B.O to Bollywood

There is nothing i hate more than the sheer scent of B.O. It (in my opinion, and my opinion counts) is the worst *whiff* that could ever dance around the environment of ANY pure smelling being. (My favourite smell ever is *bonfire night*…incase you didn’t know. Nothing like the *ooze* of burnt matches and the ‘wa waa’ of gunpowder.) But anyway, yeah, you could probably figure my absolute Kitty HORROR of trotting up to a taxi stand, telling them i needed a ride to Badsworth, them pointing to a happy cabbie, with a ‘he’ll take you’ and then me stepping into the biggest hell hole the world has ever known…in black stilettos and to Bollywood love songs. *killme*

OMG! The car was sweaty hot, sweaty HOT HOT…Bollywood music was playing (which i do like… even at the worst of times..yet the smell of B.O to Bollywood, dunt half make you want to chuck up, when hungover and TRAPPED.) Yes, i was trapped, no air, no working windows, heat, Bollywood and tired from my hotel night in Leeds with Loverboy (who i told off for not *snuggling* me. He made up for it, by bonking me and groaning…whilst i laid on my back and did nothing. It was delicious. He had to go to work. I went back to sleep and got woken up by a banging ‘butch’…because i over stayed my welcome.) Anyway, TRAPPED in a taxi, that suffocated me with the scent of *YOU HAVE NEVER smelt anything like it* much B.O. I mean every bit of air, that i could’ve possibly tried to breathe in..was stifled by this musty brown of air. I kept praying the driver would put his arm down tightly and get to fucking driving. ( U don’t need your elbows UP to drive forward and safely!) Even the flies..(yep flies in my cab) we’re trying to commit suicide. I saw them jump, down the crack between the door and the electric *NOT AT ALL WORKING* window, with a ‘Fuck you Chrissie, we’re saving ourselves.’

Then he did the good old famous, ‘HOW DO I GET THERE’ line! OMG!!! I am sooo annoyed at cabbies. Under NO circumstances WILL i EVER tell a taxi driver how to get to a destination…until we’re at the tiny *right by where you live* roads. They should fucking KNOW!! OMG! That lazy fat swine of a B.O. smelling music lover. He actually drove up the road for 5 mintues, stopped and said ‘Here we are, this is Pontefract!‘ (LIKE I DON’T KNOW THAT!!!) I was dying in there…and he kept turning up the heat..on the hottest day ever! I mean, i started panicking and getting really worried, because 7 mins in, i could no longer smell the B.O anymore, meaning i had become IMMUNE to it. NEVER!!!! I got into the cab smelling like roses (and ofcourse wine.) I got out of the cab smelling like…. your bum and big balled donkeys. All that was topped off with a delicious *over charge*…I take the journey everyday…it was £20 more expensive…and i paid it…simply because holding my breath was making my boobs want to explode. Awful day of travel. HATE IT! Ugh..i do, i do. (Thank God i’m gorgeous. Makes up for it all really. 🙂 )

Other than all that, i had a really ‘ooh laa’ night last night. Loverboy and I had, what i like to call *hotel night*..where we, quite obviously…. stay in a hotel. He had to work…so i checked in early, drank wine, made phone calls, watched otters, got bored, watched ‘Come Dine with Me,’ drank MORE wine, looked at the time..and whoopeee, i’d killed it, he called and was on his way…5 hours later. (This may sound like a long time to you…and it is. But he does it all the time for me. He’s always having to wait until 4am…which is when i get done a working. He never moans either.)

Anyway, he managed to find his way to the 8th floor, room 829 we were in. I’m bbming someone about *boobie cake,* and then i open the door, see him sauntering up the corridoor in his white white hoodie. He hasn’t seen me…which i find odd, so i’m there waving like a twit, for no reason…and then when he got to me, we kissed, laughed, cuddled…I *paused* pushed him back…looked at his eyes and realized he was completely BLATHERED!!! (Now, that’s my role, not his. We’re both drinkers…but we all know, that’s MY award. *grumbly face.*)

I forgave him, we made out, had fun, ordered food, watched the Thriller video, talked about nonsense, drank more, he told me off for acting *coy,*…i let him de-stress, (because i am positive he has very hidden anger in him, deep down) then after ages, i got naked and kitty catted into bed, he got naked and hopped his body of *yummy* into the shower. He dried off, got in bed with me, smelt divine, went boz eyed, started to *slur* his words..mumbled something or other, kissed me, tried to look functional…then as i was about to kiss him…passed out! UGH!!!! (He must be secretly going through a lot.)

Luckily, i was knackered, so i placed my arm around him and went *nighty night* too. When i woke up, i grumbled at how he hadn’t cuddled me…so to make me know that i was adored, he gifted me with his body…in a *plug in* kinda fashion. Haha. It was amazing. I love his body. I’m visually stimualted, when it comes to sex…kinda like a boy would be. Infact a lot of boys think, i’m LIKE a boy. I’m a girly girl…with a boys way about me…does that make sense?

But yeah, on the whole…alright day. I feel a bit dizzy, a bit ill really. I don’t know why? At 1pm, i felt all lost and confused, but then by 2pm, i was back on top form. I’ve got a lot of work to do. I’ve been on it today, as soon as i got home. Lots going on…i just have to get my head around it all. *Wiggle -wink* I’m smearing my jiggery pokery all over this place, peeking and poking and making sure contracts are RIGHT! (I’m in a phase where i’m delighted by normality…but that will soon wear off. I think, i’m just so content and happy with where i am in life right now, and happy with the people i currently have in it, that i’m not craving much else.) I’m really loving my life right now and i can’t believe my luck. The fairytale never ends…no matter how hard everyone tried to ruin it. (I’m living proof that a positive mind works! I’ve lived life the hard way by choice, now it’s easy and i’m for once, letting it be! I’m all grown up! Who’d a thought!) I’m very happy, i dis-associated with everything that i filed under ‘negative’…it made one hell of a difference.

I’m celebrating my life, the way i always wanted. I feel like i can do anything..and if i can..you can too. x (Break down those walls with a *hair toss* and a *wink*…make your story Wunnaful! )

I Love you!

(Oh and to all the people on Facebook trying to add my profile page. I am at my facebook  friend limit. My Fan Page is my 2nd profile…simply because i can’t be arsed to put up another personal profile. I have 800 friend requests awaiting me today, which is far too much and making me feel bad, coz i can’t add anymore people….Add the fan page. INNIT! It works well for both of us 😉 You will still beable to chat with me…because my blog…now has CHAT on it… *look to bottom of  page* Aaaaah!)

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