A Bit of a Midnight Moan

Well today’s been a big hit. I’ve enjoyed beef and chai tea with loved ones. Boasted about how my Loverboy is going to be on the telly (lol) and topped all of that off with a distinct feeling of preggoness. I’ve never felt so pregnant, by border collies and young children who sing-a-long  merrily to ‘Twinkle-Twinkle little star.’ I’m definitely about to *pop* and any time now really. I can just feel it. Therefore in a moment of panic, i’ve packed my hospital bag…which is pink & leopard print. Woohoo! In it, contains infant sized bear outfits for humans that wish to poke out of my vagina. The funny thing about it, is that when you hold them up…it makes people go ‘awww.’ I love the fact that the only thing that makes me now act moderately responsible is *panic.* It’s definitely a progression from the delicious art of rum.

I’m now not at all terrified about the whole ‘having a baby’ thing. I feel highly at ease and because Pete keeps telling me how much he loves me. It’s like when you’ve fallen over as a child and your mum ‘kisses it better.’ For some reason you just feel better. It’s all because it never really hurt. You just needed to know that someone, somewhere cared.

Other than all that and my weave taking over the land again. I really am kinda wondering how tv networks are now going to document my baby’s birth? I mean, how are they going to know when i’m about to toddle off into labour, unless there’s a cameraman on standby? Pete’s not going to beable to emergency film it, due to him commiting to fainting and the fact that i do actually want HIM to be in the film..with him being ‘Daddy’ and all that jiggly. We’re very much in love right now and it’s feeling ever so lovely. It’s exactly how I always wanted to feel when i imagined ‘becoming a mum.’ Fair enough, i have just thrown a mild ‘paddy’ because he wouldn’t help me figure out what to do with a baby bottle? The only bottles i know are filled with booze and thrown against brick walls in celebration. I need help. Then i got my hormones together, enjoyed the fact that I have a pink-leopard print hospital bag and thought fuck it…i have bear baby clothes. I pretty much rock! Both our mums are on standby incase i decide to have a baby. Infact, we even have mums, who aren’t our mums on standby…which is something i love very very much. We have tremendous support. (God, my waters better not break whilst i’m at work. There’s nothing more awful to Me, than being a Glamour Puss, who has liquid thundering it’s way out of my *whoop-dee,* in a forceful, unstoppable manner.) I’ll stand there, pretend it’s not happening, probably fake laugh, then ask everyone if they fancy a cuppa tea? I don’t get what i’m  supposed to take to the hospital with me??? I’ve so far opted with a faux fur and nappies.

Anyway this boy i used to date, ‘Lashes‘ has been calling, texting and inboxing me. He knows i was filming in London in his neck of the woods on Thursday and for some reason wants me to talk to him, or meet up with him or whatever. I’m 9 months pregnant, completely working and in love with my ‘handsome.’ I feel like ‘Lashes’ had his chance and blew it. (Oh the joys of blowing it.) Meeting up with me once a week, bonking and letting me buy you bacon sandwiches isn’t a proper relationship. It’s breakfast! Then wanting to argue with me over nothingness, to the point where i am forced to throw you out of my appartment…to me…isn’t joy. I’m not a thrower. I don’t have the butch arms for it.

 I’ve now found true love, the real kind and everything. We’re about to have a baby. We’ve  never felt so in love and when i’m mad, Petey does cute things like places his glasses on wonky and does boz eyes at me,  in order to make me smile. ‘Lashes‘ used to go on about how many chicks apparently wanted him, after an argument. And that my dolls, is the difference between the two gents! One wants to make me happy. The other wanted to make me feel jealous. Make sure you choose your partner wisely. I’m happy with what i have and where i am in life. It’s a very exciting time really and i can’t wait for the ‘oochie-ouchie’ labour circus to begin. I’m very lucky.

I’m at work all day tomorrow…dicey time really to be working i know. But i’m a girl who plays with fire. It has often gotten me into trouble. However like my mother says, i’ve done a lot of silly and impulsive things in my life, yet this baby is the best ‘silly..impulsive ‘thing i’ve done. Excited Face. ‘*Does lippy.* I’m bringing  a life into the world. My very own ‘IT’ girl! How marvellous can Wunna Land get! It’s insanity, dipped in glitter. It’s everything I ever wanted.

Okay my lovely licks of lovage. I’m feeling a distinct lack of inspiration right now, due to mind blank, it being midnight and grapes. I hate them in prunets. I want fed to me in jacuzzis, by hot men in togas. I think i need to go to bed…which means i have to do my hair. 🙂  A glamour puss always does her hair before bed.

I’ve had a crazy amount of blog hits today and i pretty much have YOU to thank for that. All i can say is stay tuned? I have a bambino coming into the world rather soon…so life is gonna get ‘kitty cat’ hectic.

2 thoughts on “A Bit of a Midnight Moan”

  1. Hey There Baby Your Picture Above This Paragraph Of Writing Is Very Sexy I Would Like To Get Your Email Or SomeWay To Contact You Just To Have A Chat My Email Address Is ellis2002002009@live.co.uk Mail Me Baby Or Inbox Me On Facebook It’s Shaun Christopher Ellis

    Thanks Sexy From Shaun Ellis. xxxxx


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