A Bit of Banter Before Bed

Hello Dollies, You scrumpy lumps of lush. I’m smeared in fake tan, i have an array of multi-coloured rollers in my hair, a couple of kittens are pouting at me and well the grooming process for work tomorrow (i have a shoot) as already begun. I enjoy pampering when i’m not forced to do it. I hate being forced to do anything. I’m a rebellious Kitty Cat, we know that, we love that. However, my fight with my inner vanity is proving to be rather tedious. I’ve made a nightcap *slurps vodka* and well now it seems i’ve eased my way into submitting to the powers of ‘well yeah i’m gonna have to groom in order to look good.’ (Whenever i begin to write my blog…everyone decides to talk to me about their day. I mean…i love hearing it all, because i’m tipsy. Yet..when i’m perched around aimlessly purring and winking, with nothing to do but *shimmie* to the greatness of my Life, nobody has a single thing to say to Me! It’s almost as if they wait until i’m no longer interested in them…and then force *interest*out of me. I dislike that trait in people…unless ofcourse i’m doing. People like Me to constantly be interested in them. I’ve noticed that. I quite like it too…which i find bizarre? (I used to zone out when things weren’t about me.) Jonny has just bbmed me informing me that i’m a ‘loser.’ I am. It’s fun. However, now i’ve recieved one from him reading ‘love you.‘ I prefer drunk Jonny. I used to date this guy in LA (well i dated them all, didn’t i..) but one in particular who i really could only handle if he was on perscription drugs. He told me he was religious. Well if he was, he sure as hell poked his ‘spirit’ into every other girl but ME. He had about 14 (4) different girlfriends. I swiftly took myself off rotation…even though months afterward he claimed I was the only girl for him…I had rumpy with him on my roomates bed…because ‘roomate’ once had ‘rumpy’ with a tranny on mine. I’m not sure why he couldn’t still to our own rooms?

It was funny though. I mean we had the Ultimate bouji party pad. In the morning, our dates (who might have stayed over) would meet in their underwear on our landing in a hungover shuffle to the bathroom at 7am. Mine would always come back with a smile. His would throw a 90210 Hollywood tantrum, begin screaming, shouting, grabbing their ‘last nights dress’ and storm down our beautiful stairway of sin. One actually came out with a busted lip and yelled, ‘WHAT!!!! YOU CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT WHAT YOU DOO TO PEOPLE!!!!! LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME.’ God knows what he did to her?? He claimed it was kinky sex. Didn’t really matter to me? I know ‘boy code’ and the fact that you just pretend it hasn’t happened. But she always came back for more….as did Jen, Julie, Dove and some other fine darlings of ‘rump.’

Anyway, today i’ve been exhausted. I spent the whole night talking to ‘Loverboy’ on the phone, whilst he was laid in bed. I went to bed at 3.30am and had to get up at 7am. I worked for a good moment then went shopping….which i found is rubbish when completely knackered. I trained it to Meadowhall, in

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