A little bit of lippy & a whole lot of ego…

Afternoon my little bumpkin berries of delight. I’m trying to fit in blogging between life, yet finding spaces of ’empty’ between the natural ‘razzle-dazzle’ (i’m currently in an office eatin a celery stick…hardly very ‘Va Voom’ but whatever, let me ramble,) of ‘Wunna Land’ is no becoming a merry little task in itself.

All is well right now. I’m now getting the better of my diet, with an ‘IN YOUR FACE GUURRRL.’ I’m winking and a working it and on my way to a fitter, new yummy version of a previously preggo ‘Wunna.’ I feel good, apart from the fact that I stormed out of the living room last night, pulling dolly angry faces at Loverboy, after I accussed him of trying to kill me with water. (Yay, to no carbs, food, or love handles.) It’s not the discipline of the diet that I don’t enjoy. *Giggle-purr.* It’s the fact that my natural free spirit, is ever so inclined to need ‘good times’ in the form of wine, cocktails and red meat, that my body itslf will reach out to it, leaving my mind and the calm bit of Wunna behind.

Anyway, we’ve made up now. Pete just thought it was hilarious. I need a man like that. One that thinks i’m ‘funny’ when i’m being an absolute bitch. I swear it’s down to the tan, the boobs, the *wink.* (Fuck, i want crisps now!)

I’ve finally emailed over the final pictures for my book to my Lit.Agent now. I only have one pretty stack left, so i’m more than overly excited, dipped in a little sauce of worry. I now have no idea how the book will turn out because it’s in the hands of the publisher, therefore i’m hoping it both is and looks delicious. *Fingers Crossed.* I want over the top glamour and fabulosity. The feedback I received was that it was ‘bloody brillant’ and ‘appeals to a younger audience.’ I’m hoping that the icing gets glittered all over it and it tells my story the perfect little way.

I’m currently reading an ‘inbox’ from a guy named ‘Keith’ who wants me to go to his ‘Fun City.’ My trust issues are confused as to whether he means ‘adventure playground,’ or goolies? Either way…i’m going to play it safe and simply click ‘Delete.’

I’m far too floozy to be at an adventure playground. (Even though when my LA buddy, Ronnie & I went to Disney in California for the afternoon, we met a 5year old in the EXACT attire as me. Luckily, I was drunk..so i rocked it with a little more ‘swag’ and in far too much lippy. I accessorized with a Gatorade mixed vodka. The 5 year old accessorized with a Jesus socked sandaled..parent. I knew at that point that she couldn’t ‘out pimp’ me. Everyone knows that at 5,  you need to be attached to a high heeled hoochie to the right and a GIANT sized swirly rock lolly to the left…or gin?) Oh and on the goolies part…Pete’s goolies are now terrifying me, because they always seem to be ‘coming to get’ me. *Frightened.* Loverboy cannot seem to be able to tuck them away right now? I don’t know whether he wants me to desire them or if he’s being funny, or whether he just likes me telling him that ‘i have never seen affro goolies before? It looks like the Jackson 5!’

I think because he got his ‘end away’ last ‘Date night’ he’s become all excited, incase there’s a round two? Tonight again is ‘Date Night.’ It’s come around quickly? I guess time flies when you’re having fun and well our relationship, including baby Ruby, is utterly fun and utterly perfect. We spend the entire time giggling, loving and committing to foolish twat-like behaviour.  We’re each other’s everything right now and i haven’t even needed a rum! My little family is ‘Wunnaful’ and well because we’re in a phase where everything seems to be going right! Woohoo!

However, woke up with stickers on our ‘privates’ this morning. Mine was blue and informed the world that I apparently also came in a size 20-22. Nice! Loverboy’s sticker was round and accidentally gummed onto his white pants, near his dinky, reading ..‘with hat.’ 🙂 Then we made the executive decision,without even knowing to dance like whores to Koala bear cartoon folk in planes on the telly for the sheer entertainment of our daughter. We just sort of found ourselves doing it without realizing, to impress Queen Ruby. But then our competitive streaks ‘kick in’ and we find ourselves in an angry ‘dance off.’

It’s funny how you never actually think that one night of hot *rumpy* followed by a back bed  competition, due to Britain’s Got Talent and booze, would end in whore dancing to Koala bears 15 months later for a life that you’ve seemed to have created. 🙂 Oh and what a beautifully, life of yum-fest she is!

Other than that we watched lesbians last night and well it was ruined due to Pete needing me to define the term ‘lesbian’ for him. He got them confusd with lipstick stained floozies who make out. I literally had to sit him down and say, ‘Pete! A lesbian is a girl who fancies ANOTHER girl, you idiot!! They come in every shape and size. This is an actual documentary, not a fricking PORN. The girls on the porn AREN’T really lesbos. They’re hot boobied, blond Playboy type dollies, who pretend to like feeling each other up, for the unfortunate desire of men. Actual lesbians, don’t like boys.’ 🙂

I’ve actually worked really hard today and i’ve got a busy weekend of organization, pampering and dress picking to tend to. It better not rain all weekend..

Tonight…’Date Night.’

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