A Dress, A Dress. My Kingdom for a Dress!

Looong day. I’ve just returned home after a busy day of shopping for the perfect party dress, fit for a Glamour Puss with a drinking problem. I rose at 7am..(kill me…i hate mornings) and from that point onward i slipped into the sexiest of slick much kitten heels and darlings I FUCKING shopped…

Unfortunately i had to take trains. I’ve realized i spend a great deal of my life at smelly train stations, which i’m not quite partial to. It’s full of stares and ‘why are you wearing that fur in this heat,’ looks. (Please, i’m a Yorkshire/Hollywood bratt..i’m flippy dippy cold much.) My first train was delayed. I looked divine, therefore i didn’t care that it was fashionably late. The second was also delayed. The third...yep couldn’t make it. The fourth…ooh look CANCELLED! Now, i’m the worst when it comes to waiting and a grubby smoker, therefore…after really trying my hardest to be all patient and zen…i managed to swear a lot, *hair toss,* complain, pull ‘diva faces’ and after a Bimbo ‘huff n puff,’ strut off LOUDLY, like i was the Queen of ALL….train stations? I then totttered outside, fell off my own heels, figured i’d smoke a ciggarette (in my own tragic haze..oh and this is in Barnsley by the way.) Then like Wonder Woman herself, I saw a train…a random exciting looking one and like the champion that i am,  i rushed (which is a sloooow very glamourous saunter…i don’t *rush* for things, they can wait for Me and bring me wine, while they’re at it.) I leaped (just stepped like a normal human being) onto it…not knowing where it was destined to venture and made my way to…Meadowhall! ( I actually had the wrong ticket…but i didn’t even one bit care. I got away with it too because i have pouty lips, big boobies and a look that said, ‘don’t ever cancel 4 trains on me again!

Got to Meadowhall, and decided to shop to relieve stress. OMG! I hunted up, down, in, out, round and round and under things to find the purrfect dress. I’m going to the the ‘Christian Audigier’ event by the Billionaire Boys Club, in Leeds tomorrow and i want to make my mark on the north. I mean i’ve smeared a reputation all over LA and London, Leeds needs to get eased in. I couldn’t find a dress anywhere. I had people all over the centre helping me. Lol! It was like we were saving the children of Africa. (‘We shall find that slut a dress and raise awareness immediately!!’)

Anyway long story short my feet started to hurt, so i bimbo tottered into La

1 thought on “A Dress, A Dress. My Kingdom for a Dress!”

  1. You know I love your blog it is so cool. I like that you went looking for a dress and went in a nightie instead that is wild. So note your blogs are sometimes very interactive. I like the way you tell things from you point of view it is just so interesting it isn’t dull. Well hope u have more fun. Cheers.

    Reply

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