I actually feeling AMAZING today. I feel feisty, sexy, and dipped in a gooey pink ooze fest of ‘oooh laa laaa.’ I guess all i needed was sleep and a Weetabix.Who knew?? I’m just a believer in ‘moving’ as opposed to standing still in time and dying slowly…because that’s what we’re technically doing…therefore i’m choosing to do mine ungracefuly. However, sometimes i forget that the jiggery pokery, the madness, the cheeky chappy elbow dancing, needs a moment of ‘stillness’ in order to really beable to hit the heights of Greatness. I want to annoy people with my sexy nuisancing, aswell as put a smile on their face. ( I mean everyone has a Chrissie Wunna tale to tell..and when they tell it, it always ends in laughter and a roll of the eyes.) Basically, for the full Wunna effect..the *sizzle* of deliciousness, needs the odd day off. Yesterday, i felt almost 92 years old. I was ready to dye my hair purple, throw my beige granny mac on and change my name to Nora. But now…(yeah yeah bitches) there’s no stopping this honey! Watch out…I’m armed with a morning cocktail and a pout that you only wish you had! Mmmmmmkaaay! (Do some Bimbo threatenning thug face here. Or abusively spank an erotic Panda, with a juicy palm of ‘ouchy.’)
Well it’s gorgeous weather, and ofcourse
Sunday…the day of ‘chillax’ and recoup. I was meant to be spending it with loved ones, who also share the last name of ‘Wunna,’ but htey decided to leave me and go off on a journey of merriment. (I think they’re filming or something?) I don’t have work today…i mean, i could go down to Wildcats and get my *wiggle wiggle* on for cold hard cash…but i’m not, because it’s Sunday. I have a week of work, therefore today will be spent grooming, winking, pouting, then getting on a train, armed with my ‘handsome,‘ checking into a Leeds hotel..watching him go off to money make, and watching me get all cosy wosey, until he gets back from clicking his heels in a force of work and returning for a bit of *kissy-face-pout,* with an over eyelashed puss of glamour. I’m going to make a really big effort to not be evil today, yet i’m naturally minxy, feeling a little bit funnier than what i really am. Therefore i predict good, clean and rather rather fun trouble. Booyah! *Wiggle-shimmie-throws pillows at you*
I’ve just seen a trailer on the telly, about a new show coming on about a chick that just loves making pies. This confuses me and humours me all at the same time. I mean, she snubs a hot doctor, just so she can make a big old pie! I’m going to complain, as the show (even though i have never seen it) goes against everything Glamour pussy. We say ‘yes’ to the hot doctor…not ‘NO..i need to make a bloody pie!’ Ugh! Everything, i’ve worked for in life…trying to influence others to wink, pout, flirt and celebrate in a disgaceful fashion..all down the drain, in one merry, pie making trailer. I actually want a pie now? Does it come with a side of diamonds? *Throws on a fur*
Hopefully today will turn out deliciously. I’m listenning to all my voicemails..i recieved 5 million (7) last night, from kittens all over the world. I love that i have kittens all over the world…how did this happen. (Fans herself.) Okay, as you may or may not know. I have Wunnarettes. These are the young girls i mentor throught life like a Big idolly sister of boobied ‘ooh laa’ and well i teach them about life, love and celebrating who they are. I’m obviously doing a really great job, because they tweeted me last night telling me they were blathered, had a bleeding mouth, we’re half passed out and had a tranny on their face. Oops! And i’m even broody right now. I guess, i need to sharpen my parenting skills a little, but not too much. I mean, i’m a bit disappointed because they could of also adding, stealing, winking and prank calling to that list of pokery…followed by boys.
Just to get the record straight…i’m not pregnant, but i WANT to be. Eveyone’s confused, but no-ones more confused than little old me. I’ve been a slag all my life, but now it comes down to the baby making, i don’t even know what to do? I’m 29 without a child. It’s time to have a baby Glamour puss…and i’m excited. I’ve signed Loverboy up for this task and ofcourse he’s agreed. Infact, it could’ve been his idea? I can’t remember, i was drunk. Y’know, we’ve been really open and expressive since the first date. He told me he was ‘in love’ with me after date two…I loved that and said it back…then from that point on…we were tag team. Hopefully, he’ll tag me with his *whoop-dee* and in my *inappropriate place,* then we’ll accidentally make a baby..and i can get on with Mothering, followed by taking over the world. I think it’s something i just really need to do, before I go forward in life. (We all know it’s only because i want a Mini Me. How funny would that be!! Once it’s grown, i’ll just have another one, until i have an unbeatable army of glamourous floozies and a couple of gays! Lock up your sons!! They will all wink, and pout and blow your house down…in heels, with martinis! Oh the joy!!!)
Anyway, on a different note…(got a little carried away there) I talked to a business man the other day and he spent his whole life without love, a family, or a partner. He worked 24/7…non-stop, going from hotel room, to hotel room, city to city, making more money than most. I looked at him and asked him if he was happy…he said ‘What do you think?’ I replied with a shocking ‘No.’ He looked at me, smiled and said, ‘Correct.’ Eww much! I mean, he chose that life. He wanted money. You can’t complain, if you didn’t change your life around for a bit of happy time. Everyone always thinks that you can’t change anything…when really, if you look at the big old picture…you can and at any point. It’s your life…you have once chance to live it and NO-ONE can tell you how to live it. They have just made you think they can. You have 100 years to really play, love, laugh, fight, bite, work, chill, dance, drink..whatever you want!! Make sure you fit EVERYTHING you want IN!!!
I’ve walked many lives, therefore i know what i want…and yes, i want to secure a reputation, a status (and i am doing)…i think i’m just secretly seduced power. Yet, at the same time i want the most glorious family. I have love and happiness, which makes me on of the lucky few in this world. All i need now is to tick the baby box, (and oh it will be the most loved and most glamourous child) and inspire the world…then i’m done. Really really happy right now. I think i feel a *shimmie* coming on. To grooming, i shall now go my dolls…\ugh, i hate my feet. Is it too early for a stella/lemonade mix up?