Woke up this morning and literally had to drag my ass out of bed. I’m not a morning person, but i’m gonna try and start being one. I was on a ‘boobie’ shoot last night. Well it was more a classy boudoir session, full of chandeliers and elegance, then me in my boobs, feeling up deep red sheets. (lol) I have a full day of jolly old ‘stuffs’ that i have to try and get through on this fine Friday morning! And it’s a difficult-ish time for Me. I’m hungry and feel like i’m running on empty.
To be the Ulitmate Party Princess, you kinda have to have a delicious bundle of stamina, and also have a bit of weight on you really. It helps you battle through the party scene gracefully and healthily, instead of looking like a dehydrated crack whore hooker festival. To be a model (and i’m one of the ‘Glamour’ variety) you have to keep your weight down and you’re body sizzle ‘ooh laa.’. (Mmmmmmkaaaay!) You just have to be in proportion, not matter what weight you are. Right now i’m having to (as we say in Hollywood) ‘Play with my weight,’ to beable handle both worlds like a Master and it’s fucking dangerous. Luckily i laugh in the face of DANGER, (Mwahaha) and Jesus thinks i’m a shithead…so i’m doing quite brilliantly. Hurrah! Bring on the ‘Good Times.’ Where are my maracas????
Today, i’m writing more of the book, tanning and organizing my life. I have a big party weekend. I’m gonna start it off tomorrow in Peterbrough, where i will be going to the launch of the new ‘LOADED’ club. But i’ll tell you more about that later because DJ TALENT called me last night. (Hahhaa!) Remember how i told you he contacted me for a date after he had done that amazingly rubbish rap of GREATNESS on ‘Britains Got Talent’ and offered me his services of ‘spanking,’ (and other stuff.) Well i didn’t go on the date and well i didn’t pick up last night. But i do think i should prank call him right? I mean i want him to write Me a rap. Anyway he’s all about ‘The Wunna’ being his Hoe. So remember when you watch him on tv, just know he wants to rummage his sausage fingers through my soiled knicker crackers!
I’ve actually godda go tan right now and stroke my domestic pets. (Ah…the stress of the life of a Glamour Puss. Delicious!!) Oh and I managed to buy a decent ticket for the ‘Britains Got talent tour’ last night by bullying people with love and simple kind swear words. So i’ll be at the Sheffield ‘Shindig’ for the 2.30pm performance. It better be good because i have to go on my own.