ‘talk to me’s’ grows rapidly per second. Usually by the name of the ‘chatter,’ there is a little red box, which will indicate how many sentences they have quite nicely written to you. (Are you still with me?)

On average most people will see a number ‘1,’ or a number ‘3’…infact even a number ‘6’ can be quite common. Right? Well in my line of wanna ‘chat to me’s’ one ‘being,’ who responds to the name of ‘Naveen Varshney’ (from Mumbai) had persisted with a number 116, in his little red box…and he kept going…sentence by sentence. Pop by pop. Nag by nag!

When i finally reached my boiling point..( i mean, i try to talk to everyone, but sometimes, it’s sooo difficult) and i asked him why he was being such a little nuisance. He replied with a ‘i just wanted to get you to talk to me. I love you. I want to be with you. Give me your number, call me. Please.’ I looked at his 116 sentences of ‘chat’ and apart from three that all read’ Chrissie, i really want you to be with me…talk to me.’ The rest simply said ‘Pls…’ One hundred and thirteen of them… in a row, until i decided to respond. I don’t think the way for get me to respond is to *anger* me into it, with me being as feisty as they come and all that jazzle. He’s a grown man…in his middle flipping ages. He was acting like a 14 year old. Yes, i do appreciate the adoration. I do! We know this. Yet i think he went a little too far with his plan of ‘conquer, conquer.’

In the chat box, 3 pops away…was another gentleman, who always pretends he wants to be a model and wants me to help him. He always asks me to…and therefore i tell him to get good pictures and send them to all the modelling agencies…whilst giving him some names. Right? The cheeky so & so, who i do not even know…then said, ‘So..you’re not gonna bother helping me then?’ How rude!! Therefore i pointed out that everyone who is a model has pretty much done that as a starter of stepping stone…therfore i don’t know why he believes he shouldn’t! I don’t enjoy laziness in others, or users. If you want to be a model..all you  need is to look a certain way. This certain way can be captured by photography and the people who scout for future faces will KNOW right away if you have the current right look… that they need. It’s not really a hard profession to get into…if you look the right way.

He then went on to say, he was only joking *blah blah blah* (men are stupid, they think i don’t here the same think 40 times a day.) Then said, that he wanted me to shoot with him. I said ‘No’ and that he would have to go through my agent. He said that he meant ‘personally,’ with one of those gross *winks.*I definitely then said ‘NO.’ Then after pointless sentences of time consuming banter, he claimed he was only making all of this up to get ‘to hook up with me.’ (Like i didn’t figure.)

I then told him i was TAKEN! (Looong much.) Taken by a delicious, lovely, romantic, boy. So in true ‘the usual’ style…he then begins to hate on my  little Loverboy! He did the whole, he’s a ‘man’ not a ‘boy’ thing. Then followed up with the ‘well you haven’t actually turned me down,’ thing. Followed by the ‘he’s a prick’ thing. Followed by ‘you don’t know if you like me, because you haven’t even given me a chance.’ Topped off with another one of those ‘urky’ *winks!*

I then turned him down with a very polite ‘NO.’ Just so i ticked off one of his required boxes of challenge. Then told him i was soooo deeply in love with another, to the point that every other man pales (unless you are shirtless dancer) in comparison. I laughed at the fact that he had to *hate* on my hero, simply because HE got the girl (just to piss him of) and then i just told him to politely…FUCK OFF!! Boys are always competitive and i despised the fact that he thought i would leave my ‘handsome’ for HIM! Especialy whenhis facebook name begins with the word ‘Wavy.‘ Ewww! I hate pushy boys, who think they’re ‘far too coolio’ and  try to steal other people’s girlfriends. He turned all macho and gobbled on about how he can get all girls! So i said, ‘Good! Go get ones that aren’t taken! I don’t LIKE YOU!!’

This being preggo thing, is not acting as a turn off. It’s making some men think, i’m all vunerable and that they can win me. WRONG! I feel more powerful than ever and  the man by my side, is STILL by my side and will be forever, as we raise our tiny, eyt wiggling *gibblet.* We couldn’t be more excited! Be happy for me. Don’t try to destroy it, simply because i managed to scrap myself a little fairytale and a ‘love of my life.’ It flipping took me ages. If you could see my face and know how happy my heart is right now. You’d be a great deal more respectful. I want everyone to find their fairytale and make their dreams come true. I’m not about destroying the paths of others. I have too much love in me and i’m wearing my happy heels today. Other kittens of preggo get cards and love. I get challenged and hit on by the pervs. Niiice!

Another guy, from another land, then told me he had ‘grindable abs’ that i could wash my clothes on if i wanted? I thought that was cute, because they were making a statment about themselves, instead on attacking my world. Plus, i love abs. However, if i’m too friendly with men, they tend to take it too far, as their testosterone kicks in. The same man, then went on to tell me he wanted ‘to lick my pregnant pussy.’ Which again…ruined it for everyone! *Party over-bring down the banners*

A Facebook chat box away, a glamour photographer was trying to make me topless shoot for him for no money. As if! Nice try! I don’t do anymore *nips out* shoots now, because i don’t have to and it finally feels AMAZING to not have to! I did that to get noticed. I got noticed and now i can move on. It actually brought me a great deal of problems, therefore it’s not a career i advise to young ladies. But at least i can say i experienced it.

I have no problem with nudity at all…but no more pictures with actual nipples out for pervy togs, will be happening. He then littered his sentences with inappropriate ‘i love your big boobs’ and winks. EWW! Why would i work with someone that has made me feel that uncomfortable already!! Gross! I mean, i’m fricking pregnant!! Respect much!!

I knowi ‘m focussung on all the bad boys of cyberland…but i do want you to know that for every bad boy there has been at least 3 good. The funny, charming, witty guys. the sweet ones that know my story and just wanted to tell me they were a fan or that they thought i was beautiful. The ones that didn’t know i was ‘taken’ but were still respectful and the ones that truely just want to be my friend. Like this guy…sweet as pie…(oooh pie..i’d love some pie!)

‘Hey Chrissie only started following you on Twitter a couple of weeks ago! Loving the blog…keeps me sane and gives me a laugh whilst at work! Big Love and good luck with the bambino! x’

Right now, i’m catching up on my correspondants. My book is currently being put together, I still need to organize my shoot. I’m really happy to be in the open spaces and pure fresh snity of Pontefract and life is pretty much perfect! Finally. (It sure as hell took some doing.)

Loverboy met my parents over popadums on Wednesday night and they ADORE him, like a son. They’ve never loved a boy more and infact, i think they adore him more than they adore me. Which could be a problem. lol I have never seen them so impressed. Pete was terrified. But he was just perfect!

The 2nd trimester of my pregnancy…i’m coming up to week 14 and YIPPEEE for Me. It’s completely and finally AMAZING. I’m now feeling like my Glamour pussy self again and like the world is not only more chipper, but ALL MINE! There’s no more morning sickness and lots of love to give. I do quite oddly think that i am the only person in the whole wide world who IS pregnant though? But i would, wouldn’t i! lol *Tragic.*

The BBC are currently asking if they can follow my journey through pregnancy in documentary form. I’m still in my interview process..but it actually sounds like it’s going to be really great! If that does happens, i’m gonna get  the help that i much much need! It’s a lot of pressure at times, balancing my life with pregnancy. People expect a lot from me…and well i’ve got to keep everything on top form…with a wiggle, wink and smile. Not easy!

I’m really happy. People are taking me seriously now, I wish i didn’t come from the slaggy part of asia. I have a career, a ‘handsome,’ a family on the way. A dream come true and a fabulous support system from work and my home. I adore @ILYCHRISSIEW on Twitter. Whoever they are need to be followed by Wunna lovers, simply because they have great taste in glamour pusses and their Bio reads: ‘Chrissie Wunna is my life – end of.’ ILOVE THEM!!!!

My feet are cold. I’m about to saunter down to watch a bit of telly. I need ot buy a new camera and I’m LOVING EVERYTHING GLAMOUROUS!! Gimme! Gimme!

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