I am literally running around like a headless asian kitty cat, with a debit card, a list of wedding ‘to do’s'…a schedule, bad busy hair, wonky eyelashes and a pair of fur boots, trying to get this wedding on the ‘up-up and away’ cloud of ‘ooh laa’…and let me tell you…it’s hard…EVEN WITH A PLANNER, a co-ordinator, a filming rosta, and a mildy troublesome fairytale.
BUT and let me lay emphasis on the ‘BUT,’ (and for once i don’t mean ‘booty’) i’m happy. I’m stressed, but on the whole in these situations understand that the only way to overcome anything in this jolly old earth ball is to reach for the ‘positive’ and get everything ‘ticked off’ happily and with hope. Yeah, i’ve had a rather bumpy 6 week wedding run, i’ve been drama texted, called names, fought a little, had to cancel moments, in order to make other moments achievable, made compromises and run on all cyclinders. (Yesterday was my day off from ‘wedding planning’ and well yesterday ended up not being the best of days. Especially due to rday part being awkward and the evening part being greeted by random exes deciding to muscle on in with beautiful Mexican drama, a week and a half away from the big event. ‘Drama’ is enough as it is, let alone it being Mexican, right? Wunna land is insane, however, i’m handling it and why? Well because that’s what i do. I always have haven’t I? And I’ve done well in life, even when it’s been littered with glitzy ‘ooh-aar-yadda-yadda’ and i’ve only done well because when ‘The Gods’ have decided to test me, i’ve had a moan, a bit of a ‘DIVA’ moment, but they pulled my kitten stockings up and got on with it with determination…and a really great bra. After the storm i’ve been able to look back at the situation and ‘celebrate’ it off…with a wink and a memorable jar of success.)
However, with all that has gone on…the positive is that i have GREAT friends, who go out of their entire way to champion me on and pull me back together, even if they needed to give me a ‘shake-slap,’ a cuddle or just words of utter support, love and kindness. (It goes really well with wine.) AND i have a really great family. The kind that no matter what will make their little dramatico daughter achieve anything she needs too, by solidly standing by me, with heart, a family name..and quite often a credit card. Like I always say, in life you can have ANYTHING, be it sacks fulls of ‘dollar-dollar,’ a book deal, a stint on the telly, a thriving career…everything! But if you don’t understand and have the basic foundation, of stability, built via unconditional love…you absolutely don’t have anything and cannot bloom to the place that you potentially wish to be, without feeling a little lost…even if it’s secretly. (You learn that when you grow in life. But know that gin does work. However, it’s only a temporary fix for happiness, a way to escape. Everyone needs a full time ‘whole’ of happy…regardless as to whether you fight it or not. My Daddy taught me that!) Oh…and having ‘fans’ helps a bit too. Nothing is better to me, then feeling grotty, going on Twitter and reading Wunna adoration, or blog mail. Puts a smile on my sorry, over eyelashed face.
WELL, It’s only just noon and BEEN all over town. i’ve already had a granny have a chat to me about her sex life, had a builder tell me i’m Spanish, had a taxi driver ask me why i was talking to grannies and then floundered into a flower shop in order to organize my wedding flowers, in a giant mad rush and with absolutely zero swagger. I do feel delicious though, as i weirdly feel healthy, fit, sexy and happy. I’m doing well. I mean, i looked like a ‘jumble sale’ yesterday early afternoon and the postman still took it upon him to ask me out, tell me i was beautiful and treat me like i was a Goddess. (It was unfortunate for him..and he wasn’t a looker, but i admire him for his sweetness…that in his hand he was passing me my extra wedding invitations without him even knowing.) I was wearing make up from the night before, smeared upon my face, red sunglasses, grey leopard print pyjama bottoms, a pink cheerleader jumper and a giant beige faux fur coat, that i thought hid everything. (I enjoy that i think the faux fur is a secret mask that makes my flaws invisible.) I like that he made me feel good about myself, as i was certainly feeling rather unattractive due to ‘kind’ words delivered to me earlier, via the fine art of ‘banter.’ I was quite evil also. I’ll admit that. But i’ve learnt that banter only works with fun aquaintances and not with people you actually care about. (God, i currently feel starving, but i can’t at all eat!)
Ruby, is an absolute delight and when I spend with her my heart fills with life and reason. She looked at me last night, like she was so proud to have me as her ‘Mummy.’ But then…and whilst she was still deciding to be a cat (the pic is on my Facebook) she demanded that i make her sandwiches…only for her to smudge into a rug. Nice! I love her…and i’m glad to be her stable influence in life. I enjoy that she can point at a book cover, see me and say ‘MaaaMi’ and watch a telly stint and again celebrate it with another fine ‘MaaaMi.’ Infact, (and i do love her for this) pointed at the pussycat dolls video at the weekend..’Buttons’ it was…and pointed with a ‘MaaaMi.’ ) #majorpointsscored. I’ve bred this beautiful little doughie eyed girly whirl and yeah she may tantrum (she’s going to, being a Wunna) but she’s just so innocent and filled with a warm heart. She is totally worth every wobbly bit i have on my body…i’d rather have her forever, than succeed at a tragico wedding diet. (I got told my boobs were ‘wonky’ and ‘saggy’ yesterday. Lol. So i told the human that delivered the line that they were ‘ugly.’) I’m secure with my attractiveness and mainly because that’s how i’ve accidentally manage to make my entire living. Booyah! (Y’know when i mum took me to purchase diamonds as a pre-wedding gift the other day for me. She said she did it, because she completely loved me and also to show me how to be a great mummy to Ruby. I love it! Example set!!)
Anyway, i’m really happy right now and because at the end of the day i don’t have anything to be sad about. I’m Chrisse Wunna, a glitzy trooper, in frilly knickers, often misjudged, but always filled with love. (Unless you piss me off, then i’m the first one to stick up for myself. I’m not one to waver on my opions. i hate it when people do that.) Life is wonderful. I feel strong, chipper and best of all inspirational. But if things in your life are tormented and you feel like your fast sailing to rock bottom. (Parts of my Hollywood time where like that, and because i never felt whole, not because i didn’t have the opportunity to be ‘whole’ but because I wrongly kept choosing out of stubborness to be lost.) Just *snap* out of it. Life and love are the most amazing things you have and the only things (and my good friend Kelly reminded me of this the other morning, after sweeping up broken coffee mugs) that they are the only things you can control and make ‘happy.’ Outside influences cannot be controlled. But anything that you can control and make happy…without wasting time…you should. You only have 100 years, (if you’re lucky) to make your existance completely worth it and you owe it to yourself to make every inch of it fully whole and not built and littered with a stream of temporary fixes of ‘instant.’
I actually have a 1pm appointment, so i have to totter off and go deal make. But i hope you find my blog well and i hope everyone reading it right now is kept safe, loved and happy. The Olympics are currently a ‘go-go’ and we’re actually doing alright, i think? Well from what i’ve seen. But i’ve only actually watched and been throughly impressed with the mens gymnastics and the mens swim team. (:) Typical!) I’m liking the Olympics much more than i thought i would, so right now, i’m all GO TEAM BRITAIN!
Love you. Thank you for following my life. I’m honoured. (Oh and for those of you asking me about the book, i’ve put promo of it on hold until after the wedding.)
Now go get lunch and a cocktail!