Just recieved a text all the way from New York, from a guy friend, who just wanted to inform me that he just got done ’Four Pump Sherlocking’ someone! (hahaha.) I made this little phrase up, after i was once ‘Four Pumped McSherlock’ by a boy who i worked my friday night shift with…when i worked at a gym. Long story, i was partying at the Mondrian, and had to get driven by a ‘i didn’t know he was gay yet’ friend, to have a bedroom shuffle. I named a dress after him. He then went on to write a rap about me containing the words, ‘I hit it, but i quit it, ‘cos i found a better girl…’ How romantic! Can anyone say ‘Asshole??’ Good times!
Anyway, the ‘Four Pump Sherlock’ is when a guy (during ‘Sexytime’) completely (and by accident) misses your Vagina hole and wedges his Penis inbetween your inner thighs and ‘pumps’… ferociously. (4 Times!)Quite unfortunately, he’s really enjoying himself, not noticing that he is nowhere near your cubby holed, ‘love dome,’ as he’s sausage humping…well, nothing….hahahah! You know it’s happenned to you, and don’t worry, it’s usually HILARIOUS! It’s more awkward for the girl, as we have to do the ‘erm…that’s not my Vagina’ speech, whilst naked, and no longer able to do any more fake ‘Ooh/Arrrr’ faces. The guy pretty much, just doesn’t care, and re-jabs it in, now trying to pretend he’s the hottest sex machine ever…in order to make up for the ‘Oops!’ Tragic!!! GET OUT OF MY SHEETS!
Welcome to the ‘Four Pump Sherlock.’ It’s a dirty phrase, kinda up there with ‘you have to be repsonsible now’ and ‘we really have to talk.’ Love it!! (But not really!)
Chrissie Wunna x