A Bit of Bunny Banter

At 6.15am this morning, i was leaving work in the broad daylight, after working from 8pm, through the night as a ‘Dancing girl,’ and being pushed into a tiny car, with 5 other ‘stripper-doo-dees’ and a DJ, who was making me bob down in the back of it, due to the fact that we had a police car right next to us. Hilarious! I’m a Glamour Puss, i don’t like being squeezed into places. I’m claustrophic…i need space, and enough room to at least get a *hair toss* in. I didn’t even have room to *pout.* But luckily, i’m not a bitcharoo and i was therefore highly grateful for the ride to Leeds train station. I got a sausage egg McMuffin at 6.30am, got hit on by a businessman (who was completely unaware that i had been up the whole entire night,) got harrassed by a boy in a hat..a yukky one, who thought he’d have a chance with an exhausted Kitty cat. (I may be tired, but i’m sharp as a knife. 🙂 ) Then at 7am, i got on my train and ventured home, finally to get some sleep, only to wake up at 1.30pm, go shopping with Loverboy, (the love of my life much) get stared at, and then return home to further sleep until 8.40pm. That’s how exhausted i am. I had to take the night off. It’s a hard job. I mean, those girls are troopers. Real women. Each one of them has a story, a different identity..but don’t think they’re not making the moola. The girls of Wildcats Leeds are going home with £600-700 a night, cold hard cash. I watched a man, a chubby one (lol) pay £400, just to watch one girl ( a good friend of mine) dance, in the V.I.P. Amazing…and well everyone is having the funniest time!

I did rubbish last night, due to exhaustion. I’m not used to working that late and for that long. The seductive art of wiggling, can take it out of you. I met a lot of gentleman. A LOT! Rich, poor, fat, thin, young, old, posh, quiet…well the list is endless. I’m finding it soo interesting and learning even more about men almost everyday. I mean, i pretty much thought i knew it all and i never knew why or how i became a ‘sort after’ girl, when it came to men, in life? Like, (i know this sounds conceited,..but fuck it, it’s true,) Loverboy and i were cuddling up the other night, being our basic super romantic selves and he looked at me and said, ‘It’s really weird how soooo many men all over the world just fancy you?’ I think it’s weird too? But i’m Chrissie Wunna…therefore ofcourse i LOVE IT!!! *Wink-pout-strut* I do wonder what makes a girl fanciable? But i do think *sexy* is everything…and don’t get me wrong, i’m not talking boobs out, slutty, ooh laa…(that’s just me haha) and talking being so comfortable in you’re own skin, knowing who you are and what you stand for. I’m all of that. A bit of a dynamo, if you ask me. 🙂 You need the perfect mix of everything. Like i always say, i’m a girl, created by boys..and i think that’s what makes me an apparent score. lol

Anyway, i got distracted, last night at work, (and i’ve made some awesome chick friends) i decided that it would be funny if we all got drunk. Ofcourse, i did…so with the help of the manager, i began the art of buying the girls drinks and Holy shit!!!! We had whatever we wanted, followed by a repulsive amount of peach flavoured,’ straight to your head’ shots. I followed this with half a bottle of wine, more wine, then 3 double Baileys, a vodka, more vodka, more wine etc..etc…plus we’re in an environment where we are constantly being bought drinks by gentleman, who are wanting to impress us. It’s a magical world. Not one girl could see! There were comedy stage shows occuring. lol

Once i’m drunk, then yeah, i go into party girl mode. I forget to actually work, and simply think i’m on a night out. Unfortunately, i’m an influencial little treat of a bundle of bunny much…and other kittens follow. Oops! Like they say, i’m the best bad influence in town!! I was in with cocktails, in nothing but a yummy pink thong, armed with my big comedy boobs, a boy named William, a footballer, and a bald guy, with giant flowers in my hair, over eyelashed, tanned and pretty much naked in heels, to music. I love my life. Hilarious! I remember i kept sitting on different boys knees and everytime some overly posessive boy, would *gangsta walk* over, grab me, pick me up, yell at the boy, claim he paid £200 for time with me, and send me tot he bar, where he had bought be 14 wines.

It’s bizarre…the men don’t really want me to dance for them in there. They want me to be their wife…which is odd really. I mean i do dance..and i love it. But Wildcats Leeds, is the best place to be really. The men there WILL come in and pay £80 for a 15 minute dance, like it’s nothing. My friend Carmen did 7 dances, at this rate in her first 2 hours of arriving. I can’t do maths..but that’s not too shabby. You pay more..because it’s a classy V.I.P venue, but the girls at work are hot hot hot..not only that, but they are the most fun girls you’ll ever meet. I love them. (I thought i’d try and keep the whole ‘Chrissie Wunna’ thing underwraps with all the other girls. Don’t know why? But It got out, after a girl recognized me and was sure i was her? Then the bouncer did. Then the bartender did. Then another girl did, and the other night customers came in and wanted pictures with me…now a few of them, so soon they all will. But i’m happy, because i’ve actually met a bunch of genuine girlies…all of them are comfortable in their own skin. I like that a lot. Love it, a lot!!!) Did i really get called ‘Chavvy woo’ by one of the managers last night, who i only appreciate when he’s in his army outfit. I sexual harrass him and he loves it. One of the other girls labelled herself ‘Fatty la laa.’ I do enjoy her! HAHA. Even though i can’t keep up with her 17 different names. 🙂

Okay, i’m knackered now, and taking a few good days off to relax and invest in my Baby boo Petey pie. ( My ‘Loverboy’..who picked me up today, whilst playing love songs in the car. Aww.) I think our relationship works because i invest in loving him, respecting him and being highly traditional when it comes to love, with him. I’m open, honest, cutsie, cuddly, sexual and happy. He too makes a conscious effort to do the same. We make it very known that we love each other and at the end of the day, that’s all anyone wants…to be loved. We invest a lot of time with each other. We don’t take each other for granted and people forget to do that. No game of love was ever played. I feel like he’s my hubby. He just knows a really secret side to me…an innocence. It’s amazing having a man who is always there for you and tells you how delicious you are everyday. I had to wait a long time for it…but i got it. If you don’t have a love, don’t think that you won’t find your ‘other.’ You will. Dreams come true. Fairytales happen. I never thought i was actually fated to be with someone, until i met Pete and i don’t mean it on a dickhead superficial level. (I’m not like that.) I mean, if you actually look back on our entire lives and how we’ve manouvered…. it all makes sense now. #Crazymuch Whatever you’re going through now, you’re meant to be going through. The quicker you learn your lessons in life, the faster you will get positive results! It took me ages, but i was never too great at getting things right. Everything i did was with an ‘ooh laa’ Wunna Flair…which ofcourse is troublesome.

Other than that, i’ve been stalking people called ‘Emma’ on Facebook. I’ve been watching terrible stoner mothers, be out right terrible stoner Mothers. (They made me KNOW i can do a better job at it.) I then saw a half- midget couple..adults too, in matching ‘denim on denim’ outfits on my train. They were all cutsie and tripping over everything. I loved them. I wanted to tickle them. I’ve also heard that Jonny told one of my fans, who noticed him at a station, and told him they we’re a big fan OF MINE, to jump INFRONT of a train.  Lovely lovely! (He can’t win the war, so now he’s trying to actually KILL OFF my fanbase.) It’s funny because he can be evil, but all that will happen if you see him, is a bit of a feel up back at his place. If he asks you to venture back to his…DO NOT DO IT, unless you’re feeling kinky. You will be groped, made out with and spooned lovingly against your will. But saying that, i’ve been is ‘otherside of the pillow’ and i’m AMAZING…therefore you all should go, just to lay where i once laid. 🙂

I’m too tired to blog sense now. Bed for me. x (If you are any of the people noticing me out and about and too frightened to talk to me…don’t be. I will talk to you…and then steal your wallet. Thankyou for my messages though.)

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