Being A Darling…

Happy Saturday, my horny hippies from hippedy who? I feel Wunnaful after a long night of missing folk, thinking about my past, sipping bacardi breezers on the outside stairs with a neighbour (i always have great neighbours, i have GREAT one in LA also, that i would tell all my problems to…they seem to just magically walk into my life, exactly when i need them, right on cue, on a patio, a balcony or a stairway, with a cuppa tea or a breezer) and anyway along with a lot of ‘i can’t believe i did that’ flashbacks,  i trickled a few happy tears, because honestly i cannot believe how far i’ve come. I am Champion strong and the happiest person i know. I looked in the mirror this morning and after a bit of a wink, a fiddle and a hair toss, i thought ‘Well the fuck done.‘  (Even my Mother said that to me yesterday when we were in soho, sharing bowls of noodles for dinner. lol) Most people never find who they really are in life, or go an adventures, or experience different worlds and live it with an ‘ooh laa’ so viscious. I flipping did it and now i’m giving back, through the art of ‘blogging.’ I’m happy that my curiousity got the better of me and didn’t kill this pussycat. Now i’ll shut up being deep. I’m dying for a mimosa. People saw both Me and my Mother out at dinner last night before she went home and they were oddly completely shocked!! Almost like, ”OMG she has like family and everything. Anyhow, what i’m trying to say is be comfortable in the skin you’re in, work what you’ve got….because once you are you are 1000 steps ahead of almost every other being. I know who i am and openly tell people about who I am, without apologizing for it. I’m not afraid to flaunt my being. It scares people. But it’s made me push through walls and barriers, with great ease, diamonds and a cocktail in my hand..without really even breaking a nail, as others cry at ‘obstacle number one.’ I mean it took some time, some mistakes, some hurt, some growing up in one of the most emotionally difficult towns in the world (Hollywood)…but that’s all part of the ‘life’ thing. I enjoy it.

Anyway don’t think i’m not being devilishly exciting today, because i am, i tells ya. I am! I read a past ‘love letter’ last night, therefore i’ve fooled myself into my rose tinted glasses. Letters of love are great, because you can always look back on them and know that at that one time, that ‘handsome’ truely did adore you, as much as you adored them. I want more. I’m about ready for my man of dreams to come forward. (Cue Cupid…that fat lazy bitch! I’m sure he’s a loser baker stoner. I HATE stoners. You lazy trumps.) I’m ready to take care of someone, love them, feel them up, spoon them and conquer this merry  world with them. Is that too much to ask for. I like being a part of a ‘team.’ It’s dynamic, it’s strong. Two heads are always better than one. Winky wink. (OOh Matron!)

Anyway i’ve also decided to completely go off any beverage that’s orange. That fucking Bacardi Breezer stained my tongue. Disgusting. Then it made it sting. It’s definitely not what i signed up for. AT ALL. I hate things that stain anything, they can’t be trusted, as they foolishly leave evidence of their jiggery pokery. (I mean i puddle in my knick knacks once a month and I even hate that!) It’s like when you read a National Enquirier, and you get this musty black soot all over your hands like you’ve sinned or ferociously molested a chimmney sweep. For  starters…I don’t need to be reminded of that. Yes anything orange….is rubbish. (If you are Ginner…this does not mean you now need to send me hate mail.) The only ginner i don’t like is the one that linked arms with us on Monday and could only talk about other ginners.

I’m doing really well in life right now. Recovering from the Flu. Desperately wanting a gang of merry midgets to rub my feet, to stop the soreness. I have bad throbby feet. But i’m sure that means i have good shoes. Gay Adam needed my help last night because he wants a young gentleman to ‘love him back.’ This young gentleman apparently likes black men. Gay Adam is not of the correct colouring to tamper with this gentlemans heart strings. Aww…sad innit. (Not really, i don’t care.)

Anyway, in order to win his heart, i suggested (out of humour…here we go, another great plan by The Wunna) that Gay Adam should smear himself in black, like colour himself in ‘brown.’ Like wipe chocolate spread all over his face and body. Take a picture, forward it to the ‘young gentleman’ with a caption that read, ‘Do you like me now?’ HAHAHAHAHAHA! After finding that eyeliner doesn’t work and photoshop is a much easier option..he did just that. Infact spent hours making himself ‘black.’ I fucking love it. HAHAHAHA!! If he doesn’t love him now…he’s obviously a retard.I think that’s a cute and funny way to win a man. If a boy did that to me, i’d want him forever. Ugh…i wish boys were more forward with me and i don’t mean ‘Get ya tits out’ forward.I just mean a boy that has enough ballage to tell me how he truely feels and wouldn’t really mind me being his ‘forever.’ I mean gander to that picture above. I’M NOT A BAD PULL. If i were a dude, i’d love to have me as their better half. It’s hard meeting new boys because they don’t know me well enough, yet think they do. They love me for all the wrong reasons. Hence why i tend to pick from my friends, because after a while, they know me inside and out..regardless to what they ‘thought’ they knew before. I want to have a magical kiss. One where i didn’t know it was coming…but it happened because we wanted it too. (You know what i mean?)

Anyway, i have things to do…a busy day. Picture above taken by mistake as a snap shot when i wasn’t looking. It was before my boob job and well it’s one of my favourites. I love pictures. They make history. (My BBF Samuel is in LA right now…i’m really worried for him because i want him to be okay and have fun! It’s sweltering hot out there at the minute and now i wish i went with him, to take care of him. If you are ANY of my LA friends…call me, find him and look after him for ME!!!)