Morning Chums!!! I literally have a human karate kicking in my belly-welly and my poor little Baby Ruby has had to spend a moment of her time in the ‘naughty corner’ due to smacking Keiran in the face. I didn’t put her there. I don’t DO the ‘naughty corner’ because I think it’s pointless. Sitting in a corner for a few odd minutes, doesn’t make you want to refrain from hitting the male species in the face when they annoy you, be you 2 or 32. It wasn’t long. She was fine. In fact, she dealt with it with swagger, panache and a few fake tears. A champion she is. Even though half way through she looked at me in tears and cutely said, ‘Mama,’ (as she had run out of manipulation techniques to get her out of the corner. ) Then she sort of *blanked* Keiran like he was an idiot. (Been there. ) However, i’m sure once they were on the nursery run, she forgave him and let him be ‘Daddy’ again. The thing about Keiran is that he’s charming like me, so you always end up forgiving him, even if you don’t want to. It’s a technique we hope to pass onto our childen.
Anyway, THEN..and so i’ve read on Twitter, Keiran has managed to run out of petrol on his way back from the nursery run, which is typical of any guy really. I mean, they enjoy to run the car down until it’s ‘on red’ then passed being ‘on red’, like they can beat the system or something?
But Nope. The car just ‘middle fingered’ him with a ‘yeah baby, now push me,’ which unfortunately ended up happening. He apparently had to push the car a whole mile to the nearest petrol station, before his golf lesson. (Note, that I only know this from Twitter, as firstly he’d be super stressed because he’s in a rush AND secondly because men fail to inform their wives of things of that nature, in case they get a lecture. ) Not that i’m bothered enough to lecture anyone today, but a GIRL or a sensible boy would’ve maybe FILLED UP BEFORE they began the bulk of their journey…especially when there’s a petrol station literally 3 seconds away from our home.
Yet on the whole, it’s not fun is it…so i feel bad that he had to push the car. No-one wants to be doing that on a Tuesday morning…ever. I’d die if that happened to me. I’d be trying to push it in a mini skirt heels, a faux fur, big hair and diamantes…with maybe a wine in my hand. However, like i’ve always stated, i’m not one for the art of ‘pushing’ things, yet more made for the art of ‘pulling.’ I do find his car pushing experience funny because he is certainly one to always come out with these random ‘Army’ sayings when he feels the need to attempt to tell me off. For example…he’ll say ‘Chrissie…Proper Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance.’ PAHAHAHAH. Well i’m not the one pushing the car a mile because i thought I could beat the system. I would’ve filled up, if I thought I might not make it. BOOYAH! *Wiggle-Jiggle-Wink*
Okay, so this morning..i’ve chirply sent my address to Coca Cola, after winning a Marc Jacobs bag last night via my Diet Coke bottle. See! That is an incentive to go on a diet. Every time you cut calories…you get a free designer bag. I like it! I’m not one that has much trouble with the art of weight loss, as i’m usually always running around like a headless chicken in heels, living off cocktails and snacks and in far too much eyeliner. I mean, carrying my weave itself is a work out. So, after i’ve championed the *push-push* and produced a baby boy..i’ll be right back on the slimming front to try and find my waistline. I think i left it with my dignity somewhere. I’m kind of excited about it all now…which is really quite sick.
THEN, I gave the’ thumbs up’ and a quick edit to a press release that I had emailed over to me for the show that i’m appearing on shortly. I quite enjoy a press release because they always make you sound better than you actually are, like you’re a human of great worth, who should be worshipped by all. So, yeah reading that on a Tuesday morning doesn’t half make you feel good about yourself. I’m strutting around, with my coffee like the peacock of all pride, like I’m Michael Jackson famous or something. I kinda want to to know what everyone else’s says…and because i’m the nosiest of parkers at the best of times. I have sly eyes…yes because i’m Asian, but more because i’m …sly? Yet, it’s all good and well any time you get to be on the telly and ..well all the other stuff that I can’t tell you…it’s great because it makes you feel as though you’ve shuffled up the ladder of greatness that little bit more…whether you have or not.
Life is good…i’m feeling delicious and well i’m eager to no longer be sat on my preggo arse and get the balls a rolling! There’s only so much ‘nesting’ that I can stand to do….something tells me this last few weeks will be the longest weeks of my life! The good thing is that I go on hoilday on April 22nd for a week and well then i’ve got to throw together a Baby Shower, one that I haven’t booked yet for the following days after the holiday.
My Mums just tried to call me to hold a conversation before i’ve had my full coffee fix. Not fun for anyone really. Until i’m fully functioning, there really is no point in attempting the niceties.