I’m finally putting my book together and OMG it is the most difficult thing I have ever done. I mean, how hard can it be, like honestly!!! I’m tearing my hair out with ‘Ugh..it’s just not good enough’ and then trying to slot it all into place, so that it makes a juicy read. I feel like i’m currently jamming the square peg, through the round hole. I’m going insane. Madly. Actually attempting to piece your blog into your book, to fit a certain criteria and word limit, when the book is about your life is HARD! Where do you begin? How do you end? Who do people hire to do all this for them? 🙂
I mean here I am all ‘boasty boasty’ about how i’ve managed to write it all myself and do it ALL myself, when right now…I would give ANYTHING for ANYONE to do it all for me. I hate my tragic boasty self. UGH! Am I lazy? Am I impatient? Am i terrified that it all will fail??? OMG! It’s really difficult and i’ve had a great deal of help, from very dear folk who have lent a giant hand in the organization of it all. I’ve really underestimated how much work actually goes into the making of an actual book.
I’ve been told to keep it about my time on the show and what happened afterward. Y’know..keep it a bit showbizzy, celeb orientated and the glitzy part of my life. It sounds really simple. But it’s not. My blog is such a huge mass of life and words that it’s almost impossible to condense it into a tiny book. It’s 5 books. I could write one on love. One on life. One on Motherhood. One on LA and one on the whole showbizzy malarky. Picking and pulling the best bits out and threading them together in order to make it humourously entertaining…is terrifying me. I just need to stop being a baby and get to it, don’t I? [Breathe here.]
I think, i’m just getting scared now and bottling it. I’m doubting my greatness! I must be? It’s weird? It’s not hard. I’m just being my natural tragic self and complicating it all. It’s ALL DONE. I just need to piece it together. Confidently. All it takes is balls and discipline. I mean, the blog works well enough to have scored me a book deal. I need to calm down…no longer fret and get it done.
I think it just means an awful lot to me and I want it to be great. I want you all to be impressed and love having that bit of ‘Wunna’ with you. It’s going to be in stores!! I need it to at least be delicious. At least be worth it. Y’know be something that I’m actually proud of and something that everyone enjoys.
I’m glad i’ve vented. I’m now gonna get back to the madness. Luckily Baby Ruby’s just woken up, meaning that I can indulge in Mummy cuddles and lovies, before I get back to business. Awww..she’s doing angry pirate faces at me, because she’s pooed. What it must be like, to be 15 days old! Imagine having to do your first 15 days in Wunnaland.