Windows. Weird things really. I’m just sat at home, waiting for Loverboy, looking out of the window, from a glass table. Windows tell you everything…show you everything…display a section of the world from a pretty box. A box allocated just for you, to make what you WILL, from what you see. The only thing the window from our Pontefract appartment is showing me… is my own reflection. Firstly, it has great taste.
Secondly, well i’m just gonna stick wit it has great taste. There’s no pint in me trying to get deep at 8.30pm, just because i’m alone and need to break my eyes from continous online episodes of ‘The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.’ A life I LOVE! I always have. Anything that dips me into a world of all things glamourous, luxurious, fun and diamond dripped, with girlie essentials and happy faces… makes my world complete. It’s just the way i am.
I mean, don’t get me wrong. I enjoy a kebab, after a night out on the razzle, in one of those clubs where your feet stick to the floor and you get your cocktail in a plastic cup, for under a pound. (I love that there’s an actual PUNCH BAG in the local kebab, or is it pizza place, that you pay to use after you’ve been kicked out of’ Big Fellas.’ Which if you don’t know…is Pontefract’s lovely nightclub. ) Yet, i’m just a girl, who enjoys a 5* dinner, with champagne, or fun umbrella drinks. Or a wine bar with my ‘Handsome’ in the most glamourous set of heels and a dress. I’ve travelled to exotic lands and not so exotic lands. Experienced the world and loved it. The best an worst of it all. Every path, i’ve ever wanted to take. Now, i’m 30…i know what I enjoy. But that’s what being 30 is about. Using your 20′s in an experimental fashion, in order to ground your hot pink ‘choos’ when you’ve successfully graduated them and take the diamante sprinkled road into your next chapter. Everyone’s always referred to me as mad, or ballsy, a rollercoaster of utter messiness. However, if you look a little more closely…i’m actually doing everything right. (I’ve just cried at Bran Flakes. I love hormones. Hello Pregnancy. It’s week 39!)
Back to windows, whilst i’m dipping my pedicured toe in nostalgia (and the face of Pete’s kitten.) I’ve felt like I’ve spent a whole lot of my life, over dressed, draped in jewels, with a sparkly clutch, far too big eyelashes and too much lippy whilst glaring out of hotel windows, with a mobile phone in my hand and a sense of wonder in my eye. It’s usually the third thing that I scan, when I arrive in a hotel room. I do the bed, the bathroom, then the view. If i’m hotelling it. I like to be high up…because we all enjoy a bit of a power trip…with a minibar gin and a hotel dressing gown. When Pete & I get to a hotel room…if we have time, the first thing we BOTH do…is take all our clothes off (hey, hey, daddio) and get into our ‘provided by the hotel’ white dressing gowns and slippers…with a wine AND a coffee. We always attempt to use the ‘in room’ coffee machine and it always comes out crap.
Anyway, i was thinking of ALL the hotel room windows, i’ve gazed out of, for a single moment of ‘Princess’ reflection. Ones all over New York, onto nightime skylines and avenues. One’s in the Vegas, which have a charisma of adventure, dipped in that little bit of hoochie. One’s in high class London, where you see all of the city at work. One’s in Yorkshire, where you see that great northern warmth of ‘banter-banter.’ There have been windows in Asia, displaying grand oriental buildings, filled with that magical promise of Eastern passion. The Hollywood party hotels, where you can pick out your club victims, from your personal view from above. Beautiful windows, hidden away in the calm of ‘Bel Air’ or windows that have placed me directly in the middle of a busy European bustle.
I’ve always done the same thing, in the same ‘Princess’ attire..which is simply looked, laughed and absorbed. Life’s one of those weird things that you kinda of need to remember to digest as you go along. People often forget to digest the wonderful moments that happen to us, because we’re flown into a euphoric state of gleeful bliss and drinking is usually happening. However, when bad things happen, we tend to dwell in the moment of them. We almost hold onto them like comfort blankets, instead of tossing them away like a cheap thrill for a fiver. Weird that innit?
I’ve remembered the great moments of my life and i’ve blogged all the bad ones..meaning i can afford to rid them from my rather delicate system and release them back into the world. (Lucky you.) I’m usually surrounded by lots of family and friends. Bringing everyone together. Having fun, with cocktails, love and laughter. I love to entertain. I enjoy being a hostest. I’ll embrace a stranger and welcome them into my world.
However, what I do enjoy about life right now, is the fact that after I’ve looked out of that ‘window‘ of hotel, mobile phone in hand, with a smile on face. (I’m usually always with a ‘handsome‘ be him temporary, longterm, or a boy who, at that time, thinks he wants to love me.) I look behind me and now laid on the bed, I see the same face every single time, looking right back at me, with a face of innocent excitement and eyes that soulfully say ‘I love you.’
That’s really the only thing that has changed in my life and it’s that ONE little thing.. that has been strong enough to not only make me no longer need to fight, but to change everything for the better. I’m now a much better version of myself and dollies, I’m the luckiest Glamour puss alive!! We all need a ‘ Loverboy.’ But one that brings out the best in you!!
Chrissie Wunna: My Next Chapter