A Perfect Case of Perversion

How long is it taking for Celeb Big Brother to come on..!?! I’ve been waiting ages and it’s doing my head in now. I only want to know who’s in…so i can then go out for drinks or flirt with people on msn. AND i’ve got ‘can’t go to the toilet’ properly problems. Constipation, i believe is the term. My belly aches. I need a ….poo. (HAHAHA. I do enjoy that word.) I have a cough too. A chesty one!

Nothing fun has happened today, on this calm day of GOD, other than i’m again having to write this half naked, waiting for my tan to dry, whilst feeding greedy kittiens, corrupting the young and congratulation young boys on their films. I need booze. I can’t bare the fact that i’m sober. I really can’t function. It’s heartbreaking. I also thought i could handle being bra-less, however, i was very much wrong. I felt all odd, sat in the middle of my living room, all nudie, on my laptop, whilst the crying cast of ‘Come Dine With Me’ performed on my ‘box of telly.’ Why do they cry when they win? It’s just a dinner party, on the telly? Why CRY, when yours was the best? Cry because they not only ate your chicken, but they finger banged your ‘hot for her age’ Mother, on their way out. But anyway, they (the cast of CDWM) didn’t even notice i had my boobs out? It made my ‘jubblies‘ feel all insecure and bitchy. I had to strap them down, before they caused the world mayhem. (Basically all that bullshit, i just wrote, means i just put a bra on. WOW…my life is so exciting today.)

Anyway, as we wait for Celeb BB, i will tell you, that i DO have a photo folder on my laptop aptly named ‘Boys.’ It’s a folder full of boys that i believe are delicious. I paste their picture into this folder of joy, and on occasion (like the cool kitten i am) I have a peeky and admire my chosen men of the world. There are people, who label themselves as my ‘friends’ (I mean you know you’re my friend, when i’ve slept with you…lol) and well they tell me this folder is an act of sheer perversion! Right…sure…whatever! I am a self confessed perv. I enjoy eye candy. HOWEVER like there are levels to love, shopping malls and insanity. There are levels of ‘perversion.’ My Folder aptly named ‘Boys.’ Is not the same as if a Priest of the Catholic orgin had a Folder…aptly named ‘Boys.’ (That used to be a Michael Jackson joke didn’t it. But now, everyone adores him again and rightly, they should!! We’re now back to Priests playing with young’uns.)

Another thing you might not know about me.  I follow ‘The ecret’…the ‘Law of attraction.’ I make vision boards, mood boards and everything. I stare at them every day. They work. I have everything that i actually wished for. Yet i still can’t poo?

I’ve got to go, before i get myself into trouble. (I’m having to loosen my bra, it’s like trying to hold down apes.) I need food. I need you and i need to know WHO the jeebers is gonna be on Celeb BB???

(Picture taken from one of my first ever Glamour shoots..when i was a Lust Pin Up girl, in LA. I remember feeling terrified and being very young.)

My shoe of the day: (Wearifudare) What u have on your feet matters!

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