And just when you think life is going to be all dandy and delightful, whilst you’re making jelly for your little baby girl, lost in a midst of a comedic flair and ooh laa, before she arrives home from her busy day at nursery….someone throws a spanner in the works and with a fabulous yet rather slippy ice block, middle fingers you with a rather horrific and not even glitzy ‘now deal with this!’ (GOD! MY LIFE! UGH! I mean, i was making JELLY for crying out loud. Can a glamour puss not get cut some slack!)
So..I’m a mum. We know this. I’m also a good mum. Another fact we all know. Keiran has stormed off for the day at around 1.30pm to go watch the the Formula 1 racing and to have a few drinks with Phil. All is well, all is dandy, i’m enjoying my peace and loving my alone time. I really needed it because I was beginning to feel suffocated. I had this brilliant afternoon of just being ME! I worked hard, i did whatever I WANTED to, I plugged in a little Hip Hop and after getting things ready for the arrival of my delicious Baby Ruby, (who I missed ever so much) I danced to the sound of life. I felt FREEEEEE. I mean, i even took it so far that i curled my hair simply so i felt more comfortable whilst watching ‘Real Housewives…’ 🙂
The afternoon glides by merrily and i’m really happy because I haven’t tossed off my day and instead worked hard sorting out my new Social Media business. People who work hard, get ahead. People who believe they will make it…do. Life was dipped in a glow of love and excitement and when all was done, I leapt onto my sofa and watched a bit of diamond encrusted ‘Housewife’ telly, as I eagerly awaited the arrival of Ruby.
Now, Keiran….who has left for Formula 1 and drinking at 1.30pm, has told me that he is going to make sure he picks Ruby up from nursery at 5.30pm. That’s all good, I’m happy that it’s all planned and well the afternoon as flown and it’s now 5pm.
Ruby is only ever picked up from nursery by Me, Keiran, My Mum or Pete and for security reasons and when any of the others do pick her up, they know to immediately drop her off home with me, yet if they are wanting to keep her for a few hours of play, or dinner or whatever it may be, I am either told in advance, or my permission is asked, before pick up time. This even includes my own MUM, Ruby’s doting Grandma. She will never ever take Ruby anywhere without notifying me first, or asking if it’s okay, meaning that i always know where my daughter is, who’s she’s with and what she’s doing…which is every mother’s perogative. It’s common sense really. I would never take someone elses child anywhere without informing their parent. I mean, even Pete will make sure I know where Ruby is at all times due to our breakup. It’s called manners.
Okay, so i haven’t seen Keiran since 1.30pm, but i know he’s drinking and watching cars with Phil and I know that although i was happy, we ended our last words on a very angry argument. I didn’t know how long the Formula 1 race was lasting and I didn’t know where he was…whether he was out watching it in a pub or at Phil’s watching it at home…and because he never likes to tell me the details. I didn’t even know where he was or if he was still watching it at all.
I look at the clock and it now strikes 5.30pm, so I know that he has gone to nursery to pick Ruby up, so I calculate a reasonably time for her arrival and I usually give people approximately half and hour to get her back to me, form that time, as Badsworth is literally 10 minutes away. Either way, if there are any changes…I will always recieve a text, a call or somehow be informed. No text, no call…no nothing. So i assume all is well and that I will be seeing her in a few minutes.
It’s now 5.45pm. I’m watching ‘Real Housewives…’ yet half wondering where my little ‘Ba’doobie’ (what i call ‘Ruby’) is..? I’m still calm, yet a little concerned as I don’t know where Keiran even is, as he hasn’t text me since 1.30pm to say where he was or that he was on his way to get Ruby…everything was done on an assumption. However, I don’t get fidgety yet, as like I say I always give everyone half an hour before I make the call. Plus, she’s usually home before then.
It’s now 6pm. I’m expecting Ruby to walk through the door, as no other plans have been made and I haven’t been informed any differently…and my phone finally rings. It’s Keiran.
Right, this is the bit that pissed me OFF!
He calls to simply tell me that he picked Ruby up at 5.30pm and that he’s taken her back to Phils to play…she’s been there for the last half an hour and well she’s having a great time.
WHAT??? I went APE!
Bottom line! YOU DON’T TAKE SOMEONE ELSES CHILD ANYWHERE, WITHOUT ASKING PERMISSION FIRST OR INFORMING THEM AHEAD OF TIME OF WHERE THEIR CHILD WILL BE!!
He picked her up, didn’t bother to tell me as he was doing so, and took her back to Phil’s so he could continue ‘hanging out,’ yet placed it under the disguise of ‘so she could play’ with Phil’s little girl. He simply called to tell me AFTER he had done it and it had been going on for half an hour and had no intention of bringing her back immediately. The call was just to tell me where she was! WHAT!
HE DIDN’T EVEN ASK ME IF IT WAS OKAY!
So, I screamed at him down the phone, explained that he didn’t tell me where she was, or what she was doing beforehand and didn’t even ask permission to take MY DAUGHTER anywhere and that he was immediately to bring her home!
Any normal guy without agenda, would immediately APOLOGISE, not realize what they’ve just done and within minutes have her coated up and on her way home to me.
Nope! Not Keiran,. He decides to argue it out with me. YEAH! CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT! He tries to argue out where he believes my daughter should be. He only took her back there so he could continue drinking and hanging out! She’s been at nursery all day, she’s played all day, she plays at home anyway. He doesn’t get to decide what she does, without my permission or without telling me and simply because he is her STEP DAD. That is MY DAUGHTER. MY FLESH AND BLOOD. MY child! He gets no final decision on her whereabouts and like everyone else in the family needs to understand that he’s not in charge of making decisions for her! He has to go through me. I mean, she a child, MY child and I need to know where she is and what she is doing AT ALL TIMES. Just picking her up and taking her wherever you want without INFORMING me is a giant NO NO. Everyone knows that! It’s common sense.
AND THEN when you are told, by the child’s OWN MOTHER to bring her home immediately because you have failed to inform her of where her baby is beforehand and you argue it out because you’re simply stubborn, want to act like your some kind of ‘boss man’ and DON’T WANT TO BE TOLD…Well I just couldn’t believe it. It was like he was then KEEPING HER FROM ME..and out of spite.
If I say, ‘Bring her home now.’ The answer should be ‘Okay, i’m so sorry, on our way.’ NOT, ‘..she’s fine here. You’re acting like i’m some random guy. I’m her Dad.’
No, you’re her STEP DAD and it doesn’t even matter if you’re her real dad, her grandma, her brother, sister or whatever….that is MY DAUGHTER. If i’m concerned about the whereabouts of my child, then a DECENT person would firstly calm me down and assure me that she was okay, apologise for not informing or asking my permission, then bring her home immediately. Not FIGHT me, tell me ‘she’s fine and staying there‘ with an ‘are you for real,’ and decide to bring her back whenever he they wish and simply because they want to stay out longer, with their friend. WHAT!
I was fuming. That’s my little girl! He sincerely underestimated his power in our relationship, when it comes to my daughter. How rude of him. I texted him with an ‘Under no circumstances EVER do u take MY daughter somewhere without telling me where she IS!”
He still didn’t budge and continued to tell me that she was ‘fine there’ and that I was only being like this because I was pissed off. Pissed off? When it comes to the safety or whereabouts of my child i am more than PISSED OFF. I have a right to know and it is my duty as her mum to make sure she is okay. THEN for him to have the cheek to pretty much tell me ‘no’ and prolong the ‘bring back’ time…OMG I LOST IT WITH HIM! All he kept saying was ‘I’m her dad.’
I assured him that if he didn’t return her back to me immediately that he could be in serious trouble. This was around 6.10pm. By 6.20pm…he had her home. Thank God. I had my baby home.
He still fought with me then, stating that he was her ‘Dad’ and could make decisions for her and that I’m fine leaving her with it when it suits me. I explained to him that I have NO PROBLEM leaving Ruby WITH HIM, because I KNOW WHERE SHE FLIPPING IS. The point of the whole thing was that he picked her up and took her somewhere and didn’t tell me where she was or even ask whether is was at all okay! It literally took him an hour to get her home to me..because he wanted to argue it out. He even then…when i voiced my concern .tried to KEEP HER FROM ME.
Not happening. I don’t know what’s wrong with him right now, but he certainly must feel a loss of control and a loss of power, when he tried to demean me yesterday and then then with him doing this whole Ruby thing.
After he brought her home and we argued a briefly a little more for a jolly 5 minutes, he did a ‘Fine’ and walked out the door, as I pushed him out the door and told him to not come back. I’d had enough. He tried to blame anything he could, but not himself. He blamed me, then my brother, then my mother…in fact everything he could. He took no responsibility for it, called me names etc…Didn’t even apologise. Hasn’t even to this point. I was just glad to have her home. She looked at me and smiled with delight. It just felt wonderful.
I don’t care what anyone says, my daughter is super precious to me and I believe that I have the right to know where she is at all times. He doesn’t get to make decisions for her and he certainly doesn’t get to play stupid ‘keep her from’ me games. And why? Just because we had an argument and he wanted to stay out longer with his friend. How awful!
As he was on his way out he said, ‘I’m her Dad when you want me to be and fine I want do anymore nursery runs for you.’
I kicked him out.
He came back hours later, when Ruby and I were in bed. We actually had the most lovely evening together, filled with laughter, love and jigsaw puzzles. She giggled and wobbled and danced and I realized how great our bond was. It was actually funny because when I closed the door on him, (mildy, as I tend not to fight infront of Rubes) she shook her head and said, ‘Naughty Daddy.’ Lol. Awww…
He slept on the sofa last night,which is where he will be staying. All i could think about were all the bad things I had gone through with him and how angry I was at him.
This morning, i think he believed it would blow over…and without him having to apologise. Infact, i think he thought that I would actually NEED him for a nursery run, because with my mum being away, i would have no other options.
WRONG! I’m Chrissie Wunna! I told him last night that there were no more nursery runs by him. He obviously didn’t take me seriously. This morning when I was getting her changed, I had to pop downstairs to grab her a clean vest. He shouted from the living room with a ‘I’m i taking her to nursery?’ He was calm, yet it was obvious that we were still fighting.
I picked up a folded vest and said, ‘No, Pete is.’
He got up in confusion, as he must’ve thought that i couldn’t sort something out without him…and said, ‘I cannot believe you would call Pete to take her.’
I simply and quietly replied with an ‘What? Why? I called her own father to take her.. I don’t get the problem?’ Then I went back upstairs to get my delicious and rather chipper Baby Ruby dressed for her day of play.
Keiran came up to have another brief go at me…same stuff…more name blame pushing, no apology…
I took Ruby downstairs and well after putting in her pig tails and having a bit of a cuddle, she ate cheese and Pete arrived for the nursery run.
That’s been my morning so far! Jeeze. Keiran and I aren’t even talking. I’m working and blogging. He spent half the morning laid in bed on his own. Now he’s managed to get up and watch telly on the sofa as i’m upstairs.
I’m just not one to put a Step Dad in charge on my own daughter, there are rules that he has to stick to and well she is my responsibility. He can say whatever he likes. But when it comes down to the crunch…i’m more than good to her and always, always there for her. My love for her is beyond the universe and no matter how much he tries to compete with the fact that he loves her..which i’m sure he does…his love for her doesn’t even one ounce measure up to the way I feel for her.
I mean for crying out loud, he tries to bring up the past and ramble on about how he’s ‘Daddy’ when it suits me. Hardly…there has been plenty of times when he has chosen to stay out and party over be there for her, or with her. I would never ever do that. I stay home, with my daughter…ALL THE TIME. In fact I even remember that he even said, ‘Well she’s not even mine and i take good care of her. I don’t have to,’ when he didn’t bother to show up for her Baby Competition, because he wanted to stay out.
He even wrote a list of around 60-70 things that he was ‘thankful’ for the other day. This was when he was so into The Secret and practicing it properly..in that whole 60-70 things…and this is how much he cares for Rubes…Baby Ruby didn’t make the cut. He didn’t even mention her once. I made the list, his brothers, sisters, nans and everything else made the list. The ‘Bump’ even made the list…in fact ‘hot tubs and GOLF’ even made the list…but in 60 things he was grateful for…Ruby never did.
I weirdly remember that and because if I was to make a list…she would be ym number 1. (So now…lets measure love.)