I do actually *wiggle*…like in real life. I noticed me accidentally *wiggling* at TGI’s Fridays in Leeds yesterday, whilst stuffing potatoe skins, chicken fajita, with a side of booze, in my face. I place a delicious *clump* of mouthful into my face, then whilst i chew, i wiggle merrily, like a happy, yet mildly seductive elf, who might eat marshmellows on rainbows. Even my food dances it’s way to my thighs! (BE ME!!) It’s hard being a Glamour Puss. All my lumps and bumps get the better of me. However, luckily, they accidentally *pop* out at all the right times, then with a *giggle* a Carry on face and a *hair toss*…you find yourself hooked on the old Wunna charm. *Takes her bra off and swings it with a wink*
Okay, everyone wants to know what i’ve been doing, because i accidentally pulled a ‘Houdini.’ However, not because i’m shit and mainly because…(wait for it…drumoll) I’ve been working. Yet before i get into all that, let me tell you, that i’ve made buddies with a former homeless girl, who now works at kfc, whilst she discovered me, sat next to her at the train station. I’ve been naked…a lot. I’ve made a lot of money very very fast. I’ve hit my head on a bunk bed, mid comedy sex with Loverboy. (I was tying to be rather sexy to…yet the bunk bed, got the better of me. On and we’re doing amazingly, by the way. Wedding bells much.) I’ve jiggery pokeried. Been trailing in at 4-6am every morning. I’ve in love. I’m winking. I’m pouting, i’m being getting mistaken for Tila Tequila, and i’ve not only on the telly in America right now, with a makeup line on it’s way, but i’m trying to make a beautiful baby, (out of sex, not macaroni,) i’m sick of my Blackberry ball, i tried to put Loverboys balls in my mouth after a cheeky bedroom lapdance (just made him laugh, after a wanky) and Jeremy Kyle has assured me i’m going to die, due to alcohol consumption. I’m a kitty cat. I have 9 lives. Infact, i feel like i’ve been living 9 lives in 9 days. I LOVE MY LIFE right now, and well I LOVE Leeds. It’s the new place to be.
Anyway, one merry evening, it suddenly dawned on me that my life was far too perfect, which although keeps me filed unde ‘peace and hamony’ doesn’t make a good blog. I got my fairytale. I’ve lived a full life. Yet i’m a natural adventurer. I have a thirst for excitement, fun, people, and the lives of others. I love to learn and i only learn the Wunna way….which is hands on. I never let anyone tell me how anything is. I have to do it, and well i usually and puely by accidental *ooh laa,* do it well.
Last week, i decided to go on adventures, and big ones around Leeds to learn about lives, people and do everything i want to do. I mean, i’m a Glamour puss that really appreciates her own life and celebrates it. I can do this because i’ve gone out of my way to walk the lives of others, or even accompany people on their own path for a season…. a reason.
Loverboy is my lifetime (he’s the only man who will ever adore me the way, ANY girl would want to be adored, someone that understands, respects and loves me so deeply, that i’ve given him my heart completely)..and now i have that package of deliciousness filed under ‘happy ever after’ i can now go back to being Chrissie Wunna and adventure across my new town of Leeds, with a wiggle, a wink and a dash of tequila. I’m putting myself in predicatments, to fully live life and to truely enjoy my journey. (Don’t worry i keep it sexy and i keep it troublesome.)
Over the past few days i’ve been doing what i do best and being a sexy nuisance. Out of boredom…(i get bored rather easily, i’m a feisty, forward moving piece of ‘jiggy,’) i decided to get a job. (I don’t know why i’m finding it funny.) I need to be more active, because my job, of being ME has pretty much turned into a business. I don’t really get to peform or entertain much anymore…as i strided up another rung of the yummy ladder of Greatness. I’m now writing books, picking out cosmetics for my new makeup line, doing features, interviews…and modelling. (Which reminds me, i have a shoot tomorow in London, that i need to pack a bag for.) I’m loving it all, but i need to be meeting more people of the world…hence why i LOVED being a socialite. I need to be being more *wiggle wiggle wink.*
Anyway, long story short….i got a job, a GREAT one, that i’m loving and that i’ve been working for 4 days. I begin at 8pm and i finish at 4am or 6am. (I’m a night owl…it’s fine.) Tonight was the first time i had looked at my laptop, due to being especially busy in a long time and i was shocked that i had been inundated with people guessing what i’ve been up too. (I’m an attention whore, i love it, don’t worry.) In the last four days i have made a bundle of cold hard cash…
This is my next new chapter, within my new chapter and (here it comes….)…with a wine, and meeting a new handful of giggly erotic Kittens, who are definitely delicious money making machines. (I saw 2 girls walk out with £800, after one night.) I’ve had a steady but constant path of gentleman of all different walks of life, rich, poor, happy, sad..placed in my actual path. I’ve always wanted to get my ‘Von Teese’ on and well i’ve now entered a bubble of seduction, perfomance, adventure and ‘oooh laa.’ Yep…Little Chrissie Wunna is welcomed into the wonderful world of…… dancing girls. 🙂
Wildcats Leeds. The new place to be.
(..so far i’ve actually only been spotted with an ‘omg that’s Chrissie Wunna’ under a blue, smokey light about 6 to 7 times and when they do..it’s hilarious. My voice gives it away. I’m LOVING IT! It’s my new adventure, all for the sake of fun. But don’t get me wrong…. it’s business too…i’m not gonna lie. I’m a Glamour Puss with a huge male fanbase, and since i’ll shortly be catering to my younger female audience, with meet and greets, and exciting girly goodies. I need to keep my male audience a going! I’m learning a lot, and not even the hard way anymore. Plus, it’ll actually be a good way for you to really know how it all works. Why these girls are judged. (Including myself.) How different gentlemen feel or even interact. I’ve already had one make me call him ‘Uncle Dave’ mid dance. I love it. 🙂
But for now, i’m not at work until Thursday, due to me having other Chrissie Wunna work duties. I’m back to ‘Hilton’ mode. I’m having to juggle everything, all at once. But i’m a champion…i can do it. I’ve lost my voice…but i do have a celeb shoot tomorrow, in London.
Right now, i need to get ready. (I’m always ‘getting ready’ for something.) I’m keeping it sexy, glamourous and 100% ‘ooh laa.’ (All of this reminds me of when i got my PR/Maketting job. I learnt a lot, stole a lot of attention, then had to quit due to being a distraction. More talk of me was being done than actual work. However, with that i learnt that i’m more interested in promoting ME, then i am anything else really. Typical. lol) This nudie dancing girl job, i so far LOVE…i’ve made a lot of interesting friends. It’s actually amazing. I have more balls than I even knew. *Beckons at you, and seductively saunters off.*
Welcome to my world. Whatever will be next? (HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Two of my Wunnarettes Rebecca and Chloe. I love you both and think you are delicious, my beautiful kittens of *worship* much. I LOVE YOU)
I’m gonna put my ‘sexy’ to the test. Lord help me. God knows what i’m meant to learn from this..but i will. I always do. Plus we all love a bit of a ‘stripperdoodee.’ *wink*