Bouji Hotel Nights & Men of the Boiler Kind

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Okay, so I’ve just checked out of a deliciously warm hotel, equipped with free swimming pool, gym, spa and restaurant to get home in time (in the falling snow) for the boiler man, meaning that…if he doesn’t arrive TODAY and at the same time FIX MY BOILER BY TODAY then I’m going to throw a giant Wunna-Wobbly and it’s not going to be pretty! I don’t get tugged out of warmth and luxury for nothing, so i’m not wanting to hear Mr.Excuse this…Mrs.Excuse that, this morning, as I’m bundled up, sat on my rug, by a tiny ‘not very warm’ electric heater, in the freezing cold and weave. My ears will ONLY WORK to the pretty sound of ‘Sorry Mrs.Thompson for the wait. It’s FIXED.’

Saying that, we haven’t had it bad at all really. Like I said, we went away on holiday to the forest, were we enjoyed Keiran’s birthday retreat and private hot tubbing, only to get back and have a busted boiler. We were told it would get fixed that day. They couldn’t do it, due to a missing part. I hate missing parts. They seem to get in the way of everything. Never in my life usually, but in everyone else’s…it’s an issue. Have then not learnt to wing it with a wine?

Long story short, we ended up in a hotel. Which was lovely. I mean, Ruby and Keiran delighted in it…as did my bump. Plus, we figured by Saturday the next day…we’d have heat at home. But OH NO. The Good Lord middle fingered us…and not even up the rudey…and the boiler man returned to fiddle around and inform us that he still couldn’t fix it and we needed to wait until Monday!

Still shitty, but not a problem. We attempted to bare the cold and then went with ‘fuck it, we’re too bouji for this,’ and checked the entire family into a hotel again for another night. I mean, i’m exotic, I was born to be around warmth and ‘ooh laa,’ as is Rubes…and well since Keiran has been with me, he has definite now got a distinct need for luxury, so even HE and his former Army self couldn’t deal with the cold. Hotelling was great! It was getting a bit pricey now. But it was still great. We enjoyed every second of it and pretty much went on with our lives, he did golf, I did a weave, Ruby did nursery etc…However, Monday came and by now we had done Friday, Saturday AND Sunday in a hotel…so we’re loving hotel nights, as since being on holiday we hadn’t really been home and living out of bags is not always as lovely as you want it to be…even if you have a free spa. But yeah, sorry, got distracted…it’s cold in here. Monday came…and the boiler man didn’t even show up, after we had checked out EARLY and needed to reschedule for either WEDNESDAY (which is today) or this lovely time of life that people seem to label as ‘i’m not sure when, but as soon as he can.’ UGH!

Now, yesterday my Mum surprise booked us a giant family room at a nearby hotel. The evening before we had stayed at our local hotel Rogerthorpe Manor and enjoyed s steak dinner with The Wunna family. (My Mum feels bad for us, because we’re waddling around from hotel room, to hotel room. It’s bizarre because you feel half bouji and half hillbilly, all at the same time.) But yesterday my Mum booked us a giant family room, equipped with sapce, three beds, a giant bathroom, a free swimming pool, gym and spa AND a an open credit card tab with the hotel for Keiran, Ruby and I to use as we wished, for dinners etc….She wanted us to really enjoy a bit of hotelling and well believed it was our last night of moving around, as we might as well have a bit more luxury than usual. We ran our errands. Keiran played a bit of golf, we picked Baby Ruby up form nursery early and we drove down to the hotel early, to check in, unpack, relax and enjoy the spa. We finally felt adored and immersed in ‘ooh laa.’ Rubes had room to run around, we all delighted in the pool, water slides, steam rooms…etc…Keiran worked, I spent time with my glitzy loin fruit, (who now adores hotels so much that she doesn’t want to go to nursery. Breakfast to her, is now sitting in a restaurant with a bunch of business men or families at a table being served by wait staff and being told that she’s a beauty.) Lord knows what she’ll be like tonight when we pick her up…and she finds out she’s actually going home. This boiler man better come, as all of us didn’t want to get up this morning and instead wanted to cuddle up in bed all morning and slowly ease into our Wednesday.

I opened the curtains this morning and saw that it was snowing. GREAT! Just what I need when I’m about to wait for the boiler man at home. I mean for the amount of money that has been spent on hotels so far (and we’ve stayed in one for 5 days running) it would’ve been CHEAPER to have booked another holiday in the forest again for a week. Can you even believe it!! I mean, i’m not complaining as i’m really grateful. But, when you’re preggo, early mornings are shit…especially when you have to get your waddle on.

The good thing is that my family have loved it. Keiran and I have been close and in love. Yesterday was a great day because the sun was out and we giggled to the sound of fairy tale. We’re communicating a great deal right now and completely back to utter love mode and well i guess we both just want the other to love us and whole heartedly like they do in a fairy tale or movie. We have that kind of love, the love that story tellers have written about in centuries and both of us never want it to end. Even though we’re confident that it ever will…our histories have made us a little bit more jaded that we need to be.But we’re holding hands through it and loving each other. He looked at me over dinner last night and told me he was so lucky because I was so beautiful and when you hear the man of your dreams say that to you, it sort of makes your world complete. When Rubes had gone to bed we chatted like best friends and we are each other’s best friend and we stared across at each other tucked up in our sheets, talking about our love, life and future.

Our lives are glittered over with all sorts of jiggery pokery but i just know that one day each element will be finally in place and we will be able to champion over the world. It just takes time. We’ve had good moment and bad moments, yet all the moment will count when we get to where we want to be in life. OH!! AND i drove yesterday…twice!!! It was hilarious as the driving part was fine, yet any time ou get to a junction and you have your nose pointing left, yet you’re indicating right, with the wipers on and the radio blasting and the headlights on…you know you’re in trouble! 🙂 I mean, i couldn’t for the life of me figure out where the indicators were??? Of course I didn’t pre-plan, because i’m good like so when I got to the junction i just pushed, twisted and tugged at every and any button that I thought fit. 🙂 It was so funny to be sat at the junction with every bit of my car madly functioning with the wipers and everything, AND having my poor hubby behind me in his van pissing himself laughing at the state of his dear dear wife’s driving. I just looked back at him when it all got the better of me, in my mad car and laughed, whilst shrugging. It was just one of those moments that you remember as ‘good times.’ The simpliest moments of love and laughter.

As always, i went with ‘fuck it’ and just drove anyway. I figured it was only Keiran behind me and I only had to drive a couple blocks up. No indicating took place….until he taught me the error of my ways…we just giggled and said, ‘You are soooo cute!’ I was there in my giant faux fur, preggo and manic, giggling at my shit driving. I’m a champion.

But today, Ruby is successfully at nursery. I’m home waiting for the gent who fixes boilers in the cold, Keiran has gone to Doncaster with his Grandad and life is good. We have a lot of work on. My body is weirdly aching AND well yesterday I had to place our Baby Bump on the waiting list for nursery! Can you believe it! They have a year long waiting list, so I was even kinda late, but my mum reminded me over steak the evening before. Luckily, he will have Ruby already there, meaning he’ll hopefully get a few more ‘push in’ privileges  I’m learning that money does make the world go around. But yes, to get into their nursery, Mothers have to place their babies, even if they are yet to be born, on the waiting list for consideration A YEAR BEFORE they hope to attend! Craziness! PLUS their waiting list is FULL!!

But, i’m happy to have have got my baby boy ‘bump-a-lump’ on it! It felt special, real and lovely. Plus, it made me realize how much of a big girl Baby Ruby was now. I adore her.

I love that i’m sat at home sipping warm cups of green tea, in my coat and TOWIE eyelashes and weave. GIRLS…do not underestimate how warm a weave keeps you!!! My body is all waddled out. But i will say that it sort of sucks that I can’t even have a rum to keep me warm. If in doubt you’re meant to be able to make like a pirate and get rummed up. I don’t think the baby bump will like that too much!

Busy week! I think i’m filming this Saturday in London. AND it’s actually my lovely hubby’s 29th Birthday tomorrow. How exciting!!!

Love you all.

They’ll be blogs today and simply because the laptop makes my lap warm. I’m currently looking for things to keep my lap cozy. I have no kittens to snuggle, no babies to keep my lap ‘ooh laa’, no strippers (i’ve run out of them)…and no hot water bottles….that don’t have gin in them. 🙂  Good job i already look like an eskimo, as it makes the cold not feel so bad, because my mirror image has convinced me that  it sort of in a weird way suits my nature. 🙂

OH and it’s NATIONAL HAPPINESS DAY TODAY, so cheer up you miserable lot!

ps/Almost burnt the house down this morning, by placing all the gas hobs on to keep warm. Unopened birthday cards fell onto the naked flames and well would’ve shot up in flames if Keiran didn’t save them at the last minute. 🙂

pps/ He has also given me strict instructions to not let a random man into the house without checking his ID, because apparently some stranger will rock up, tell me he’s going to make me warm and not even be the right boiler man and after fiddling with the gas for a while, not knowing what he’s doing, he will then kill our entire family. I just looked at him, laughed and said, ‘well that was a very positive thought!’ lol. You can take the man out of the Army, but you can’t take the Army out the man. Good job i like a possessive man. I weirdly see it as ‘ he cares.’ As if anyone’s going to be able to kill me with this weave! I look divine. I’ll open the door and my weave will work it’s magic that his own boner will knock him out cold. 😉 *Wiggle-wink*