Just tottered (well was driven) home from a busy, busy day at work. I’m loving having a normal job. (I do Promotions & Relations…mixed in with a dollop of accounts for Xercise4less..a new budget chain gym in the Yorkshire area.) It’s really kept me sane during my time of preggoness and let me tell you…it’ s been non-stop! I’m loving it. I juggle this with a world of showbusiness. Blog writing, book writing, cosmetic line running and ‘on the telly’ stuffage. I took a year out in order to have a bambino and a long term boyfriend. Cupid…as always…. granted me with both. (He spent years tossing me Ultimate losers. Then when he actually cut me some slack and gave me my share of ‘ Happily ever after’…he bundled it all on me at once…with a ‘There you go bitch. Let’s see how you like it!) I love love. But i don’t like Cupid. However, saying that, what we do have in common right now, is the fact that we both wear a nappy. Mine is to prevent unfortunate preggo vagina dribble. His is because he’s a gorgeous…fucking weirdo.
I’m currently easing into the end of my ‘year out’ of showbizzy shenaningans and i’m already lucky enough to have been invited back into ‘the club.’ I’m apparently a future face to watch out for. I do actually believe that and because things keep accidentally going my way. I do have a plan. I do. Like really! Now, i’m juggling a day job, a showbizzy job, writing, makeup lining, being a proper girlfriend and a soon to be MOTHER and all at the same time. To look into my life from across the way, it kinda seems hot and hectic. However, luckily, i’m a Glamour puss who can handle anything. The busier I am. The better i feel. And Dollies…i can do it ALL in heels, tits, with a heart and a shimmie that could make the most disturbed human being want to tango. *Cheer here.* (Oh fuck it…just give me cash.)
I’m at the glass kitchen table, thumbing through ‘Confessions of an heiress,’ with a kitten by my side, a gym class timetable, my *bump* and Pete darting about around me, (who i believe seems quite horny.) He’s making us a chicken dinner and every so often turns to me, gives me the most passionate of kisses, then suggests something sexy. (Apparently, if i ‘put out’ now, the baby will arrive. I’m dying to be a mum…so i might just reach for the nipple tassles. Or i might just not and instead *trump* the national anthem.) Chicken must make him horny? But he is half black. Which pretty much explains that theory. (I can’t belive how hard i’m working. I called ‘selfish’ today for actually wanting to take the WHOLE DAY off work, to have the baby. lol) GOD, i wish see would hurry up and arrive. I really am going to have to resort to squats and i don’t squat for anything. Not even diamonds. All i can smell is a thick cloud of garlic. It’s actually delicious. Maybe i will ‘put out?’ He does have a great bum. Infact no. He’s just told me that our baby will be a ‘symbol of our sex.’ Erm..doesn’t he mean ‘love?‘ [One second.] No..he definitely meant sex. I replied with a ‘What do you mean? You think she’ll be slaggy?’ And he responded with a ‘No…we made her, y’know created her from our sex.’ He needs to back away from the chicken. His hormones are getting the better of him. However i shouldn’t complain. People have made a lot worse from their sex…like a delicious mountain of herpes. I’ll take ‘Baby Glamour puss’ over that ANY day! *Checks crotch-forgets she can’t see it.*
Talking about herpes. When i get spotted out and about. People will stop me and tell me everything about their life. I do love this, because i have a keen interest in people, the world and jiggery pokery. Plus, i am honoured that others read my blog. (EVERY continent of the world much! *Boast-Boast.*) Yet because people read about my life on a daily, they feel like they know me…and they do. Therefore they feel comfortable enough to tell me EVERYTHING about theirs. When i say ‘everything’…i simply mean that they all want to inform me that they have an std. I’m not even joking. I promise you, that within the last 3 days, four different people, have randomly stopped me in town, adored me, congratulated me on my *bump,* then told me they have sores on their crotch. I obviously bring out the best in people. I really do love being Me. I wish you could all live it for a day.
Other than that, work and love. I’m currently being inundated with messages from you all. I’m super glad that you’re all excited about the birth of another Wunna. I’m excited too! I just hope see comes out with her elbows tucked IN for obvious *ouchie* much reasons. Pete and I now have everything ready. All we need is the baby. I CANNOT even describe how happy i feel. Having a daughter will really make a giant difference in my life. A wonderful difference. I’m utterly commited to such a task. Well done me! I mean, before now…all i seemed to be commited to was gin. (I’m still sad that Pete wouldn’t let me name her after booze, or a stripper.) I’m really pulled myself together and it’s actually amazing how well you do, with work, money, love and life..when you finally *zip* up and become less messy. I’m now proud of who i am. I always was. Yet now i’m even prouder. *Wiggle-Wink.*
I’m managed to eat my dinenr between my blogging and i’ve just realized that there’s thi total weirdo on Twitter (@PerryM1tchell) who keeps tweeting really pervy things to all random kitty cats. Today he tweeted ‘…could you give me any tips to last longer when i’m masturbating?’ Erm..how about i’m 9 months pregnant, so ‘no.’ I mean honey…if you’re a boy and you actually need willy wanky tips, then there really, truely is zero hope for your sexual future. Wait until you have to play with real life girls. It’ll get far more complicated, trust me. If you can’t master ‘phase one,’ of the art of rumpy pumpy…you’ll only get as far as ‘blow up doll’ and even she’ll come to life and spit you out. (Well hopefully? I’ve heard blow up dolls are terribly whorey. They just want to be loved. )
I must go now and enjoy good old ‘love’ with my ‘handsome’..with Cornettos. I’m working ALL week, so if my baby girl decides to ‘plonk’ out…lets hope see waits til the weekend. I’m waiting for a call from Nina at ITV2 and i’ve almost done my entire book! If i’ve learnt anything over the last year. It’s to not let other people make YOU do all the hard work to get noticed, only to think that they can jump on your pretty diamond encrusted boat of popularity and in order to get ahead. Do your own *work it-own it*…You’ll feel better about it in the end!