Amazing day, Parking & Finding ‘not my’ sex toys

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I’m having an AMAZING DAY! Weirdly…where ever I have managed to ventured, I’ve been stopped and adored by Wunna fans. It’s sort of a time when I need such behaviour around me to help me remember that I once was the Queen of Ponty. πŸ™‚ (If there ever could be.)

But before I get into all that, remember that I had completely forgotten that I had a midwife appointment today…well I managed to remember at the very last minute, so after a quick clean around…(hate cleaning..it’s ruined my nails..don’t have manicures, they don’t last, they’re rubbish,) I groomed, then hop, skipped jumped early into the car to get my pretty self to see if my ‘bump-a-lump’ was all fine and dandy.

Now, i think i’ve become an alright driver. I’m not finding it difficult, i’m sailing through the streets with a smile, yet can I HELL park in a dodgy spot. I call ANY spot that I may find awkward dodgy, when really and of course its’ ME who should own the title of inadequate. I drove into the surgery’s car park, thinking ‘ah this’ll be a breeze’..but hella no! It was like a ziggy-zaggy maze of God knows what? All the leftover spots where at weird angles and shapes and there was a man glaring at me, from his windscreen window, with added the pressure. I mean, when you have googly eyes watching you, you can’t just ‘hit’ into something and shrug it off with a cute ‘Oopsie.’ You have to make like you’re a decent person and pull ‘concerned’ faces and make like you’re going to do something heroic about the situation. I reversed, I drive forward, I tried to squeeze in and out of tight spots, driver through spaces..all sorts. It was misery. In fact, I was so shit at parking that the fact that I had set off early to see the midwife meant nothing, as I ended up being late simply because I was glamour pussing around in the car outside, going backwards and forwards, whilst…swearing.

Now, I could’ve let this all get to me and start hitting the wheel in a tantrum…it was hot outside. Yet I figured that might bring on the labour and i’m not giving birth in a car park, that’s not glitzy enough. I’d rather gauge my own eyes out. Instead, I looked at the googly eyed man, who was judging me…smiled, with ‘Diva’ and then reversed my car out of that block and into another dodgy parking spot, that was on a slope. I abandoned it upon the slop, outside a chip shop, turned the engine off, then thought ‘fuck it’ and had a happy dance in my now parked car to ‘Feel the Moment’ by Pit bull and Miss.Aguilera. I think I might have sang a bit too…it was good weather. I deserved a cheery moment.

The midwife was running late anyway,s o I didn’t get in there until much later. When I did, she felt my bump up, explained how quiet it all was without Keiran and then told me that the baby was in the exact right position, engaged and well ready to do his do, whenever HE felt like it. His heart beat was strong as ever. The only thing that she was concerned about was my iron levels. I always have tired blood cells. It’s rubbish. So, I have to go see the consultant at the hospital to make sure i’m all dandy to ‘push-push’ this bambino out! Alls good! Happy. The poor blood thing doesn’t bother me, that happened last time. I had to stay in for an extra two days attached to a drip and a wee bag. It was very sexy. Now, I just WAIT, for the little boy to make an appearance. Lovely. I’m in no rush.

Okay, so then I go to Co-Op to grab a few groceries for dinner and snacking. Nothing good as entered my system today. Yet i’m not too bothered about that. I love custard doughnut moments. I’m enjoying pregnancy snacks right now and well I need to eat more to keep my energy up right now.

Picked everything I could up. I go in there every day now, so all the staff know me and delight in my appearance. They are all waiting for the birth of my little boy, with eager eyes. Once Β I have shoved everything in my basket…far too much for what I needed, I bumped into a girl with a red buggy. She saw me, did a double-take, stopped me with a ‘Hi’ and said, ‘You’re Chrissie right? You know Wazza, don’t you?’

I smiled and happily said ‘yes.’ The she said, ‘You probably won’t know me, but I know you, you’re famous, I see you all the time and can’t believe you’ve stopped to talk to me. I’m so happy. You look gorgeous. I can’t believe how hot you are. Your bump is SO perfect. OMG, you’re beautiful, you make me SICK,’ and all in one breath! Now, I love adoration and that girl gave it to me. She’s now my favourite. Not you. Her. πŸ™‚ She said everything right. Yeah..she was a bit pissed, because when she went for the glory hug, in disbelief that I had spoken to her, she kinda smelt like booze…a smell that I have missed, so I sort of appreciated it. Then she rubbed my bump, like I was Buddha and kept saying ‘ Wow, wow…you’re gorgeous.’ πŸ™‚ We were stood by mops. That’s how my life used to be. I kinda forgot. I liked it. I think it was a sign from the good lord to remind me that if I wanted, I could still venture back to such a phase.

Anyway, she knew Wazza and used to Roller Derby with his ex, she is mother to 2 of our friend’s children and has an 11 month boy, who was asleep in the buggy (beautiful he was) and has just gotten LEFT by the father of that child, because she was diagnosed with Post Natal Depression. We were on an isle to our selves and something that was so ‘all about me-off the telly, wow-wow-woo-wee, we have the same friends,’ turned into something so real. I watched her have a baby breakdown with me right by her side, inbetween the mops and the cleaning products…in good lighting at least. I sort of felt bad for her because she’s had a dodgy love life. I looked at her, cuddled her and said, ‘You’re hot, you just have a bad picker, when it comes to men.’ She saw herself as fat and frumpy and just wanted to be loved…hence why she smelt like booze. Her eyes were filling up, as she stopped and said, ‘It’s be nice to just have someone to love, or love me…and have a nice man.’ I replied with an awful cliche, the ‘he’ll come when you’re not looking for him’ line. I hate that line. But because that happened to me…I now believe in true love. Yet you can only be gifted with true love when you adore yourself appropriately…which means more smiles, less vino. I might vino up…but as most of you know…I think VERY highly of myself. πŸ™‚

I couldn’t believe that she was so happy that I stopped to speak to her? Why wouldn’t I? I’m confused? I enjoy the fame game…and I especially enjoy it when I feel people be they in the industry, a close friend, or someone on the same isle in a supermarket feels inspired. She then finished off with a cuddle, a belly rub, a tell Wazza you saw me, I remember that he used to thing really highly of you…and a ‘we should hang out after the baby.’ Then she puuled herself together, giggled and said ‘It meant so much to me that you said I was ‘hot.’ Aww! Lol.

She was really lovely to me…and it was good to see her have a moment, at the same time as it feeling great to feel back in the limelight again. I love it. (Look at me, turning it all about me again. But whatever, this is chrissiewunna.com πŸ™‚ ) I felt bad that her boyfriend had left her when she had just been diagnosed with Post Natal Depression…when she needed him the most? I mean, men need to MAN UP. I’m sick of hearing little pansy boys moan because their girlfriends, are being hormonal, or bitchy, or moody or anything else they grumble on about. The fact that they haven’t got it yet, disturbed me. WOMEN…ALL WOMEN AT SOME STAGE IN THEIR LIFE ARE LIKE THAT…and more than once. Deal with it. Her boyfriend actually left her for another…when his son was only 2 months old. How awful and just because he couldn’t cope. Be a MAN. Be a FATHER. What is wrong with men these days. They can’t handle helping out someone who they’re meant to love, when she needs love more than anything. So what if she was shouty, A real man will know how to make it better. Instead of making it worse. Men are childish..Not all of you. Some of you are amazing. I know a lot of amazing men.

Anyhow, I bought my goods, waved at everyone, who wished my bump love, bought a lottery ticket, (I STILL haven’t checked my hundreds of them, I need to) and left, with two bags full and a skip in my kitten step. She made me fell really good. In fact, i’ve had a really amazing day. I sang all the way back in the car home, yet realized that I was on ‘red’ so filled up at the petrol station, where a little asian lady, AGAIN, stopped me as I walked in to pay and said, ‘You’re Chrissie, right? Not long for the baby now?’ CRAZY innit!

So, then I got caught up in a conversation with the next young lady, who filled my heart (code for ‘ego’) with love. I just don’t get today? I’m a star. πŸ™‚

We talked about the arrival of the bump, she talked about Ruby, then said she knew of my mum and dad. Then she said something bizarre…she looked at my pump…looked at me, still chatting away..I had paid already and she said, ‘I’m tired of having to work, I’m bored of it. I want a life like yours. I know you probably don’t work, I mean look at you. You’re so lucky. I told my boyfriend that I didn’t want to work anymore and he told me to FUCK OFF.’ Lol

Erm…I’m not sure what persona I give off, or what she knows about me, or assumes about me…but it’s interesting isn’t it? I’m not working right now, but I’m preggo and due in 4 weeks. I’m not swanning around spending millions and during money during a conga line? Again..i’m confused. As soon as I’ve had the baby and nurtured him into the world..I’m going back to work. Double work. Normal work and entertainment. One day it will all be glitzy yet right now and for the last 2 years, it’s been very normal, due to raising babies and baby making. It’s about to change and it will be a shock to everyone’s system. But i’m coming back with VA VOOM. Yet, i’m glad that she thought highly of me and that I was super fabulous. Made me and my ego feel great again and once more, I hopped, skipped and a jumped out of the petrol station and into my car, to drive home. The ‘Feel the Moment’ song was on again, so yeah…I had a sing song again. I am beaming. I’m having an ACE DAY!!!

Early today nursery text me saying that Ruby had had a fall down into a wire house…lol….and banged her head. However after a ‘cold compress’ is fine and playing again. That’s my girl. Trust Rubes to shimmie on down, into some wire house? THEN, as i was trying to exercise my domestic skills. They’re poor at their best. In the bedroom, as I was changing the sheets, a bag belonging to Keiran poured open…it had shorts on the top of them and an Ann Summers plastic bag. The Ann Summers plastic open, due to my clumsiness and out of it fell (this was not a good moment) a blue rabbit cock ring, with a bullet attached ot his head, meaning it pleasures a women also. AND a pink, rabbit shaped BULLET! OMG! Holy SHIT. What an awful thing to find and not awful because they’re sex toys. I’m pro sex toys, i think they keep you out of trouble and well they’re pleasing. But AWFUL BECAUSE they don’t belong to me and I had never seen them in my entire lives, meaning he used them on another GIRL, be it in the past or whatever! Either way,not nice to find…especially around open condom packets and random Pina Colada condoms. So, then I specifically remember him saying to me that he had NEVER experimented with sex toys before me…and well…now it doesn’t seem like that was the truth now does it.

The thing is, in moments of that sort, you kinda have to just say nothing and let it pass. I sure as hell didn’t come with a virginal sticker attached to my ‘lady part.’ when I began this relationship. We all know that. But i haven’t lied to him about my sex life before him, I just don’t mention it ever…or all the boys i’ve dated (because i’m clever. πŸ™‚ ) Plus, i’ve never disrespected him when it’s come to boys in my sexy past. I don’t talk to any boys i’ve encountered, which is more than I can say for him and I certainly don’t go out of my way to secretly humiliate him when it comes to such a subject. I don’t like that he lied though. It’s very telling of his character, when it comes to women. Hmm…

This is why I shouldn’t clean…

Ps, Every night this week for the last three days, i’ve asked Keiran to do something for me, at the end of the evening to see if he will…every night so far he has failed. Hmmm….

 

 

 

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