It’s been ages. I know. I’ve been busy…and well a lot has happened. I just didn’t know how to write it out because it was attached to a great deal of… ‘all at once’ emotion. There was too much to say and I couldn’t say it.
I decided not to write it out at all…because it was something I wanted to feel, deal and go through myself. It wasn’t a dramatic BIG deal. But after the first 6 months of 2019 being filled with change, ‘look at me,’ good times, success, mistrust and shock. (It was good and awkward. Haha….) I just needed time to retreat and refuel. Y’know, get mi’head around it all. Innit. 😉
I’m not a girl who moves forward without a clear, concise mind. I’m not clumsy like that. Plus, I’m not one to dwell. I’m a chipper gal. I like to embrace a silver lining and with delight in my heart, put one foot back in front of the other. I’m gangsta, like that. I’m just not someone who ever feels down because I have faith in life, myself and I just know my story ends wonderfully….somehow?
But yes, there was a shock (it kinda just popped out like a dodgy ‘Jack in a box,’) and it was sprinkled with a beeeeautiful shimmer of delusion & confusion. (For such a smart kid, I certainly learn all my life lessons much later than others…in an ‘over & over again’ fashion. It’s simply because I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m sensible, but awful when it comes to matters of the heart…and I don’t just mean dudes. I’m smart when it comes to dudes…most of the time. Lol. If you believe that, you’ll believe anything.)
Everything happens for a reason.
I smiled all the way through the ‘hoopla,’ so no-one would catch on. I do that a lot. Only 4 people knew. I liked that. It stopped me from going properly nuts. 🙂 Just so you know, the key to emotional success is to express. I’ve done it all through my life & I genuinely believe that’s why I have never gone blotto! I knew I couldn’t bottle it in…so I had to tell someone…so I did. I didn’t want it to be a big old ‘circus’ of a blog.
I WILL say that the panic button WAS hit. (Haha. I’m laughing because when I panic it’s hilarious. I never fuss or fumble..I’m kinda chill like Mr.Miyagi…in drag, after a rum and a ‘Notebook’ marathon.)
Lessons WERE learnt. The truth WAS revealed. There was a bit of secret heartache. Mild cyber stalking. A big old vent. My fingers crossed. Everything was hazy, for a wee little spit and THEN in true Wunna style…I WOKE UP!!!
(When I wake up…I’m ALWAYS POSITIVE & ALWAYS filled with excitement. I’m like dynamite..but the good kind? Is there a good kind?)
Bottom line, the word you reach for is ‘unstoppable.’
(My acting coach called me ‘unstoppable’ last night at YAFTA, when we were running through scenes. I laughed it off…but it made me feel SO flipping GOOD!! Haha.)
David: ‘You’re alright. You’ve got Chrissie and she’s unstoppable…’
Me: ‘Haha. Yup! I’m like a ball of light! Haha. Wait? Is that Little Mix?’
Back to the story…
I noticed how great I had it. How wonderful my life actually feels. How wonderful I FEEL as a person and what I now represent.
When ‘a lot happens,’ I kinda worry, breathe…then ‘take it on the chin.’ I’m fine with the rug being pulled from under me. It’s happened for decades. I grew up in Hollywood. I’m all good. I can balance in heels, with a pina colada in my hand, whilst on a speed boat if I wanted to. I’m cool. I don’t need ‘back pats’ or ‘feeling sorry’ faces because my hearts together and full. It’s filled with love and actual happiness. It glows. Watch me now! Haha.
However during the ‘panicky’ bits, I do pause and I think. I try and be as positive as I can…whilst weeping to High School Musical re-runs. I try to see the best in everything…and you shouldn’t always. It’s a good trait…yes. But i trust everyone…that’s how my Twitter got stolen, my bank account in LA got tampered with, my heart got broken so many times… Be trusting. But be smart. Don’t listen. Watch.
Mel: ‘It’s not what someone SAYS, it’s what they DO.’
TBone: ‘It’s not what someone SAYS, it’s what they do!’
I’ll tell you that I never ever stress out though. I’ve taught myself to cut away from the worry & the drama and just focus on the things that make me beam, make me happy. It’s a great trick to learn.
Luckily, ALL of those things begin with love and I have so much of it. I surrounded myself with family. (We’re So close. They delivery stability & truth.) My babies. (They’re my world. I’m so proud of them. They fill my heart with utter joy. They give me a purpose. They’re my number one purpose.) Then my career…I’m acting & I’m loving it. I’m studying at YAFTA. It’s my true passion and it’s just been amazing. It’s made me feel alive again. It changed everything. I needed to feel that whole hearted soft landing. That thing that filled a void and got be back on the straight and narrow. I’ve found it thanks to Charlotte at YAFTA.
I feel so lucky. You don’t even know.
So yeah…I’ve posted this blog as a restart because i’ll be able to post daily from now on.
I just needed to cut the cyber air.
This is a new chapter…and you’re in it!
Work is phenomenal. Life is bliss. I’m in a brand new world. I’m being ME!. I’m busy as bonkers. Everything feels great. I feel sooooooo grateful.
Ruby and Junior have been broken up from school. They broke up ages ago and if you’ve been following our ‘socials’ you will know that we’ve been up to soooo soooo much, as a family. I’m loving it. I never take the time I have with my kids for granted. Through the Summer they’re with me 24/7 and so far, it’s been wonderful.
I’m working a lot and they’re getting to come along, which they love. We’re not the kinda family to chill and home and do nothing.
We’re one week into Summer and we have ALREADY done an incredible amount! It’s bliss!
Over the next few blogs…I’m gonna show you what we’ve been up to as a family.