Just spent quality time, singing ‘Hey baby’ by No Doubt (do you remember it) to Myself, infront of a giantly luxurious mirror, that pisses on all your mirrors. I’m pretty good. (Ha-ha.) Then i set up ‘silent space’ in my bathroom (i know it’s odd, but i do it all the time) where i sit in a corner, laptop on knee and whilst on Youtube (God it’s getting worse) listen to Hip hop. Random! So i jigged around to ‘i got my drink n my 2 step’ for a wee bit, which pretty much sums me up, then decided to watch ‘Fawlty Towers.’ Hilarious!! It’s when being britishly rude, verbally, and physically abusive for random comedic value was actually ALLOWED and funny. I LOVE it!! More of it please! If you guys think it’s not funny, then it’s you’re own ‘save me’ insecurities that are needing to be fixed, and not really the comedian. I know that sounds harsh, but sadly it’s true. I’m always getting yelled at for being sarcastic. YOU should get yelled at for having a brain that doesn’t comprehend alternate forms of f****** humour. (I thank-you!!) It’s easy to blame others for your secrets. I better stop, i’m getting a bit too Sasserilla Big Boots! lol..
Anyway, (this is where i should redeem myself) Just wanted to say a massive thank you to all of you Lovelies who have been sending me the sweetest messages (flattery really does get you everywhere…not really i hate suck ups, unless i have to BE one. Not that your suck-ups, as ofcourse you guys are GREATNESS!) My blog readers are branching out all over this delicious worldy. I have messages from Germany, Japan, Italy, odd places in Iran, palaces, hell-holes, LA and well the Planet Mars! (You think i’m joking… but i guess some dude on ‘Mars’ has started a ‘We Love Chrissie Wunna’ cult.) I love me too. Good choice! No really, it’s all appreciated!! Kisses. Honest!
I went to post a letter in the blistering cold, which is becoming a bit of an nuisance now. A middle aged man (who if you squinted could look a bit Brad Pitty) stopped me, asked me to sign a picture for his son…then said i reminded him of ‘Captain Jack Sparrow,’ and his dog pees in my garden everyday. Beautiful! Dogs are pains in the arses. They’re so ‘love me, feed me, walk me’ needy. Can’t be BOTHERED!! I don’t like it when boys have ‘need attention all the time’ dogs, as i always have to pretend to really love them, when really i just want them to stop sloppy all over my skirt.
Oh and finally, before i go off and have the bubbliest of baths…without photogs telling me to look sexy whilst i do it (haha), my most frequently asked question is ‘what i look for in a guy?’ I’m answering it, as it takes too long to message you all, and i’m lazy.
Answer: A spirit that plays well with mine. I’m aware that sounds so flower power, ‘kum by arr’ but it’s exactly true. So put that in ya bung-hole and love it. Oh and don’t ask me it anymore!! lol…