Last night, i found myself on a cream carpet, under a chandelier, infront of a fireplace and crying simply because my past was not only being far too mouthy, yet at the same time refusing to leave. Harsh words, (‘I don’t love you…LEAVE’) actions and Wunna Princess tears were released about my world, last night…to the point where i began to crave salami, (when i’m sad i always do) and I was literally in my flood of Wunna ‘comedy’ tears forced to call my ninja MUM (lol) in order to come to my house and sort a boy out! I didn’t want Ruby to be around Loverboy’s psiteful friction, so i made sure she was away and Disney-fied…as said ‘boy’..who had decided to commit to the most delicious form of insecurity, was dealt with. I remember looking at him, whilst he tended to a jolly bit of verbal abuse, that he didn’t actually mean, yet thought he would perform in order to poorly handle my ego. I just quietly paused, looked Glamour Pussy and said, ‘You know in every past relationship, before the BIG BREAKUP, there’s always that precise moment, where you internally decide you never want to be with that particular person ever again and you truely need them out of your life immediately, in order to find utter happiness…tonight, is that night.’
That didn’t go down well. (It must be my charm. 🙂 ) I followed it up with a ‘please fucking LEAVE’ and a ‘why are EVEN you here? If i’m such a terrible human being…DO ONE. What are you clinging ONTO???’ It didn’t work. My past has a clever way of clinging on, regardless, as to what is said. But ah well. My Mother tottered over, sorted it all out and well life immediately became better. I mean i have a tremendously marvellous mother and since becoming one, i have never been more grateful for having her. I had a wine, a bit of salami and tending to etting on with life with a smile on my face!
Today has been a different day. A day of glory, love, laughter and merriment. I’ve felt wonderful. Life really is better than i thought and i’m just a lucky girl, filled with a glinty wink of excitement.
In the office today, we did a lot talking about men and how in my life they really have been the ONLY thing that has mildy ruined parts. I’m one of those high heeled, independant hoochies.. Never one to need a gent. Yet always ends up with many male suitors wanting a ‘forever’ with the Glamour Puss. I don’t know what i do, or how i do it…but i do. And i always end up with the broken ones, who need help. The next time i pick, i’m going to tango with one that will treat me and adore me deliciously..look after ME. Why? Because i deserve it and i’m exhausted with baby sitting boys. I’m happy right now, so all is exciting. Watch this space…with condoms and cupid. 🙂 Had a GREAT DAY. Have a wunnaful future lined up. It’s all good and giddy and i don’t even need my fingers crossed. (God, all this talk has made me hungry.) What i like about me, is that i always believe i deserve the best. Now i’m older, i love that i have the option to have that and i never ever settle for ‘just whatever.’ I feel hot and i feel strong. (Celeb Big Brother is on and 7th place…a feeble position, is being announced. Poor Bobby.)
I’m working tomorrow, but again i have an exceptionel weekend planned. My friend is currently telling me that my feet are in the shape of shoes and that i have an amazing ‘updo.’ (Today was ‘Updo’ Thursday. It goes along with Perv Monday, Date Night Friday, Naked sunday..and all that f’jizzle.) I worked my ‘updo’ this morning. Yet looked half hot, half gypo wedding. When your ‘updo’ is sooo heavy that it gives to neck ache outside McDonalds, next to boys named ‘scott’ who are about to go to the dentist, you’re either in trouble or just a slag. 🙂 I’ll let you decide. 🙂
Life was littered with lots of awkward moments today. Those tremendous moments where jokes go too far and the truth flies out uncontrollably, followed by bizarre *quiet* moments of *Oopies.* Now, i’m a joker. I’m armed with a quick wit, a shit sense of humour and all dolloped in a yummy ooze of Diva Diva.. sarcasm. Even i felt a bit odd in that moment. But whatever, shit happens.
Before i left work today, i had one of those conversations with a ‘handsome’ that make a complete difference. Boys are usually quite uncomfortably around me, because they don’t trust that their behaviour will be impressive enough. This boy is direct…and i like that. He’s quite freshly expressive and i’m really not used to that. Maybe because i didn’t expect it? But i liked what i heard and when that happens..you’re lucky.
Anyway, i’m totally knackered. I’m ever grateful for my mum. I’m living, hoping for the best, excited and ready to take on the world with a wink and a Wonderbra. #BeMe. *Hip Bump-strut.*
Oh hello ‘almost’ weekend. BRING IT!