I’ve had no sleep, due to having my window open during ‘nighty-nighty’ time and hearing a rather loving couple domestically violate each other..ferociously, to screaming, crying, swearing and drunken romantic slurring, in a parking area. Lol. I shouldn’t laugh. However, there was just a moment where i bobbed my little head up, snarled over at Pete, checked over my tiny baby Ruby to make sure all was well in ‘dreamland’ then say, ‘is he beating her up and should we do anything about it?’ Pete opted for ‘peeking’ out the window, yawning and deciding that they we’re fine. (Then i heard manic girly screeching, followed by a Yorkshire boyfriend voice, repeating ‘You’re drawing unneccessary attention to us, you twat!’ I enjoy how calling a girl a ‘twat’ is no how men attempt to shut us up. Not in my world. That poor girl, may have dabbled on the ‘psycho’ drunk line of normality. However, we’re girls and when we’re young and in love…it happens. Even to the best of us. I mean, i’ve had to have security peel me off moving vehicles before in broad Hollywood daylight, screaming for a boy who choes another girl over me, to love me. THANK GOD ‘Wunna 2005′ is now over. Is it August yet? I mean how long has July been. I’m hating having to go to work tomorrow. I’m not made for a 9 to 5-er. I need to basque in the mild sunshine a little more, with deliciously fruity..i mean VODKA..drinks. I’m absolutely exhausted due to an eventful weekend of jubliant filly-folly. I’ve just this second got back from a wee sunday shopping day with my Mum and Dad. I’m a much better daughter these days and well luckily we’re closer than ever. but we actually always have been. I’ve been very fortunate in that area of life.
Okay, so much has happened so i’ll skim it. Let me take you back to Friday night 5pm. I’m chained to an office desk, feeling the most bored any little puss of kitty cat could ever feel. Infact, i could’ve even exploded with boredom, to the point where i began to get an itch. I cannot BARE to be sat in one place for 8 fricking hours. That’s no life at all. Therefore, my other office Glamour puss (Kelly) and I counted down the minutes..then thought ‘fuck it’ and left. It was Friday. I don’t care if i get into trouble. I work hard…and well i’m bored.
Friday night was DATE NIGHT! I galloped out of work, into the ‘still sunny,’ cuddled and kisesd my little baby Ruby, winked at my Handsome ‘Loverboy,’ dropped the fruit of my loins off at Grandma Wunna, (by apple trees) and was then driven off manically to get to our pre-date night massages! Oh yeah baby!
Now, i’m a whore for a massage. As a teen i would have one once a week, every week and because my mother demanded it. It is now a rather important part to my life, yet i’m always finding them to be rubbish. I’ve now finally found a delicious ‘rubber downer’ to mood music and dim, calm light and that is with ‘Neemaf Complimentary Therapies’ in Pontefract. Oh my GOD! Amazing! I’m now a slave to my Friday night ‘stress buster’ dream of a massage, than i’ve roped Loverboy into it too. (Luckily, he’s bouji and loves a mighty rub down. I picked well. I hate boys, who don’t have an inner glamour puss embeded within their soul. Infact, now i remember, my friend ‘Lisa’ was trying to make me choose CARDIO (EWW) over a massage! As if! I merely reminded her that if she intended on reaching the Ultimate Glamour pussy heights…she really did need to absorb the routine. Massage OVER cardio…EVERY time! Then i craved a sausage roll…as she had one…that she claims was the one i left in a wheely bin outside ‘United Carpets.’ )
My rub down went blissfully. Then Pete had his little turn at total enlightenment. He didn’t realize that the ‘stress buster’ massage was only a BACK massage..and instead of only peeling off shirt, he got completely and embarrassing nudies (hello Jackson 5 pubes) and laid on the ‘rub-down’ table, to a ‘wooo’ of calming spirt music. Haha. Poor Tracey! (Our masseuse.) Then i let then throw in some accupressure on Pete, because i didn’t know what it was. Hilarious, it was a man, lovingly massaging Loverboy’s head. HAHA. I believe it was romantic, yet awkward.
No word of a lie and god knows what happened in that room, but Pete literally thinks that truely is the best thing he’s EVER experienced. He actually looked amazed and teary eyed and we’ve booked in for one every week. Lol. Easy sell. I was stood outside the therapy room slagging people off, to Zumba music, whilst Pete was tending to his ‘Bromantic’ accupressure. My massage killed may have killed my stress. Yet the ‘diva’ in me can’t be tamed. No matter how hard i try to kick it out of me, or drown it in vodka.
Long story short and feeling wonderful. We venture off to Rinaldi’s for a romantic italian meal for two, full of glitter, love, flirty eyes and vino. Pete kept telling everyone that he a massage. LOL. Even the waiter. Gorgeous meal. Rekindled our adoration for one another. Walked out hand in hand under the stars and got home, for me to pass out in my eyelashes and boobies! Woo-hoo. I’m a biddy now. I can’t take the pace. I’m far too busy to be FUN for that long.
Wok up the next morning, got the keys to my new pad, met my mum, dad and brother, ventured to Doncaster with baby Ruby and shopped ALL DAY. Wanted a coffee, ended up coming back with a receipt for a kingsize bed. Had the best time with my family in the sun, whilst getting our ‘purchase’ on. Bought Ruby everything and simply because she looked at me like she couldn’t live without the toy version of the ‘Zing Zilla ‘ monkies. My mum bought a bed, simply because I did. (Oh the pressure) and i actually met loads and loads of Wunna fans! Loved it. You all kept poking out from around corners with an ‘I loved you on BBF’ or an ‘I follow you on Twitter.’ How sweet. It really does my ego the world of good. It makes me believe my 5 minutes is re-reving. Lol. I loved meeting everyone..even if it was in Primark.
Wonderful day. Over-spend. Feet hurt. Got home. Played, giggled and chilled with my little Rubes. No…wait? We actually ALL met up at the new place for a nosey. It’s gorgeous. Pete was weirdly quiet during his ‘look around?’ My family adored it and rooted through every cupboard and then Ruby and I opted to the ‘woo-hoo’ option and laid on our backs in the empty, but freshly cozy cream carpetted living room, infront of a remote control fireplace giggling and making ‘carpet angels.’ A moment of greatness that i’ll always remember. I pretty much got the house FOR HER.
Then we got home. Loved, laughed, lived and conked out. (I might of had another vodka spritzer. ) Went shopping again this afternoon, after a moment at a garden centre for lunch. I’m now back home, not at ALL wanting to go to work tomorrow because i’m surely far too delicious for such boredom. It’s getting me waay down.
This is the only time of the day i get to spend with Pete and Rubes…so dollies i’m gonna get to it. *Wiggle-wink.*