Boobie Woobies & swagga

I FEEL AMAZING today. I’m bubbled over with ‘ooh laa,‘ completely loving you ALL. I’ve been inundated with wonderful words of love and quick sentences that state that i’m you’re ‘idol,’ (which a kitty cat as modest as i, simply adores) and yes…Oooooh yeah…today i find out if my *bumpage* is a girl diva, or a boy diva!!! LOVE IT!!! Woohoo!

I feel sexy, i feel merry, i feel punch drunk on life and like i can pretty uch *click* my ruby slippers and rocket myself from ‘IT’ girl to utter stardom. You call can. All you need to do, is shimmie-shake your way down the correct path…you can do this the fun way or the boring way, but pick A way! Like i always say 88% of people  don’t make their dreams come true, by giving up. (There’s no quitting allowed in Wunnaland.) Then there’s a merry bunch of us that believe that our dream is too far out of reach. Not true! Everything you want to do, i assure that someone, somewhere in this world has ahcieved. *Wiggle-Wink.* Love life. Live it. Be who you are and learn! Add heels, mojitos, boobies and charisma..and bitches you’re a star!

I’m currently getting ready to groom, for my big day of ‘soon to be mummy.‘ I’ve had text motorway convos with my Lit.Agents. (I wanted to make sure Ellie & Karen knew that i was actually writing my book and not slacking i usually do.) I’m really really excited about it all now and well i intend to scribble down the best bit of current writing around!!! ‘Heelllo best seller!’ (I’m totally blogging this whilst stuffing an Marks & spencers toffee mouse in my mouth. Jeremy Kyle is on my telly. There’s a pregnant girl on the right crying because her boyfriend had sex with other crying girls, yet got a man to KICK her baby out of her stomach. We’re all living completely alternate paths, written by our merry selves. I like to keep mine about ‘Diva-faux fur-strut-strut.* No chav boy would ever DARE kick a baby out of my stomach. He’d take one look and his penis would do a *shocked* face and quickly squeeze it’s way back into his body in FEAR and that’s from ONE look. There’s a side to me that all cute and playful and a side to me that’s ALL feist. Both sides are delicious. It’s win/win all around.)

Other than all that, i’ve noticed that my boobies are now ginormous. They’re like giant fleshy F cup butch piggies, hanging from my chest. You’d think i’d enjoy this, as obviously it gets me more free dinners and lets me lose my virginity over and over again. 🙂 However, i’m not  used to my boobies actually MOVING. I walk. They wobble. I’m confused and then there’s a semi circle of half beat handsomes hovering around me, holding out cell phones begging me to number to take. (I never seem to realize that they mean mobile numbers. I just label them ‘1—2…3…you can be 4…’) I don’t mind my boobies having a good old wobble, i mean it is sexy, when accidentally picking up hankies off the floor, after deliberately dropping them for a bit of ‘look at me.‘ Yet i did prefer them when they didn’t move at all and simply because it was more comical. They were like ROCK

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