Okay, so since i changed my Facebook status to ‘Chrissie Wunna is being bullied by BBF’s’ it seems i have been inundated with insane messages wanting to know what happened, why and whether i want them to get nose bleeds…which i approve of! (LOL) Well the thing is, i wasn’t actually getting bullied. Haha. I was just saying it in jest and i honestly didn’t think a ‘change in status’ would be such a big dealio. But by all means feel free to HATE them. LOL ( It’s the humour thing. It gets me into trouble because i’m not really that funny.) Unfortunately My Cheeries you are going to be frightfully disappointed by this rubbish story of events…But here it is anyway:
Okay, so Carrie decides she’s going to organise a big BBF get together to watch the Final. It’s been talked about a lot, yet really no-ones too good at sorting themselves out. She’s very excited and chipper, therefore spreads the news that we (as the other BBF’s) should try and commit to this event. Immediately Ola drops in and states that she will not be attending because she’s simply ill from a lack of clothing and partied out..well from partying and ‘pussyfooting.’ (Fair enough…everyone forgives her.) Lydia then sends in her carrier pigeon of bad news and makes ups some ‘got to go to the doctor, cos of my bad throat’ excuse. (Again, it’s all good. Everyones still all smiles. She IS actually sick, but is probably just in bed.) Laura P, (who i love) sends an email from Mexico stating that she will not be attending the shindig, as ofcourse she would rather be sunning it in Mexico, with her hottie boyfriend, right? Then Samuel barks in with a joyous, ‘I’M IN!!!!’ (He’s always In. I love that!! ) The next move is by The Wunna herself, who decides to simply say ‘I’m Sick.’ (Which means that i unfortunately can’t be part of the hoo-harr. I tried to sneak it in, so they wouldn’t be mad.) And I AM fucking sick you tarts!! My ‘Sick ‘ is immediately questioned by ‘Amor’ (ofcourse…haha) and rightly so really. I mean i’ve used that excuse so many times in my life, when really it just means… i can’t seem to unplug this girthy Penis from my gungeyVagina. (You filthy Twats!)
Anyhow, they ALL notice and ALL turn over to the dark side and start ‘having a go.’ (And not the good ‘gang rape’ kind, as that would be less messy and more of a pleasure.) It begins with Samuel telling me to quit my infantile ways and simply get to the party. I respond by calling him a ‘Fat Whore,’ and then cursing all their houses with plagues. Carrie quickly suggests fluids and Vitamin C. (Aww…) Meddy then calls me a ‘Lazy Bitch!’ LOL. I then decide to stir their attention onto picking on some of the other BBF’s who aren’t sick and DYING. (Drama Queen. Plus, i’m not good at winning fights when i’m ill.) Both Meddy and Samuel refuse to back down and decide that bullying is the only tactic i will submit to (and they are quite right) and therefore continue to use viscious verbal abuse to get me to come to their piss up. Carrie says something about ‘handbags at 20 paces’ in that time. Then i finish off the argument by simply stating ‘ I’m deliberately going to get well, just so i can turn up and BEAT YOU in your FACES!‘ It all goes down well. It all ends in laughter. I sort out the problem with good old fashioned violence and then my Facebook status gets changed to ‘Chrissie Wunna is being bullied by BBF’s.’ (Which turns into a big violent debate by the masses!) That’s all that really happened!
PS/ And yes all this nonsense has been written up to simply take the edge of the naughty picture above, which i’ve just kinda cleverly brought to your attention!