Got in at 4.25am, after the BEST.DATE.EVER. Oh my lord. It made me feel like i was in Hollywood again where the boys make grand gestures of expression, to try and ‘woo’ you into submission. I loved it! (Oh and i also apologize if my writing skills are quite rubbish this morning as i was woken by a sharp ‘screech’ of a telephone call, asking me if i wanted to Shoe Shine for Charity. It was hilarious. I grunted my way through it. They simply said, ‘Oh yeah, i’ll let you wake up then.’)
Anyway, most magnificent date EVER!! It was just a magical swirl of romance and ‘ooh laa.’ If there’s sweeping a girl off her feet, this man has made his mark on The Wunna for good. He’s gorgeous, he’s ‘latin looking,’ a bit flashy and appears with a giant display of the reddest roses in hand, a wink, a gentle kiss and a ‘You are beautiful.’ He then tells me how he’s read my blog. (Smooth move.) I’m an egomaniac. I always hate it when boys say they haven’t watched anything i’ve done. Or read anything i’ve written…even if they have. It’s never a good ‘opener’ with Me, cos i’ll just push you to one side for someone who has. I’m calling him ‘Dreamboat.’
‘Dreamboat’ drives us to dinner. We drive to Leeds. The car is filled with music, giggles, tom foolery, sexual tension and moments. He understood me. I guess we’re both highly mis-understood people. So we felt safe in his ‘Bentley’ prison, as he tried to sing me love songs in Spanish, but sounded a bit more like Jimmy Saville with constipation. (I love dating boys who don’t have English as their first language, for you can ridicule them and they have no idea what you’re talking about. Yet always laugh.) I think i was a bit drunk, from swigging a rum bottle before i left the house. (Classy! I’m a Pirate, I tells ya! I’m Jack Sparrowing this shit!)
We get to dinner. Where we enjoy multi coloured pre- drinky cocktails. ‘Dreamboat’ is the most tender gentleman you could ever imagine, after being a hilarious tit of a ‘funny wanker’ in the car. It was weird actually. As soon as he was out of his ‘safe haven’ and other eyes could spy him, the ‘Tom Foolery’ stopped and we rushed straight in. He was full of affection,winks and secret whispers and for some reason it felt like everyone else in the restuarant was watching our date. If i laughed at something. The whole place would be chuckling. If i looked up and around for one second, there was a waiter there immediately trying to tend to something, i might need tended to. ‘Dreamboat’ smelt divine!!
Okay the food arrives, and it looks delicious. To be honest, mine tasted a bit dodgey in parts, but to be polite (like ya do) i just ate it anyway. I was starving, i would’ve eaten ya fucking grandmother. ‘Dreamboat’ notices something is wrong. (I’ve never been a good actress. Yeah don’t rub it in.) He calls over a waiter, makes a quick and very polite complaint. In almost 4 seconds flat, it’s all sorted and switched in a flurry. And even though i did feel a bit of a tit, i was quietly IMPRESSED! (I’m a hard girl to impress.) Then to top it all off, the manager trots out, and gives us a complimentary bottle of champagne for causing us such ‘inconvenience’ during our ‘fooding,’ delicately smoothed over with a ‘Where you on Paris Hiltons British Best Friend?‘ I LOVE this place. Then the boys had a secret joke about feathers on my nipples and before you know it, we are showered with desserts.
Meal is good, and on our way back to his, i merrily ask for my milk and cookies. I mean that’s how this whole ‘jiggery pokery’ started. ‘Dreamboat’ just laughs and we talk about love, life, and ‘good times.’ It was a long drive and luckily we had kareoke in the car. Long drives always tire me out. But we get to his, i sort of slump in, and kick off my heels. I look and it has been set up with candles, mood music and more flowers. He’s like ‘magic.’ (I think i might have made up the ‘candles’ bit.)
I walk into the kitchen, and with a note that tells me i’m amazing, (Well done him) there’s a small tray of freshly baked cookies and a glass of milk! What!!!! I then suggest we have ‘grown up milk and cookies’ which is tequila and kisses. After talking and dancing around his house all night, i realise it’s getting late and even though i’m drunk, i’m not ‘putting out.’ Plus, i wanted to test if he was actually a sly bastard. So i say i want to go home. He kisses me, gives me one of his warmest coats and drives me all the way home, still in good spirits. He has already called me to set up date two.