A Whole New Me…

Morning my lovelies! I hope you all have the most beautiful day. Some of you will have great days. Others just normal. (Never underestimate ‘normal,’ I’d take normal over foolishly stressful, rum dripped palava, any day Lol.) But some will see their day as shocking. Yet no matter what, I promise you there’s always a positive…Even if the silver lining is under 22 bundles of yesteryear’s issues, a couple toy boys from 2004, covered in dust & sprinkled with drama or insecurity. Haha.

It’s there. You’ve just got to be able to see it. When you can..(and I swear it’s a talent…) you’re actually more powerful than you think.

I had a stressy day yesterday, because I let everything get on top of me and I let people (not get on top of me…haha,) but fiddle with my ‘happy place.’ (GOD!!! Haha. Why is everything sounding so ‘ooh er?’)

Try not to let those who aren’t worthy of ‘happy place’ fiddling, get to you. It’s kinda not their fault. They’re just doing their own version of life, accidentally making theirs cross with yours and maybe even struggling.

They have their own issues to deal with…It’s not YOUR problem ever. Don’t take it on. Be kind to those who are kind to you. Respect those who show you respect. I try and show love always. (Not in a saucy ‘Arabian Nights,’ Carry On film, kinda way. Just with a smile as I walk past you. A compliment where due and absolute appreciation for those who show me love back.)

But Thank you for all your messages. Nothing is going unnoticed. I’m all good. I’m just tired and hormonal. Y’know, crying at adverts about puppies and shit. Haha.

I had a really great emergency chat with a good friend of mine ‘Big A’ who owns ‘House of Solo’ Magazine.

Me: ‘Can you stop working out and meet me please. I’m stressed…lol.’

Big A: ‘I’m coming now. Haha.’

We both have busy lives and dramatic lives. We’ve been friends for years. He knows me well..So it’s great to just vent everything out. I didn’t need advice. I just needed to tell my story and have someone to listen to it. Y’know, ramble on. I’d only had 3hours sleep..I don’t even know how I managed to merrily totter through the day. (But thanks for ya ears dude. They must be aching.)

Do note that I didn’t ‘Tyson’ them off, I simply yakkered at them non-stop for a good couple hours. Technically, the sound of my graceful voice tone…is worse than being ‘Tysoned.’ Hahahaha.

Y’know, I’m currently sat in my car, in a Co-op car park, in Ackworth, blogging this on my phone, because a ginormous green lorry has trapped me in my spot, so I can’t reverse out or leave. Lol.

Why do things like this happen to me???

It’s sunny. It’s lovely. There are places I could go & walk to. But I just wanted alone time, so I chose to be the ‘social butterfly’ that I am and CLOSE myself off, AWAY from being bothered by any other human beings. Haha.

I’ve made some really huge decisions. Big changes. I’m happy with them and I’m committed to them…as always. Lol. I’m all or nothing. It’s been both good and shit. Haha.

My Twitter’s back to being ME again. The dude that stole my account and impersonated me unfollowed all my actual friends and followed a bunch of weirdos and porn. I don’t want to wake up and watch people putting ‘things,’ in places that don’t need to be on my feed EVER!! (Haha) let alone at 7am. I’m not judging…But it’s more of a 8am thing for me. Lol.

So yeah clearing up the cyber hell hole that he left for me, has been delightful. I’m grateful I have it back though. So who’s complaining!?!

Plus…Here’s the silver lining…Dove Cameron (who I FAN Girl like crazy because I truly believe she is one of the most phenomenal talents & beautiful performers) Tweeted me back…

.

…and that ALONE made my night! It kinda also made Ruby and Junior’s night…because they now think Mummy knows ‘Mal’ off Descendants. I went with it. They looked too excited. Haha. It was cute. Who am I to shatter dreams!?!

This week is actually pretty busy. It’s a juggle. But I’m loving it. Works great. Celebrating the last week of school with the kids is just amazing. Things have been tough, but made for it.

Everyone’s commenting on the fact that my ‘socials’ are looking a little less saucy. Everyone’s asking me if it’s deliberate…and I’m gonna say ‘Yup.’

Now…In July 2019…where in which everything’s changed for me. I’ve changed. A lot! (I can’t believe how much has happened to be in the first 6 months of this year. I’ve experienced so many things, good AND bad that I never thought would happen in my lifetime.)

I have a new career direction. I’m older. I’m wiser. I’m stable. I’m still fun but I just want to make sure that i use my voice correctly. I want to make sure that I inspire, the way I always hoped to inspire. I want it to be positive and eventually graceful, with a dust of cheek.

I want to stay true to who I really am and I want my kids…my mum to be even MORE proud of me. (They already are ofcourse, but I just want to make sure do everything correctly from now on. The way I want to.)

I’ve learnt everything the hard way, haven’t I? I don’t want to say, but I did look at a girl I know personally. She’s in the moderate limelight, she’s American and she’s doing everything she can for an insta like, love, money. Obviously she can do what she wants, yet I don’t think she’s doing it correctly, in regards to what she truly hoped to achieve

She has everyone disrespecting her and hating on her left, right and centre because she’s brash. Kinda like ‘The Pricey’ was in her hey day. I understand she has a lot pain in her heart. I understand her game.

I never wanna be that girl. I never want to play that game.

I’m happy. I’m whole. I’m banter. But I’m warm. I’m nice. I’m thoughtful. I want to radiate that. (When i say things that lower the tone, I usually say it for a laugh. Sometimes people don’t laugh..(haha…) and it all looks and feels really awkward. Lol)

Eg: There’s a school mums WhatsApp group and Ms.Murphy said something about golden booty pants…that made me say that I wasn’t gonna wear pants… whilst roller booting, which made everything really awkward for a moment. Haha. They’re not stupid enough to say things like that! Lol.

But Yes! I have a new fresh focus, a glint in my eye… You’re gonna see a different side to me.

That doesn’t mean I’m gonna wear gingham dresses and sing The Lords Prayer every two seconds. It simply means…

Caroline Flack: ‘Sometimes you want to post something inspirational. Other times you just want to post a beer that’s the size of ya head! Haha.’

I’m just gonna be me. The clothes are going back on. It’ll probs still be ‘sexy,’ yet without it being ‘slutty.’ It’ll hopefully still fun. Hopefully ‘beautiful’ on occasion. I’ve out grown public ‘slutty’ and don’t crave that kind of attention. (I actually never craved that kind of attention this time around. I did when I was younger. But not this time around. I saw it as an opportunity to make money. However right now, money isn’t everything to me. I’m doing well anyway, innit.)

So Dear Chicks! I will say I’m gonna need ya support because obviously I have a fanbase of MALES who are rather perky at the sight of me in my undies. When I’m not…they’ll flitter.

The correct audience will hopefully THEN find it’s way to me…and it’ll be all new and lovely. Yet the transition is gonna mess with my ego. So I need to know that you’re there!! Haha.

I love you lots!

Chrissie x

Well….

Wow. It’s is the busiest time in Wunna land! If a bee could slip on heels and be even BUSIER, without the honey dripped treats…it would be me. Yet, I’m excited. I’m loving it. Once again…everything is changing…Once again, for the better!

No matter what happens to me in life, I always hold onto the ‘good things happen to good people’ phrase. (It’s better than holding onto a vodka.) I might be loving. I might be a bit talented. But THAT (the good things/good people thing) is something that no-one can take away from me…or anyone. That alone makes me feel powerful. That alone is what the karma GODS notice. That alone adds to any successful wish, that you ask the Genie to grant.

I’m who I want to be. I’m exactly where I’m meant to be…and it feels like I’m just getting started.

Okay. Away from all that. Am I walking around with a ‘Treat me like a douche’ Post IT, glued to my forehead? Haha.

Yes. I’ve been going through a lot. Yes. I’ve been working. The new acting thing is amazing. It’s filled my heart with an unbelievable glow of happiness. I feel so lucky to blink and find myself where I am right now. I feel so lucky to be given the opportunity to make my dreams come true.

I’m taking the acting really seriously. It’s the only thing work wise now, that I actually want to do. And you’ve got to hold onto the things that make you happy. I don’t mean the ‘flash in the pan’ kinda happy. That kinda happy lacks substance. I mean the real kind that lasts forever. That’s the kinda happy that every human searches to find.

It’s my passion. It’s my joy. Yet I love that it has nothing to do with the way someone LOOKS and it’s all about how someone performs & tells a story…It’s about what they DO. It’s not filled with cheap tricks, the best eye makeup, who your dating, or a craving for Insta likes.

It’s mature. It’s sophisticated. It’s beautiful…It’s filled with soul and real life.

But anyway…yes. Before 7am. I’d already pissed off two humans, that were in different countries. Lol. One of them I intended to piss off. The other I didn’t. However, it’s pretty good going. I got blanked and told off. Haha.

If you’ve been following my socials, you’ll notice that I’ve been doing a lot with Ruby & Junior. We’ve shopped, played, picked strawberries, fed swans at the park, done play areas, watched shows. We’ve dined at Gino’s, The Ivy, Clam & Cork, Ego, Issho…you name it. The kids and I have loved family time. They make me so happy!

I mean yesterday we did Farmer Copley’s because who doesn’t love a family farm festival, with a Prosecco bar. (Only I can successfully do a farm in heels, booty shorts and with a Prosecco in my hand.) Seeing Ruby & Junior beam was worth getting stung by nettles in a strawberry picking patch!

Me: ‘FFS!!! Haha. Aaaaargh! Who knew picking strawberries would be so tedious!! I thought it would be fairytale!’

But anyway…what I’m saying is…I’ve had a wonderfully fulfilling time. I’ve been so happy. So ofcourse, people have to ruin it all. Lol.

I’ve had Pete (Ruby’s dad) have a go at me. Keiran (Juniors Dad, put me through stress.) DBear told me off this morning and then last night I found something out about ‘TBONE,’ which I expected, yet it disappointed me, on a friendship level because I used to really respect him.

I don’t respect him anymore. The first time I stood up for him. This time (and because he previously affected my life) I haven’t. He doesn’t deserve Wunna Land back up because I’m not sure if he’s a good person. I question that now. (Especially because I know both parties involved.)

The good thing about me is that i’ll always be dandy. You know…always be okay. Even if I’m not…no-one would ever know. I might tell one person, but that’s about it.

However I feel lucky because I have the most wonderful friendships. An army of true support, who know matter what are always there for me.

There’s a lot going on right now. I will tell you that and I’m about to canon I to the busiest week ever! It’s filled with madness.

But I’m gonna do what I do best and that’s love my babies and work really hard. The drama dancing around me doesn’t matter. I’ll let it dance all it wants….as I stay focused on what matters to me.

Wish me luck

Got Me Twitter Back, Innit!

FINALLY, after THREE months of *slog.* Three months of stress. A moment where I thought I was gonna give up…and then a fire in my soul that refused to let a con artist, a criminal and basic idiot called Dee Edmonds win.

FINALLY after all that, I won my verified Twitter account back, after he had PR’ed me under false pretences, stolen my account from me (I woke up one morning and he had changed my email address and password, so I no longer had access to my account. Then used my account, whilst impersonating me to DM hundreds of other people, some who wanted to start out in the business, others were verified accounts. He pretended to be me. Everyone thought it was me, because the account was very active and well, you see a ‘blue tick’ and an @chrissiewunna and you would assume that it really was me right..and not some strange man, pretending to me, after hacking and stealing my account.

He then tried to make them sign up to a fake agency (made it look as though I was recommending and referring him) and took a bunch of money from people, ripped them off and used my account and used my name to do it.

He had made people so angry at me that they were threatening to stab me… They didn’t know it wasn’t actually me… People were threatening the lives of my children & I. He put us all in danger.

He thought he was gonna win because he thought i’d given up. It affected my brand, my reputation, my business, my personal life and family….I wasn’t giving up at all. I’m not that person. I wanted to make him think that he was winning, because he wasn’t smart enough to refrain from tripping up.

(The entire time Wazza, who runs this site and I were trying to go higher and higher up the Twitter ranks to make sure it got sorted appropriately…not because it’s just ‘naughty’…IT’S ILLEGAL.)

It wasn’t easy because I kept getting an automated response, so no one was really looking at my problem and sorting it out. I mean, they must obviously get a lot of this. What made it worse was that DEE, had a copy of my ID, that he apparently needed to send someone at Insta. (He then went on to form a fake Insta profile of me, asking people to pay him money to apparently watch me do a nude webcam. I don’t know how he was gonna do that? I would never do a webcam. But my followers screenshot all his messages & sent them to me, whilst asking if it was real. Even they noticed it felt odd. Dee would spent his time trying to hit on me via WhatsApp any time I was in London. I thankfully ignored him. Can you imagine what he could have done to me!?!)

Insta shut him down, as soon as I reported him. They were having none of it.

Twitter…because the account was verified and he had standard ID…didn’t.

So basically for three months he could use my Twitter account, with my ID and scam people. I had to THEN prove that I was the real ME. ‘Chrissie Wunna.’ Twitter didn’t believe me at first. The account was already verified and he had ID.

We sat. We thought. I announced that I didn’t care. I didn’t need a Twitter. 😉 He thought he was plain sailing then. He even tried to contact Twitter support to have my username changed. (It didn’t work. Mwahaha.)

Wazza then sent me an email address to contact. (I trust Wazza with my life. We went through he whole of school together.) If you have problems with something and you can’t get passed an auto response, did you know that there’s a site where in which you can ‘Email The CEO.’

So I did. I explained everything, I sent supporting evidence. I didn’t expect to get a response… He personally emailed me back with instructions.

I did exactly what he said and explained why and how I could prove I was the real me. (They only had one form of ID.)

I did at the CEO said…and within days I had gotten my Twitter back…But only for about 2 hours, before Dee and the hacker had panicked and reported it. They thought I had simply tried to report the hack again, they didn’t know I was already talking to the powers above, who were monitoring everything.

(I also had a solicitor by this point.)

They regained access after those 2 hours so I reported it once more, doing exactly what I was asked.

I then supplied 2 forms of ID. I sent in pictures of me HOLDING my ID and then to smash it out the ball park, I sent in a video, with my held up to the camera. (All of this with supporting evidence of all the things he had changed my account display name to. It was great that he couldn’t actually change my username, because it meant that he always had to fly under @chrissiewunna.)

Then my friend , Bex Shiner (@BexBB9) sent me this…This message made me DO something about it. (I thank you so much for that Bex.) I’ve known Bex for years and I love her. She was on Big Brother the year Rex and Lisa were…who I also love. We’ve been close ever since, because that’s the year I had just entered the Hilton House on ITV2.

On the same day he had sent similar messages to people who he didn’t realize were my actual REAL LIFE friends. So Sam Reece got one, Tom Zanetti got one…Kerry Katona….Literally loads of people… (Silly man.) He unfollowed them all…incase he got caught out.

Luckily they’re not so stupid. But I still found it really embarrassing. I mean, what if people DID think it was me! People who didn’t know me personally, really DID think it was me!

He had already scammed my friend Liam out of money. Dee didn’t know i knew Liam personally. But when he knew Liam had a press release out on his scam, that was about to go live in the national press…he shat himself and transferred his money back immediately after MONTHS of toying.

Anyway…it was at that point where He had complacently tripped up and messed up. I obviously knew who it was the whole way through. I talked to him about it. He was trying to deny it but smug. He thought he was funny. Like he’d taken advantage of someone weak & vulnerable.

I’m not vulnerable. I’m fire! And that on the whole is disgusting!!!

Obviously he needed to trip up because you need pure evidence not ‘hearsay’ to stand your ground. He did it himself. He tripped over his own little cyber feet & just when he thought he was so cocky!

At that point I was able to give a full report to the CEO, my solicitor and the police. (Yup! Identity fraud and hacking is illegal.)

Twitter were WONDERFUL! I woke up yesterday morning with an email stating that the correct email address (MY email address) had now been connected to the account and I had pretty much won it back! Everything was still in tact… Yet Wazza & I chose you delete all my Tweets & start over because 3 months of continuous fake ones had gone out.

Dee probably woke up that morning and SHAT HIMSELF… (I know you’re reading this now. You can’t help it. You didn’t win and you have a lot more to come. They’re called ‘consequences’ for illegal activity.)

I had never felt more relieved, yesterday morning. My mum was really proud of me for listening to her. (For once.)

I wasn’t relieved because i had won my verified Twitter back, with followers in full tact…I was relieved because the sheer injustice of it all had really hurt me. I don’t like things that are not fair and having someone be able to pretend that they were me and get away with it, whilst ruining my reputation was just awful. It was really awful. I tried to ‘swag it off,’ but I couldn’t. It devastated me. It felt intrusive, wrong and at the beginning I didn’t think I could make it right. I felt violated. Disappointed in myself. How could I be so careless? So trusting? I know better than that!

(Go back to March..)

Me: ‘I feel like he’s won!’

Mum: ‘He hasn’t won. He CAN’T win this. You ARE you. He can’t win in REAL LIFE or in court of law Chrissie…As soon as you show up…everyone knows you’re the real you!!! Wake up! Be stronger and…’

Me: ‘But no-one at Twitter is listening. I’ve reported it a million times. ALL my friends have..’

Mum: ‘MAKE them listen!! Don’t give up. Wazza has given you ALL the tools you need to win this.’

I love my mum. It was in that moment where I flash backed to that time Wazza & in were 6th Form at school. We were stood in Maroon jumpers making up rude versions of Christmas carols during first break for kicks.

That’s all we thought we were doing at the time. We didn’t realise that decades later those school moments were building ‘forever bonds.’ That’s not even just with Waz. Every single person I went to school with are still so close. Yeah we all did well. But the school is what taught us to love, respect, help and protect one another through our lives. We always have. All of us. That’s why I sent my kids there.

I mean Ruby & Junior think they’re just playing with Eoin & chatting to Ray. Or skipping with Freya and swimming with Rupert. If they all stay in school, when they’re 30 they will have created the closest bonds. It happens with every year group that graduates.

What I wanted to say is THANK YOU to absolutely every single person who helped. Whether you reported the hack, sent me support, sorted out the problem or gave me a contact. I am so grateful. Also I want to apologise to anyone who he managed to scam, whilst using my name. I’ve read through the DM’s and they’re awful. I’m so sorry. One guy messaged me last night stating he’d taken all his money. I hate that o was associated with that.

But do know it wasn’t me and do remember (this is a lesson that I’ve learnt also, to be really careful online. Not everything is as it seems.) I do have an article going out to build awareness…and yeah it feels good to finally have it all exposed.

My account was verified. No-one has any reason to think is wasn’t me.You’ve really got to be careful.

I’ll tell you though…

Never give up. I nearly did. I have a good mum. She believed in me. I believed I couldn’t win a month ago…But i did, it would’ve been sorted out more quickly, if I woke up faster, instead of throwing the towel in.

You can do anything that your heart believes is right! You’ll never achieve anything, if you let others walk all over you, take away your world or make you forget that you are strong!

Newcastle Trips & Fire….



Playing with fire is always very exciting. It fills your world with a rush… an energy. It swirls through you with an unquenchable delight, that not a single human being can ever diffuse. It’s a moment. It’s sexy. It’s alive. It makes your heart beat faster. You eyes beam with a flourish. It slowly strokes your fingers over that ‘naughty’ button, doesn’t it?

Living out of your comfort zone is essential for anyone’s development. Rushes of happiness are exactly what we search for. We hope that those ‘rushes’ will forever stick.

The problem is, when you play with fire…FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! CONSEQUENCES may arise…and when they do…Oh Baby….you better be able to handle them. Sometimes big. Sometimes small. Yet, all times tricky. ( I guess, it’s part of the balance. The ‘Yang.’ The Lesson. As we all tackle this little thing, that someone labelled LIFE.)

Newcastle was great. I’d just finished filming, late…the evening before in Leeds, at ITV. I’d been in London with my bestie Ronnie, before that. ( I sitll need to tell you about our time in London, at The Ham Yard Hotel) I was tired, that morning but open top of the world. I felt amazing. Life was a dream and simply because I was really excited.

I kinda slept, woke up, slipped on a denim dress and again found myself stepping off Platform 3B onto a train headed towards the North East. I was off to see ‘T-Bone.’ (Who’s been a really great friend of mine for years now.)

T-Bone: ‘What you wearing?’

Me: ‘Why? You wanna wear matching outfits?’

T-Bone: ‘Hahaha. No.’

Incase you didn’t know, ‘T-Bone’ (formerly ‘The Swirl,’) and I are quite close now. We have a good friendship. The real kind. It’s one of those friendships that you’re gonna WISH you had. No-one would really understand it, but us. I think sometimes people who don’t know us personally, as individuals, would GUESS how we are, judge us, use us, be a certain weird way around us. Yet with each other, we don’t have to be that way, simply because we accidentally know each other really quite well. I can see through him.

Everything’s so easy, it’s always a laugh and our banter is simply our thing. We’ve known each other for ages and we’ve built up all these memories.. Its wonderful. He’s ace. I hope he’s someone I have in my life, for the jolly kitten years, I have left. (If cocktails don’t kill my liver before then.)

At the end of the day, memories are all we have. So just live. You’ll regret it if you don’t.’

I hardly catch up with people, because I’m so busy now. But my Newcastle ‘catch up’ was the always the best. I guess you make time for those you truly miss, right? He makes me laugh…and that gift alone is pretty damn precious. I like a giggle. He delivers a giggle. I’m signed up. I’m there…and with bloody bells on. Lol.

We had a good time!

There’s a puppy playfulness to T-Bone, a soft side and I like that in folk. It shows a giddy innocence. It’s not that he isn’t ‘grown.’ He’s grown. He just has the ability to still FEEL alive. He doesn’t do things until he’s ready. But when he does, he does them whole heartedly with every piece of his soul. He’ll give it all he’s got…if he’s bothered and wants.

TBone: ‘You know you can hire someone to live in your home, who cooks cleans, looks after the kids and massages you…’

Me: ‘What like a wife?’

TBone: ‘No. I don’t believe in that. Haha. I’m fifty/fifty. I wouldn’t treat my wife like a slave. Oh wait? Yeah. Is that what a wife….Haha.’

He’s the kinda guy who never thought to buy an iron because it all sounds too tedious. He irons his shirts, by hanging them in the shower, to let the steam get the creases out. ( I love that so much, I almost want to be him. I said ALMOST.)

Me: ‘Why wouldn’t you just buy an iron?’

TBone: ‘Well? I.. I don’t know? Haha. I’ve got really bad now. I like fresh sheets, so i’ve started to sleep in a different bed every night. Haha. There’s four where I’m living. On the 4th day, I get the cleaners in to change them for me, because I like the feeling of clean sheets.’

I’m humoured by all this. It makes me smile. Scrap the ‘almost.’ I definitely want to be him.

TBone: ‘My mates are starting to call me Princess. Lol’

I’m not gonna tell you anything about the catch up, because it’s firmly planted in my head. I don’t need to write it to remember. I’ll remember.

‘As if i’m a real actress now. Haha. ‘

‘I’m addicted to watching Married at First Sight.’

‘You should’ve heard me. I was like a fucking football hooligan. Jack Marriott properly ruined my night! Haha.’

‘I just didn’t expect that from her, y’know.’

‘My friend said he gave her a penis puppet show.’

‘They just like the lifestyle!’

‘You’d love it out there.’

‘They’re deluded, you can just wake up at 22 and decide that you’re going to…’

‘They’re just not nice people. I’m all about the positive.’

‘It’s important to keep things exciting. Like you should be having a date night once a week…after the honeymoon period.’

‘I thought I should get married!’

‘She has no friends.’

‘Was it actually worth a free dinner.’

‘You’re like a fucking teenage boy.’

‘I made a bbq by MYSELF. I’ve never done that before.’

‘Everyone goes fishing at five o clock in the morning…’

‘Do you?’

‘Erm..No. Haha.’

‘So you just show up when it’s done. Haha.’

‘I used to get the train to Leeds and go to Oracle. Haha.’

‘You were happy the last time i saw you. But you seem so much happier this time.’

‘I’ve rested. Im relaxed. I’m not living on eggshells anymore.’

‘I’m not a sponsor.’

‘You’re still a human being. We both are.’

‘I had to pay £1000 extra at the airport because my baggage was over.’

‘What the fuck did you have in it? Hookers?’

‘That night, Jack Marriott ruined my life!’

‘I love me Mam. It’s like a four course meal!’

‘So, I wasn’t allowed to see other people but SHE was??’

‘Have you done Loose Women yet?’

‘I’ll let you go first.’ (That was on Departure. That’s how all departures have to happen, so everyone doesn’t jump to 99 different conclusions.)

It was fun. It was great. And you know something is great by the way you feel afterwards. I’m happy to know him. I beamed with an energy that I wanted to treasure . He cracks me up. It’ll be another year until we get another decent catch up.

‘TBone: Are you still smiling?’

I’ve always thought our paths were just meant to cross, because we act like we’ve known each other our entire lives….and we haven’t at all. We’ve been friends for ages. But like i said, with everything… I’m sure i’ll find out, why our paths need to cross.

T-Bone: ‘I’d be intimated if i met you in a bar? There’s just something about ya…’

Bottom line, great friendship, awesome time. We seem to stand by each other, for no reason? We laugh. We tell secrets. We tell tales and we thankfully don’t judge one another. (There’s kinda a lot to judge. Haha.)

T-Bone: ‘I haven’t see you in AGES, but it feels like I just saw you last week!!! It’s crazy!’

Me: ‘I know. We just get on, so well. I don’t even know why?’

All The Cities & Game Changers

So much has happened, I don’t even know where to begin? How long has it been? About 2 weeks? I’m absolutely shattered. Haha. But I’m happy. I was in acting class and then work last night….after train journeys and a morning filled with shock!

TBone: ‘No way! Are u ok?’

Me: ‘Yeah. God. I’m fine, it was just a…’

(Phone rings… ‘TBone.’)

Me: ‘Haha…Why does everything always have to be insane!!!??!!!’

TBone: ‘Fuck that! How are YOU!!?!! God! I thought something had happened to YOU!!!! Are you okay???? I thought something had happened to you!!!!’

Me: ‘Yeah. I’m fine. It’s just nuts.’

TBone: ‘I need a run on the beach to clear my head. Haha..’

Anyway, I don’t even know where I last left off? I’ve been dying to blog, yet my schedule has just been so manic, there’s been no time.

But i’m here now, at the coffee shop in Waterstones, in Doncaster. I love blogging here, because no one bothers me. I’m easily distracted, so if i get ‘bothered’ i’m actually usually delighted. Haha.

(Pervs are sending me suggestive DM’s, my Mum’s texting me her about piano lessons? I’m learning lines off a script whilst typing and I’ve just had satsuma. There you have it. Life at 10.28am.)

Over the last couple weeks i’ve travelled to what feels like a gzillion different cities for work, play and adventure. I love adventure. I usually come out of it all , a wee bit emotionally ‘bruised.’ However, i’ve learnt that it’s kinda essential to have those little life tumbles. It’s essential for the way my life rolls, anyhow? I’m always someone who believes that everything you go through, you go through for a reason. Your destiny is set. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

Each morning, I’ve woken up, over the past couple weeks, it’s been a new train ride, a new friend, a new sight, a new world, a new vibe, a new feeling, a new life, another step forward, a new chapter and another memory made… It’s been nuts, but so satisfying. I’ve been strutting away gleefully…. pausing…..looking back over my shoulder, as I leave a moment, a city or a person…and smiling.

It’s that smile that makes me happy. I always stop to feel the air…’smell the roses.’ Even if it’s just for a minute. I’m not ‘living my best life’ for an Insta pic, with a cocktail in my hand, hoping that everyone ‘double taps’ a like button. I’m TRULY living my best life, because i’m feeling, i’m adventuring, i’m loving, i’m alive.

I never know what’s going to happen to me? I JUST know that it’ll be something wonderful.

I have an adventurous soul and even though i’m much, much older. (I’ve been writing this blog for over 10 years.) I’ll tell you that I have never been as happy, as I am now.

I’m really lucky. I never forget that.

But let me skim some of the things that i’ve happened, as I flash back….The blogs of each time and city, will be going up over the next few days.

So much gone down. All happy. All fun. Some scary. But on the whole, i’m still dandy and winning. So we’re good! Haha. (Fingers Crossed.)

I’ve been a Mum, a friend, a lover, a fighter, a girl, a woman, a daughter, a worker…just everything over the last two weeks and my actual morals have been tested.

I’ve been to the Circus, fed goats, travelled to five star hotels in London, selfied with Wunna followers..

‘I loved you on First Dates! Can I have a picture?’

I’ve caught up with one of my oldest best friend. He’s like a brother to me.

Ronnie: ‘I’ve missed you SO MUCH!!! I love that you’re HERE!!!’

I’ve bowled in five star hotels, (in the worst shoes ever.) Now, I ADORE the Ham Yard Hotel. It’s bouji, creative and phenomenal. I also love that they have their own quirky bowling alley. BUT THE BOWLING SHOES that they give you, are totally against my show game. I don’t think it’s unsafe to five star bowl in heels. EVEN if you’re allowed cocktails brought to your VIP lane. 😉

(I’m going to tell you all about my time there in a later blog, because I did so much with my favourite Gayasian Ronnie. He’s a celebrity chef. Cooks for casual people like Gwyneth Paltrow , Dita Von Teese, Tyra Banks etc… WE ARE BEST FRIENDS…and seen each other through everything.

Ronnie: Remember when we used to go to The Abbey in LA, drink Malibu Pineapples and then cry in the car afterwards, because we didn’t have lovely boyfriends. Hahaha.’

(He’s now married to the most lovely lovely man, who is the most lovely, lovely husband. I want a husband like him. I’m….well still crying in cars, after Malibu Pineapples, in comparison. Haha.’)

I’ve talked ‘Aladdin’ over Vietnamese Pho bowls, smelt boba souffles at ‘Cha Cha Roll.’ Walked through Soho. Then witnessed actual human body parts, of people who are no longer with us.

Ronnie: ‘Why is he looking at us?’

Me: ‘Why are his balls moving?’

Ronnie: ‘You do know that these are real dead bodies, right?’

Me: No. I didn’t. I do NOW though. Thanks for telling me now that I’M FUCKING TRAPPED HERE!!!’

I’ve drank street wine in the warm London air, AFTER being unable to find a respectable, non creepy looking gay bar, as a homeless busker stood by our table and sang ‘My Girl’ to us, whilst playing the accordion. (I thought there was something quite beautiful about it. Ronnie…didn’t. Haha. He did that awkward ‘pretend it’s not actually happening, right in front of you, ‘ face.)

Ronnie: ‘It’s making me feel weird. You’re British. Tell him to move on…’

Me to Busker: ‘You’re gonna have to go now mate. We’re on a date and we need to chat….They like singing. Sing to them.’

Ronnie: ‘I’m gay. But that was good. Haha.’

(Then security came and removed the homeless busker. 🙁 )

I’ve had train rides back onto Northern soil, after banter, new returns and…

Me: ‘Welcome back…’

Reply: ‘What you doing Thursday? Let’s get a drink. What you doing?’

Me: ‘I’m on a train. I’m just getting back from London…’

Reply: ‘Get off at….’

Me: ‘I’m actually ON that train, but i’m getting off at Doncaster…’

I’ve had work days of filming, auditions and class. I’ve spent the most amazing time, with the most amazing people. At the same time, i’ve simply been Mama. Junior’s had a birthdays, he’s now six and we’ve enjoyed play dates, hotel nights, celebrations and of you know my kids….some of the best restaurants that Leeds has to offer. Haha. (We have to eat out almost every night, due to my distinct lack of cooking skills and the fact that i’ve accidentally raise them on fine dining….because of my ill skills.)

I’ve had everyone offering me everything and through it all i’ve managed to stay so grounded and raw. Glamourously Northern and real, is how i like to put it. I do like to keep it bouji, but lets face it, i’ll still rock up to Greggs and grab a sausage roll.

I’ve been excited, I’ve been happy. I met old friends, best friends and a human that I adore. I lost connections, I ignited old ones, that had always been there. I guess, they still are? I chatted to strangers, I listened….I realized a lot of things and in really short space of time. I made choices on the things that I had experienced and witnessed. I made choices on how I truly felt. I made choices that made me happy, after gathering everything together and having a ‘good look through it all.’ I didn’t listen to anyone. I never do. I simply went with my gut.

Everything happens for a reason. I swear by that always. It’s something I notice every single day. I guess situations and people are put in front of you, so you can feel, wake up, love or learn.

It’s not all been wonderful. There’s been tense moments. I’ve been to court. It worked out in my favour. I knew it would. They knew it would. Yet, even though it did, there was just something so silly about the whole thing. It was overly dramatic…over something that could’ve been solved, so simply. (Contrary to popular belief, I do not like a drama. I’m chilled. I like things to be simple and uncomplicated. However…at the same time…CORRECT. Haha.)

Then…. I was at a restaurant and sat at the table next to me, was my friends husband, on a date with his fancy lady. That was pretty awkward. It was weird to hear him openly hitting on a girl, similar to his wife, whilst she was at home looking after the kids.

But that was put infront of me, on purpose. It triggered something in my head and made me notice….

I spoke to someone about it…and the response that I got….wasn’t…well….they kinda told me off, and suggested that such behaviour was perfectly fine & should be swept under the carpet.

HHmmm….? It made me change my view on them….a little. Then something else happened, which made me 100 percent change my view on them.

How people make you feel is all that matters! We as humans are shaped by what people tell us and how people treat us, right?

Then this happened…

On the train to London, from Platform 1 at Doncaster station, I sat next to a girl called Rae. She was quiet at first and then just decided to talk to me. She was one of those girls, who knew about life and had traveled the world. She loved new places, love and life. She was simple in attire, but her soul was filled with decency.

Rae: ‘I’m actually headed to Colorado to meet my boyfriend. He lives there. He’s a geek. But I love Smart guys!! What are you doing?’

Me: ‘Oh….I’m headed to London for Lunch with my friend in Soho. We’re probs gonna talk dating & gay sex. Not so spiritual. Haha…’

Rae: ‘Haha. But still so much fun.’

We got along straight away. We had the same sick sense of humour. She used to be a ballerina.

Then she said this…

‘I had to have brain surgery because of a disease I had. I forgot everything. Lost all of my memories. When I was brought back home, with my therapist, who was helping to trigger my memories, I looked around & saw all these books on Shakespeare & wondered why?’

‘Wait! You lost all of your memories..? Have some come back?’

‘Over the last year and a half, I’ve had to re-learn everything. Not just about my family, myself or my life. But how to read and speak…everything. Don’t do a fella sorry for me face. I laugh about it all, all the time!! I could’ve died, but hey instead, I lost a few bits of my mind! Haha.’

She was the most eloquent girl I had met in a long time. She was at peace. So calm. That was after everything she had just been through…

Rae: ‘I’ll always remember YOU! Lol’

What an amazing person! In a train ride, I learnt so much about myself.

Life’s too short, so live it!

When I did Wednesday…



Just such a glorious time. I don’t know where to start? It’s simply been wonderful. So wonderful, that it almost seems as though nothing can get me down. Things are finally headed in the right direction and that alone makes me heart beam, with happiness.

I know I say it a lot…But I just feel so lucky.

Okay, so I don’t know where I left off? Lots has been a happening. I’ve been loving, liking and working…and although i’m currently blogging this from ‘Ego’ in Ackworth, I’ve actually just got back from lunch with The Wunna’s at Farmer Copleys and it was delightful.

So, Wednesday morning, I met up with ‘Meli’ who is one of the new school mums, she wanted to be aquainted with a wee bit of Wunna Land, since Ruby and her son are in the same year at school….(I’m not usually good one to one, first impressions…AT ALL. I’m a lot for a stranger to take in at first. I’m someone that a being needs to warm up to… for SURE.)

Even my now CLOSE friends, have said, that when they first met me, they were all stumped with the ‘who the *&*&£”&’ is that!!!???!!!! They didn’t like me, or didn’t THINK they would, at all. Haha. (Must be my charm.) Then once they got to know me…they all one by one decided that I was ‘rightly so’ AMAZING. (Hahaha.)

So, arrived at Farmer Copley’s in Pontefract, at around 8.30am, straight after the school run to meet ‘Meli,’ who i’ve seen in passing, a couple times, yet never ever spoke to properly in person. We were basically strangers to one another. Lol. She invited me to ‘coffee date’ with her…I figured why not? I mean, it’s hard to be a newbie in any group…So I signed myself up and with a…

Meli: ‘Oh I have a yellow bag too..’

…I blinked and we were sat at ‘Table 3’ at Copley’s, ordering the Breakfast Fritata, and tea.

I’m a Glamour Puss, so i’m all heels, tits, and sassy banter. Meli is a self proclaimed ‘hippy.’ She says she likes trainers, flip flops, sitting crossed legged at tables, teaches pilates and has the extreme discipline to not DRINK, have caffeine, or sugar.

Me: ‘Wow! Haha. How the hell have you managed to do that! All I DO is caffeine and booze. Lol’

I did notice that she had her face done though? So there’s certainly an element of glamour about her…She was cute. (She has short, cropped, textured blond hair. ) She enjoys comfort and eating out. She’s sassy, direct, speaks her mind…and she has a definite story to tell.

Although she’s open, there’s an inner dialogue that seems to be running through her mind. I reckon she’s ambitious also. (And I like that!)

But anyway…We ended up chatting for FOUR whole hours. We chatted over tea. We chatted over decaf coffee. (I ordered her second one. I requested no chocolate sprinkles, it came with them on by accident. Haha.)

Me: ‘Youv’e got to make sure it’s DECAF and has NO chocolate sprinkles. My friend doesn’t have sugar…so I can’t fuck it up. Haha.’

Girl: ‘Haha. Got it.’

It came with flipping chocolate sprinkles on. Haha. I looked like I didn’t listen. Lol. FFS. (Listening is polite!!! I’d already said the word ‘vagina’ and ‘f&&&’….so I at least needed to listen.)

Anyway, luckily she didn’t mind a bit of a swear. She just let me be me. She was certainly just her… AND THEN SHE HAD THE CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES!!

Meli: ‘It’s fine. I’ll can have them. It’s just a little.’

Me: ‘Great, now you’re gonna go insane, because i’ve given you sugar, when you specifically didn’t want any! Why do I always do shit like that!?!’

Meli: ‘Haha. You’d KNOW if I had had caffeine or sugar. Lol. THIS little bit, is fine.’

We basically talked about everything…and isn’t it just strange to have spent that much time with someone you never at al knew, before 8.30am, that morning? Crazy innit!

We learnt a lot about each other in that time and i decided to sign up for Pilates, on a Tuesday morning. Lol. (Ofcourse.)

2pm came and we needed to dash. Meli had pilates to teach and I had a school run, then a shoot off to Leeds, for acting class. (YES! I’ve started acting class. I’m back in school.)

i have no clue what Meli actually thought of me, but I guess she thought I was ace. Haha. Time flew.

Before you know it, I was dashing for the train to get to Yafta, for class.

I’m gonna do an entire blog on my ‘Yafta’ thing. But U cannot even TELL YOU, how happy and how wonderful being in that Wednesday night class made me feel.

If you don’t know what Yafta is, it’s the Yorkshire School of Film & Television Acting.’ They’re also an agency and lots of their students end up on our favourite British soaps.

I go there now..and for the first time in a long long time, I actually felt (career wise) that I was back, whole, happy and ready.

The clothes are going back on. (Stop moaning, boys!) The direction i’m in, fills my soul with that feeling of ‘this is just right/this is what I always wanted. This is ME.’

(Go with it please…Haha.)

I’d never felt so comfortable. It completely felt so right (the the jigsaw piece had finally got slotted into place.) Everyone made me feel so welcome. My class mates are brilliant. I loved every single second of learning and performing. My teacher was amazing…and believe it or not…I smashed it. Hahaha. (Ever so humble.)

The vibe was much better, because i’m used to be around people who care very much about an image, an insta like and all the things that don’t actually matter, in life. Don’t get me wrong, i know how to play that game and know i need to for what my current job entails.

In my class were real people, who’s passion was performance. People who loved to act and wanted to learn their craft, to hone their talent, to hopefully make all their dreams come true…It didn’t matter to them how long it took. They loved what they were doing…and knew that they’d be ready for when the opportunity came along.

It took be back to where I first started. Before I got lost along the way. I couldn’t be happier in my life right now and ‘DBear’ couldn’t be more supportive. He’s always there to cheerlead. He always shimmies the ‘have my back’ manner.

There’s been all sorts going on…Auditions, (thanks to those who made fun of me nervous pacing in annitv corridor..Haha. I’m tragic, I know!) There’s new changes…new directions. New! New! Exciting! New!!!

Work is phenomenal. Ruby & Junior are literally having the time of their entire lives. It makes me so happy to see them excited about life, living and waking up every morning!! They’re doing SO well at everything right now and it’s because they’re filled with utter happiness!

Everyday’s an adventure to them.

Family, love, life and doing the things your passionate about is what matters to me. ( You’ve always got to have a true passion though. It keeps ya sane, doesn’t it!! That’s the key to your personal success. Hahah. Sanity!)

Everything’s just wonderful…and the sunshine is making me even better, per wink! I really Hope life is treating you well. Hope you’re just enjoying every single second of all you have around you! It may seem shit at times. But I promise you, with a lil’bit of life magic and hope…things go better than expected!

Dan at ‘Ego’ has just come up to me and told me that he got so beautifully drunk in Leeds that he cried. He cried to the taxi driver, ALL the way home and because he had taken a golf ball from ‘Junkyard Golf’ and a bouncer had a go at him because golf balls are classed as weapons!! Made him CRY!! Hahaha!!!

Then, as I was watching two girls do the ‘Macarena’ at a station pub, in Leeds, as I waited for my 22.03 train on Platform 12A…after class…

Girls, pointing at me: ‘She’s nice her. I like her…’

(They didn’t think I heard them, but I did..)

…Ms. Murphy messaged me to tell me that she SAVED a Guinea pig’s actual life…and now because of heroism has a gammy eye.

…Ms. Murphy: ‘I’m allergic to guinea pigs!!! I saved it’s fucking LIFE!!!’

Me: ‘You probably look like the hottest chick, with a dozey guinea pig eye, EVER!’

Life is just marvellous right now. I hope yours is too! If it’s not…don’t worry…You got this. New chapters are certainly headed your way! If your life is wonderful too right now…. CELEBRATE IT!!

Love you,

Chrissie x

Summer Bants

Happy! Happy! Tuesday! I’m a in a good mood, because i’ve worked my arse off, the suns out, i’ve been so knackered, but I am panic tottering to the end of the tunnel, with a ‘yeee haa.’ (I’m not AT the end of the tunnel just yet, but i can see it…and it’s glitter gleaming baby.)

All’s good. Life is Wunnaful. Things are just ace in the Summer, aren’t they? I’m cocktailing more than necessary. But I’m fine with that. You should be too.

Everyone’s still asking me about my Facebook. AGAIN, I’m on a ban until June 8th. Everyone’s still asking me about my Twitter. It got hacked in March & Twitter did nothing to get it back for me after I reported it 100s of times (so did my friends and followers) & sent in ID. It’s an actual verified account, that someone else is now using, pretending to be me! They’re DM-ing people & because all anyone sees is a silly blue tick, they think it’s actually me!

I was going to do nothing about it. But then I felt the injustice of it was ridiculous, so a lawyer has now taken the reins…

‘It affects my brand, my earnings, my career & my character. They have access to personal photos of both my children and I.’

Anyway….(Y’know, I’ve managed to get through 38 years without ever having to buy a court outfit. However this year…ALL I seem to be doing, other than selfies…is COURT. I’ve noticed that when you do well…People go nuts and do silly things to disturb your well being…and also because they’re dickheads. Surely being one or the other is enough. You don’t need to be nuts AND a dickhead.)

That was a long ‘Anyway…’

Okay, i spent the weekend with the babies, shopping, bowling, lunching and everything in between. They were so happy, their souls were just filled with ‘ooh laa.’ I try to make the weekends magical, because obviously our lives are a changing and they’re working hard IN school AND OUT of school. Things may not be paper perfect, yet I go above and beyond to make sure that their time with ME is magical, because all we have, at the end of the day is each other and memory making. I want them to have beautiful childhoods.

Junior’s gaining confidence now. It’s like he’s woken up from this haze of insecurity & all of a sudden turned around and said, ‘I got dis…’ I’m impressed. He’s a really sensible & loving boy is Junior…so it’s good to finally see a bit of ‘gusto’ and ambition in him! He found his inner Wunna. When all the odds were against him, he stood up and showed everyone he was HERE & gonna champion it!

Ruby’s a whizz. One of those good at everything kinda beings. Shes smart, competitive and sassy. She’s tender and kind too…but she’s high maintenance.

Mum: ‘You say it like, YOU’RE not, when she’s actually JUST LIKE you???’

The odds are always on Ruby’s side. SHE puts unnecessary pressure on HERSELF to achieve. I spend my whole time taming it!

They’re both in school and doing school well. (Yet for example, straight after school on Friday, Junior then had to audition for a commercial and start filming. Sounds odd to some, but it’s now our normality. My job is to take away any stress, so it all just seems so easy, normal, fun and everyone’s happy. I make sure all is well & all is balanced.)

FYI/ He smashed it. (Ruby had already got the job.)

Junior: ‘Miss.Liddle is gonna be really happy, because she was excited that I was gonna be on the telly.’

Anyway. You get it. There’s a lot going on. My personal work schedule is insane, but I’m loving it. I’m so lucky!!!! I hope I it all goes from strength to strength now..

If i could tell you how busy I was, It’d actually relieve some stress. Haha. But I can’t. I’m just skimming things and thinking…

‘How the fuck am I gonna fit it all in?’ (That’s sounds rude. Haha)

But I always do and when I do, I feel over the moon!!

I told you that things were a changing in Wunna Land and you’re gonna see me do something that is gonna shock you. Still in entertainment. It’s not that much is a stretch. But you’re gonna be shocked…and i’m so excited.

DBear’s all good. He’s really cute. He’s all supportive and loving. He’s sexy. I like sexy people. But yes, I’m glad he’s back from his adventures for a while. But yes, He’s been a true sweetheart and well….i’m REALLY lucky to know him as a human. He is a really talented, yet a really beautiful person. My path crossing skills are amazing. Haha. No matter what, he always has my back. He’ll stand tall and adore appropriately. Haha. I like that! He’s actually a really inspiring person. He makes my eyes smile. I love to make him giggle. I can tell him everything and anything and he always finds a solution. Hot!!!

Life is actually cutting me some fucking slack!!! 38 has been ace!

And yes, i know i’ve been brief about the DBear stuff, but that is actually very deliberate.

I also got to banter with ‘TBone’ yesterday, which fills my evil soul with joy. ‘TBone’ is a really good friend of mine now and we literally CRACK EACH OTHER UP. I think you can know someone for ages, literally ages….but it takes a while for two people to properly figure each other out. We’re almost there now.

TBone: ‘You’re more filth than I am!!’

Me: ‘Stop trying to act like a Disney character. You’ve….Well this is you…’

TBone: ‘Haha. That’s brilliant!!’

He’s only lovely to me because during his own pressy ‘drama’ I was super supportive. I had his back fully!! I understood him. I never judged him. I could’ve. But I didn’t. We have a laugh and it’s just brilliant! We can be ourselves and the way we’ve grown up …in all of our industries we’re in…(this is including DBear) that is harder to find than you think!

I’ve got bored of writing this now. I’m outside and tanning. It just seems more pleasant than typing.

Ruby (yesterday): ‘I think I’m a lesbian because in secret I play with Juniors trucks.’

Me: ‘Girls can play with trucks, though?’ Being a lesbian is about who you fancy.’

Ruby: ‘Oh?’

I think I need to go enjoy the day and watch John Travolta thrust in Aerobics class.

Loving ya! Leaving ya!

Al my heart! Al?? I meant ‘ALL!!’ Haha.

Chrissie x

Working Days Off & Fun Fairs

Only I can go to the local fun fair with the babies after school and GET STUCK on a ride!! Not just ANY ride, but on the flipping GHOST TRAIN!!! (If you know me well, you KNOW that I am SHIT at anything ghosty! I screamed so much at Scare Kingdom, I fell and CRIED. Haha.) But, when there’s just you, the babies and ya ‘I not going on that ghost train’ Mum…you have to take ANOTHER one for the team.

First ride on…squashed into a moving skull, with Ruby and Junior…it’s pitch black, creepy, we’re on a rickety train rail, it’s fast but jilty, filled with flashes, strobe lighting and budget Halloween shit. The inside is kinda like a mini rollercoaster…I couldn’t decide if the ride was rickety because it was meant to be or simply because it was made poorly! Haha.

We get to the top…The ride is built on levels…We’re on a slant. We can’t see anything…and all of a sudden EVERYTHING stops. We pause with a ‘is this meant to happen?’ Then after a brief moment of confusion and stillness…I hear a muffled voice shout…

‘Hi Love. Hang on! Sorry!!! The electrics just went off!! Give me a sec!’

What the FUCK!!! Haha!!!

Who gets stuck in a ghost train!?! I panic, so the kids start panicking. Lol. It’s about to end in tears…and then all of a sudden…it POPs back into action with a JILT and we’re back up and running!!

I am never going on a ghost train again. The great ones are too scary. The budget ones break down.

Fuck! That!!!

But away from that the rest of the fun fair was alright. The kids loved it and just seeing them so happy, made my kitten heart melt. You definitely shouldn’t go on twisty rides after a wine spritzer though. I kept getting flung and spun about, to the sound of ‘Boom Shakala’ like a boozy, Asian…rag doll.

You get to see everyone’s personality on a Twister. I wanted to puke, but styled it out with over joyous screams of showgirl delight, to hide the fact that I was having a really shit time and needed to puke.

Ruby loved it at first, until it went to fast, she lost control of the ride and smoke made her hair go frizzy.

‘I want to get off NOW!!’

Me: ‘Don’t worry baby! It’s nearly done.’

Have you ever tried reassuring someone on a Twister, to ‘Boom Shakala.’ It’s hilariously insincere and impossible.

Junior….screamed all the way through it, with REAL actual JOY. He Loved it. But really!!! Then when it stopped, he laughed, danced like a gangsta and then proceeded to moonwalk on exit.

Junior: ‘What’s next!?!’

They couldn’t get up for school this morning because they chose a ‘fun night’ over a chillathon!! So I MADE them because I had to get up at 4am to work. Lol.

At 7.30am…they forced themselves up and I eventually did the school run! On time!!!

Anyway! All’s well! Things are great. It’s my day off today, so I’m shopping!!! Then I get this email, followed by phone call from a lady because the Kids have been shortlisted for a big commercial…that Ruby has roped me into.

Lady: ‘Hey Chrissie! The director had shortlisted you. So I need you all on tape now and have it sent over, by today!!’

Me: ‘They’re at school…so I can’t do it until 4.30.’

Lady: ‘Perfect! Get it too me! I need it ASAP. I also need to speak to Ruby’s Dad.’

And just like that…Day Off turned into work.

I kinda wouldn’t have it any other way. She’s been so excited to book this…so to know that she’s one step closer will make her little heart swell. She doesn’t even know yet! Pete and I are having to put ourselves on tape for her because they need a separated family and cos she’s so ethic, they figured it’d be easier to cast her real family, rather than try and find ‘as mixed’ parents, who look like her.

Things are great. Hope you’re having a wonderful Friday! I want gin! Oh and ‘DBear’ just messaged me to casually tell me he’s already back home, from his away adventures. (Surely I should’ve known that anyway?’)

But yes…shopping…lessss go!

Catch Ups, Football & Life Ruiners

Leeds lost. I was certainly devastated, but now i’m over it. Haha. I recovered quite quickly. For a moment last night, I became a football hooligan, in the name of ‘playoffs’ and winning. We didn’t win. It’s really annoying!!!! Haha.

KatyP: ‘I swear Chrissie was Derby’s half time talk, because she used to roll around on the floor like that at school, simply to get out of rounders.’

Me: ‘Haha, yeah i’m a pro at dramatic fall overs and painful looks. I’m also a pro at wasting time. I should be playing!! Haha. COME ON, LEEDS!!!’

‘Dbear’ even watched it from countries away, because I made him. Saying that, he would’ve watched it anyway. Footy is his ‘ting.’ All he did was piss himself laughing at my despair.

‘Me: ‘I’ve never sworn so much in my LIFE!!! I’M SO STRESSED OUT. It’s too much pressure.’

DBear: ‘Hahaha. That’s why it’s so exciting to watch and play!!!!’

Me: ‘I’m SO stressed!!! Oh shit! Wait! We’ve scored!!! Fuck! Yes!!’

DBear: ‘Hahahaha…’

I’m competitive and I hate to lose. I’ve lost quite frequently throughout my life. Lol.I never like it. Not any time. I always do that thing where you say, ‘everything happens for a reason,’ just to make yourself feel better!

I don’t throw tantrums though. I just cry and take it out on everyone else, or get cross at myself for a bit. Haha. Let’s say, I usually just focus on the stuff that i’ve won. I block out the losings, with banter, laughter and wine pours, because I’m smart.

I’m just a passionate (annoying) girl.

I will tell you that the last thing i need right now, (because I have a football hooligan headache, hangover…) is a bunch of Geordies, shouting really loudly near by breakfast table…whilst hitting on me, with their 10am lager eyes! (I am out at breakfast before work. Geordies haven’t just magically appeared around my breakfast table at home. Haha.)

I do love Geordies because they’re loud and fun. Yet, right now my head can’t deal with this selection of Geordies…because…we’ll…they’re loud and fun.

On top of that, I’m trying to each my avocado thing and Harriet decides to reassure me that I AM mental and having a breakdown. I’ve literally confused myself due to a poor outfit choice of trackie sports bottoms and pink fluffy ‘sort of’ sliders.

First of all I thought it was my old age, sending me ‘doo lolly.’ But it’s not…I’m now flash backing my entire life, as it hits me all at once…(Haha..) and thinking why the hell did I do that!?!

Harriet: (@hazribo) ‘BNP husband. That was the first clue that you were having a mental breakdown!! Haha.’

Me: ‘How the HELL have I managed to once have a BNP husband in my life??? Haha. Wtf!!!’

I’ve known Harriet for years!!! She’s right! I’m losing it!!! At least I’m three times divorced now. I hate flash backing my life. I’m definitely going to publicly blame her for ruining my life!’

Hazribo: ‘I add to it. Not ruin it.’

Me: ‘You’re right. I ruined it myself. Haha.’

It’s not like I need any help! It’s a piss easy task! I don’t ruin things lightly. I ruin them good and proper by accident. Haha.

I also bumped into my friend Louise yesterday.

‘Chrissie!!!’

Me: ‘Oh shit! Sorry! I didn’t realise it was you!’

We had the best impromptu catch up under the sun. She was telling me l about her new man. He keeps buying her the world…and she’s complaining about it? Haha.

Me: ‘I don’t see the problem. But I’m not a good person for you to ask! I’m materialistic. I CAN be bought!!Lol’

Louise: ‘He bought me a Range Rover. But when we had a fight, he called me a fucking GOLD DIGGER. He threw that in my face, mid anger. So now…I refuse to drive it and just drive my own car.’

Me: ‘Did you ASK for the Range Rover?’

Louise: ‘No. He just keeps buying stuff…then getting mad. Haha.’

Me: ‘Haha. Men are SO strange??’

I love Louise because she’s honest, straight talking and filled with that Northern Pride. I’d just say ‘Thanks’ and drive the car about. Haha. I thought it was rude to turn down gifts. 🙂

Everyone has a ‘wish list.’ I just never get to purchase any of mine because Ruby & Junior totter up to it, kick it out the way and plonk their own wishes before mine! Haha.

Me: ‘Well I was going to treat myself to that new bag, but instead I’ve bought 43 pick n mixes, a paddling pool, a hotel night, a pet, a bunch of slime and half of The Entertainer toy store!’

Get the violins out!!!!

Ruby: ‘She never says no and means it. She works extra hard and buys everything for us. BUT THEN makes us work hard, like….get a special mention at school or something.’

Junior: ‘She doesn’t give us the stuff until we do well at school. Even if we’ve been stung by a bee…she won’t give it us!!!!’

Hahaha. He stood on a bee. It stung him on the foot and then proceeded to go sting Ruby’s bum. I felt really bad so I cuddled, ice packed and cured him. Apparently toys, not ointments or love are the only things that can cure bee stings.

Silly me.

Anyway, life is wonderful. I’m working hard. I’m influencing a lot and I have exciting ‘up-comings’ approaching!!!

Stay tuned!!!

Swings, Balloons & Calm Downs

I’m sooo tired, but it’s funny. Sunshine fun, juicy gins, long evening walks, family time, filming, 5am wake ups….and old age, is doing me over.

I was on the Capital Breakfast show this morning. (Just on the phone though, after the school run, with Ronan Kemp…as the London Breakfast show, has taken over the Yorkshire one. However, Adam & Jojo are now on at ‘drive time.’ )

Today’s topic was Wednesday Weirdness and as a result peeps had to share their WEIRD Celebrity dreams.

I’m there in Ackworth, with Ruby & Junior, doing the school run in joggers, fluffy pink sliders, BUT with my whole entire face done, like i’m headed to Vegas, my dangly diamond earrings in AND my Lovisa hand jewelry. Haha I weirdly COULD be arsed to do my face and decorate my body. However, couldn’t be arsed to get dressed appropriately and look presentable.

Wait a second, Ronnie’s (@ronniecwoo) sent me a message on Insta…

Ronnie: ‘So does Tuesday *&*&*&** or Wednesday &*&*&*& work better for you?’

(I’m so excited to see him.)

Anyway, long story short. I’m waffling. Producer Tom from Capital calls…tells me, to tell my ‘Idris Elba’ story…and with a..

‘Pull over, get ya phone off speaker, stay on the line and I’ll chat to you on the show in a minute…’

So, i’m stood on the side of the road, half asleep, but trying to get my ‘upmh’ on, looking like a mixture of RuPaul’s Drag Race and ‘the slums,’ with my phone pressed to my ear, waiting to tell my Idris Elba story to Ronan.

Basically, I once dreamt that I was on a boat with Idris Elba, in the sunshine. I was in a bikini, he was just in his pants! (Haha! Wahey!) Anyway, he was teaching me how to take a good selfie, but I kept being rubbish at it, so he got mad at me, I cried and to make me feel better he gave me a cheese sandwich.

Haha…That is an actual recurring dream…that I have. If you know me personally, you will know this dream. It’s creepy and beautiful all at the same time!

But, what on this EARTH is WRONG with my mind!!???!! Why would it waste such a wonderful DREAM OPPORTUNITY, with ‘The Sexiest Man Alive,’ on a cheese sandwich.

Anyway and ofcourse, because this is Wunna Land and only strange things happen here, I got to tell the entire NATION this morning.

I literally always end up in THE BEST situations. Haha.

What I actually wanted to tell you about was my little evening trip to Rogerthorpe Manor last night. Rogerthorpe Manor is actually my local, so I figured that the kids and I would take a sunny walk up for dinner and casual playing on the swings. (I pretended to be a cowboy all the way up.)

I love it at Rogerthorpe. It’s chilled. I hardly ever show up there if i’m honest. Yet, I’ll certainly be headed there more often now. It’s beautiful on a warm sunny evening. (An old man walked up to me and started hitting on me…I knew he was going to because I saw his look, approach and him running through his actions, in his head. I’ll given him points for braveness. But he obviously wasn’t going to win this. I mean, as soon as he was one line in…

Hey, you’re stunning…’

The kids came thundering towards him and started whacking him with swings because they hate men talking to me. Haha! They’re ace!!)

Then he told me that he had a ghost in his shower…and just like that life picked up his path and redirected back to his room, to never cross with mine again. Lol.

Anyway, the kids and I had the most delicious dinner. The food is amazing at Rogerthorpe. Good portions. Really tasty! They loved it. Then we all walked back outside to play in the gardens, with the bug hotels. I had a wine in the sun, after signing an autograph for the lovely Glenn.

Me: ‘Just a white wine with ice please…Am I able to take it over to the swings. ‘

Glenn: ‘Hi. Of course. Yes. I just wanted to ask if I could have your autograph. I’m a big fan!!!’

It made me feel really special because I never expect it now and it was kind. However, i’m noticing that I am getting stopped quite a lot these days. Everywhere. In bars. On trains. In restaurants. Everywhere. It’s happening so much, (which i’m delighted by) that Ruby is now noticing…because she’s with me always…and she’s absolutely wondering why, people want to picture take with her Mum?

I love getting stopped, (never be afraid to ask me.) It makes me feel like i’m making some kind of impact, somewhere, somehow and on some people? Haha. It makes me feel of worth. Haha. It just has a feel good factor about it… kinda like the pink fluffy sliders I have on right now. (I want to build a shrine to them and worhsip them appropriately.)

I will say, that I also like it because it’s firstly making my daughter notice…So it make me feel ‘bouji’ in front of her. Plus, it actually makes HER feel special.

Then I saw a giant red ‘Virgin’ hot air balloon. It was literally so close it was HUGE…and then that was it. I wanted to be on it. I demanded an ‘adventure’ and I sent out DM’s to others to give me an adventure.

‘OMG!! WHY AM I NOT ON THAT HOT AIR BALLOON!!???!!’

(I loved how it just hovered over traffic, so low, that it looked utterly surreal. Then it just disappeared! I want! I want! I will GET!! Adventure button PRESSED!!!! HAHAHA.)

DBEAR: ‘Hahaha. Soon.’

It was just the most beautiful evening with my babies. They beamed. Little Junior’s heart literally filled with joy.

Miss.Murphy: ‘You actually never cook. Haha.’

Me: ‘Well…it’s like this…Serve them shit food…OR actual edible stuff that they will enjoy. Haha.’

Miss.Murphy: ‘Hahah. I wish someone would take me for dinner every night. Living the dream.’

Me : ‘Haha. You have to come out my vagina…then it becomes a life necessity.’

I love Miss.Murphy! She makes me smile!!!

Oh my gosh! I forgot to tell you that yesterday after I had taken my dad out for lunch. (I love my dad. He’s the cutest lil’Asian. He’s adorable…like a warm hearted, gangsta, teddy bear.)

I watched a bunch of kids (all brothers and sisters) run out of Toy Town with handfuls of toys, that they had been instructed to steal by their MUM!!!

What!!!

I was actually on the phone to my mum and one of the kiddie thieves had actually stopped me and asked for a selfie. Lol. I don’t think that’s the correct protocol for a criminal.

Out of nowhere I then heard one of the little boys say…

‘That guy in the blue shirt is a cunt.’

I look to my right and the guy in the blue shirt is my friend Scott! Haha. He’s fuming. He’s the manager at Toy Town. He running out, stopping the kids and demanding that they take all the toys back!!! They’re mums in his face. Security show up. Scott’s professional but looks like he’s about to EXPLODE with anger! Haha.

Then as security begin questioning the mum…He turns around and has the cheek to say to Scott..

‘Who do you think you are!?! Shouting at kids!!!’

That pissed me off…so there I was with an ‘Eh?’ Followed by a protective RANT!! I mean honestly WHO does she think SHE IS, telling her kids to steal for her!?!

Scott now looks like he’s about to go absolutely mental…Haha. So I used my ‘she’s not worth it’ utter charm and like the hero that I am, I calmed his tender nerves with peace & love….

Then i called her a ‘Scruff Bag.’ Haha.

I mean, honestly…don’t call Scott names, when you’ve just instructed your kids to steal everything they could get away with!

After that, all went back to normal…

Scott: ‘How are you, anyway?’

Me: ‘I’m good, thanks.’

Scott: ‘Thank you for calming me down. Lol.’