Happy Thursday Wunnarettes! I’m actually remarkably chipper today. The love life is blooming with a fruitful gentle shimmie of love. I have a gorgeous little girl. A remarkable hubby to be and after a bit of a ‘yesterday rest’ and a ‘party for one’ at The Castle in Wakefield, whilst my ‘handsome’ got his his ‘work out’ on life is nothing short of rosy. I’m really happy and proving that no matter what or where you are in life, you can always pick up with a smile, as long as you always know what’s important. I’ve found my ‘va voom,’ i’m back in the game and i’m loving every moment of family life, drizzled over with a glittery work life. In fact, i’m quite nervous about my work life, the book launch organising is terrifying me. Yet i’ve got good friends, who have had their lovely times on your telly box, supporting me and coming over to celebrate life on the 26th of this month to play in Wunna land. That part…i like. The putting it all together (and mainly because i’m one who enjoys everything done for me) is terrifying. But it’ll be fine, right? Well i hope. Who knows! I’m just nervous!
Okay, so yesterday when i was at The Castle in my faux fur and boobs…with rubbish hair. (I can’t for the LIFE of me do my hair and mainly because i’ve never really had to gorwing up in LA. It was always done for me, during my modelling days and well Keiran actually does my hair, BETTER than i do. He can whop in rollers for me in a second and do it thoroughly with panache. He’s just one of those good at everything guys, no matter what it is. I like that about him because i’m one of those rubbish at everything girls, yet lucky when it comes to life, i guess?) I don’t thing he’ll leave me unattended again, for a ‘party for one’ anytime soon. I think i was suppose to eat, as he worked out his legs across. I sat infront of a burning fire place and purchased a packet of crisps and a red wine. In fact 2 red wines, instead of doing food. Not because i was hungry, but mainly because i just didn’t want to do a full few courses on my own. When we eat, we do the whole shabbam. I couldn’t do it on my own. It felt pointless. I thinking eating is to be celebrated with others because warm food and good food is one of those life treasures that we have on this earth, that really shouldn’t be taken for granted. But he popped back in after an hour and after a cuddle we ordered a starter and a main and made ‘happy talk’ by the fireplace with love. The great thing (and we did discuss this) is that no-one really knows us (aside from maybe 2 people) the way we know each other. With both of us there is a ‘Chrissie Wunna’ and a ‘Team Keiran.’ Most know us as that, even our friends. Yet we love each other for being just little Chrissie and my baby boy Keiran. It’s a lovely kind of love and that’s how i always want it to stay..forever. He told me over again (probably to reassure me and because it was the truth) how much he loved me, how i was absolutely his forever, how beautiful he thought i was and how he couldn’t imagine being without me. I feel the exact same way and when the man of your dreams, looks at you and tells you that, as a kitty cat, a girl, a doll, you feel filled with life and love. I mean he even read out a poem he wrote me and it slowly lifted me back up to ‘chipper.’ When i’m down, even if he has aided the ‘down’..he’ll always try and cheer me up and well that my dollies is the sign that he is a truely loving man. (I was actually on the loo when he re-read the poem out. ) I love the ‘moments,’ we have and well i tell you the tale of our bubble, simply to inspire. Meaning, if you are a lady and you feel like you aren’t maybe getting treated the way you wish you were…know that there are great men out there. We ALL balls things up at times, yet it’s always about how fast you recover from it…and with love. I’m happy we’re doing well. It certainly made my morning ‘lie in’ beautiful. You know when you just lay there alone, smiling at life and because you feel 100% content. I love those moments! It’s weird because i couldn’t be without him. We’re both quite possessive and we’re both quite passionate. But at the end of the day, we both want to be loved…loved madly…and we give each other that because no matter what events occur, we look and we find each other back in the bubble in no time at all. I love it!! (He’s at work today in London, so i’m having a productive day at home. Book launch organising kills me. lol)
On a more creepy note!! Last night, i decided to tend to one of my impulsive, stupid late night ‘i’ve run out of mentols’ walks!! I did one the other evening also..in the rain, like a twat and out of anger. But last night, i tended to one, after a bit of a burger and OH MY GOD…girls, i will never EVER do that again.
Right..i’m used to people stopping me, when i’m on my own. I get boys pulling over trying to talk to me, or strutting up to me and trying to make converstion, be it in reallife or be it in cyberland.. it can be anywhere…but always when i’m on my own. I’m sooo used to it, especially from living in Hollywood…that i’m IMMUNE to it. Like it takes a lot for a guy to get my attention or make me feel scared.
Last night…(and i live in a village where all shops but one, closes at 10pm,) i went for that walk. After 10pm and to the only shop that was open. In the dark, in the rain…and with NO PHONE on me. It’s not that far away, but certainly a walk and all the way there it was pretty much fine. I sauntered up, in my own head really, dripped in raindrops and love..oh and in a beige faux fur.
The beginning of the way back, was dark, rainy but fine. The odd car, the odd person, but i didn’t even really noticed much of anything. Half way home, a white pick up truck, with orange flashing lights, drives past me (i think NOTHING OF IT.) It beeps at me. It drives past and i’m not bothered, concerned or even looking. I’m used to it. Within the next 3 minutes, what i know now to be the same white pick up truck, drives past me again and pulls into a road that i’m about to cross by. I see him, stopping, pausing and looking, but as i approach that part of my walk, he’s driven onward…so again i think nothing. I GET TO that particular road only to find that he’s done a U-Turn and is waiting there, doing nothing…and very kindly asking me if i need a lift home. ‘Are you okay? Do you need a lift? Where are you going?’
I briefly looked at him and with a ‘no, i’m fine thank you…i only live up here,’ i sort of made out that i lived 4 doors away and carried on walking. I still think nothing of it all. But no matter how kind, i’m not stupid enough to get into someone’s car. He drives off.
A minute later, i’m still walking home, he’s turned around, passes me again in the white truck, now going int he other direction…and watching me. I obviously didn’t live 4 doors away. It was more like 54 doors away. He does nothing and drives past and I’m now finding it a bit uneasy. He now knows, i have a walk.
I’m picking up my footing, but keeping calm, i’m passing people and i’m so grateful for people being around me. Old men who had just come back from choir practice, people in cars, people at bus stops, i’d never felt so happy to have life around me and because i didn’t have that far to go anymore. All i kept thinking about was Keiran and maybe because i didn’t have my phone to call him and didn’t feel fully safe. BUT, at this time i’m still fine…UNTIL HE AGAIN waits until everyone has walked by me and then curb crawls up, hangs out of his window and then creepily says ‘You’re beautiful, you look like a girl that’s looking for trouble.’
I look at him, like i’m not at all terrified. (I was sooo fucking terrified and i don’t even know why, because i never am…i’m used to it. But he creeped me out.) Anyway, i just look at him…i’m still walking…he’s curb crawling and i say, ‘No thanks. I don’t know any girl that’s ever looking for trouble.’ He turns off into a side street. i walk no now properly shitting myeslf, to the point where i’m now noticing it’s dark. I’m now noticing, it’s raining. I’m now noticing that i’m alone, that i have no phone on me at all and that i’m scared. But trying to hide it. Ahead of me is a pub and i’m that uneasy that i take a minute to head toward it…just to feel a bit safer and be around people…even though i knew i had a walk.
What d’ya know! As i’m by the pub, about to make like i’m going to walk to it. He’s there on the road again and pulling into the parking area of the pub…like he KNEW what i would do. UGH!!! I go into the pub doorway…and ofcourse, they’re closing, not letting anymore people in and fluttering people out.
I’m forced to walk out with everyone…all of them were smoking and walking home. I felt safer, but sods law…they ALL…walk in the opposite direction to me. FUCK! I see the man and the truck there. He’s smoking. I’m HAVING to walk by in his full view because i’m now desperate to get home to Keiran. I walk by…he shouts at me from his truck, asking for a light and beckoning me over. I look at him and tell him that i don’t have one, quite cockily, so i didn’t look scared. But i keep walking.
It’s a very short walk from that point to my home. BUT OH MY GOD, it felt like the longest walk EVER. i’m actually beginning to panic. I hate that i had no phone on me and the walk just seemed to never end. I was literally preparing myself mentally for what might happen here. It was awful and he curb crawl followed me all the way home.
I FINALLY got to my street, as he was muttering things at me, that i couldn’t really hear. I’ve told him i’m going home to see my husband. As soon as i turn right and walk into my estate…he speeds off into the distance and i RUN into my house, lock up, turn out the lights and into bed with Keiran. OMG! In that moment, i never felt so grateful for having him and so safe. It’s just a awful feeling to have to go through.
I’m in bed, i’m cuddling him and telling him everything and he comforted me, but with a mild anger for the man who decided to make his night about creeping me out. Nothing terrible happened…and i’m soo grateful for that. But it could’ve. I’ve learnt my lesson and will never put myself in a position like that again.
Girls, no matter how brave you are…DO NOT GO OUT ON YOUR OWN AT NIGHT on walks EVER and NEVER EVER BE ANYWHERE WITHOUT YOUR FRICKING PHONE. I needed to make a safety call and couldn’t due to an impulsive move. Impulsiveness is NOT GOOD EVER. Not just in this situation..but in any. Do not put yourselves in positions, where you could regret your moves. be it with danger, love or life. I have a little girl and i thought if that ever happened to her, i’d die! How stupid, was I!!!! I mean, i’m never one to promote living in fear at all. I’m a go getter, a risk taker. BUT, when you have people who you love and who love you back so deeply…it’s never worth the risk. They say ‘people are only afraid to die, when they actually have something to lose in life,’ and i certainly certainly do.
Be safe. Be loved, make correct decisions and marry a man that will protect you. (If i had called Keiran and just for a safety call…he would’ve launched out of our bedsheets, half naked with his golf clubs and clobbered him..and sometimes that’s what you need.)
On the whole, i’m happy and grateful for what i have and thankful for life and for not making anymore stupid decisions! Have a glorious day!
I love you.
*Back to book launch organising.