A piccie from when I used to be hot. Those were the days. Free everything and marriage proposals from randoms. Aaaah, you can’t win’em all, but can certainly try.
Anyway, I woke up ‘Disney’ chipper yesterday. The sun was out, the kids were excited for nursery, I ran sunny morning errands with my husband and even did breakie at Deli Central to simply enjoy life. All was wel,l over poached eggs on wheat (even though the face opposite me decided to work and make phone calls all the way through it…see below)
(Hellooo, I’ve bought you eggs. You can at least look at me and enjoy the egg eating experience for a second. #manners.)
Now, Keiran’s morning had begun in the opposite fashion. Very opposite. He was filed to the brim with stress, work, frustration and anxiety. #jolly Anytime you are spending part of your life at a bank, in a room, for business before 10am, you know things are going to be stressy. But yeah…he was all kinds of frustrated and he did the one thing that I can’t stand him doing…and that was wait until I made a happy chipper comment, like ‘Don’t forget that I have a meeting at 1pm Babe,’ (I was pasted with a dolly smile) and then take his moodiness out ON ME. Now, the above sentence was all I said…and that brought on ‘GOD!! What I have to do, will ONLY take 10 minutes BABE. Why are you stressing me out! The LAST THING I NEED IS YOU HAVING A GO AT ME TOOO…’
The rest turned into ‘blah,blah, blah’ as from that moment onward I didn’t care to listen to him anymore. I picked my pretty, corporately dressed self up, peacefully grabbed my handbag, asked for the parking coin and walked off, leaving him on his own-some. You don’t fuck with Wunna, Now, it’s not what he said, as he didn’t really say anything too hideous, it was how he said it, which to me displayed a vision of ungratefulness. Bottom line, if i’m being happy and supportive and if i’ve not only driven you all over the place, on your stupid errands AND bought you breakfast, you don’t take your stress out ON ME. It’s rude. I left. I mean, how disrespectful.
He then followed me after I stormed off and tried to to the ‘sorry, thing, the ‘tickle’ thing, the happy, playful ‘lets smooth this over’ thing. I just ignored him, removed him from my side and walked onward.
It all got worse because by now he had pulled me onto his frequency of misery. The difference is, i’m much eviler than he is, so when this happens, it’s never good for him. But ofcourse he knows this and ofcourse he’s a sucker for punishment. It ended up in a big fight, where we#re shouting at each other and he’s being all blamey and smug. I hate smugness, so I slapped him out of frustration, as Keiran has this habit of not letting to talk because if you do you make sense. Just because someone shouts louder and talks over you, it doesn’t mean they are right. I slapped him again, screamed at him and tried to break his sunglasses. (Bouji fight. Oh andit’d okay that i tried to snatch his Raybans..because I purchased them 🙂 ).
We argued about us, we argued about our families, we argued about everything. Our families are really different. Keiran comes from a massive family so the don’t get to hang out as much as they would like. I come from a really small family. so I see my mum every other day and simply because she can just pop in for a cuddle, to tell me that she loves me, help me out with the babies, or just to chill. He only really gets that from me, because i’m around all the time, whereas I get it from everywhere. His next jab was to state that i wasn’t independent because of the above. Erm…? I moved to Hollywood with nothing but a suitcase and my fingers crossed and lived there ON MY OWN for my entire twenties. It’s not odd that now i’m home and have had children that my mum adores me, adores them and sees me all the time. That’s normal. Surely that’s part of being a mum? It doesn’t effect my independence. What’s not independent is the fact that he can’t even seem to make himself a sandwich or find his own van keys without my help. 🙂 Then he stated that I always make up an issue when it’s time to meet up with his family (because he was about to see his Aunty Shirley<0 and he reverted to the last argument we had, when he wouldn’t drive. Again, I stated that i didn’t go because he decided to be disrespectful to me…AND because he didn’t want to drive. (For some reason his arms and legs must not work or something now because he can never drive without me taking him and i’m NEW DRIVER.) Yesterdays’ breakfast argument wasn’t about family, it was again about him being rude.
Anyway, it all blew up and he went to his little meet and greet thinking I would’ve ‘cooled down.’ He also wanted me to wait for him so he could get a lift home. I got madder and madder when he left that not only did i have a weep, out of frustration, but I stated that he cancel our anniversary stuff and just get out of my life. 🙂 Lovely!
He came back, I felt shitty, i was upset and angry, he was trying to suck p to me, I drove to my meeting, half in tears, which is awful, did the meeting, felt a little better form it and then made up with him as he MADE ME DRIVE to more golf places. I’m tired of driving him around. I actually don’t feel bad about any of it. I only feel bad because I told him to cancel the anniversary stuff because it was ‘shit’ anyway. I think i said, ‘What? It’s just staying in a hotel and having dinner. I’ve stayed in a hotel a million times. We even did it for 5 days when our boiler fucking BROKE. It’s not that special.’ That was bad because he would’ve saved up and tried to make it utterly special for me. But then again…he shouldn’t make me mad, simply because he’s grumpy, because once i’m on my roll…i’m the crazy Asian lady. You can’t stop me, once i’ve flown.
More golf places, lunch and a nursery run and well we were straight back to ‘fairytale’ like nothing had even happened. The world couldn’t BE any rosier. Annoying right? It was just a mad blip of anger, all pointless and annoying, that happened because he was stressed. But I guess that’s what happens in marriage. You have days like that, which turn into moments like that, which finally dissolve into ‘no more madness.’ I’m too old to be slapping boys in cars for being rude. I just can’t stand uneducated smugness or not being able to speak. He’s sorry, he’s got the picture and i’m looking forward to getting away. He must mentally kick himself in the balls every day for being idiotic male. Although, i’m happy about the anniversary surprise, I’m sad because i’ll miss the children for a couple nights. (Sad, but true. I mean, even having them both nestled around me sleeping last night made my feel complete. I secret smiled in my eyes, as I peeked at them both in dreamland. It made me feel sickly whole.)
Plus, (on the romance front,) I reckon Keiran’s forgotten how to be romantic, when he’s on the ‘just him and I‘ spot. I don’t think he’ll know what to do or what to say, or how to fill in the silences, as the silences are usually filled with Ruby. Don’t get we wrong, he’ll say and smear charm on everything, but he’ll feel a little nervous at first, I reckon. I know, i’ll initially find it hard to relax, but It’ll be all romantic and lovely, but after we’ve warmed up. Two days and we’re away. #good
Now, we’re back to chipper, whole hearted, life partners of love bunny. Typical. If if was Christmas, as my friend Ruth would say, this is the part where we’d bonk by a Christmas tree. I’m actually quite tired and hungry today. I need a bit more sleep or a hundred more coffees. AND i’ve just had a jolly bit of annoying news roll in. UGH!
But anyway, I’ll leave you with more recent family pics to keep that smile on ya face,
Last night’s sofa love…
This mornings nursery run.
I really am married to the man of my dreams, yet our ‘blips’ are not really pointless because in the words of my hubby they are ‘educational.’ 🙂 So, if you’re having ‘blips’ and it’s very normal in loving relationships, I just TELL YOU ours, where other couples may not. 🙂 Don’t worry…make it right…and certainly make it educational. If not, simply reboot your life, with a ‘ctrl, alt, tequila shot.’
We cherish each other and hope to always be together. It’s the moment at the roundabout where we made up yesterday and it’s that moment even though it was decorated with shit driving… that counts. (To whoever, i accidentally cut up on the road yesterday afternoon, you have my sincerest kitty cat apologies.)