OMG! Pete hasn’t paid his internet bill, so i’m not able to blog at home..which as you may realize is rather frickin’ hard, when you’re a BLOGGER! I feel all lost without doing my daily bit of ‘witter-woo.’ Pete, not paying bills ontime has ot me chucked out of Cyberland briefly. Now i’ve been chucked out of a lot of classy and (not very class) joints, in too much eyeshadow, push up bras and leopard print heels, by monks, waiters, bouncers or innocents But NEVER the world that bred me and that world to me is CYBERLAND. (I love that i got chucked out of that Zen garden in Hollywood, for ashing in a Koi Pond. Then thrown out of a Buddhist Pagoda for simply being a ‘slut.’ LOL.) I’m one to tend to believe that I never really gracefully entered anything too pleasantly. I’m sure I was more *chucked* out of my Mothers vagina in the 1980’s one 19th of the month. That’s how my life began…luckily…i did pretty alright. 😉
I’m actually trying to sneekily write this blog, whilst i’m at still at work. I’m sitting at my desk, after having randomly worked really hard all day. (I didn’t even have time to *hair-toss* and complain.) I have a bright blue noticed board infront of me, with a shrine that I have dedicated to my boss ‘Jon’ (when you do them a shrine and wear shirts that show clevage, you always become a favourite.) And I guess my way of being *sneeky* is to simply be mightily obvious and just open my giant laptop up, at my desk, infront of my pre-clicked on ‘looks like work stuff’ computer…and well blog by a coffee cup. I mean fuck it. I can’t live without Cyberland. I’m like a geeky, floozy, that’s been rolled in glitter, tan and slanted eyes.
Okay so much hashappened that I can’t even remember it all now, i hate that. I’m a ‘moment’ girl and i need to blog it all out, when i’m in that moment, because like with everything, once it’s gently flown by, it then becomes the dust ridden past. I hate dust. Get’s in my ‘ooh laa,’ and makes me sneezeinto my cocktail.
Pete and I are getting back to fairytale. He’s thoroughly learnt his lesson and well i guess i didn’t realize how much of a Mummy’s boy he was. I don’t like a Mummy’s boy. Therefore i’m doing what all Glamour Pusses do and manipulate everything until you get your own way and do it nicely, with a *wink.* It’s worked. I mean, i will admit that when i first went back to him, we were sort of pretending to like eveything was okay. I’m not good at that at all. 🙂 (If you know me, you’ll get that i just can’t do that pretend *hoop-la,* the fact that i try is tragically hilarious. I go from merry being fakey *Bimbo* to angry asian market man in 2.3 seconds. Trying to suffocate your true emotions might work for Pete. Yet for a Kitty cat like me. Well you just can’t tame the feist..without booze.
Anyway yeah, we were pretending that all was well and i knew we were in ‘pretend’ mode when i realized that every other moment was spent making indirect sarcastically evil jabs atone another. We needed more time to heal. I’ve got to learn to control my temper and remember that attemept to be a ‘problem solver’ instead of all shouter. Pete’s just got to practice being a grown up and learn how to do life. I’m great inspiratation for him. Therefore i’m trying to be tame on him and well there was moment this morning when he was super broke. I figured if i was super broke and i have been, in the past. All i would wish for was help until I could manage. Therefore being the good little girl that i am..i bit my tongue, pulled compasion out of my arse and empathized with him deeply. It’s a better way to do things. When people are lookin gup at you from the bottom of the barrel. It’s better to hold out your hand, show them your diamonds and run. 🙂 JOKE! Ofcourse..hold out your hand and give them a bit of a hoist up. Pete’s not a twat like a lot of ‘handsome’s’ i’ve encountered. He’s looked after me better than any boy. I need to remember to see the good in him, even when i’m misted over with an angry pink smoke of feist! When i’m mad i’m like Tarzan. It’s ace. It all ends in laughter though…well for me anyway.
Karan’s just walked in with the word ‘bastard’ on the edge of her lips. Obviously a great day at work. Karan’s just swizzled around on her chair and said ‘Are you blogging?’ 🙂 I answered with a giggle and a ‘don’t worry i have my computer ready to *click* onto things, so it looks like i’m working.‘ 🙂 I’m like employee of the year or something?
But yeah, Ruby i s better than ever. Taking her way for a week, away from the drama helped so much,. We’ve been frolocking to the Tweenies, dancing and winking at each other. Life couldn’t be better for her and well i never knew how much baby’s did actually absorb. Now that Pete and I are happy. Ruby is. I’m still not talking or associating with his family and quite frankly that’s why we’re not fighting. Yippeee. We have date night tomorrow. *Gin here.*
The other day, in order to avoid his brother, i hid in a Morrisons for 20 minutes. I got followed by a druggie, who went down every isle i did, glared at my boobies and on occasion talked to them. Then the staff decided to cheer at me, due to having boobies, making ‘hiding’ all kinds of pointless. I then got into a taxi and got trapped with a asian cabbie who wouldn’t let me out unless i let thim call me a ‘sexy bitch’ and i sold him an insurance claim. I just looked at him like he was a clever weirdo. Agreed that I was a sexy bitch, then strutted out the cab with a ‘shame…you’re a smart boy who makes all the wrong decisions.’ That day i also got mistaken for a porn star. I’m used to both getting into the wrong taxi and being ridiculed for my past of utter flooziness.
God, i can’t at all remember what has happened to me now? Well other than the fact that i’ve bizarrely been getting super high blog hits? I need wine. I need it now. Today we enrolled Ruby in Baby school to educate her whilst Pete and I work our arses off for deniro to pay for pointless flashy life goodies.
Oh..we’re moving! Exciting stuff! Awesome house. That’s it i’ve lost my memory. I’ll have to *sneeky* blog tomorrow.
Ruby with her insane *karate* leg. I taught her that. Hello Mummy of the year!